Tag: discipleship

Understanding Bread

I have learned a lot about my Christian walk in the last few years.  Most of it has been gathered from ordinary life experiences.  Like working on a farm, hanging wallpaper, driving too fast in a cornfield (!).  If I set long enough I can list 100 more, each with a lesson or two.

Been thinking about baking bread though.  The flour, and water, and yeast are combined and mixed (kneaded).  It takes some patience and timing.  Experience is really helpful.  My Great-grandma made the best bread in Northern Wisconsin.  (As a little kid, I got a slice of bread soaked in cow’s milk for a tasty snack.)

After I grew up, got married and moved to my cabin in Alaska.  I decided I would show off my bread-making prowess to my young wife.  I floured the table and set myself to making “Grandma’s bread”.  I was going to be the star, hotshot baker!

As I worked the dough something just didn’t feel right.  I surmised that I didn’t have enough flour–it just wouldn’t come together.  I kneaded the dough for quite sometime, while I racked my brain trying to fix the out-of-control mess on the table.  I was getting embarrassed.  It was taking far too long, and the texture was all wrong.

I was getting very irritated at this growing mess. It was then my brave wife graciously pointed out that perhaps it was because I was not using white flour like I thought, but powdered sugar!  See, we had just moved in, and she had been wanting to label the canisters but hadn’t got around to it.

I took the lump outside and buried it in the yard.  It’s been over 20 years but I’ve been told that grass still doesn’t grow there!  The funny thing was I thought I was making bread, but I guess what I really was making was humility. (I keep having to learn this).

When you make bread, you need clean ingredients; pure flour and good water.  If you just came in from the barn you should wash your hands–throughly.  Whatever you mix in, stays in.  (My mom would get a little crazy and throw in raisins or nuts, which I hated.)

You do not sweep the floor and add it to dough, nor do you add chalk or anything that may look like flour.  In the same way, you and I make spiritual bread.  It  takes experience and good and wholesome ingredients.  It takes patience.  You can’t accelerate the process of baking bread.

I hope you can see my point.  We try to mix up a fresh batch of our discipleship everyday. The table is our hearts–it must be clean.  We add the flour and the yeast.  We only use clean water, purity must be maintained.

I’ve been struggling with some things in my discipleship.  I haven’t been too picky about many things.  Purity of heart and mind are areas of compromise.  As a result, I have not been pleased with the outcome.  I am embarrassed by the quality of what I serve up to my guests.

I believe there is nothing as tasty and fresh bread from the oven, served up with homemade jam!  Man, that is good.  Maybe, I’ll make up some bread.

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A Statement of Dedicated Ministry

My calling is sure.  My challenge is big.  My vision is clear.  My desire is strong. My influence is eternal.  My impact is critical.  My values are solid.  My faith is tough.  My mission is urgent. My purpose is unmistakable. My direction is forward.  My heart is genuine.  My strength is supernatural.  My reward is promised.  And my God is real. ”

“I refuse to be dismayed, disengaged, disgruntled, discouraged, or distracted.  Neither will I look back, stand back, fall back, go back or sit back.  I do not need applause, flattery, adulation, prestige, stature or veneration.  I have no time for business as usual, mediocre standards, small thinking, normal expectations, average results, ordinary ideas, petty disputes or low vision.  I will not give up, give in, bail out, lie down, turn over, quit or surrender.  I’m dedicated to doing the work of the ministry. God help me.”

 There is such a thing as a “Seal of Good Housekeeping” that is given as a mark of approval.  As I read the above quotation, I thought of all the men and women that could make this declaration.  So many that we could approve of and to put a definitive seal of Kingdom approval on. 

I have friends in ministry in Mexico, India, China, Italy, Peru, Kazakhstan, San Francisco and so many other places.  They stand boldly and minister lovingly.  We must pray for them, all the time.  People like you and me who suffer with a mental illness are poor candidates for this level of intense ministry.  But we make great prayer warriors!

