When Your Soul is Helpless

Psalm 86:1, A Cry for Help

(A prayer of David)

1″Lord, listen to me and answer me.
I am poor and helpless.”

There is a poverty that far exceeds anything physical.  It is not tied to our checking account or our investment portfolio.  We are poor people; quite destitute as a clear matter of fact.  We are penniless, and truly destitute of all things spiritual.  We don’t have, rather we  owe.

We are really nothing more than helpless beggars.  

Some of us gather at the King’s gate, truly assured we are nothing more than “sinners saved by a wondrous grace”.  We have to admit, we can never earn or achieve a spot in heaven.  This is quite embarrassing for us, that there is such a social pressure to be good and proper. (Funny, but yesterday I went out for a bit and when I got home I discover my pants were unzipped.  I was mortified.  But this brought home to me the embarrassment of being “undone”).

In some infinitesimal way, I was tapping into this deep feeling of being undone and shamed. But without knowing this sensation (spiritually speaking) we will go to our graves trying to excuse ourselves, and trying to avoid admitting our sin.  We point to our environment, trying to divert attention to something or someone else.

Jesus told us in Matthew 5, “Blessed are the poor in spirit… and blessed are those who mourn.”  It seems we are not suppose to attain, but obtain.  To take a certain forgiveness and a sincere mercy from Him.  He will give it freely to any who sense their need.  If you don’t ask, you simply will not receive.

King David spiritually understood his own poverty before the Almighty.  In spite of his deep weakness and evil, he knew that God was still approachable, and that He was listening to anything and everything David shared with Him.  This is a whole another level of faith.  It strikes us as arrogant and slightly outrageous.  “David, the cold and unfeeling murderer– the ugly adulterer?  How can this be?”

But it takes poverty to become “poor in spirit.”  What I mean is this.  To be a sinner, we must’ve sin.  We become beggars, by begging.  We need to stand at the corner, with our cardboard sign and our cup and confront others with our desperate need. We must do this spiritually.

In our discipleship, we simply can’t unhitch the wagon from our spiritual poverty.  We are exactly who we are.  Luther once said, “Sin boldly, but believe in God more boldly still.”  If we think that he was permitting sin, we are being astonishingly stupid.  Through this quote we come to a truth, allowing us to just accept who we are– “world-class” sinners! But also to believe, deep down, in a God who loves us profoundly and completely.

bry-signat-1

cropped-christiangraffiti1 (2)

5

Nothing! Romans 8:38, Revisualized

Just a gentle reminder from one of the greatest truths ever written for the hearts of men. I’m sure you have either read it or heard it many times. Here, in this artwork you can see it. I hope that this approach will help you receive this truth by faith. It helped me!

http://www.facebook.com/TypographicVerses
http://www.facebook.com/TypographicVerses

bry-signat-1

cropped-christiangraffiti1 (2)

When You’re Out of Control (A Reblog from 2013)

Originally written August 29, 2013 and shared today hoping it will bless someone.


 

“I’m must show myself; things are not going well, to be honest.  I’m becoming more and more fragmented.  And I can’t seem to hold it together.  Essentially, I mentally can’t keep it centered on the things I know are right and appropriate. My mind is in a muddle, and my heart is not far behind.

I can’t go on like this.  I have to confess that I’m spinning out of control.  There are too many issues that hammer me, without any resolution or finality.  I need a “booster shot” of grace. (Perhaps, maybe an I.V. would be better.)

All I want is to escape, and to shake off these ‘parasites’ that sap me of any strength I might generate.  Far too many things are draining me of any vitality and hope.  Despair and despondency have suddenly shown up at my door, but I treat them as unwelcomed visitors, and hope they will leave me alone.  All they want to do is take me apart, and dismantle me, and I seldom advance beyond this. I haven’t invited them.

This simple blog has kept me going.  The posts that I write are sincere, and I know for a fact they touch many hearts.  I’m astonishingly grateful for this.  But they can’t minimize my own issues.  I am constantly on the edge, a step one way or another could push into a desperate fall. (Funny, I’m starting to scare myself.)

I have a deep confidence in Jesus.  I believe that he loves me in the most intense way possible.  I trust in his deliberate and careful love.  Resting in his arms is the very best thing I could do.  He is the only one who can lead me through my mental illness.  Or to give me the grace to move above it.

I do not want to offend or alienate anyone.  That simply is not what I am about.  But I simply can not try to take Brokenbelievers much further in this ‘frame of mind.’  I will try to post as often as I can– but both my therapist and psychiatrist want me to go into a hospital.  I have already been there several times and I do not want to be admitted any time soon.

The next several days should be interesting.  I’m definitely committed to avoiding hospitalization.  The “professionals” I trust are trying to commit me, but I do intend to make a scrap of it.  “I will not go lightly.”

Please try to be patient with me.  I want to post, it runs through my veins.  But I simply don’ t  have the resources that extend into transparency and clarity.  Please forgive me. There’s is no way I can make this work without avoiding a “shutdown.” We will see.

***

kyrie elesion, Bryan

(Lord, have mercy on us.)

cropped-christiangraffiti1 (2)

The Wind

butterfly-2

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
~2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NIV)

The Wind

Your love is a violent wind
Sweeping away my pain and sin

Your grace is a babbling brook
Soothing the chaos within my soul

You warm me when all I feel is cold
When my heart is frozen in dread and fear

Your consuming Spirit draws me near
“Hush My child, for you are Mine”

And like a tiny caterpillar
Released from its cocoon
I fly aloft on Your gentle breeze
I am free as a butterfly

aasignLinda