Blisters & Porcupines: How We Learn to Love

Dog vs. Porcupine

“Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The past is forgotten, and everything is new.”

2 Cor. 5:17, CEV

“I urge Euodia and I urge Syntyche to live in harmony in the Lord.”

Philippians 4:2

I learned about blisters learning to ride a horse.  Starting out I envisioned John Wayne, and every ‘cowboy’ movie I had ever seen.  Being 11 years old, gave me tremendous wisdom and experience.  Needless to say I gave up after being thrown headfirst three times.  The ground was very hard, and I’m sure the horse thought it was hilarious.

I also got blisters on my butt from the saddle.  Funny, I healed up pretty quick from the ‘throws’ but not so much when it came these tiny sores.  They were the worst pain I ever confronted in my short life.  These excruciating little carbuncles caused me several days of grief.  (My mom got me a pillow to sit on at the supper table).

There are blisters on the Body of Christ.  Little sores from too much rubbing.  Over time of contact, there comes an abrading and a redness.  Soon after it will deepen and get larger in size.  It’s very possible you will not notice until it is too late to avoid it.

So many of us are like porcupines.  (I think they are the official Christian mascot.) When challenged our quills get deployed.  A porcupine is pretty much defensive focused rodent.  It is only when handled that it will get riled up.  Again, many of us are reasonably passive, but when crossed we have a real problem.  Some have tamed this response, and as a result are more approachable than others. Others will lash back.

Our relationships will be a continual issue for us.  We will often meet people who will trigger a response in us.  Some have a ‘hair trigger’ around certain people they meet in their day.  We generally surround ourselves with those we’re compatible with. Part of the reason is that it is taxing and it requires so much energy to extend our quills. 

We learn to steer clear of personalities that are not worth the level to maintain. But generally “porcupine people” teach us more than we realize. I think that is their true purpose.

How we treat each other as believers is critical.  We must beseech the Lord to give us soft and loving hearts.  He was compassionate to us when we were so abrasive to Him (and others).  We need to see that we are not called to be compatible– we are called to love.

Part of our transformation will come when we learn to serve.  When we surrender our rights, and humbly submit, something changes in us.  We will become like Jesus (long-term) when we become like Jesus (short-term).  It is all on you.

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A Deep Crisis of Faith

faith-mental-illness

Church response to the mentally ill

By Peter Andres

Are people of faith with a mental illness different from those who have a physical illness? Much about mental illness still remains a mystery. That’s one of the reasons people are tempted to spiritualize the problem. They hope that the person with mental illness would be able to gain spiritual strength and thus gain victory over the illness.

What remains hard for many to understand is that having a mental illness and being a strong person of faith is no different than having a serious physical illness and being a strong person of faith.

How can church leaders encourage support of people with a mental illness? What does a person with a mental illness need to help him or her feel accepted and part of the congregation? How does the Christian message and experience take on meaning under these circumstances? What exactly is mental illness, anyway?

Marja Bergen, in her book, Riding the Roller Coaster (Northstone, 1999), describes her experiences living with bipolar disorder. She talks about the many important factors that helped make her life with this illness tolerable and manageable. Having a supportive husband, friends, and service systems were critical, but she also acknowledges the importance of a spiritual home.

Her church friends learned to understand her illness and provided spiritual nurture, especially during difficult times. She speaks about friendships which include a common belief as being the most valuable ones she’ll have. But she also admits that she was fortunate in this regard.

Sadly, many people with mental illness who look for spiritual help during difficult times face ignorance, stigma, avoidance, and judgment. The spiritual counsel and prayer these people receive frankly do more harm than good.

Understanding mental illness, even from the professional, scientific perspective, is still very much a work in progress. Schizophrenia and its related disorders, bipolar disorder (also known as manic depression), major depression, panic and obsessive-compulsive disorders, are all considered mental illnesses. It is estimated that between 15 percent to 20 percent of North Americans will, at some time in their lives, experience a mental illness. Most of these will suffer debilitating depression.

Evidence suggests there are probably organic (biochemical) reasons for the illness, or psycho-social origins — or a combination of the two. Treatments that deal with the symptoms include medications, psychotherapy or a blend of both.

What is clear to people working in the field is that the experience of the illness goes far beyond living with the symptoms. While a person who has a physical illness — even cancer — suffers discomfort and anxiety related to the illness, those who have a mental illness suffer from a constellation of additional issues. These all affect their ability to return to wellness. One of them is stigma, both internally and externally imposed. There’s also the loss of self-worth and self-efficacy that might come with a loss of job, friends, marriage and the feelings of being separated from God.

How can the church assist someone in a situation as devastating as this?

1. Church leaders and church members need to know that a mental illness is not the same as a spiritual crisis. Nor is the absence of healing, especially after fervent prayer, a sign of judgment or lack of faith.

