Funnies: Am I Overprotective?

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

Print out and submit as per instructions at the bottom of the form.

 

1. Name :______________________ Date of Birth :______________

2. Height :___________________________

Weight :_______________________ GPA :________________

3. Social Sec. #_________________  Drivers

license#_____________________

4. Boy Scout Rank :__________________________

5. Home address :_______________________ City/ State_____________

6. Do you have one male and one female parent ? Yes _______ No _______

7. If no, explain :______________________________________________

8. Number of years parents married :_____________________________

9. Do you own a van ?______ A truck with oversized tires ?____

A water bed ?_______

10. Do you have an earring , nose ring , belly-button ring ?______ A tattoo ?_______

(If yes to any of #9 or #10, Discontinue application and leave premises …)

11. In ten words or less, what does LATE mean to you ?

___________________________________________

12. In ten words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you ?

______________________________________

13. In ten words or less, what does DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?

___________________________________________________

14. Church you attend :__________________ How often you attend :_____

15. When would be the best time to interview your Father, Mother, And Pastor ?

___________________

16. What would you want to be IF you grew up ?

_______________________________________________

 

Answer by filling in the blanks. Please answer freely – all answers are confidential  (that I won’t tell anyone – ever- I promise).

If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is in the

__________________________

If I were beaten the last bone I would want broken is my

________________________________________

The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is

___________________________________

When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first

is_______________________________________

 

(Note: If answer begins with T or A, discontinue and leave premises: Keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised. )

I SWEAR THAT THE INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF: NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, DEATH, AND DISMEMBERMENT.

Signature (that means your name, moron)

______________________________________________________

Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not attempt to call or write. If your application is rejected you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white coats and carrying a violin case.

APPLICANT’S RIGHT THUMB PRINT IN BLOOD

 

 

Five of the Greatest Sites Ever *

 
 
“The Teacher sought to find just the right words  to express truths clearly.”  Eccl. 12:10, NLT

 

I came across these and wanted very much to share them with anyone interested in some extracurricular reading.  I have hand-picked these out of hundreds of possible posts.  I know these will be a blessing.

There is somewhat of a mixture here.  Some will be links to articles on mental illness, and others on Christian discipleship.  And maybe, this might become a regular feature here on BB. (Who knows what lurks in my brain? lol)  But what you find below, may be an incredibly rich blessing for you.

 

I.  Lithium, “The Metal Marvel” 

Discover Magazine has always been a good source of fascinating insight.  Lithium for 50 years has been the most effective treatment for bipolar disorder.

http://discovermagazine.com/2010/the-brain-2/27-metal-marvel-mended-brains-50-years-lithium

II.  The Best Online Bible, Ever

An exceptional site that I use daily.  (It’s like a carpenter’s favorite hammer.) Almost 30 translations, search topics or themes.  It is fresh and modern.  I use it whenever I need to “cut & paste” a passage into a post.  I’ve tried many and yet, this remains the best.

http://www.biblegateway.com/

III.  Intelligence Linked to Bipolar Disorder

Research has indicated that bipolar disorder may be up to four times more common in young people who were straight-A students. A link between high IQ and bipolar disorder has been proposed for many years.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2010/intelligence-linked-to-bipolar-disorder/

IV.  259,731 Bible Questions Answered!

 Got Questions?  A solid and comprehensive place for anyone to sort things out.  It’s easy to navigate.  It is a “safe” place to think out loud about hard things.  Do you have a question about God, Jesus, the Bible, or theology?   Have you ever needed help understanding a Bible verse or passage?  Are there any spiritual issues in your life for which you need advice or counsel?



V.  Alltop Bipolar Links

Alltop is essentially a news aggregator— they supply a one page site of continuously updated links, on a topical base.  They do a lot of broad subjects (I haven’t used it, except for BP news.)  I don’t consult it often, but when I do it is almost always great. ( Alltop has started showing Broken Believer posts, yeah!!)

http://bipolar.alltop.com/

 ************

* In my humble opinion, as of this moment, on this particular day, and is subject to change without warning

Thirty Thousand Hits!

I can hardly believe it, we’ve had 30,ooo distinct hits in about 15 months.  I’m ecstatic that we have been there for so many seekers.  Thanks for supporting this work, the Lord is using you. But I encourage you to pray, that this would be a work of the Holy Spirit, otherwise, in my mind we should shut it all down, and move on.  I want to please Him who gave everything up for me.  I believe that is what you want as well!

2010 Links, Favorites

Below you will find internet links.  I have gathered these up, finding them useful, entertaining and a blessing.  Some of these are mental illness links, others quote links.  Some are quite general, and others much more specific.  There are also a few Bible study aids, and these are quite valuable as ‘good ones’ are hard to find.

I am sorry that they are just laid out like this, but to categorize them would be difficult.  My apologies.  I realize that this pretty raw, but I hope you’ll be able to ‘mine’ something out of them.  I skimmed through and left a comment on some the url’s.  Handling some of these may require some patience.

***

 

http://www.biblegateway.com/, perhaps the best Bible/versions

http://www.thegracetabernacle.org/quotes/gracequotes.html

http://bipolar.alltop.com/

http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=about_publications

http://newstracts.org/christiansites.html, great collection

http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/imonk-101-when-i-am-weak-why-we-must-embrace-our-brokenness-and-never-be-good-christians, the Monk is always good, this is one of my personal favs

http://www.gotquestions.org/, hundreds of questions, good site

http://www.moodyradio.org/brd_AudioMin.aspx?id=13144, interesting, and Moody as a rule is solid

http://www.preceptaustin.org/, good site, but take your time with it.

http://net.bible.org/home.php

http://www.roundtripmissions.com/, planning STM trip?

http://www.soulshepherding.org/, very good with strong discipleship msg.

http://christian-quotes.ochristian.com/

http://hub.webring.org/hub/quotations

http://www.pietyhilldesign.com/gcq/index.html, quotes

http://coolquotescollection.com/

http://www.blogigo.com/discernment/Discipleship-quotes/32/

http://www.goodquotes.com/

http://wholelifeliving.ning.com/, seems good, haven’t spent time with it

http://crossquotes.org/, my own quote site, small but intense

http://www.tentmaker.org/Quotes/quotesindex.htm

http://www.thetravelingteam.org/node/196

http://www.christianquotes.org/

http://mentalhealthministries.net/links_resources/other_resources.html

http://www.canadianchristianity.com/christianliving/070809ill.html, great site

http://www.aesham.com/murphy.html, whatever, Murphy’s Laws rehashed

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/6ezJa9/www.energyfiend.com/death-by-caffeine/, funny

http://aceonlineschools.com/25-awesome-virtual-learning-experiences-online/, this is very interesting

http://popurls.com/, new edition everyday, smart

http://www.biblesearchengine.com/, looks really useful

http://www.fracturedsaints.com/, blog similar to BB, but different

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/9LspdV/www.rense.com/general72/size.htm, sort stumbleupon out and you won’t regret it.

http://www.ukapologetics.net/08/BCL.htm, pretty solid

http://walk-this-way.com/

http://www.christianstories.com/categories/funnychristian.html, funny

http://www.godtube.com/, Christian youtube

http://lifestream.org/blog/

http://www.beliefnet.com/Faiths/Christianity/2006/02/Whats-A-Red-Letter-Christian.aspx, one of my favs

http://alaskabible.org/, My Bible school, a great place to learn

http://www.biologos.org/, science and faith dialogue, stretching

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/, online Christian magazine, cutting edge articles