Messy Spirituality– Mike Yaconelli

Brokenness never means uselessness

“Messy Spirituality:” A Book Excerpt by Mike Yaconelli

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a godly person. Yet when I look at the yesterdays of my life, what I see, mostly, is a broken, irregular path littered with mistakes and failure. I have had temporary successes and isolated moments of closeness to God, but I long for the continuing presence of Jesus.

Most of the moments of my life seem hopelessly tangled in a web of obligations and distractions. I want to be a good person. I don’t want to fail. I want to learn from my mistakes, rid myself of distractions, and run into the arms of Jesus. Most of the time, however, I feel like I am running away from Jesus into the arms of my own clutteredness. I want desperately to know God better. I want to be consistent. Right now the only consistency in my life is my inconsistency. Who I want to be and who I am are not very close together. I am not doing well at the ‘living-a-consistent-life’ thing.

I don’t want to be St. John of the Cross or Billy Graham. I just want to be remembered as a person who loved God, who served others more than he served himself, who was trying to grow in maturity and stability. I want to have more victories than defeats, yet here I am, almost 60, and I fail on a regular basis.

If I were to die today, I would be nervous about what people would say at my funeral. I would be happy if they said things like “He was a nice guy” or “He was occasionally decent” or “Mike wasn’t as bad as a lot of people. ”Unfortunately, eulogies are delivered by people who know the deceased. I know what the consensus would be.“Mike was a mess.”

You might say Christianity has a tradition of messy spirituality. Messy prophets, messy kings, messy disciples, messy apostles. From God’s people getting in one mess after another in the Old Testament to most of the New Testament’s being written to straighten out messes in the church, the Bible presents a glorious story of a very messy faith. Sounds like you and I are in good company.

A few years ago, I was introduced to a group of uncouth Christians who call themselves “the Notorious Sinners.”  These are men from all walks of life who meet once a year to openly share their messy spirituality with each other. The title ‘Notorious Sinners’ refers to the scandalous category of forgiven sinners whose reputations and ongoing flaws didn’t seem to keep Jesus away.

In fact, Jesus had a habit of collecting disreputables; he called them disciples. He still does. I like people who openly admit their ‘notoriousness’—people who unabashedly confess they are hopelessly flawed and hopelessly forgiven. Graciously, these men invited me to be a part of their group. The ‘Notorious Sinners’ meet yearly at spiritual-retreat centers, where from the moment we arrive, we find ourselves in trouble with the centers’ leadership.

We don’t act like most contemplatives who come to spiritual-retreat centers— reserved, quiet, silently seeking the voice of God. We’re a different kind of contemplative— earthy, boisterous, noisy, and rowdy, tromping around our souls, seeking God, hanging out with a rambunctious Jesus who is looking for a good time in our hearts.

A number of us smoke cigars, about half are recovering alcoholics, and a couple of the men could embarrass a sailor with their language. Two of the ‘Notorious Sinners’ show up on their Harleys, complete with leather pants and leather jackets. I admit I run with a rough crowd—Christians whose discipleship is blatantly real and carelessly passionate, characterized by a brazen godliness. Unafraid to admit their flaws, unintimidated by Christians who deny their own messiness, these guys sometimes look like pagans and other times look like Jesus.

They are spiritual troublemakers, really, which is why they look like Jesus (who was always causing trouble himself ). They are full of mischief, laughter, and boisterous behavior, which is why they look like pagans. Truly messy disciples. The ‘Notorious Sinners’ are definitely a bizarre mix of the good, the bad, and the ugly, living a spirituality which defies simple definitions.

Oh, and they are some of the most spiritual men I know.”

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Messy Spirituality [Book] by Michael Yaconelli, Karla Yaconelli in Books

$6 online

By Michael Yaconelli, Mike Yaconelli, Karla Yaconelli – Zondervan (2007) – Paperback -192 pages-ISBN 0310277302

I Guess I’m Not a Very Good Christian . . . Do you feel like: I don’t pray enough I don’t read my Bible enough I don’t share my faith enough I don’t love God enough I’m not committed enough I’m not spiritual enough Then this book is for you.

Messy Spirituality was written for the silent majority of us who have been convinced that we just don’t do Christianity right. We spend most of our lives worried about what we don’t do instead of what we have done, focused on our imperfections instead of God’s fondness for the imperfect. Why?

Because we’ve been bombarded with books, tapes, talks, seminars, and movies convincing us that real Christianity is all about perfection. Michael Yaconelli dares to suggest that imperfection, infiniteness, and messiness are, in fact, the earmarks of true Christianity; that real Christianity is messy, erratic, lopsided . . . and gloriously liberating.

What if genuine faith begins with admitting we will never have our act completely together? Maybe messy disciples are exactly the kind of imperfect people Jesus came to earth for and whose company he actually enjoyed–and still enjoys.