As we pray, standing in the gap for others, often we will experience a release from our own issues.  They just melt away.  I focus on you, and I won’t hurt as much.  I have to reach out, so God can reach in. This is what Jesus intends for me as His disciple; “in training.”

Welcoming His Judgement

To be judged by God is an awful thing.  It is always immutable and just.  He brings to us the inevitable awareness of the guilt and rebellion that we have secretly harbored for years.  We try to dodge His correction like a boxer does to the punches of his opponent.

We see judgement with a distinct clarity; as if it was to be avoided like the plague.  We fear Him, but like an eccentric guest at our special dinner party.  He is unpredictable, and sometimes will pull out the table cloth, in spite of the plates and dishes.  He does amazing tricks, but to us He seems a bit capricious and not at all in control of Himself.  We really don’t trust Him. Not really, anyway.

But the judgement of God is never punishment.  It is always corrective however, with a desire for us to find good and health in its presence.  We can contaminate our hearts with a wrong perspective.  But He is love, and our sin and iniquity won’t change that about Him.

He loves us so much, that He is obligated to correct us.  Some here have had great Dads.  The were active in our lives.  They were not perfect, but it didn’t matter; Dad loved us and that was all we needed.  Everything God does, comes out of this matrix of love.  When we truly grasp how much someone loves us, we can open up to anything they might say.

He does correct us, which can be harsh and difficult.  But God carefully weighs out the situation, just like a druggist weighs out to the milligram of the medicine we need.  He does discern, and gives no one more then they need.  He is definitely aware, and has no desire to destroy us.  Quite the opposite.

When we are judged for a particular sin or iniquity, we will know it.  But within that correction we will find no darkness or maliciousness.  Within our Father, there is nothing that would suggest evil or a desire to inflict pain.  He most definitely is not a sadist.  When we are corrected, we need to accept it, and receive it.  At the bottom of this, we will find that there is nothing but love.

Lonely, or Just Alone?

“Loneliness was the first thing that God saw that was not good”

John Milton

Are you lonely? It really doesn’t matter if you are married or single. Frankly, those who have a spouse can be powerfully affected by a sense of loneliness. (They obviously are pressured to suppress this.) But they truly feel very much alone.

When we find ourselves affected by this issue, we think a lot about being alone. We become an ‘island,’ isolated and separate, and the intense figure of this is the ‘castaway’ of those who, somehow end up completely alone on a deserted beach. 

There is nothing ‘romantic’ or ideal about this experience.

After a week, we start to feel the isolation. It creeps in on us, expands, and begins to ‘feed’ on our perceptions. And that can poison us.

To define it, to be lonely is the absence of human relationships. But to be alone is to be without connections.  They can overlap sometimes, but they are very separate issues. The unmarried 40-year-old could be free from loneliness, and the person who is married (with several kids) feels quite lonely.

We cannot attribute our ‘heart issues’ to our response to isolation.

Some will thrive, and others chafe. Many derive a sense of well-being by becoming married. Essentially they choose the fallacy that this may just solve their feeling of loneliness.  If I cut my hand, a band-aid will not heal the wound, it can only help (on a superficial level,) but the healing comes from within us.

There is a definite need to see the unique situation and understand how it does fluctuate. Things will move and our attitudes may change. We can cross back and forth, and that is quite understandable. But embedded sadness over being alone can be disastrous to a full and amazing life with Jesus.

“And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever.”

John 14:16, NASB.

We certainly need each other. That is ‘how we roll.’ But what is necessary and for certain is, “We are not alone, never.” The deep presence of Jesus can be profoundly close, and all we need is His nearness and our awareness, and it’s going to be ok.

There is so much we can do.

The first is to get real about the issues that are involved.  Go ahead and acknowledge the struggle you encountering.  Secondly, we need to admit the sin of harboring this, and even letting it to take control of our thinking. Thirdly, to actively turn away from sin, and then focus on Jesus as our dear companion and friend.

These three are just focal points. They will often take very different adjustments for each person. But they are definitely a starting point. Even as you work through this, allow the Holy Spirit to be your faithful guide.