Category: Very helpful

Is Mania A Spiritual Experience? [Bipolar]

by Chris Cole

I was eighteen years old when I first experienced acute manic psychosis. I had just arrived at the University of Georgia for my freshman fall semester when I suddenly had what seemed like a profound spiritual awakening. I felt as if I was waking up from a bad dream, as if my mind and body were merely figments of my imagination. I felt an incredible transcendence and oneness with the universe, an experience I could only fathom to be spiritual. Back then, I didn’t know anything about bipolar disorder.

My first thought upon being struck with this overwhelmingly blissful state was, “This is what God feels like; I must be Jesus!” It was from there that I began my deluded descent into madness. I ran upstairs in my dormitory, assuming that my friends would be my first disciples, and tried to perform miracles to prove my divinity. When they attempted to calm me down, I punched one of them in the face, calling him the devil, and ran back downstairs. Campus police promptly met me in the dorm lobby and arrested me on the spot.

On my way to jail, I was no longer feeling so ecstatic. In fact, it was the most excruciating fear I had ever experienced. I began believing that the police officers were the Pharisees taking me to my crucifixion. They placed me in my own jail cell, and I began stripping off my clothes, demanding for the officers to come look at my naked body. Throughout the whole experience, I felt almost completely dissociated, as if I was watching a movie of myself with little to no control of the actor.

After a few days of trying to convince my parents that I was returning humanity to the Garden of Eden, they realized my condition might not be from taking psychedelic drugs as they had thought. I was escorted to my local psychiatric hospital, and once medicated, came down from my messianic mission to create heaven on earth. The only problem was, I had never been more certain of God in my life, and the clinicians just kept telling me that it was normal for grandiose delusions to take on religious and spiritual themes. I was not convinced.

My thoughts immediately went to the biblical stories I grew up with: how God tested Abraham’s faith when he was told to sacrifice his son, and how God communicated to Moses through a burning bush. Were these not examples of delusions and hallucinations? Even Jesus was convinced to be the Son of God. Were the holy men of the Bible bipolar? I had a lot of questions, and my questions seemed to be forcing me to choose one side or the other—either spirituality or psychiatry.

It took me about a decade to finally integrate both truths and find some peace around my manic episodes. I studied spirituality and psychology, and I came to the conclusion that bipolar disorder and spiritual experiences didn’t need to exist in opposition. I’ve come to some basic definition of spirituality as the transcendence of ego. In this sense, mania was indeed a spiritual experience, albeit an unmanageable one. This didn’t mean my bipolar diagnosis was bogus, and I’m not saying all psychotic episodes are spiritual. But I can now rest easy knowing that my experiences were both spiritual and bipolar.

If I’m honest with myself, a major sign of my mania is increased spirituality, but at the same time, a major sign of my depression is a lack of spiritual significance. Finding balance in recovery means that I am able to seek both spiritual and clinical solutions to my bipolar symptoms without fear that I am falling out of grace with God. When I was first diagnosed, I had the idea that either bipolar existed or God existed. There was no space for both.

My spirituality has necessarily evolved over the years. Because of my history with manic psychosis, I have to guard myself against dogmatic or superstitious beliefs. I try my best to live a life of love, and I rest assured knowing that the more kindness I spread to the world, the more aligned I am with my spiritual path. Telling my story of recovery has become part of this spiritual process. My faith means a great deal to my health, and without it, my recovery wouldn’t be as strong as it is today. I hope that by sharing my story, others going through the same difficulties might not take so long to make sense of their own experiences.

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Chris Cole has authored a book recounting his experiences, and he’s now a life coach for folks in recovery.

Source: http://www.ibpf.org/blog/mania-spiritual-experience

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So You Wanna Go Back to Egypt?

 

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God has always wanted to lead His people. I think that He is almost catatonic with joy when we allow Him to do this. Throughout the ages, and all through Israel’s history, we see Him reaching out to people,  who are stubborn and selfish in their choices. But He reaches out to them anyway.

Israel had been sovereignly led out of Egypt. Miracle after miracle had made this happen. A dramatic exodus from slavery would make the front page that day. People from every generation would know that God was setting His people free.

God didn’t tell them the way, but rather showed them the path Himself. He led them with “a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night” (Exodus 13:20-22). The people, however, repeatedly refused to trust their Deliverer-Shepherd. They hardened their hearts and rebelled against Him.

“Our fathers were unwilling to be obedient to him, but repudiated him and in their hearts turned back to Egypt, 40 saying to Aaron, ‘Make for us gods who will go before us; for this Moses who led us out of the land of Egypt—we do not know what happened to him.’”