If you want to find Jesus today, look for him in the midst of burned-out believers, moral misfits, religious incompetents . . . men and women whose lives are, well, messy.

Messy Spirituality is a strong antidote for the spiritual perfectionism in us all. Here are truths that can cut you loose from the tyranny of ought-to’s and open your eyes to the deep spirituality of being loved, shortcomings and all, by the God who meets you and transforms you in the midst of a messy and unpredictable life.

 PDF File can be found at http://mikeyaconelli.com/yaconelli/words/SelectedYac.pdf

Affliction Understood, [Daily Pain]

The 2009 Pulitzer Prize Winner

There is the unquestionable presence of affliction that is present in our lives.  Affliction is the general term for specific instances of trials, tribulations, persecutions, emotional or physical pain and suffering.

The ancient Assyrians used the word for “affliction” as the same word to describe their method of a public execution, which involved being impaled to the ground.  Rocks were gradually piled high until the victim expired.  The combination of being impaled and the rocks piled on you was quite devastating.

And you know what?  That is a terribly specific concept of what afflictions feel like.  Just ask someone, it is exceedingly terrible to be in pain and feel ‘buried’ at the same time.  There is a feeling of suffocating in suffering.  Some have described it, like being ‘hit with a 2×4’. You have just been completely blindsided.

In the letters from the Early Church there was a patentability, or openness when it came to persecution and pain.  The writers of the New Testament operated out of a profound awareness of the pain of the believers of their day.

  • “We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it.”   2 Cor. 1:8
  • “We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair.”  2 Cor. 4:8
  •  “You have greatly encouraged me and made me happy despite all our troubles.”   2 Cor. 7:4

‘The Ostrich Effect’ in Affliction

One of the most extensive arguments concerning ‘affliction’ develops around the nature of the atonement.  The thought is that Jesus died and rose to bless me.  Sin and sickness, poverty or lack are not part of God’s plan for the redeemed.

Now, it is possible to refute this in this little post.  But I will try to nudge you a bit to examine the issues of the Early Church.  Know however that there are many people who will follow the ostrich’s example and bury their heads to avoid reality of affliction.  But, I can understand this impulse– this desire to honor God, even if we “play word games” with our faith.

I also know first-hand that the struggles are hard.  Wrestling with them is a brutal way to live the abundant life.  Failure and frustration are trying to short circuit our faith.  And our faith must be protected and valued.

“Afflictions add to the saints’ glory. The more the diamond is cut, the more it sparkles; the heavier the saints’ cross is, the heavier will be their crown.”

–Thomas Watson

 What Does the Scripture Say About Affliction?

  • “Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you.”   1 Peter 4:12
  • “…where they strengthened the believers. They encouraged them to continue in the faith, reminding them that we must suffer many hardships to enter the Kingdom of God.”   Acts 14:22
  • I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”   John 16:33

“The wisdom of God appears in afflictions. By these He separates the sin which He hates, from the son whom He loves. By these thorns He keeps him from breaking over into Satan’s pleasant pastures, which would fatten him indeed, but only to the slaughter.”  

-James H. Aughey

I want to try to visit this subject again.  We will trust that ‘real light’ will come to our twilight worlds.

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Tourette Syndrome [Awareness]

To understand and name something is often half the battle.  An understanding of Tourette Syndrome can help us to serve people who painfully struggle with this particular challenge.

What is Tourette syndrome?

Tourette syndrome (TS) is a neurological disorder characterized by repetitive, stereotyped, involuntary movements and vocalizations called tics. The disorder is named for Dr. Georges Gilles de la Tourette, the pioneering French neurologist who in 1885 first described the condition in an 86-year-old French noblewoman.

The early symptoms of TS are almost always noticed first in childhood, with the average onset between the ages of 7 and 10 years. TS occurs in people from all ethnic groups; males are affected about three to four times more often than females.

It is estimated that 200,000 Americans have the most severe form of TS, and as many as one in 100 exhibit milder and less complex symptoms such as chronic motor or vocal tics or transient tics of childhood. Although TS can be a chronic condition with symptoms lasting a lifetime, most people with the condition experience their worst symptoms in their early teens, with improvement occurring in the late teens and continuing into adulthood.

What are the symptoms?

Tics are classified as either simple or complex. Simple motor tics are sudden, brief, repetitive movements that involve a limited number of muscle groups. Some of the more common simple tics include eye blinking and other vision irregularities, facial grimacing, shoulder shrugging, and head or shoulder jerking.  Simple vocalizations might include repetitive throat-clearing, sniffing, or grunting sounds.

