Category: brokenness

Meeting Samson

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The story of Samson (Judges 13-16) is painful. It ranks as one of the saddest tales in Biblical history, and reading it through again only frustrates me. Have you ever seen a piece of fraying cloth. Threads have worked loose and the edges no longer hold together. The mid section maybe fine, but hem is coming apart. The issue is one of integrity.

That is what I think the judge Samson was like. Incredibly gifted, but irrevocably flawed, he was ordained to be a deliverer. Think of him as a “freedom fighter,” called and equipped to set his people free. He was a man of intense contrasts:

  1. uncommonly gifted, yet strangely unconsecrated,
  2. incredibly strong, yet spiritually weak,
  3. called to deliver, but yet died as a captive

You might say he could never conquer himself. Forbidden things became permissible. He never could really say the most important word– No! Lust drove him as often as the Spirit of God did. Samson became a tragic figure in the history of Israel, known more for his failures than his victories.

“Then she called, “Samson, the Philistines are upon you!” He awoke from his sleep and thought, “I’ll go out as before and shake myself free.” But he did not know that the Lord had left him” (Judges 16:20, NIV).

This is perhaps the most tragic verse in Scripture. Samson had compromised to the point of being released from his gift. His attitude was that it would always be there for him, but that wasn’t the case anymore. They would gouge out his eyes, and chain him to a millstone to grind out grain.

Interestingly, in Hebrews 11:32 Samson is mentioned as an example of faith. But how much pain was afflicted on him, and how more brightly would’ve been if he would’ve learned to resist his appetites.

I have a tendency to fray at the edges myself, leaving me with an unsettled feeling. The hems don’t always hold. They come apart. The story of Samson reminds me of my need to watch myself closely. The lesson is loud and clear. Perhaps there is a Samson in everyone of us.

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A Fog Like a Cage Without a Key

Walking-in-the-Fog“That’s the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it’s impossible to ever see the end. The fog is like a cage without a key.”

Elizabeth Wurtzel

Depression is a stealthy thief; anxiety is like an unwanted guest. Both are brutal companions to have skulking around. They carry misery wheresoever they go.

A good many people simply don’t understand you. They often chalk up feelings like this to a lack of faith. And true, there maybe these issues. We understand having faith to be healed. But what about faith to be sick? Isn’t this just as important?

I have to believe that being a broken believer, with a mental illness, is as formidable challenge. I have to believe that holding a faith in a merciful God in my depression is as critical as any miraculous healing. [It may even take more faith.]

I believe in supernatural healing. Jesus Christ is the same today as when He walked the shores of Galilee. I trust in His grace and know His power. Many are touched by His healing hand.

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” 

Hebrews 13:8

Depression comes– and it irrevocably changes me. But mixed with an ample dose of His love, it loses much of the sting. I know it is painful and seems endless. But the Lord promises to deliver me, and He is always faithful. Always faithful. Always.

Faith handles chronic depression quite handily. It has never lost a single bout. I want to encourage you today. If you’re not in the throes of deep depression now, begin to build your faith for those lean times ahead. Start to stock up provisions spiritually.

If I have throughly confused you, I apologize. Perhaps this post was meant for someone else, and that’s ok too. Oh, and that fog— there is a key.

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 1:6, NASB

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How to Win

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“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”

Romans 8:18

If you’re depressed and defeated, the roof just collapsed, your laptop is crawling with “bugs” and it can’t be fixed, you win.

If your Christian life is either good or bad depending on how you look at it, and the pastor has asked you to head up a new children’s ministry in church, you win.

Perhaps you’ve been ill for a long, long time. You’ve forgotten what it is to be normal, you win.

If your boss goes back on his word and you feel used and you feel like a vacation is long overdue, you win.

If your spouse is distant and your children ignore you and the dog just pooped on the carpet, that’s all right, you win.

If everything is finally coming together and your dreams are beginning to be realized, you win.

”…in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.”

Romans 9:37

We engage every situation, every trial with the innate knowledge that we win. This defies conventional wisdom. Especially if you feel a bit besieged by life’s strange twists. But if the truth be told, we’ve already won through Christ.

In the bitter face of circumstances (often beyond our control) we can, by faith begin to discover that we’ve already won. (We become “teflon” –nothing sticks to us).

All you may have is wounds and a shredded faith. But if the Lord Christ is at the center of your life, you win. We carry a real hope that He can lead us through everything in His triumph. We can manage every circumstance when Jesus is fully in control.

No matter what happens, no matter what bizarre turn of events you face, “we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.”

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When Your Soul is Helpless

Psalm 86:1, A Cry for Help

(A prayer of David)

1″Lord, listen to me and answer me.
I am poor and helpless.”

There is a poverty that far exceeds anything physical.  It is not tied to our checking account or our investment portfolio.  We are poor people; quite destitute as a clear matter of fact.  We are penniless, and truly destitute of all things spiritual.  We don’t have, rather we  owe.

We are really nothing more than helpless beggars.  

Some of us gather at the King’s gate, truly assured we are nothing more than “sinners saved by a wondrous grace”.  We have to admit, we can never earn or achieve a spot in heaven.  This is quite embarrassing for us, that there is such a social pressure to be good and proper. (Funny, but yesterday I went out for a bit and when I got home I discover my pants were unzipped.  I was mortified.  But this brought home to me the embarrassment of being “undone”).

In some infinitesimal way, I was tapping into this deep feeling of being undone and shamed. But without knowing this sensation (spiritually speaking) we will go to our graves trying to excuse ourselves, and trying to avoid admitting our sin.  We point to our environment, trying to divert attention to something or someone else.

Jesus told us in Matthew 5, “Blessed are the poor in spirit… and blessed are those who mourn.”  It seems we are not suppose to attain, but obtain.  To take a certain forgiveness and a sincere mercy from Him.  He will give it freely to any who sense their need.  If you don’t ask, you simply will not receive.

King David spiritually understood his own poverty before the Almighty.  In spite of his deep weakness and evil, he knew that God was still approachable, and that He was listening to anything and everything David shared with Him.  This is a whole another level of faith.  It strikes us as arrogant and slightly outrageous.  “David, the cold and unfeeling murderer– the ugly adulterer?  How can this be?”

But it takes poverty to become “poor in spirit.”  What I mean is this.  To be a sinner, we must’ve sin.  We become beggars, by begging.  We need to stand at the corner, with our cardboard sign and our cup and confront others with our desperate need. We must do this spiritually.

In our discipleship, we simply can’t unhitch the wagon from our spiritual poverty.  We are exactly who we are.  Luther once said, “Sin boldly, but believe in God more boldly still.”  If we think that he was permitting sin, we are being astonishingly stupid.  Through this quote we come to a truth, allowing us to just accept who we are– “world-class” sinners! But also to believe, deep down, in a God who loves us profoundly and completely.

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