afflictions – Page 56 – Broken Believers

The Micro and the Macro, by John Piper

10piper — John Piper, Pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis. Writer and Speaker, DesiringGod.org

Originally dated, July 14, 2008 | By: John Piper

One of the reasons God rarely gives micro reasons for his painful providences, but regularly gives magnificent macro reasons, is that there are too many micro reasons for us to manage, namely, millions and millions and millions and millions and millions. God says things like:

These bad things happened to you because I intend to work it together for your good (Romans 8).
These happened so that you would rely more on God who raises the dead (2 Corinthians 1).
This happened so that the gold and silver of your faith would be refined (1 Peter 1).
This thorn is so that the power of Christ would be magnified in your weakness (2 Corinthians 12).

But we can always object that there are other easier ways for God to accomplish those things. We want to know more specifics: Why now? Why this much? Why this often? Why this way? Why these people?

The problem is, we would have to be God to grasp all that God is doing in our problems. In fact, pushing too hard for more detailed explanations from God is a kind of demand that we be God.

Think of this, you are a blacksmith making horseshoes. You are hammering on a white hot shoe and it ricochets off and hits you in the leg and burns you. In your haste to tend to your leg you let the shoe alone unfinished. You wonder why God let this happen. You were singing a hymn and doing his will. Your helper, not knowing the horseshoe was unfinished gathered it up and put it with the others.

Later there was an invasion of your country by a hostile army with a powerful cavalry. They came through your town and demanded that you supply them with food and with shoes for their horses. You comply. Their commander has his horse shod by his own smith using the stolen horseshoes, and the unfinished shoe with the thin weak spot is put on the commander’s horse. In the decisive battle against the loyal troops defending your homeland the enemy commander is leading the final charge. The weak shoe snaps and catches on a root and causes his horse to fall. He crashes to the ground and his own soldiers, galloping at full speed, trample him to death. This causes such a confusion that the defenders are able to rout the enemy and the country is saved. Now you might say, well, it would sure help me trust God if he informed me of these events so that I would know why the horseshoe ricocheted and burned my leg. Well maybe it would help you. Maybe not.

God cannot make plain all he is doing, because there are millions and millions and millions and millions of effects of every event in your life, the good and the bad. God guides them all. They all have micro purposes and macro purposes. He cannot tell you all of them because your brain can’t hold all of them.

Trust does not demand more than God has told us. And he has given us immeasurably precious promises that he is in control of all things and only does good to his children. And he has given us a very thick book where we can read story after story after story about how he rules for the good of his people. Let’s trust him and not ask for what our brains cannot contain.

http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/1307_why_god_doesnt_fully_explain_pain/

Need Immediate Help? Call 1-888-NeedHim

On a Wing and a Prayer

^{6 “}And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”

Philippians 1:6

When I saw this photo of a B-29 it seemed perfect to open up this post. Sometimes we return from combat ‘on a wing and a prayer’

I have been ill for a long time. My hepatitis has been aggravated the last three months. The Bipolar depression has been a bit better, but it seems to linger like an unwelcome guest. Recovery from the effects from my brain tumor has stalled. And I suppose I could go on, but I won’t.

I’m mindful that I was aware of hypochondriacs before this recent spate with a medical issues. I was pretty much annoyed by these complainers, they seemed to always be talking about themselves. Their self-absorption with problems and complaints was an irritant for me.

Until it happens to you. Lots of times there is a domino effect, with illness following illness. The doctors call this “kindling.” There can be an overwhelming co-occurrence. Things can move down hill fairly fast. And many conditions can overlap. Things cascade into another crisis. But there can be a right way to handle things.

“The moment an ill can be patiently handled, it is disarmed of its poison, though not of its pain.”

Henry Ward Beecher

Maintaining a spiritual discipleship is an obvious challenge. Having something even resembling a living faith is pretty hard. Three things have helped me. These three doesn’t mean that there aren’t others, its just these are the boiled-down essentials.

1) Prayer–

Things will often turn from bitter to sweet in just a moment. I think of Jesus turning plain, basic water into a delicious and succulent wine. When He shows up, everything changes– I change. I need him, His presence isn’t an option.

2) The Word–

Sometimes a just a phrase, a perceived inflection on the words. Simple verses, rolling through my heart and thinking create hope, and recharges me through one more day. I realize that these are our promises, for me to call my own. My enemy who hates me, is afraid when I start reading it. I need to read the Word.

