witness – Broken Believers

The Bipolar Believer

“Unstable as water, you shall not have preeminence.”

Genesis 49:4

“And for those who live in the land where death casts its shadow, a light has shined”

Matthew 4:16

I’ve been down this road before. I’m not surprised by anything.

I guess this is my big issue with Bipolar Disorder (BP); its unpredictability, and the way you fluctuate. You get up in the morning and you immediately have to start analyzing your mood.

“Am I more depressed than I was yesterday, or I am speeding up?” Am I acting appropriately, or am I stepping out of line again?”

For B.P. people, we can never be totally sure about anything.

We are always in a state of flux or movement. As BPs who are believers in Jesus, it seems like we have broken every rule in the book, twice. This disorder almost always demands certain hypocrisy– which instills a lot of guilt and shame.

Almost 40 years ago, a visiting pastor to our church came up to me and told me that he had a word from God, especially for me. This was long before I was diagnosed with Bipolar. I can’t remember much, but I do recall him saying, “You are as unstable as water”.

But I can also see now that my instability has made me a deeper, more tolerant person.

I now give a lot of latitude to others’ shortcomings. I know how difficult it is to process life and face issues. Because I do this “yo-yo” thing, I can accept inconsistency as a normal part of life. I realize that I’m not perfect, nor is anyone else I know. I’m learning to make allowances for it.

Sometimes, just being aware is half the battle. And I’m starting to understand how God’s grace is given to others.

I’m learning to be gracious. I’m learning how to love, I think. Maybe this weakness is becoming a strength for me. I hope so.

“And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.”

2 Corinthians 12:9, NASB

Standing With Her in the Rain

“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.”

Galatians 6:2, NLT

By Lisa Schubert, Guest Author

Samantha issued commands to the person on the other end of the line. When she hung up, the rant continued against our church, our staff, the weather, and this meal that would serve as her Thanksgiving dinner. I had to let her go mid-rant, but not before reminding her that I would keep her in my prayers.

Samantha approached me outside the church on Thanksgiving morning with her hair disheveled and her coat covered with dirt smudges and raindrops. She demanded to borrow my cell phone to find if the Thanksgiving dinner she had requested from a charitable organization would be ready for pick-up in an hour. I was in a hurry. I needed to be inside preparing to lead worship. I begrudgingly let her borrow my phone, but I insisted on dialing the number myself and standing with her in the gentle rain.

My encounters with Samantha have continued over the past few months. She’s almost always confused, angry, and paranoid. She tells stories about growing up with another member of our staff, who never met her until recently. It’s hard to know how to respond to Samantha.

A friend called me recently to ask if our church had any resources for helping congregations to welcome those who struggle with mental illness. I pointed her in a few directions, including the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) at www.nami.org. Even as I offered her the information, I felt uneasy. Connecting with those who have mental illnesses is a complex, difficult journey.

It was raining again on Monday when I saw Samantha. She was sitting in the front lobby of the church. She shouted at me as I walked out the door, “Be careful out there! Two guys tried to kidnap me, and I wouldn’t want that to happen to you.” Unwilling to believe her, I replied, “Samantha, I’m sorry you had a rough morning. I’ll be thinking of you. Hope your day gets better.” I continued out the church doors and opened my umbrella.

I later discovered that Samantha was mugged that morning. Thankfully, the police believed her while I had blown her off. They arrested the alleged perpetrators that afternoon.

I’m embarrassed by my lack of gentleness and compassion toward Samantha, and I know I’m not alone. I wonder what it means for the Church to embrace, accept and listen to those who have mental illnesses. I wonder how church leaders like myself can grow and help others to deepen their care for people like Samantha.

There are no simple answers, but I think the answer starts in a simple place:

We stand with them in the rain.

Lisa Schubert is Associate Pastor of Discipleship and Formation of North United Methodist Church, Indianapolis.

You Are Simply His Servant

“Which one of you having a servant tending sheep or plowing will say to him when he comes in from the field, ‘Come at once and sit down to eat’? ⁸Instead, will he not tell him, ‘Prepare something for me to eat, get ready, and serve me while I eat and drink; later you can eat and drink’?”

⁹“Does he thank that servant because he did what was commanded?¹⁰In the same way, when you have done all that you were commanded, you should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we’ve only done our duty.’”

Luke 17:7-10

“The will of God for your life is simply that you submit yourself to Him each day and say, “Father, Your will for today is mine. Your pleasure for today is mine. Your work for today is mine. I trust You to be God. You lead me today and I will follow.”

Kay Arthur

Really now. What little we give Jesus determines so much, since we owe him so much. The service that we can give to our Master Jesus is just a miniscule repayment for everything. Settle that now and God will use you.

Let’s think about this parable.

Question: Is the master unfair? Does he lord his authority over the servant? Is he taking advantage of him? Why is the servant so compliant? Every time I read this passage, questions like this always come up.

