Category: weakness

More Bumble Than Believer, [Aging]

It’s strange getting older. It’s not for the faint of heart. 

A whirlwind of days and nights swirl from this human drama, and I think I may be starting thinking about my exit— Lord willing, stage right.

I’m supposed to be a ‘veteran’ now– a mature believer.  I’m not supposed to get stressed.  However, age is a brutal teacher– and it seems we have to learn so dang fast, it’s like trying to drink from a fire hose. (Just the other day three teeth almost came out from the blast.)

Getting old is great in some ways. I only wish I could do it more gracefully.

On top of it all, it seems to me like my sin has poisoned the air that others must breathe.  I have contaminated so much. You might just say, I have ‘soured’ everyone’s milk.  “Learning to live with the  regrets” is a class that we should add to the local high school’s curriculum. It certainly would be useful.

A old friend is celebrating her birthday so I volleyed a semi serious “tongue and cheek” regret at her.  But then, I suddenly realized that there is a point when we realize that behind every older person, is someone else wondering what the hell has happened, and how did it get this way so fast? It would be funny if it weren’t so serious.

As a Christian, I tentatively believe that this world I’m in, has folded open for me, and God has specified a direction.  I do contend though, unbelief is easier on a certain level, but I do not intend to take any detours.  Perhaps the real trick about reading a map in the car is that you most likely won’t get it folded back the same way ever again.  You must learn to accept this. And as a rule, maps seldom reveal the best detours.

“Even as you grow old and your hair turns gray,
    I’ll keep carrying you!
    I am your Maker and your Caregiver.
    I will carry you and be your Savior.”

Isaiah 46:4

I must admit to having a connection to “Bumble”, that crazy, loveable, abominable snowman in one of those schlocky, animated children TV classics from my youth.  I guess I identify with that ‘misfit’ yeti– someone who finally sees the light, but only when all his teeth are pulled!  Somewhere in that show he seemed almost good,  but didn’t we all wonder for a while if he would come around or not?

I  also wonder about the thief on the cross who got his ticket punched by Jesus at the last possible moment.  When we finally make it to heaven, we will find him there laughing and celebrating like everyone else, just like he belonged.  I guess grace does that to a person.

Walking in the Darkness

  • We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed
  • perplexed, but not driven to despair
  • persecuted, but not forsaken
  • struck down, but not destroyed;

2 Corinthians 4:8-9, ESV

The issues we face can be formidable. Our relationships and our circumstances can bring daunting obstacles to joyful Christlike living. We live out at times from unpleasant realities and less than ideal situations. We are broken believers who follow Jesus through our deadly minefields.

Struggling with mental illness is just as much a challenge as with any other handicap. The young man struggling with bipolar disorder or someone else who faces a clinical depression, may seem to be tangled up in something quite brutal and very hopeless. “Will I ever find normal again?“

I know that struggle and at times it has ripped me apart. But I suppose the grinding hopelessness is the worst part of that.

I want to encourage you in this. The issues we face on a daily basis are hard. And we don’t minimize their complexity or diminish their bitterness. They can be awful. But the Holy Spirit is with you in the midst of your issues. That’s a promise.

There is a wisdom emanating from the fire. It’s only waiting for discovery. The flames can not destroy us when God shows up.

I believe that the constant presence of difficulty produces a faith and tenderness that can’t be just prayed for.

The most kind and gentle people are those who themselves have been afflicted.

Please understand we have a real challenge. We have to walk through the trials or tests, not around them. We see a mountain, and God gives us a shovel. But He also gives us the strength we need.

But I’ve discovered a tenuous joy in these issues— more precisely, a joy because of them. Our illness is not meant to destroy us. That is not why God has allowed you to be afflicted.

I definitely did not choose this path I’m on.

Think about Jesus’ great love for people with hard issues:

“In that hour he healed many people of diseases and plagues and evil spirits, and on many who were blind he bestowed sight.”

Luke 7:21

Jesus has special spot for the afflicted, we see him repeated touching them. He drew them like a magnet draws iron. And he is the same today in our time. It is comforting to know that he cares for us and that we are understood. Let him draw you into his caring presence.

Our disabilities do not trouble him. Yes, I know the issues are formidable. But your obedience in them is an exquisitely special commodity to Jesus. I believe He values the shaking faith of broken people far more than the happy shiny people with no pain or scars.

Faith is precious in his sight and holds its value for all eternity.

Understanding this should be a cause for joy for the broken believer. Having the lightness of heart, right in the middle of our disability, often transforms these issues into a lighter burden. “We are  beaten but not totaled. Incredibly challenged but not completely devastated.“ The apostle wrote this in his letter to the Corinthians, and it gives us hope.

I have learned that if I can bless a difficult thing it will bless me.

If we curse it and it will curse us. If you bless a situation, it has no power to hurt you, and even if it is troublesome for a time, it will gradually fade out, but only you can only sincerely bless it.  

There’s a deep joy waiting for those who choose to do this.

I guarantee it!

Peter’s Greatest Flops

The apostle Peter was well acquainted with failure. He understood blowing it big time. I’ve identified at least 11 times when he did the wrong thing; He stumbled repeatedly, but that encourages me. (I’m glad he struggled.)