3) Serving Others–

I can easily paralyze myself with the awful venom of selfishness. Self-absorbed faith will kill me. Actually, “brokenbelievers.com” has been a way for me to recover. (I’m sitting here writing from the cozy confines of my loft in Alaska— on a beat-up old laptop.) It has been a necessary thing.

Each of the three listed above work better when you mix and match them. Take prayer and combine with the Word and they will strengthen each other. Sort of a synergy happens, and things will come together for you, for one more day. And that is just how it seems to work. It’s a pretty good start, anyway.

Prayer’s of the Heart (intimatelifelesson-reallove.com)
Prayer in Times of Adversity (prayerfromtheheart.net)
Five Ways For Stronger Prayers (underthecoverofprayer.wordpress.com)
Is God Listening? Is God here? (justifiedandsinner.com)

The Ugliness of Self-Pity

¹⁴ “Yet I curse the day I was born!
May no one celebrate the day of my birth.
¹⁵ I curse the messenger who told my father,
“Good news—you have a son!”
¹⁶ Let him be destroyed like the cities of old
that the Lord overthrew without mercy.
Terrify him all day long with battle shouts,
¹⁷ because he did not kill me at birth.
Oh, that I had died in my mother’s womb,
that her body had been my grave!
¹⁸ Why was I ever born?
My entire life has been filled
with trouble, sorrow, and shame.”

Jeremiah 20:14-18, NLT

One of our most common battles is with the sin of self pity. I looked “self-pity” up in the dictionary and found the following definition: “A self-indulgent dwelling on one’s own sorrows or misfortunes.” When we view ourselves, we will engage things that are hurting us, and when we dwell on those things we are saddened and depressed.

Believe it, or not, our pride is at the center of self pity. When we start to dwell on our hurts continuously–whether they are real or imagined–we start to push out the Holy Spirit. For years I have been victimized by pain, and hurt. I perceived the “slights” from people to be worth dwelling on to a morbid degree.

I live in Alaska, and one year, I went commercial fishing for halibut. It was very hard work. When we made it back to port, the captain cheated me out of some of the wages that I was due. I was so angry, I felt I would explode. And this man professed to be a believer! Even though it was only $400.00, I carried an anger and a resentment over those stolen wages. I was hurt and bitter, and things festered. I tried to forget, and forgive but things only grew worse.

Our hearts are like a ball of soft wax. They get “rolled” around through the dirt, and the gravel. They pick-up things that are embedded quickly, and the clean wax becomes full of dirty ugliness. This was never the intent with the Father. And rather than clean up we choose to be hurt, dwelling over all injuries that we have absorbed.

Full of self pity, we feed on ourselves. And we have a voracious appetite. The prophet, Jeremiah turned on himself. Afflicted, and miserable he wanted to die. Everything inside was filled with misery. A few years ago I went through an exceptionally dark time. I had this mental picture of a huge fountain in a city square. Rather than flowing with fresh water, it spewed out filth. It was a “feces fountain.” A sewer bubbling in a beautiful place.

That is how I once pictured myself, full of stink, the feces fountain. Bursting out a stream of sewage. So much of this is based out of self pity. I was dealing with many morbid feelings and thoughts. I would dwell on the past, and combined with present issues created a nasty concoction.

Self pity is evil, it is a form of self-destruction. We come to the place where we can’t imagine forgiveness. To be forgiven means self-acceptance. And we simply can’t accept ourselves. We are way too evil, we are filthy, and we seem to want to be forever filthy.

Self pity is pride. Humility is repentance. We honestly need to move through this, and start liking ourselves. There is no question we have operated out of ugliness and our personal sin. But all of a sudden in the midst of our evil, faith steps out and we must believe that every sin is hidden by the blood of the Lamb.

Some of My Paintings

Here are some paintings I’ve done over the last few years. I hope that they bless you somehow. All were painted out of a long season of deep depression. Painting these (and a lot of others) was the only thing that kept me sliding off the edge. Some might ask, how can you create these out of your Bipolar Disorder? To be honest, I am just as mystified as you. None of these are ‘perfect,’ But made in a time when I was under a certain ‘strain.’ But they are what they are.

31038_395860324101_595434101_4245531_648237_n — One of my favorites.

“An artist has been defined as a neurotic who continually cures himself with his art.” (Lee Simonson)

“The Bipolar Mind”

“Three Crows Having Lunch”

All of these paintings have been given to various non-profit organizations, for the handicapped and the mentally ill. To me, that is the place they belong. “If you have two loaves of bread, keep one to nourish the body, but sell the other to buy hyacinths for the soul.” (Herodotus)