Complex tics are distinct, coordinated patterns of movements involving several muscle groups. Complex motor tics might include facial grimacing combined with a head twist and a shoulder shrug. Other complex motor tics may actually appear purposeful, including sniffing or touching objects, hopping, jumping, bending, or twisting. Simple vocal tics may include throat-clearing, sniffing/snorting, grunting, or barking. More complex vocal tics include words or phrases.

Perhaps the most dramatic and disabling tics include motor movements that result in self-harm such as punching oneself in the face or vocal tics including coprolalia (uttering swear words) or echolalia (repeating the words or phrases of others). Some tics are preceded by an urge or sensation in the affected muscle group, commonly called a premonitory urge. Some with TS will describe a need to complete a tic in a certain way or a certain number of times in order to relieve the urge or decrease the sensation.

Tics are often worse with excitement or anxiety and better during calm, focused activities. Certain physical experiences can trigger or worsen tics, for example tight collars may trigger neck tics, or hearing another person sniff or throat-clear may trigger similar sounds. Tics do not go away during sleep but are often significantly diminished.

What is the course of TS?

Tics come and go over time, varying in type, frequency, location, and severity.  The first symptoms usually occur in the head and neck area and may progress to include muscles of the trunk and extremities. Motor tics generally precede the development of vocal tics and simple tics often precede complex tics.  Most patients experience peak tic severity before the mid-teen years with improvement for the majority of patients in the late teen years and early adulthood. Approximately 10 percent of those affected have a progressive or disabling course that lasts into adulthood.

Can people with TS control their tics?

Although the symptoms of TS are involuntary, some people can sometimes suppress, camouflage, or otherwise manage their tics in an effort to minimize their impact on functioning. However, people with TS often report a substantial buildup in tension when suppressing their tics to the point where they feel that the tic must be expressed. Tics in response to an environmental trigger can appear to be voluntary or purposeful but are not.

What causes TS?

Although the cause of TS is unknown, current research points to abnormalities in certain brain regions (including the basal ganglia, frontal lobes, and cortex), the circuits that interconnect these regions, and the neurotransmitters (dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine) responsible for communication among nerve cells. Given the often complex presentation of TS, the cause of the disorder is likely to be equally complex.

What disorders are associated with TS?

Many with TS experience additional neurobehavioral problems including inattention; hyperactivity and impulsivity (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder—ADHD) and related problems with reading, writing, and arithmetic; and obsessive-compulsive symptoms such as intrusive thoughts/worries and repetitive behaviors. For example, worries about dirt and germs may be associated with repetitive hand-washing, and concerns about bad things happening may be associated with ritualistic behaviors such as counting, repeating, or ordering and arranging.

People with TS have also reported problems with depression or anxiety disorders, as well as other difficulties with living, that may or may not be directly related to TS.  Given the range of potential complications, people with TS are best served by receiving medical care that provides a comprehensive treatment plan.

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Source for this post: http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/tourette/detail_tourette.htm#147223231

Great site at: http://tsa-usa.org/

He Will Come and Find You

“The Blind Beggar” by Jules Bastien-Lepage

When Bartimaeus heard that Jesus of Nazareth was nearby, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

Mark 10:47

What a gritty, hard life Bartimaeus lived.  How terribly desperate and lost he must have felt.  He has spent years and years without any real hope.  The future to him had been emptied of all purpose and meaning.  Life, from his point-of-view was worse than non-existence.  It was brutal and vicious, and when he had bad times he could barely look up.

He had a customary spot beside the busy road.  Routine had become his coping skill.  As a blind man knew that routine kept him from really losing it.  Seated on a dirty mat, he focused in on the voices of the passing crowds.  There seemed many more than usual and Bartimaeus began to try to piece together what was happening.

Someone to the right of him, shouted “Hosanna, Son of David”!  In that stark moment Bartimaeus jumped up and began to shout himself.  He shouted and shouted until he was hoarse.  He waved his hands, desperate to be seen.  There were those around him who told him to sit-down and shut-up.  There were hundreds of people reaching for Jesus, arms outstretched and pleas being made.  In this crazy and confusing scene Bartimaeus will not comply, he must speak, he must, he is desperate!

Jesus doesn’t walk alone, but is mobbed by well-wishers.  But suddenly He stops, Jesus can hear the voice of Bartimaeus.  Jesus wades partly into the jumbled mass and asks someone to bring Bartimaeus into the open.  We see him wriggle through the crowd, he is shaking and he is filthy.  His hair is matted and he has rotting teeth.  He hasn’t bathed for several months.  A filthy rag is wrapped over his eyes.

Is Jesus passing by?  Do you call out for Him? Does he call for you?  He often touches His most needy disciples, outside of the confines of the Church.  Jesus’ travels wherever He wants, He goes where He wills.  Jesus passes by us as we sit in our youth meeting, our marriage counseling or on a short-term missions project to Mexico.  He interrupts and pulls you out of the crowd.  All to heal you, for Himself.

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