despair – Page 4 – Broken Believers

A Downcast Soul

“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”

–Psalm 42:11, NIV

The things that truly tear me apart, will often start by intensifying my gloom and depression. I certainly do avow a limited degree of freedom. But even in the light of this,

1) depression hammers me,
2) dismantles me, and than it
3) devastates me

My own lostness goes on to confuse me, (not to mention it in the lives of my family and friends) and than I slide into further into my darkness. The bottom just falls off, and I go even lower. I become mad. (In the psychological sense of the word.)

But the Father interjects His will on my behalf, and puts me into this critical place by a special grace. I try to rest into this great big sea of a massive love, but I imagine I really don’t belong. In my dark depression, I turn to Him for a greater protection. I understand my proclivity to depression that only sinks me into the darkness of sin. So I reach out, and grab tight.

In olden days, a ship in a overwhelming storm would attempt to lighten its load by throwing its cargo overboard. When we are in this despondency, we often will do this as well. Anything to just survive. We are quite desperate.

My darkness is deep, and it is an intensely viscous evil. It reaches out for me, and it entangles me. You might rightly say that I am lost, but the Father does intervene, and He steps into my blackness, and separates me from it. It may seem a bit melodramatic. But He nevertheless carries me through. And yet I will confess that He has behaved consistently concerning me.

When we have an opportunity we should simply reach out for it. Our foolishness should not disconnect us into a confused place of being. We will step out into this awareness of being made wonderfully complete, and incredibly sure. His presence alters us, and sanctifies us. We change and adjust ourselves. Yet everything that does work into us will bring us to a purpose and significance.

I do return and earnestly seek Him to work in me. Unless He does, I will be irrevocably lost. I turn to Him, and so I must admit I am bold in this. I say desperately, ‘Please Jesus, save me.’ I will only turn, and be very bold, entering into His salvation. “Please save me dear Savior, and launch me into the world of salvation. Give me a deep understanding of your deliverance. Jesus, I surrender to your work.” And in all the areas I surrender, He meets me and brings me to the place of rest.

“So our hope is in the Lord.
He is our help, our shield to protect us.”

–Psalm 33:20, NCV

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What people don’t get about depression (blondemag.ca)
When You Can’t Find an Exit: Psalm 88 (brokenbelievers.com)
Me Beat Depression? Yes – You Can! (mikejonesbooks.wordpress.com)
Forgive me, God, I’m depressed. (lesliealamb.com)
What people don’t get about depression (cherished79.wordpress.com)

Book Review: “When the Darkness Will Not Lift”

There are Christians for whom joy seems unattainable.

What will we tell them . . . “When the Darkness Will Not Lift?”

…………………………………………………………

“It is utterly crucial that in our darkness we affirm the wise, strong hand of God to hold us, even when we have no strength to hold him.”

–John Piper

The title of this reviewed book is terribly unyielding, but with a quick glimpse into its contents, and you realize what you hold in your hands is worth its weight in gold. “When the Darkness Will Not Lift: Doing What We Can While We Wait for God—And Joy“, John Piper gives guidance and hope to suffering believers and to those whom God has given to walk beside them. The father of Christian hedonism reminds readers that joy is a duty even as he teaches them how to fight for it. At eighty pages, this slim volume commends itself to readers who, struggling under the weight of spiritual darkness, might be daunted by an exhaustive treatment of the subject.

Because the book starts from despair, it is a uniquely accessible tool for those who hurt. In the pastoral tone for which he is beloved, Piper shows that joy begins with despair in oneself. In “When the Darkness Will Not Lift”, Piper tackles difficult issues including:

• The physical nature of depression and the role of medication

• How to wait on the Lord through darkness

• The relationship between obedience and thanksgiving

• How unconfessed sin can clog our joy

Piper also provides insight for those who love depressed Christians—showing them how to exhort without crushing, and how they can help the struggling believer to distrust the “certainties of despair.”