Acts 7:39-40, NASB

They made the choice themselves, they would turn around. They would go back in slavery to Egypt. (Actually in their hearts, they had already done so!) They were rejecting and renouncing God, and turning their backs on Him.

But we are given what we want. Even if it takes us into bondage again.

When we begin to follow, God starts to lead. He takes an active role to guide and direct us, and to bring us into victory. When we try to go back to Egypt, we will experience His discipline.

“So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery…” 

Galatians 5:1, NLT

“Because of their unbelief they were not able to enter His rest” (Hebrews 3:19). Then the author draws a clear distinction: “They didn’t share the faith of those who listened to God. For only we who believe can enter His rest” (Hebrews 4:2-3).

There is a wonderful and real rest. But I am tempted to turn back. Will I decide to let God lead me?

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The Time is Ripe, [Ascension Truths]

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9 After saying this, he was taken up into a cloud while they were watching, and they could no longer see him. 10 As they strained to see him rising into heaven, two white-robed men suddenly stood among them.

Acts 1:9-10

Look at the disciples. There were 500 standing with their mouths open tracking Jesus’ ascension. They were witnesses to the Lord’s departure.

Suddenly two men appear, clothed in white. They both seem to be extraordinary–they clearly explained what has just happened.

“Men of Galilee,” they said, “why are you standing here staring into heaven? Jesus has been taken from you into heaven, but someday he will return from heaven in the same way you saw him go!”

We live in an age of history where Jesus sits on the throne. It is not an ordinary time, He has ascended to His Father and now lives “to make intercession for us.” This is no small thing.

Perhaps sometimes we wish to move with the disciples and have their experiences. Perhaps we feel we would be better followers if we could share with them the miracles of the Lord Jesus. Somehow we would be stronger believers.

Let us remember though that we will see His second coming. The angels were quite clear about this– He will come again! Scripture is quite vocal about this.

We will see Him just as He is, and we will be changed into His likeness.

We don’t know exactly when. It is Father’s decision. But we will be there, and the promises are true. This is possibly the greatest privilege we could ever have.

Saint, now it the time to prepare. We know enough scripture to understand the imminent. We are to take active steps to be part of His return to earth and His Kingdom which becomes visible.

“So you, too, must keep watch! For you do not know the day or hour of my return.”

Matthew 25:13

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Encouragement is Powerful

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Georges Henri Rouault, “Christ and His Disciples”

“But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!”

Matthew 14:27, NLT

In this moment of history there are more Christians discouraged than ever. We seem to doubt the very precious promises found in the Bible. Our very best now seems to be the worst we could ever wish for. Discouraged, we seriously consider packing it all in.

But their is another step. Something more advanced. That is diversion. A strange sort of deflection into complete disaster. Most of us would never dream of renouncing our faith in Jesus Christ, but if we are sufficiently discouraged we will end up there without much thought. We are being diverted into total loss.

Discouragement is not the final goal, but diversion could well be. Once we lose sight of our true calling and present nature we untrack and derail. We’ve rejected the rails, and don’t want to travel the tracks anymore. Our diversion leads to disaster.

A gift of encouragement helps another to stay on track. An encourager will stand and shout for you to stay in the faith. They are only a few to be found, for they are a rare species. But many exercise the gift without the distinct call. (More power to them). We need people who can truly encourage the saints to run well.

Dear saint, if you feel called to encourage others here are three things you must try to do:

  1. Separate and dedicate. Become someone who knows how to move our of your own past and to live now staring at the future. “Leave and cleave” is a good word for you.
  2. Master the promises of God. Read them, and master them. Put them on your heart so that the Spirit can put them on your tongue.
  3. “Pray like your house is on fire!” When prayer meets encouraging words it will turbocharge your ministry. It will also protect others from the foolish things we all say. Trite and simple things that will confuse them. Avoid doing this.

Please become an encouragement to those fighting a hard battle.

Prepare to be educated far beyond your present capabilities. An encourager will always have a “job.” The Kingdom has openings for all those who want to encourage God’s people.

The story of Elisha and his young man is saturated with the ministry of encouragement.

 “When the servant of the man of God got up early the next morning and went outside, there were troops, horses, and chariots everywhere. “Oh, sir, what will we do now?” the young man cried to Elisha.”

16 “Don’t be afraid!” Elisha told him. “For there are more on our side than on theirs!” 17 Then Elisha prayed, “O Lord, open his eyes and let him see!” The Lord opened the young man’s eyes, and when he looked up, he saw that the hillside around Elisha was filled with horses and chariots of fire.”

2 Kings 6:16, 17

“I would go to the deeps a hundred times to cheer a downcast spirit. It is good for me to have been afflicted, that I might know how to speak a word in season to one that is weary.”

–Charles Spurgeon

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