Category: loneliness

Elijah Had Issues as Well

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Elijah and the Angel

“Then Elijah walked for a whole day into the desert. He sat down under a bush and asked to die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he prayed. “Let me die. I am no better than my ancestors.”

1 Kings 19:4

Poor Elijah.  He was bold and heroic, taking on the enemy at Mt. Carmel.  A mighty victory was amazing, but here he is, completely defeated and overpowered by his own fear and doubt.  How defeated was he?  We hear him begging to be allowed to die. 

He was overwhelmed.

You could say that Elijah was saturated with fear.  He could not resist taking on the conflict.  It seemed to him that everything was now directed at him.  He couldn’t take one step forward.  So, he folded.  Everything was affecting him on a personal level, and he was not built to take the load.

Many of God’s children come to this point.

He was shorting out.  His internal circuits were not designed for this.  He crumbles under the weight.  As we read the text, it all seems to be a bit off.  We shake our heads and wonder about strange Elijah.  We see him incapacitated by his doubt and fear.  But it doesn’t seem to us to be an issue.  The prophets of Baal wouldn’t deceive the Israelites anymore. After all, he had just achieved a fantastic victory that should propel him to the next encounter.

“Elijah was a human being just like us.”

James 5:17

The servants of the Lord are vulnerable.  As we step into the flow of God’s presence we will come “face-to-face “with things that are beyond us.  Often we will find ourselves pushed beyond our limits, backed in a corner and stripped of our weaponry.  Our enemies now turn to face us without fear of reprisal.

Our Father deals gently with a wounded servant.

Elijah had been crippled.  He had nothing more to give.  We can shake our head, and pass him by as a casualty of a spiritual war. But the funny thing is that God tells his story, he has been added to the narrative of scripture.  His falterings, and failings has become our focal point.  Elijah, with all his issues must be faced, and we must look at him.

We see the tenderness and gentleness of God as He deals with His bruised servant. God loves His broken believers. (1 Kings 19:12-13).

His Spirit is oh so gentle.

He comes whispering.  He lifts Elijah at Elijah’s pace.  A painful rebuke, and there isn’t a harsh word of correction, it is not even considered.  Our Father deals carefully with a wounded servant.  Elijah would go on to serve Jehovah.  Elijah would be a changed man.

God had mended him.

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(Background: 1 Kings 18-19)

The Sterile Curse of Social Isolation

“Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.”

Proverbs 18:1

Research reveals the reality of social isolation.  It seems more and more people are veering away from social contact. A Duke University study found that Americans are choosing to become more solitary than ever. Many are eschewing all relations all together.  This is a problem, socially and spiritually.

I’ve seen some of the statistics– fully 25% of people have no relationships at all, and something like 50% have no relationships outside of their spouse and children.  This disturbing trend is building momentum.  In 1985 the figure was just 15%.

I think that a lot of pressure may be coming from the internet, although Facebook and Twitter have reconfigured social connections. Longer work hours, the phone and streaming video, all contribute to the move away from human contact.

The commute time is also a factor.  For every 10 minutes stuck in traffic there is roughly a 10% drop in social relationships.  So if you have a bad commute on I-80 you are more likely not to want to have a friend over.

Hundred years ago our society was far more geared for personal contact.  People would regularly visit each other.  Neighbors knew each other.  There were parlor games and dinners.  Music recitations and skits.  Card parties. Television and radio had not yet grabbed the countries psyche.  Sociologists and anthropologists confirm that our history was deep in contact with each other.  We were not built for solitary living.

With community life disappearing people are turning to online relationships. Our churches are trying to adapt, as even Christians are not connecting like they should.  I have been out in the Alaskan bush villages, and the older generation is frustrated because the younger generation seems to be in trouble.  “They don’t pick berries, or hunt; all they do is sit in front of the TV playing Nintendo, or their laptops.”

We need fellowship with others, and God as well. There are very few solitary believers.

I guess the biggest issue of all is mental illness.  Social isolation is a direct part of depression and other disorders.  In order to get better, people must reach out and connect.  There is no substitute, no other option.

I see the shift in my own life. I am seeking to back off from being online 6-8 hours a day.  I am trying to be around flesh & blood as often as possible.  I am personally trying to consciously maximize that time.

It keeps me healthier.

To be healthier, we think its physical.  We have our gym memberships and we run on the treadmill.  That is good.  But I’m thinking we are losing out if we don’t workout socially (and spiritually) as well. Christians are  a special species; we need fellowship with others, and God as well. There are no solitary believers.

“A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire: To cut one’s self off from family, friends, and community is often to express a selfish desire. It shows an unwillingness to make the small (and sometimes large) sacrifices to get along with others.”

David Guzik, enduringword.com

“This is the message you have heard from the beginning: We should love one another.”