But even reading this, I still don’t grasp being a real servant. At least not consistently.

A couple of observations–

#1, the Holy Spirit really hasn’t taught me about being a total servant yet. Until he does, I don’t understand the deep meaning of this parable. (And it always goes deeper than I want it to.)

#2, I’m a product of my country, no such things like slaves, we’re a democracy. We have equal rights– to be a slave isn’t something I really understand. (It doesn’t really compute.)

#3, It’s purposefully constructed to create issues in my mind and heart. Something that “irritates” me–but in a good way. (Perhaps it’s the grain of sand that eventually becomes a pearl?)

And maybe all three are somewhat true. But no matter how I handle this parable, I always hit this spiritual speed bump. I really don’t grasp real servanthood. But yet, I still like this parable; I love reading it, no matter what it does to me.

We owe everything to him. Plain and simple.

I understand that I’m weak and shaky, but still, Jesus wants to be my Master. I’m his servant–at least I want to be–and He commands me to serve. Reading this parable puts this idea into a real perspective. OK, let’s now consider this verse:

“For you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

1 Corinthians 6:20, ESV

A transaction has been made for your soul. God has intervened, and he’s given you salvation. We have a life now that will give us life, eternally. Since he is our master, we can no longer direct our own lives. Like the “unworthy servant” in verse 10, we now walk forgiven and very much redeemed.

Interesting. The parable isn’t really talking to us on how to be saved, that’s given to us by faith. Rather it points out the service we give Him after our salvation. We are simply His servants now.

And we owe it all to him, He’s our Savior, and now our Master.

“The question in salvation is not whether Jesus is Lord, but whether we are submissive to His lordship.”

John MacArthur

Art by Eugène Burnand

Preparing Yourself for Water Baptism

“Those who accepted his message were baptized.”

Acts 2:41

“Repent and be baptized.”

Acts 2:38

“Having been buried with him in baptism and raised with him through your faith in the power of God.”

Col. 2:12

Perhaps the most significant decision we’ll make is to follow Jesus Christ into the waters of baptism. This is just obedience to the Lord’s command to be baptized. Discipleship begins when we appropriate baptism into our faith. Ideally, it should forever alter your life. At least that is the Father’s intention.

Baptism becomes a public declaration to the physically seen world as well as to the invisibly unseen world of the Spirit.

It takes faith to be authentically prepared for baptism. You will be taking a stand. By faith, you’re making public your allegiance to Christ. It is an important and critical step.

“Baptism was to put a line of demarcation between your past sins when you are buried with Him by Baptism–you are burying your past sins–eradicating them–putting a line in the sand saying that old man is dead and he is no longer alive anymore and I rise up to walk in the newness of life.”

T.D. Jakes

I suggest that you prayerfully attend examine the process listed below. You’ll find there’s a big difference between truly being baptized, and just getting wet!

The interrogative process can be used to solidify the faith before man and in front of His people. In a sense, it’s much like the vows made by a husband and wife in the vows of marriage.

Below are suggestions you should consider:

A series of questions are asked, to which the reply is always, “I renounce them.”

Do you renounce Satan and all the spiritual forces of wickedness that rebel against God?
Do you renounce the evil powers of this world that corrupt and destroy the creatures of God?
Do you renounce all sinful desires that draw you from the love of God?

The second half also must be asked, to which the reply is always, “I do.”

Do you turn to Jesus Christ and accept him as your Savior?
Do you put your whole trust in his grace and love?
Do you promise to follow and obey him as your Lord?

The Apostle’s Creed can be recited publicly (or privately in prayer).

This creed is our faith boiled down to its core essence. This declaration helps set us apart from the World, the flesh, and the devil:

“I believe in God, the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth. And in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord,

who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, and born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, who was crucified, died and was buried.

He descended into hell. and on the third day, He rose again from the dead. He ascended into heaven and sits at the right hand of the Father. From thence He will come to judge the living and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting. Amen.”

We need to develop these into a living discipleship; you’ll see that water baptism is analogous to a master key that opens the door to a special joy. Obeying the command to be baptized pleases Jesus. And that is what we long to do.

“Indeed, baptism is a vow, a sacred vow of the believer to follow Christ. Just as a wedding celebrates the fusion of two hearts, baptism celebrates the union of the sinner with the Savior.”

–Max Lucado

“Baptism is an outward expression of inward faith.”

–Watchman Nee

“Baptism separates the tire kickers from the car buyers.”

–Max Lucado

A special word to “older” believers:

There may come a time when you feel that you would want to be baptized again. I believe that this is not only allowable but commendable. You may have not had a good understanding of the baptismal process, but now it makes more sense to you. I would encourage you to follow your heart. God will honor your re-dedication.

Ask your pastor or an elder what they think.

Category: witness