Category: christlikeness

So You Want to Become Vulnerable?

freedom_by_ahmetorhan

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

 — C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Public speaking has never been a problem for me. All through high school, Bible college, as a street evangelist– nothing I’ve ever done really has ever been a concern.  But,  I have friends who rather submit themselves to hideous torture then to put themselves in that public position.  They are afraid of the spotlight, feel exposed and just a little too accessible in the lime light.

Becoming vulnerable in love is ‘above and beyond’ the fear of public speaking.  It is almost irrational in the way it takes charge.  We refuse to put out, with the fear of being that accessible.  We will not allow ourselves to become a victim.  But public speaking has nothing on loving someone deeply, because of the risk involved.

Men are the greatest perpetrators of this attitude.  We close ourselves off and keep our hearts protected and safe.  We cannot truly give our hearts away, because we cannot share that which is most intimate (we hate that word!).  I will refuse to become vulnerable to anyone, because of the risk I put myself in. To really “trust,” in deep way, is way too much exposure for us.

Our families cannot understand our emotional coldness.  They think that the problem is their fault.  They struggle to understand.  And we respond to their attempts to accommodate us with skepticism and fear.  We hold back and pathetically attempt to adjust to their efforts.  Selfishness ultimately wins the day.

Lewis reveals that our natural inclination is towards selfishness.  We try to hide and avoid the “nakedness” that love requires.  I am convinced that we will spare no effort to stay safe, becoming invulnerable to another’s inspection.  We wall up ourselves to the risks of love.  But learning to trust is one of life’s most difficult tasks.

Jesus Christ has come, to teach us how to love openly and freely.  He became vulnerable, laying aside his prerogative of being God.  He is teaching us to love like him. We will only truly heal when we risk it all, with our Father, and our brothers and sisters.

aabryscript

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Blisters & Porcupines: How We Learn to Love

Dog vs. Porcupine

“Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The past is forgotten, and everything is new.”

2 Cor. 5:17, CEV

“I urge Euodia and I urge Syntyche to live in harmony in the Lord.”

Philippians 4:2

I learned about blisters learning to ride a horse.  Starting out I envisioned John Wayne, and every ‘cowboy’ movie I had ever seen.  Being 11 years old, gave me tremendous wisdom and experience.  Needless to say I gave up after being thrown headfirst three times.  The ground was very hard, and I’m sure the horse thought it was hilarious.

I also got blisters on my butt from the saddle.  Funny, I healed up pretty quick from the ‘throws’ but not so much when it came these tiny sores.  They were the worst pain I ever confronted in my short life.  These excruciating little carbuncles caused me several days of grief.  (My mom got me a pillow to sit on at the supper table).

There are blisters on the Body of Christ.  Little sores from too much rubbing.  Over time of contact, there comes an abrading and a redness.  Soon after it will deepen and get larger in size.  It’s very possible you will not notice until it is too late to avoid it.

So many of us are like porcupines.  (I think they are the official Christian mascot.) When challenged our quills get deployed.  A porcupine is pretty much defensive focused rodent.  It is only when handled that it will get riled up.  Again, many of us are reasonably passive, but when crossed we have a real problem.  Some have tamed this response, and as a result are more approachable than others. Others will lash back.

Our relationships will be a continual issue for us.  We will often meet people who will trigger a response in us.  Some have a ‘hair trigger’ around certain people they meet in their day.  We generally surround ourselves with those we’re compatible with. Part of the reason is that it is taxing and it requires so much energy to extend our quills. 

We learn to steer clear of personalities that are not worth the level to maintain. But generally “porcupine people” teach us more than we realize. I think that is their true purpose.

How we treat each other as believers is critical.  We must beseech the Lord to give us soft and loving hearts.  He was compassionate to us when we were so abrasive to Him (and others).  We need to see that we are not called to be compatible– we are called to love.

Part of our transformation will come when we learn to serve.  When we surrender our rights, and humbly submit, something changes in us.  We will become like Jesus (long-term) when we become like Jesus (short-term).  It is all on you.

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Brutal Honesty: Self-Control

broken-walls

“A person without self-control
    is like a city with broken-down walls.”

Proverbs 25:28

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

2 Timothy 1:7

There is no harder subject for me to broach than this one. It splits wide open a Number 10 “can of worms.” The issue is this: what is my mental illness, and what is my “flesh?” I suffer from Bipolar Disorder (and a mild form of epilepsy). But I am also an evangelical Christian believer.

So what is what? If this BP is causing extreme behavior, am I somehow exempt from the control of the Holy Spirit in my life? (Now this maybe easy for some of you to figure out, but I’m still contemplating here. Please bear with me on this.) I like things explained to me.