2. There should be no judgment about the use of mood altering medications. Medications are commonly needed to treat the bio-chemical causes for the disorder and radically help many keep their symptoms under control.

3. Quality of life for a person suffering from mental illness does not depend on a complete remission from the illness.

What church members need to know is that many experience a recovery which allows them to return to an active and fulfilling life — but still continue to experience times that are difficult. Recovery from mental illness means: the return of a positive sense of self, usually through meaningful endeavour (work, vocation), a circle of meaningful relationships, a place to live that the person can call his or her own, and a spiritual life that feels a reconnection with God.

The recovering person can be experiencing personal brokenness and limitations, yet have valuable gifts to offer to the church community.

Peter Andres is a regional director for MCC Supportive Care Services, a non-profit charitable organization which supports people with disabilities — including people with mental health issues. He can be contacted at peter@mccscs.com.

 

A Singular Coal

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA A young man had come to a decision. “I will not be attending Church. I need to stand on my feet, and be a Christian my own way.” He was quite adamant about this, and his young wife hadn’t the slightest about what to do. It seems he had grown somewhat hard and coarse over the last few months. He had quit attending services for the last few Sundays.

She had made a discreet call to their pastor; she also prayed for her husband. “What else can I do?” she thought. “We really need to go to church.” She went about her busy morning, washing clothes, and tending the fire. “Somethings are best left in God’s hands” she said to no one in particular.

That evening was chilly and a fire was banked up quite nicely. The little house was cozy and ready to be “buttoned-up” for the night, when there was a knock on the door. It was the pastor, smiling and holding his hat. “Good evening. dear ones– someone told me you had a nice fire to sit by.”

“Come in, Reverend; please, come and sit,” the young husband said. He was not really enthused by the pastor’s sudden and unannounced visit, but he was polite. Removing his coat, the pastor sat in big wing-backed chair by the fire. He was quiet. No one said a thing. They just watched the flames.

The silence continued for some time; no one saying a word. Suddenly, the pastor popped up and grabbed the black iron poker from its spot by the fireplace. Poking at the sizable bed of coals, he managed to drag a single coal from the fire bed to the hearth. He separated it from the rest of so it burned on its own.

Still, not a word was spoken. Everyone just sat and watched this isolated coal burning on its own. In just a short time this glowing coal had become a dying ember. No one spoke. The pastor guided the once bright coal back into the hottest part of the firebox where it blazed up immediately. “Well, it’s late and I best be going,” said the quiet guest.

“Thank you, Pastor, for everything. We’ll see you Sunday morning.” said the young man.

flourish-bird

25 “And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.”

Hebrews 10:25, NLT

“The Greek work for church, ecclesia, is made up of a prefix and a root. The prefix is ek – out of. The root is the verb coleo, to call. The church in the New Testament is made up of those who are called out from the world, from darkness, from damnation, from paganism, to become members of the body of Christ.”

   ~R.C. Sproul

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A “Zucchini-Blasted” Faith

Too much zucchini!
Too much zucchini!

I have been rightly branded as a pessimist.  My struggles are such that I must continue to press into joy, to continue over and over, shaking off the grave clothes, and step into the sunshine.  I need to spontaneously sing once in a while, and pick flowers. I know this.

For there’s an abundance in the kingdom of our Father.  The currency of that place is joy (and love).  The spiritual economy of heaven is solely based a free and lavish grace that is poured on criminals like me.  It’s outrageous!  And most of us do know it– far, far too well.

So fantastical are our perceptions of this awesome grace, that we can’t believe it is true.  It’s easy to doubt—to add things, make adjustments to this completely radical faith.  But as sick people we defy it all, and will often neuter the strong promises of God, making those verses eunuchs–without any power or vitality. I have done this repeatedly.

“And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.”

20″ Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.”

Ephesians 3:19-20, NLT

Knowing God’s love for you will totally change your life.  The promises in the Bible are additionally enhanced by the Spirit’s active presence.  When he enters your life, its like finding a 220 volt electrical line just when you have stepped out the shower.  You will be energized!  Watch the progression of thought in the very next verse.  It builds and broadens on this “grace thought.”

And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others.

2 Corinthians 9:8, NLT

zucchini3As I kid, I remember one year we hit the zucchini  jackpot.  They seemed to ripen all at once.  We canned and froze, but just couldn’t handle this harvest.  We gave away so much, until I resorted to putting full boxes in people’s cars– while they were in the store shopping! (Captain Zucchini strikes again!)

God is like that, we just would like our bucket filled and he fills up a dozen wheelbarrows for us.  We are super-abundantly, mammothly overwhelmed and “zucchinied-blasted” by forgiveness and grace.  This is just how things work in our Father’s Kingdom.

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