1 John 3:11, NLT

Loneliness is Painful

“I lie awake; I am like a lonely sparrow on the housetop.

Psalm 102:7, ESV 

 “At my first defense no one came to stand by me, but all deserted me. May it not be charged against them!”

   2 Timothy 4:1

The Bible is sensitive and aware of the difficulties of loneliness.

We discover that the sense of being all alone is quite common. We’ll encounter this awful thing before our day is done.  To be alone, isolated, and separated brings us a ‘solitary confinement‘ of our hearts.  That difficult confinement will never be easy.

There’s a place where the Lord orders us to be quarantined.

Sometimes, in order to deal with certain sins, our Father will purposefully isolate us from others. Your sinful attitudes may spread to others. Sin is often compared to spiritual leprosy–it’s contagious.

But loneliness doesn’t have to be a sin issue. Being lonely can be a season in your life; like winter is waiting for spring. This is a hard time to be sure. The field seems dead, fallow, and waits for planting seed. Ministry is not really easy during this season. It seems like a time of preparation.

Both David and Paul were often lonely. 

King David looked around and found nobody that he could be with.  He felt like a solitary bird when all had flown away, and the apostle Paul knew true abandonment.  Everyone had left him by himself in this difficult spot. The reality is, we need others. 

Jesus knew what it was like to be terribly lonely. 

“You will leave me alone, but I am never really alone because the Father is with me”  (read John 16).  I often think He spent all that time in prayer, to somehow connect with His Father was because of loneliness.  It seems Jesus had a deep need to be understood.

Your loneliness can be redeemed and used by God.

Loneliness is one of our Lord’s favorite tools in restoring our hard hearts.  It has a wonderful capacity to do things in us, that none of His other ways would work.  It can be the perfect mechanism for Him to deeply touch us.  And He will not hesitate to use it.

Often there can be a definite loneliness as we move toward Him. 

This is acquired loneliness that comes when we start separating ourselves from the world.  Few or any will understand you, or why you are doing this.  To follow Jesus, is to become like Him.  If He struggled at times with loneliness, so will you.

I can say no ‘magic words’ that will lift you out of this pain. 

Sometimes you just might have to plow it through it on your own.  But I can tell you that He is wildly and passionately in love with you. You are never alone. Never. Don’t lose heart, dear one.

If everyone forsakes you and leaves you standing alone in a tight spot, the Lord will be there. He is your best friend.

“For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”  

Hebrews 13:5

Getting a Grip on Boredom

Monotony can easily become an issue for many. I had been told to be on alert for it, but it seems like I’ve got to learn for myself.

With any chronic illness, there can be something tedious and routine about life. To have a physical or mental illness is acutely painful in many different ways. Afflicted people understand what I’m talking about. Pain can be intense and intrusive. Sometimes these things can become really depressing.

The sheer boredom of my illness can strangle my walk. It seems every day is the same and the foreseeable future holds little hope of it changing. Now I’m a reasonably sedate person. I don’t need a lot of excitement. (I like a good book and a cup of tea.) I’m not after adventure, but I don’t care too much for monotony either.

Brain-numbing existence is quite common for the afflicted.

Many people don’t understand this. Others do. And it’s not limited to us who struggle with illness. It’s seen in other people too. This brain-numbing life happens to many as well. Consider–

  • the single mom working as a secretary
  • the man mopping floors
  • the college grad frying burgers
  • the resident at the old folks’ home, every day is the same

These situations seem inescapable. We see ourselves locked into a situation where escape is not possible. We are consigned to do whatever our circumstances dictate. We’re all trapped. Pure and simple. We can find no meaning in our lives; we start to despair, “Will it ever be different?”

I believe the drabness of our lives can often be attributed to a lack of intimacy with the Lord Jesus. We are built for fellowship with God, and anything else is just “treading water.” Nothing satisfies, except Him present. I need Him desperately.

When I’m filled with hopelessness, I often find myself filling the emptiness with anything I can find. This usually leads to even more sadness and deadness inside. It’s a vicious cycle that destroys as easily as more gross and obvious sin.

When I ponder my hopelessness I feel like giving up. I simply don’t want to take another step into the doldrums of what my life has become. I despair that life will continue its suffering grind.

I must have joy in order to survive.

“The joy of the Lord is your strength” (Neh. 8:10). I don’t have to dwell in the grey drabness of hopelessness. My heart can find a reason to “sing to the Lord.”

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. Therefore my heart celebrates, and I give thanks to him with my song.”

Psalm 28:7, CSB

The Psalms repeatedly tell me the incredible power of a life that sings.

The Holy Spirit understands our brokenness. Jesus is interceding for us at this very moment, and I can rise above this tedious mess I have made for myself. This is the only way out for me. Depression is a form of suffering.

I give it to Him. I take the strength and joy He gives.