Category: personal comments

The Scars of Depression

knight

It is a bad habit to try to teach without personal knowledge. We can preach, and yet we do not possess. This is one of the occupational hazards of those of us in our profession. It also seems to carry a horrible curse of spiritual sterility, that the wise believer can discern.

It’s been over 30 years since a diagnosis of severe clinical depression was made. I believe I was BP in my teens. Life is a roller-coaster for me, up and down, with a twist or two along the way. I am now fairly aware at 65 that much of my earthly existence has already been lived. Life can become such a grind. I’m tired and broken and ready for eternity.

But my scars have taught me so much. I understand, and I’m more aware of others. As a teacher, a pastor, it is a very good thing I believe. I also now have a profound desire to step into eternity. That will be a wonderful day. A moment of all moments. The ultimate moment.

“‘One should go to sleep as homesick passengers do, saying, “Perhaps in the morning we shall see the shore.”

–Henry Ward Beecher

Billy Bray was an illiterate Cornish evangelist in the 1850s. He was heard to pray this: “Lord, if any have to die this day, let it be me, for I am ready.” By faith, I think I do understand these sentiments. I am ready to go as well.

I love collecting good quotes. But here’s two more good ones:

“God buries His workmen but carries on His work.”   -Charles Wesley
“If we really think that home is elsewhere and that this life is a “wandering to find a home,” why should we not look forward to the arrival?”  – C.S. Lewis

Sorry if I’m being too maudlin. But the battle is so long, and it doesn’t ever let up, does it? We all can become weary after a while. What we need is to be ‘shut in’ with the Lord. The Word reminds us:

”Strengthening the souls of the disciples, encouraging them to continue in the faith, and saying that through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God”

Acts 14:22

“Tribulations” are common, and each must battle through them. And without being melodramatic, we each must walk through the blazing furnace. But I can also boldly attest that there is more than enough grace for each of us. We just need to become desperate enough. (Which shouldn’t be too hard).

Armor is given. Wearing it means you’ll survive (and thrive) to see another day. Those who may suggest that the Christian life is a “bed of roses,” I would say that they haven’t read Ephesians 6. If there is no war, why would the Holy Spirit tell us to put it on?

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.” 

Ephesians 6:10-11

We are just starting to learn we must fall in love with Jesus. He receives us with a massive kind of love. And His mercy meets us at every doubtful corner. You have His Word on it. Simply ask Him to come to you. 

 

God bless you.

Making Wise Decisions

for-his-glory

The decision to make decisions that will please God is in itself a monumental step.  It means you have come to the place where it matters.  It’s coming to the place where I say “Yes” to all that God says yes to and “No” to everything He has forbidden.  The willingness to be guided is itself a powerful thing.

A fundamental principle to begin with: Every heart has a throne, the question is– who sits on it? 

Step 1:  Putting God First.

In part you have already done this just by your eagerness to do His will.  You  have made a deliberate decision to honor and esteem Him by letting God be completely God.  It is likely that God will withhold His direction if you have no real intention of doing it.  You will just sputter around in the dark. Your life will be painfully empty.

Step 2:  Worship Him willingly.

For me, to commence praise & worship is like firing up the nuclear power plant that I have in my backyard.  It is a source of unlimited energy that I have at my disposal, but it’s not about me at all.  When I start to worship, it must be all about Him.  It’s His character, attributes, love and grace I lift up to be examined by all.

“But the time is coming—indeed it’s here now—when true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth. The Father is looking for those who will worship him that way.”

John 4:23

Step 3:  Read the Word faithfully.

Guidance often comes when we turn to the Bible for light.  Each part or style of my “leather bound Book” is a purposeful and deliberate unveiling of truth.  After 25 years since I became a Christian, the Bible has shown itself over and over to be important.  The Life of David has been rich, and Daniel as well.  I needed to discern the difference between:

  • A moral decision that concerns things that are right & wrong, evil & good.
  • A non-moral decision that directs me in the areas of preference and direction.
  • Reading the Bible provides us with all that we need.

“Your word is a lamp to my feet
       and a light for my path.” 

Psalm 119:105

Step 4:  Seek out the counsel of elders and veteran saints.

The Church has this big ‘brain-trust’ at her disposal whenever she needs it.  There is accumulated wisdom and insight that often is ignored or not even considered.  My life has changed because of my contact with these older saints.  Most of them never really recognized the imprint they were having on me, my marriage, or my ministry.  I realize that I stand on the shoulders of giants, that I only see further because they were willing to raise me higher.  We will fail in decision making if we will not involve our elders.

“Plans fail for lack of counsel,
       but with many advisers they succeed.” 

Prov. 15:22

Step 5:  Prepare yourself to walk by faith.

The scripture is jam-packed with people who had to have faith.  They are everywhere and they are doing everything!  But, all through faith.  I got to thinking about Noah, and his faith.  Directed to construct an ark, which took him years and years.

“It was by faith that Noah built a large boat to save his family from the flood. He obeyed God, who warned him about things that had never happened before.”

  Heb. 11:7

Faith is defined as trusting God to carry out His unseen promises.

 “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.” 

Heb. 11:1

Step 6:  Concentrate on eternal purposes.

I have heard it said, that this life is very short, and only what is done for Christ will last.  I believe this. Matthew also tells us to seek first the kingdom of God, and everything else will be given to you.

