depression – Page 57 – Broken Believers

My Favorite Psalm

Probably the best known Psalm in the Bible is Psalm 23: “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want . . .” And I do like this Psalm. I particularly like the part that says “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you are with me.” I like this part because of the preposition “through,” which indicates the valley of the shadow of death is not a permanent dwelling place, but rather a place we travel through to get somewhere else. But this is not my favorite Psalm.

Psalm 22 is also another popular one, especially since Jesus quoted it on the cross when he said, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” I like this Psalm because of it’s prophetic nature. Looked at closely you can find many of the things that would later happen to Jesus talked about by David in this Psalm even though David did not know that is what he was doing. But this is not my favorite Psalm either.

Psalm 27 is another favorite of many because it gives courage when it says, “ The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” In a sometimes terrifying and wearying world, this Psalm provides great comfort to those enduring trials. But this is not my favorite either.

If you ask most Christians (and even some non-Christians), they will have a favorite Psalm, and I am no different. My favorite is Psalm 116. This Psalm starts in verse 1 with: “I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.” This is a Psalm of David when he was in great anguish and danger. The verses that speak to me the most are 3-4 and 8-9.

³ The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came upon me;
I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.

⁴ Then I called on the name of the LORD :
“O LORD, save me!”

⁸For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death,
my eyes from tears,
my feet from stumbling,

⁹ that I may walk before the LORD
in the land of the living.

Reading this Psalm reminds me of my journey through major depression and how God was with me in it all. It reminds me why I trust in Him – because He has proven Himself faithful to me in the past and has heard my cries for mercy. I supposed Psalms 23, 22, or 27 could serve the same purpose, but the language of Psalm 116 more closely fits the trouble and sorrow I went through, especially the part about delivering my eyes from tears. If you have ever experienced major depression, or known someone who has, you know that tears are an almost constant companion, and yet there is no understanding of why they are there.

I still have times of melancholy, and I certainly cry from time to time. But now I can identify what is making me blue and my tears have a reason and purpose when they come. And my God is always there to hear my cries of mercy.

So this is my favorite Psalm. What’s yours?

ysic, Linda K.

Anchored to Him

“Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. ¹⁹This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary.”

Hebrews 6:18-19, NLT

“Every thing that is done in the world is done by hope.” ~Martin Luther

“To live without hope is to cease to live.” ~Fyodor Dostoevsky

We must never give up our hope. In some sense we must guard our tether that reaches into heaven. The writer of Hebrews develops this idea into an exhortation. We are linked by hope as an “anchor for our souls.”

Many years ago I signed on as a deckhand fishing ‘long line’ for halibut in the Gulf of Alaska. We had to fish for 24 hours straight, we couldn’t put the long line into the water until midnight, and then we went all out until midnight the next day. It was brutal and cold work.

The ship’s anchor was vital. We ‘holed up’ in a sheltered cove were we spent a day resting up near Kodiak Island. I was as green as they come; I dreamed that we would make a fortune the next day. I suppose I was a bit deluded.

Anchors come in a dozen shapes and sizes: some are for muddy bottoms, others for sand or rock. The anchor is the only tether or connection to the ocean floor. It allows the ship to be fixed in one spot temporarily. The open sea is always churning and tides and currents are almost always running; the wind is always a factor.

Waves can get rather dangerous. There can be sense of riding a roll-coaster. I have been at the wheel when water broke over the cabin. I knew real fear. (Watch the movie, “The Perfect Storm.”)

Our own hope is a ‘strong’ and reliable anchor for our souls. Let’s face reality. The storms we are traversing through can be formidable. Sometimes, we honestly wonder if we are going to make it. Having a mental or physical illness gives more credence to the power of the wind and waves.

But we have an anchor; it holds and tethers us to that which is solid and eternal. Our hope is in Jesus; he is both eternal and tender, and ever-present for us. Our anchor holds.

Some of My Paintings

Here are some paintings I’ve done over the last few years. I hope that they bless you somehow. All were painted out of a long season of deep depression. Painting these (and a lot of others) was the only thing that kept me sliding off the edge. Some might ask, how can you create these out of your Bipolar Disorder? To be honest, I am just as mystified as you. None of these are ‘perfect,’ But made in a time when I was under a certain ‘strain.’ But they are what they are.

31038_395860324101_595434101_4245531_648237_n — One of my favorites.

“An artist has been defined as a neurotic who continually cures himself with his art.” (Lee Simonson)

“The Bipolar Mind”

“Three Crows Having Lunch”

All of these paintings have been given to various non-profit organizations, for the handicapped and the mentally ill. To me, that is the place they belong. “If you have two loaves of bread, keep one to nourish the body, but sell the other to buy hyacinths for the soul.” (Herodotus)

Kachemak Bay, Alaska (with moonlight)

Straight on view

painting — This was painted when things were really bad.

Promises that Give Me a Workout

What a difficult struggle the last several days have been. I have tried to function but have been broadsided by several things at once. I have asked God to draw near, He has made me a promise that He would never leave me, or forsake me. I hold on to this and will not let go. Where would I be without them?

The Bible is full of God’s promises, especially the Psalms. I believe the Psalms have a special meaning for those who struggle with issues (like a mental illness.) Many times when troubles have been abundant, I have opened my Bible and found a precious promise waiting for me that has proven to be a great comfort.

But we don’t have to go through troubled times to appreciate God’s promises. His blessings are new every morning. Thank God! The Lord has promised us freedom from anxiety, along with His peace that passes all understanding. Here are the ‘top five’:

If we simply trust Him with everything (Philippians 4:6-7).
He promised to supply all our needs (Philippians 4:19),
With supernatural joy to His followers (John 15:11),
an abundant life (John 10:10)
answered prayers (John 14:14)

“How I relate to the promises in the Word often we will determine the dimensions of my depression.”

Its length, and depth, and width are determined by my action with the promises. By squeezing out His promises I can find hope to continue on with life. For me, the Word is more important than life.

Some have described depression as the ‘common cold’ of the mental illness world. If that is true, then God’s Word is the Vitamin C. I can’t prevent a cold, but I sure can reduce its impact. How severe will it get this time?

I woke up this morning, and before I even opened my eyes I could feel the oppression of depression. I want to die, why did I wake up? Maybe if I close my eyes I will be able to go back to sleep, and not wake-up. To the depressed, sleep (death’s cousin) is easiest way to escape. It provides a profound release from the anguish of depression. But there isn’t a 24 hour sleeping pill yet.

I find I want to deal with my depression in two ways: Escape or deny. Both avoid the real world. And both have a tremendous impact on the way I function. God’s promises to help you are real and profound. Properly administered, they offer hope and life beyond taking an anti-depressant. Consider them to be the medicine your soul needs!

ysic, Linda K.

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“Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. 19 This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary.”

Share this:

Share this:

“How I relate to the promises in the Word often we will determine the dimensions of my depression.”

Share this:

“Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. ¹⁹This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary.”