Broken Believers

The Awful Pain of Job

“Oh, why give light to those in misery,
and life to those who are bitter?
²¹They long for death, and it won’t come.
They search for death more eagerly than for hidden treasure.²²They’re filled with joy when they finally die, and rejoice when they find the grave.

²³Why is life given to those with no future,
those God has surrounded with difficulties?”

Job 3:20-23, NLT

Job begins to curse his very existence. Life has become far too brutal. He has lost everything. At this point Job is completely undone.

There is an endless grief that even his tears can’t help.

In Job’s first speech he asks some basic questions:

Why is light given to those who are full of pain?
Why does life unfold to the one who rather not live anymore?

There is a powerful wish or desire in this three verses. He wants to die, and end the charade. He wishes for non-existence and laments that he can not die fast enough. His terrible pain has taken his life.

People with disabilities and chronic pain can understand Job’s welcome craving for any sort of release. Once they were “whole” people. Death was something to be avoided at all costs. But now it is seen as an escape.

Job simply wants out.

Hurting people will often turn to drinking and drugging as a way of coping. We’ll try anything to numb our thinking. It’s what gets us through the day. We are bitter, and we are lost.

For Job (the patron saint of pain) finds that nothing will fix him. His friends have come, but they seem to only accuse and confuse job. Honestly he is better when they just sat with him in silence. If you read the book of Job you will understand.

“God wants us to choose to love him freely, even when that choice involves pain, because we are committed to him, not to our own good feelings and rewards. He wants us to cleave to him, as Job did, even when we have every reason to deny him hotly.”

–Philip Yancey

“Come quickly, Lord, and answer me, for my depression deepens. Don’t turn away from me, or I will die. Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you.”

Psalm 143:7-8

ybic, Bryan

What Not to Say to a Depressed Person

by Therese J Brochard

I’m always on the lookout for articles that touch on ways to communicate to a friend or family member who is depressed. It’s a delicate issue and one that deserves some serious attention. What follows is what you should, and should not say to a loved one struggling with depression. — Bryan

Nearly 21 million adults in the United States experience clinical depression (aka major depressive disorder) every year.

Odds are someone close to you is among them.

1. Snap out of it!

Your loved one hasn’t left the house in what seems like days. Should you tell him to pull himself up by his bootstraps and just snap out of it?

Don’t say it.

You may be tempted to tell someone who’s depressed to stop moping around and just shake it off. But depression is not something patients can turn on and off, and they’re not able to respond to such pleas. Instead, tell your loved one that you’re available to help them in any way you can.

2. What do you have to be depressed about?

In a world full of wars, hunger, poverty, abuse, and other ills, you may feel impatient when someone you love feels depressed. So do you remind him how lucky he is?

Don’t say it.

You can’t argue someone out of feeling depressed, but you can help by acknowledging that you’re aware of his pain. Try saying something like “I’m sorry that you’re feeling so bad.”

3. Why don’t you go for a nice walk?

Exercise is a known way to lift your mood. Is it a good idea to suggest that your loved one with depression go out and enjoy some fresh air and activity?

Say it — but with a caveat.

By definition, depression keeps you from wanting to engage in everyday activities. But you can show your support by offering to take a walk, go to a movie, or do some other activity with your loved one. How about: “I know you don’t feel like going out, but let’s go together.”

4. It’s all in your head.

Some people believe that depression is an imaginary disease and that it’s possible to think yourself into feeling depressed and down. Should you tell your loved one that depression is just a state of mind — and if she really wanted to, she could lift her mood with positive thoughts?

Don’t say it.

Suggesting that depression is imagined is neither constructive nor accurate. Although depression can’t be “seen” from the outside, it is a real medical condition and can’t be thought or wished away. Try saying instead: “I know that you have a real illness that’s causing you to feel this way.”

5. Seeing a therapist is probably a good idea.

You think your loved one could benefit from talking to a mental health professional. Should you say so?

Say it. And say it again.

Reinforcing the benefits of treatment is important. Encourage the idea of getting professional help if that step hasn’t yet been taken. This is especially important if your loved one has withdrawn so much that she is not saying anything. Try telling her, “You will get better with the right help.” Suggest alternatives if you don’t see any improvement from the initial treatment in about six to eight weeks.

For other suggestions on what to say and what not to say, check out Everyday Health’s post.

Also, see Psych Central’s our list of the worst things to say to someone who’s depressed.

****

Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, “Beyond Blue,” on Beliefnet.com.