It is the kingdom that must be paramount.  The kingdom is carried around in our hearts; it is the place where the King dwells and rules.

These are not just noble and lofty thoughts to be smiled at, humored and regarded as quite quaint.  This is for real, these are concrete realities that we choose. God’s will is not some abstract, it is as specific as the believer wants or needs it to be.

Summary

I honestly believe that you and I can know deep inside us what constitutes a Godly decision.  It very often is on the path of greatest humility.  And when you meet up with humility, you will find faith– and then follows goodness.  And as you accrue these qualities it becomes much easier to make Godly decisions.

Recommended Book

“Decision Making and the Will of God,” by  Garry Friesen, J. Robin Maxson

Rip Tide Lessons

In the late 1990s, my wife Lynn and I were based in a mission station about 200 miles south of Tijuana, Mexico.  We would be working in Baja in the sleepy little village of San Telmo.  It was hard work, but sometimes we would take day trips to a beach on the Pacific Ocean.  One beach in particular, was a favorite place for surfers.

One day we headed out for some sand, surf and sea.  Little did I know that day, that I would almost drown.  Yes, the waves were bigger then usual, but we set up camp and our two children combed the beach, under our watchful eyes.  After a while, I gathered up my ‘boogie board’ and headed for the water.

I had caught several nice waves, and was having a wonderful time. But all of a sudden things got scary.  I was working the waves on the north side of the beach, when suddenly– I lost control.  The current began to pull me away from the shore.  I doubled my paddling efforts, but still I was being pulled out.

I became really afraid.  The beach was getting very small, and I still was being pulled out.  It was at this point, I began to pray.  I had never experienced a rip tide before.  I really wasn’t sure what was happening.

In retrospect, I was being ‘schooled.’  I learned more in 15 minutes of stark terror, then in many months of classroom teaching.

1) I learned that I’m not in control of my life, there are things completely beyond me. I had zero control over what was happening. But often life is like that.

2)  God can take my life whenever He chooses.  He decides when I leave this earthly existence.  “My times are in His hands,” the psalmist declared.

3)  I needed to admit my profound ignorance of many things that are intensely important to know.  These gaps in my knowledge will often take me where I don’t want to go.

4)  Stay on your board!  Cling to it.  You WILL drown if you get separated from it.  You can also use it to rest on when your arms feel like they are going to fall off.

5) And finally start to swim parallel with the beach, NOT toward it!  The current is very likely 30-40 yards wide.  The rising panic will probably keep you focused on the  beach. You cannot overcome a riptide by trying to paddle harder.

6) If you make it through this, the beach is beautiful.  You will be exhausted.  Your friends will not grasp how close you came to drowning.  They have no idea what has just transpired, and you realize you can’t explain what just happened.  But all of a sudden, you have lost all enthusiasm for the board and the waves.

Often it feels like my depression a massive riptide.  To fight it directly is disastrous, and pulls me away. I look back and realize that my experience has given me valuable things, an understanding that nothing can replace.

All about riptides can be found here.

  • aabryscript

The Weakest Link is Us

power-and-weakness

“Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated, common men, they were astonished. And they recognized that they had been with Jesus.”

Acts 4:13

“God created the world out of nothing, and so long as we are nothing, He can make something out of us.”  

—Martin Luther

Consider this: the jawbone of a donkey, a sling shot. and barley loaves, a woman’s tears, a young boy’s lunch, a young colt, and a talking donkey, they all suggest that God touches the common and the insignificant. He uses what we consider of minor importance.

We often turn to the talented and gifted far too readily.

Peter and John are being seen by the Sanhedrin (the Jewish “Supreme Court”). They are to give account of themselves before the highest court of the land. There had been a healing, and there was the matter of preaching as well. Both Peter and John exude a confidence that these religious leaders couldn’t deny. Their perception was that they were ignorant men. Uneducated and common. But, they also knew they had been with Jesus.

However, in the minds of the leadership, they were nothing more than religious white trash.

God loves to use what we consider common. His revealed history has been to take anything at His disposal and utilize it to redeem lost souls. A staff or a sling-shot are used with an adroitness that seems extraordinary among men. The things we think are simple and common are used to further God’s work among mankind.

But the message always returns back to the preachers. The Sanhedrin knew of the disciples preaching. They had absorbed the fact of a miracle; a crippled man had just been healed. (This they couldn’t deny.) But they were troubled. And they didn’t really know what to do.

What more could this be, but a direct intervention of God? And yet, God is working through extremely “common people.” Then let’s look…

“…if we are being examined today concerning a good deed done to a crippled man, by what means this man has been healed,”

Acts 4:9

Within this preaching was woven this healing. The Holy Spirit was ‘rocking their  world.’ The people who came in contact with these disciples would never be the same. Paul tells the Corinthian church that:

“Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful.”

1 Corinthians 1:27, NLT

If God has a specialty it would be this. He desires all the glory. He goes out of the way to use the broken and weak. He shows His strength through insignificant and minor things and people. This is His heart given to nobodies.

“We are all wounded. But wounds are necessary for his healing light to enter into our beings. Without wounds and failure and frustrations and defeats, there will be no opening for his brilliance to trickle in and invade our lives.”
“Failures in life are courses with very high tuition fees, so I don’t cut classes and miss my lessons: on humility, on patience, on hope, on asking others for help, on listening to God, on trying again and again and again.”

Bo Sanchez