I suppose that we must acknowledge that Jesus saw something in Peter–a definite future of a ministry that would be critical in the lives of the other disciples, but it wasn’t going to be easy for Peter. Jesus was alert and He prayed specifically for His bumbling disciple.

“…but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”

Luke 22:32, ESV

Here’s my list of Peter’s greatest flops:

  • Peter can’t figure out the Parable of the Sower, so he asks Jesus for further explanation. We too don’t understand all the things Jesus taught, we get confused. Peter’s example is a strength for us. Jesus doesn’t reject our ignorance. (Matthew 15:15-16.)
  • Peter and the others try to keep the children away from Jesus. (Mark 10:13-14.)
  • Peter is full of selfish ambition and argues with the other disciples as they walk with Jesus. (Mark 9:33-34; Luke 22:24.)
  • Peter tried to follow Jesus by walking on the water. He failed and sank; Jesus took him by the hand and gave him a gentle rebuke. (Matthew 14:28-33.)
  • On the Mountain of the Transfiguration Peter witnessed an incredible event when Jesus was seen in all His glory. Peter blew it by not understanding what had just happened. (Mark 9:2-8.)
  • Peter actually is strongly rebuked by Jesus and called, “Satan.” (Matthew 16:23.)
  • Peter resists Jesus when He is washing the disciple’s feet. (John 13:5-9.)
  • Peter fails to listen to Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane and falls asleep. He was told to watch and pray. Peter failed, and fell asleep. (Matthew 26:36-46.)
  • Peter, with “oaths” and “curses” denies knowing Jesus in the courtyard of the High Priest. (Matthew 26:69-75.) See also, Matt. 10:33.
  • Peter is broken over his denial of Jesus. It seems that he’s a complete failure as a disciple and returns to his boat and goes fishing. The other disciples follow him.(John 21:1-3.) We also see Jesus restoring Peter to Himself. (John 21:15-19.)
  • Peter is intimidated by the Jews, and withdraws from fellowshipping with the Gentile believers. He is soundly rebuked by Paul “to his face.” (Gal. 2:11-14.)

It seems that none of these are spiritually fatal, but perhaps they could be. In every case listed we can see the tenderness and goodness of the Lord Jesus who forgave and restored Peter. He loves His disciple much more than Peter realizes.

At times our walk is also somewhat discouraging.

We sin, and we fail in so many ways. It seems overwhelming at times. The Holy Spirit calls us to pray and sing, but if we’re honest we often can’t really do these things. Our failures seem to disqualify us to be disciples. A kind of “spiritual depression” falls over us. We seem to believe that God is angry with us. We think He condemns us.

But God’s love for you is total and everlasting.

 “I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.”

John 10:28

On that day you accepted Him as your Savior a covenant was made. He’s committed to bring you through life and to Himself. Forever. Jesus is completely faithful and He loves you deeply and most unreasonably. We call this “grace.” And it’s amazing.

  1. God has initiated your salvation. He launched it and is in charge of it.
  2. God works over and over in your life to make you like His Son.
  3. When you die and stand before Him that process will be finished completely.

“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

Philippians 1:6

Facing Down Your Dragon

“For I am ready to fall,
    and my pain is ever before me.”

Psalm 38:17

Over 85 million Americans live in chronic pain. That’s amazing. Maybe you’re one of them and maybe you just want to understand — perhaps you have a friend or family member who is hurting. They’re facing their dragon and that can be a challenge.

Pain can be constant, or, it can be intermittent. It shows up unpredictably. One never knows when. But believe me, it is terribly real, even if it’s not continual. I look at my dragon in the eye far too often. Way too often.

There are different kinds and various levels to it. Healthcare people often use the Numerical Rating Scale (NRS). Pain is ranked by numbers between 1-10, the higher the number the greater the pain.

Christians are part of that 85 million. We’re not immune just because we believe in Jesus. Some of us will hurt.

Coping with Chronic Pain

  • Learn all you can about your particular issue. I’m constantly looking and hopefully learning all I can, I want to be an expert. Research things. Google and Wikipedia can be deep reservoirs of knowledge.
  • Learn how to worship and pray in a brand new way. Things have changed now and seeking Him becomes a challenge, and, it can be easier.
  • Insomnia
  • Depression or anxiety, or both.
  • Fatigue, or stress.
  • Mood swings.
  • Doctors and meds.

Advice to Caregivers

I have to warn you, severe pain can make your dear one irrational. Pain can get so intense that you will find it impossible to relate to the sufferer. I once had a fierce battle with Complex regional pain syndrome (CRPS) in both forearms. Most doctors rate this as one of the worst types of pain to have.

Morphine didn’t help. Lynnie (my wife) could only watch and pray as the dragon kept attacking me, over and over. She watched me writhe in pain and she was pretty much helpless.

I was very angry, wildly rude and terribly mean. I was frustrated because I couldn’t communicate how bad the pain was. Over and over I tried to share how I was feeling, but words were not enough.

Some advance the idea that you need to find enough faith to be healed, but what about having enough faith to live in constant pain?

“Pain is no evil, unless it conquers us.”

     Charles Kingsley