His Oil, Your Head

Back by Popular Demand

I have to admit, I always wondered what this verse in Psalm 23 meant. I thought “He anoints my head with oil” was a nice poetic phrase for God blessing David. But as I delved deeper into the context and explored different interpretations, a beautiful and profound meaning unfolded before my eyes.

First of all the act of anointing with oil holds significant cultural and spiritual symbolism in biblical times. It was a practice to anoint guests as a sign of honor and welcome, especially in lavish feasts and celebrations.

Anointing with oil also had medicinal purposes, as it could soothe and heal various ailments. (Now that’s interesting, I thought.)

In the context of Psalm 23, the phrase “He anoints my head with oil” takes on a deeper metaphorical meaning. It signifies God’s abundant blessings, His provision, and His care for His people. Just as a host anoints the head of a guest as an act of honor and hospitality, God lovingly anoints us with blessings and favor.

Moreover, the act of anointing with oil has spiritual connotations. In ancient religious rituals, anointing with oil was a sign of consecration, setting apart someone or something for a holy purpose.

This verse also portrays a practical picture of medicinal shepherding.

In biblical times, shepherds used oil to treat and protect the sheep’s wounds and keep insects away from their heads. By anointing our heads with oil, God brings healing and comfort to our brokenness, soothing our hurts and protecting us from the turmoil of life.

Sheep often can do harmful things to themselves as they try to find relief from flies and ticks.

Their ears and eyes can be targets for tormenting insects as well.

Sheep have been known to bash their heads against rock walls to dislodge flies from their ears, noses, and eyes. A good shepherd watches closely over his flock. He watches over them carefully.

A good shepherd knows that poured out oil forms a barrier of protection against these things that would try to destroy the sheep.

Have you ever asked God to anoint your head with oil?

Psalm 23 as a whole beautifully paints a picture of God as our loving and caring Shepherd, guiding us, providing for us, and protecting us. The imagery of anointing with oil further illuminates the depth of His love and the extent of His care. It reminds us that we are chosen and cherished by God, and that His blessings are abundant and unending.

But ask yourself these questions. Do you have times of mental torment? Do the worrisome thoughts invade your mind over and over? Do you beat your head against a wall trying to stop them?

The Holy Spirit can come with His endless supply of oil!

“You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.”

Psalm 23:5, ESV

God Really Wants to Forgive You

“But neither of them could repay him, so he kindly forgave them both, canceling their debts.”

Luke 7:42

When you are in debt, whether $50 or $50,000 there’s that anxiety of being in slavery to the lender. And yet when we begin to line up the spiritual with the physical we learn that we are all in debt. We all owe more than we have. Most of us realize this, and many just “turn off the spiritual apparatus” that seems to keep harping on this, and then we tell ourselves repeatedly that it really isn’t true.

But all of us are in debt.

Of course not everyone is the same, we have different sins. Some have lived a deliberately dark, prodigal life (as in “drugs, sex and rock-n-roll”). Others, embracing a strained moralism of some kind, have apparently sinned less (think choir boys, or “Snow White”). But no matter, for “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23)

And “all” means all. “Fallen” means a complete collapse.

In this parable, Jesus adroitly tells the story of two men who were indebted to a very rich man. One owed a relatively small amount, but yet it was significant enough for this man to worry and to hope maybe for some mercy. He knew that he owed, and knew he lacked the means to pay what was required.

The second man owed far more, many times beyond the first man. This guy was very deep in debt. The modern equivalent was close to $500,000, and in ancient times this would have been a staggering amount of money. But he too held out for mercy; and hoped for the forgiveness of his debt (stranger things have happened).

The astonishing thing is that the rich man completely and unreservedly forgave both.

Kindness alone was what moved the Lender. These two men would be released without any conditions, liens, or liabilities. They walked into the room expecting imprisonment, and they walked out with all their debts forgiven. Plain and simple. The amazing fact for you and I is this– we have been released from the ponderous weight of our sins, and yet we are really confused. Our sins have been taken from us and we bear them no more! The guilt of our transgressions has been cut away from our souls.

What Jesus did, dying on that cross, not for His sin, but for mine, ours and theirs, allows even the most nasty and vile of us to walk out scot-free.

Some who read this have committed spectacular sins.

You have piled up more sin and evil than others around you. But no matter, it’s all forgiven. It’s time to believe this, repent and then take your pardon and walk out into the bright sunshine as a free man or woman. There is no record of your sins, you can scour heaven and earth looking for it, and yet there is no evidence it ever existed.

Broken Believers