When the Darkness Will Not Lift: Doing What We Can While We Wait for God—And Joy Publisher Crossway Books, Author John Piper, ISBN 1581348762 Price $7.99, Released, January 2007

Available through your Bookstore, or just go to www.Amazon.com, like me.

John Piper’s website, http://www.desiringgod.org/

What is Christian Hedonism? (lifechngr.com)

The Future is According to God

“I say this because I know what I am planning for you,” says the Lord. “I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future. “

Jeremiah 29:11, NCV

“So that for all future time he could show the very great riches of his grace by being kind to us in Christ Jesus.”

Ephesians 2:7

The word “future” is defined as “all that time which is to come hereafter.” It seems that it can never be held by us in a literal sense. In trying to explain it, I have come up with this idea or concept of something that will exist or happen in time to come.

People who struggle with a mental illness often have a problem with the idea of having a personal meaning. I remember reading this somewhere, “Depression is the inability to construct a future.” I think that many have issues with trying to make life work. It seems that hopefulness has been brutally cut out of our hearts, and we think and believe that we’re lost and cursed.

It seems to me that this is one of my own problems. Closely related are the twin issues of cruel despondency and a terrible despair. When these two run rampant through my life it is sort of a “spiritual mugging.” I’ve just been totally ripped off. I’ve been completely drained of hope. I don’t anticipate life and grace, instead I have profound pain and incredible loss. I feel terribly alone in an ugly void. My depression is all I can see. A relationship with an eternal God seems highly unlikely.

I believe that it isn’t so much me reaching out to Him— rather it is Him coming to me.

The promises God gives us are made to energize and propel us into life and meaning. The Father completely understands me, and has purposefully given me “a future and a hope.” I once worked out a plan to kill myself a couple years ago. It involved duct-taping heavy weights to my ankles and jumping off the dock in the harbor. I had reached the point of complete despair. Everything was without hope. And all I will say is that God prevented me and then gave me hope.

At times, our future is sometimes woven with predominently dark threads. If we just look at the back side it makes no sense at all. But God works patiently and expertly, as a skilled Artisan. We have His word that what He does will be a wonder and a marvel. And we will see an intricate and beautful work.

“Father forgive me for despairing. I know You control everything, and especially all that concerns me. Give me hope for my future.”

When Everything You’ve Hoped for is Lost – Lamentations 3:18-26 (dianneguthmuller.com)
Losers Get Loved More Gently (brokenbelievers.com)

The Melancholy of Edvard Munch

December 2, 1863 – January 23, 1944, he was a Norwegian painter. He is regarded as a Symbolist and a forerunner of expressionism. He focused on themes of fear, anxiety, melancholy, and death. He did not believe in heaven, or other Christian themes or doctrines, as far as I know.

My intention is to reintroduce you to an artist that I highly esteem. The challenge I suppose is to understand the issues that Munch discovers in his work. He clearly taps into the ‘angst’ of the modern man, and what he does perpetuates a mindset for our generation.

Obviously these paintings are just an introduction, and I understand that they are selective. I have refrained from any kind of interpretation, other than laying down a general principle– to Munch, color is everything.

Munch was probably not a cheery person. He essentially was driven by anxiety through his whole life. It seems that he could be very ambitious. His classic work was “The Scream” which he made several versions to sell. He used different mediums to do this– tempera, lithograph and pastel. Interestingly, “The Scream” is a favorite target for art thefts. It captures the minds of every modern thinker.

Within our culture, “The Scream” is iconic. Warhol, Gary Larson, Dr. Who and even “The Simpsons” have cashed in on a parody of it.

Quotes

“I painted the picture, and in the colors the rhythm of the music quivers. I painted the colors I saw.”

“Painting picture by picture, I followed the impressions my eye took in at heightened moments. I painted only memories, adding nothing, no details that I did not see. Hence the simplicity of the paintings, their emptiness.”

“For as long as I can remember I have suffered from a deep feeling of anxiety which I have tried to express in my art.”

“Disease, insanity, and death were the angels that attended my cradle, and since then have followed me throughout my life.”