Author: Pastor Bryan Lowe

A repentant rascal with definite issues, but who is seeking to be authentic in his faith to Jesus Christ. An avid reader and a hopeful writer. Husband and father. A pastor and Bible teacher. A brain tumor survivor. Diagnosed with clinical depression, and now disabled. Enjoys life, such as it is, in Alask.a (Actually I have it pretty good.)

A Fog Like a Cage Without a Key

Walking-in-the-Fog“That’s the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it’s impossible to ever see the end. The fog is like a cage without a key.”

Elizabeth Wurtzel

Depression is a stealthy thief; anxiety is like an unwanted guest. Both are brutal companions to have skulking around. They carry misery wheresoever they go.

A good many people simply don’t understand you. They often chalk up feelings like this to a lack of faith. And true, there maybe these issues. We understand having faith to be healed. But what about faith to be sick? Isn’t this just as important?

I have to believe that being a broken believer, with a mental illness, is as formidable challenge. I have to believe that holding a faith in a merciful God in my depression is as critical as any miraculous healing. [It may even take more faith.]

I believe in supernatural healing. Jesus Christ is the same today as when He walked the shores of Galilee. I trust in His grace and know His power. Many are touched by His healing hand.

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” 

Hebrews 13:8

Depression comes– and it irrevocably changes me. But mixed with an ample dose of His love, it loses much of the sting. I know it is painful and seems endless. But the Lord promises to deliver me, and He is always faithful. Always faithful. Always.

Faith handles chronic depression quite handily. It has never lost a single bout. I want to encourage you today. If you’re not in the throes of deep depression now, begin to build your faith for those lean times ahead. Start to stock up provisions spiritually.

If I have throughly confused you, I apologize. Perhaps this post was meant for someone else, and that’s ok too. Oh, and that fog— there is a key.

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 1:6, NASB

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Pressed Roses

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33, ESV

This world is not our friend. And then we often face issues that create ugly things–  a fight with a spouse, poor choices, money problems– a lengthy list that seems that we’re always adding new entries. And as we each of us work through our tears, as we face sickness, loneliness, fear and misunderstanding.

In this world of woe and trouble, we discover that life is itself often brutal. Myself, I must deal with clinical depression, paranoia and physical pain. It is constant, a barrage of challenging things. Sometimes they swallow me up, and I lose my way.

I was thinking this morning, of a recent find in the pages of an old book– pressed rose petals! The book had been many years on the shelf. When I opened the book they I found them.  Typically, they are fairly well preserved. They still have color and shape. And most of all, they still have a fragrance.

I really don’t know what I’m supposed to do when this happens. Do I just “read” around them, or do I physically remove them? I almost feel that they are sacred or something. Do I find an old jar and store them? But no matter what I do, I always pause and think. Sometimes though, I can even remember the incident that they were given. An anniversary or a birthday maybe? Or sometimes they are given, “just because.”

Two distinct thoughts work in me. I look at the hard, hard things that I have had to process through my past, and present, and most likely, my future. I have to believe, from all that I have read and the preaching I have heard over the years that my pain gets turned into gold (or into roses!) This is exclusively a work of God. The second thought is a little bit harder to think through. But Jesus is the rose. He is the beauty and the fragrance of heaven come to earth.

There is an old fable kept by the believers of the first century; it was said that wherever Jesus stepped while on earth, roses would spring up in His footprints. This is only a legend of course, but that doesn’t mean that it is all false. Some of these stories have more truth in them than we think.

 

Coming to Him is such pleasant thing. It shouldn’t be an agonizing ordeal. It is not a painful or real sacrifice. After all, He is the rose. Roses are beautiful, they have a definite fragrance. There is a symmetry to them, and they are special, people will cultivate them for their beauty. Roses are never a hassle, for some reason we can never send or get too many.

“I am the rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys.”

Songs 2:1, ESV

“A discipleship without flowers, probably isn’t worth having.”

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Are You Getting Enough Mercy in Your Daily Diet?

Graciously, He gives us what we need

“Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.” Matt. 5:6

If you have been given mercy, you now should try hard to give it away!  And only those who show mercy will be those who continue to receive mercy, even a habitual, continual mercy focused right on you.   Being a merciful person doesn’t mean you’re getting sentimental or “teddy bear soft.”  But instead it looks a lot ike sympathy– that caring love that dresses up in a working servant’s clothing.

Jesus has no intention of just saving us from sin.  He saves us for something!  He has this trick, where He will start “a to live your life inside of  you, campaign.”  When you give Jesus your ‘green light” He takes it very seriously.  He involves Himself right inside of you.  And you will notice right away His presence and His activity right there in your heart, and out from your hands, and from out of your mouth.

We discover that He just isn’t a “forgiving God,”  but He is also an “empowering” or a changing kind of God! He intends to make you perfect, even as He is perfect.

Our church buildings can be beautiful places.  From Mexico, the UK, Canada and US, I’ve had the privilege of wandering into some beautiful places, that have been consecrated to the worship of the Lord God.  But I have come to this conclusion: our own lives are far more important in touching our communities, much more than our buildings and sanctuaries.  A fine liturgy can be wonderful, but it’s the laity that will touch our hearts.

People really do not care how much we know, until they know how much we care. 

They are being drawn by the Spirit’s presence in you.  They want the “real” Jesus Christ to ignite them.  They so desperately want to be touched by the living God.  They really want their lives turned upside down and inside out.  They want the real thing.

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Transparency and the Broken Believer

Transparency

“And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do.”

Hebrews 4:13

The impulse to hide seems to be always there. We’re incredibly uncomfortable with transparency, and it shows. The older we get the more sophisticated we become. Perhaps we simply become more adept at personal concealment.

Mental illnesses thrive on secrecy. Perhaps reality is too real for us; perhaps our own proclivity toward our sickness dictates our lives. Making a decision is awfully hard. It’s a complex thing. The human heart is a confusing place. Only God knows it fully and completely.

We want to approach God; and then we don’t. We want to be right in His eyes; and then we could care less. It seems to depend on our state of mind at any given moment. But that changes nothing.

Being transparent is our first real step. My prayer lately has been, “May it be the real me who encounters the real you.” So much good has come to my soul through this, but it must come out of sincerity and truth, which I don’t have an abundance of.

Grace is our only real choice. What He offers us is beyond any comprehension. Our salvation is free. All we must do is repent and believe. We are offered eternal life with an open hand, no tricks or scams. But first, we must admit we’ve no resources of our own.

“Is anyone thirsty?
    Come and drink—
    even if you have no money!
Come, take your choice of wine or milk—
    it’s all free!
2 Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength?
    Why pay for food that does you no good?
Listen to me, and you will eat what is good.
    You will enjoy the finest food.

3 “Come to me with your ears wide open.
    Listen, and you will find life.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you.
    I will give you all the unfailing love I promised to David.

55:1-2, NLT

God freely gives salvation to all who ask. But we must come, thirsty and hungry.

We can never deserve all that He wants to give us. We’re just beggars. Christianity should always be about beggars telling other beggars where there is bread.

Everything is open to His viewing, and there is no place to hide. We do well to call on God to change us. The beginning can be the hardest part. It is the recognition of sin which is the beginning of salvation.

A good starting point in prayer is, “undo me” or you might pray my prayer, “May it be the real me who encounters the real you.” When we start moving in openness like this we’re able to address the pride and selfishness that is within each one of us.

 

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