Category: sexual abuse

Heart Disease

Hearts 168457_154905807894473_110794108972310_320156_2061498_n“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things,
and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?”

Jeremiah 17:9, NLT

We are the wounded. What exactly has caused it isn’t always known.  A death, divorce, depression and disability are great triggers.  Some of us are chronically ill, others are mentally ill.  We struggle to hold a job, and to go to church. There are some who are reading this who are controlled by addictions.  And a few of us consider suicide on pretty much a regular basis.

We’ve been hospitalized and stigmatized, and sometimes even institutionalized. And at times we endure massive attacks of fear and anxiety.  We are not easily understood, and we hear the whispers.  Our paranoia can often saturate what what we are thinking, (I think its more like a “marinade.”  Our brains just soak it up.)  Most of us are ‘walking wounded.’ We limp physically, and figuratively with equal pain.

“For thus says the LORD: Your hurt is incurable,
    and your wound is grievous.”

Jeremiah 30:12, ESV

If we are honest (and God insists on a rigorous honesty) we realize that we are a mess!  The prophet Jeremiah had a tremendous understanding of the human condition, and was never beguiled by the lie of pride, arrogance and selfishness.  He declares that we are diseased down to the core, like a rotten apple.

At times we continue in our favorite style of darkness.  And havoc sporadically rips through us and we become “disaster areas.”  How very sad, and profoundly tragic.

But you must understand this powerful fact.  Jesus Christ has been sent by the Father to save and cleanse all who come to Him.

“At that time a fountain will be open for David’s descendants and for the people of Jerusalem to cleanse them of their sin and uncleanness.”

Zechariah 13:1, NCV

“Children, it’s time for a bath,” and what God has done provides us the only way to “get better.” Some of us have carried staggering burdens for decades.  But I must be truthful. Our afflictions may continue to disturb us.  If you are bipolar or depressed, it just could be you’ll remain so.  But I know first-hand that our Father will give us an extra ration of grace.

In the Old Testament, family patriarchs could give an additional portion to a son he especially loved.  All were blessed, but some more so. That peculiar proclivity of our Father is why some of us with deep wounds can follow closer than others who are healthy.

“For I am the LORD, your healer.” Ex. 15:26

flourish2

“The treatment a wound gets decides whether time will bring healing or bondage.”

&

ybic, Bryan

kyrie elesion. (Lord, have mercy on each reader)

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Living as a Sexual Abuse Survivor

The problem of childhood sexual abuse is not new. Millions of adults bear the emotional scars, and continue to secretly carry the emotional burden, of abuse that occurred twenty, thirty, or even forty years ago. It is common for clients in their 40’s to come to counseling and say “I have never told this to anyone before…”.

Children are, by nature, innocent, trusting, and vulnerable. When a child is abused, the abuse is NEVER the child’s fault, but children — in an attempt to use their limited understanding of the world to make sense of what has happened to them — almost always believe that they either caused or deserved the abuse. Many of them carry their misguided sense of shame and guilt into adulthood. Many successful, seemingly well-adjusted adults continue to suffer the far-reaching effects of abuse: low self-esteem or lack of confidence, difficulty trusting others, isolation, or alienation, depression, anxiety, anger, chronic relationship problems, difficulty with emotional or physical intimacy, promiscuity, self-injury, alcohol or drug use, or overeating.

A history of childhood sexual abuse does not automatically mean a life full of suffering, however. The extent to which abuse affects an individual varies significantly, depending on the severity of the abuse, the duration of the abuse, and the relational context of the abuse (who the abuser was). Many people who were abused as children struggle with spiritual isses as well as the psychological and emotional ones. They may question how a loving God could allow something like that to happen to a child, may be angry with God for allowing it to happen, or may even believe that God intentionally inflicted the abuse on them as punishment. Part of the healing journey may include looking at these spiritual questions and finding a deeper spiritual understanding of yourself, God, and the world.

Regardless of how childhood abuse has affected your life, you can experience both healing from your past and growth for your future. If you have been silently suffering the pain or shame of past abuse, a confidential relationship with a caring professional counselor can help you find freedom and relief. If painful memories from the past are robbing you of a life of happiness and meaningful relationships, counseling can help you face the past, find healing in the present, and claim abundant life for your future.

Sexual abuse can effect a marriage is so many ways: emotionally, spiritually and sexually. Sexual abuse is traumatic not only for the survivor but also for the survivor’s spouse if he/she doesn’t understand the impact of sexual abuse. I believe sex is a huge part in healing also. Having a healthy sex life after being sexually abused can happen. Separating the abuser from someone who loves you is a part of healing. Un-training yourself from what your abuser taught you is what it takes to make this happen. Your body is just that “your body” and you have the say in what does or doesn’t happen.

My sexual abuse is only part of me, not my whole life anymore. Victims and survivors have to change the way society deals with and handles sexual abuse. The truth shall set you free, the truth of sexual abuse. Once the truth comes out it sets you free of the bondage you have been in for so many years. Stare your sexual abuse straight in the eyes and let it know “you don’t scare me anymore”. It is such an awesome feeling!!

A question to ask oneself is, “Do you see yourself as God sees you?” God sees you as a child He made for a specific purpose and not one of those purpose’s was for any one of His children to be abused in any way, shape, or form. Reach out to Him and let him replace your pain with joy, your shame with sharing, your anger with forgiveness, your ugliness with beauty and your silence with your voice.

Source- New Reflections Counseling:  http://www.newreflectionscounseling.com/

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