People are very complicated, and there are seldom any lines drawn between emotion/spirit/body. At any given time we all operate on different levels. For instance, my body maybe cold; but I’m praying quite fervently in the spirit. I can have a toothache and be really angry at Lynn (my wife). I never feel the need to analyze these actions.

Having zilch self-control is one of many bipolar symptoms. Believe me, my life has been completely devastated by snap decisions that carry terrible implications. I also habitually excuse my impulsive behavior by…

  • compartmentalizing, (categorizing everything as different)
  • rationalizing, (reasons behind ‘bad’ behavior)
  • and justifying my bad choices, (The devil made me do it).

My Bible tells me that the Holy Spirit is present to give me self-control. I believe this truly. But way too often (actually, most of the time) I’m focusing on trying to eliminate the negatives like bingeing, isolating, obsessing or plotting. I completely ignore the positives, like worshipping, praying, reading devotionally, or fellowshipping.

The vaunted “fruit of the Spirit” cannot be found in my carnal life. (If I may, allow me to change metaphors on you.) Suppose you had a real nice car sitting in your drive-way. It’s a real beaut. But since you don’t have the key, you must push it to make it go. It’s really tiring and you feel like giving it up all the time. (A trip to the store takes hours and hours.)

Silly you say? Yes. But no sillier than trying to live a Christian  life without the Holy Spirit. You see its his presence that allows you to live an impossible Christian life. My mental illness causes me a lot of grief. It affects me tremendously, as well as my friends and family. I must take meds to ease the worst of its disturbing symptoms. But there is supernatural help.

16 “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. 17 The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.”

Galatians 5:16-17, NLT

To be guided into the “fruits of the Spirit” is imperative (see Gal. 5:22-23). We’ve a tendency to accentuate the “deeds of the flesh” to our own detriment. As mentally ill people we must turn this on its head and invite the Holy Spirit to energize us.

My BP symptoms are no match for His presence. If anything they force me to helplessly call out to Him. This is a supernatural transaction that is mandatory to becoming Christlike. My physical weakness can be the backdrop for walking out convincing discipleship. Trust me, to live like a “receiver” is far better than trying to live like a “generator.” (But you  probably already knew that.)

aabryscript

Be Alert– Very Alert!

Be-Alert-Sign

“He will speak out against the Most High and wear down the saints of the Highest One.”

Daniel 7:25, NASB

“Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold.”

Matthew 24:12, NIV

Sometimes, we think it would be a fine thing to be able to tell the future. We could gaze into a crystal ball, and see exactly what is going to happen next. We would just love to tell this to our family and friends.

In a sense, the Holy Spirit has already shared the experience of believers in the modern church. And we have been told repeatedly not to consult the occult. It is forbidden– plain and simple. It’s not for us.

Once I was preaching on street corner on Telegraph Ave., in Berkeley, California. There I encountered a tarot card reader. People were everywhere. She was telling everyone’s future from a card table. Provoked by the Lord’s Spirit she went “gonzo.” She picked up her metal chair and began to smash it repeatedly against a big garbage can. It was a scene and a half! But it taught me the true nature of demon activity.

The future has been clearly predicted to us. We will enter a time of extreme difficulty. Daniel speaks of believers being “worn down.” Christians will start to crumble and erode away. It appears that this satanic assault will take apart the lives of most believers, leaving them in a compromised heap on the kitchen floor.

Jesus declares the future as well. He says that in our future we will see the love of many to grow cold. These ‘frigid believers’ will be troubled by sin and darkness. Evil will be more common, and saturate everything. The coldness will creep in.

In 1983 I was hitch hiking in Alaska. My heart was not in a good place. (I had just graduated from Bible school and I felt I had given God enough.) As I walked I saw a red piece of paper in the ditch. Retrieving it I opened it up to read simply, “Be Alert.” I felt a distinct connection to His presence. Walking another 30 yards or so, I spotted another red note. Again, “Be Alert.” I had no doubt God was speaking. When I finally got to my cabin, a call came. It was my mom who just got back from the doctor who had given her a diagnosis of cancer. I was heart-broken, but not ready to pray.

This morning I wish for you the discernment to see what is happening all around. In so many ways, the church is like the prophet Eli. We have lost our sight, and most of our discernment. (1 Samuel 2). I certainly mean no harm by this post. All I have wanted to do is give you a “heads up.” I don’t know what situation you are in at this time. But, Be Alert!

God loves those who struggle. It seems they are in a continual trouble, but the Father’s love will hold them. Their sin will remain, but they’ll be forgiven.

“But you, dear friends, must build each other up in your most holy faith, pray in the power of the Holy Spirit, 21 and await the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will bring you eternal life. In this way, you will keep yourselves safe in God’s love.”

Jude 20-21

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