Here I Am Once Again, [Again]

O Lord here I am again

Just plain old me, coming to you

As I’ve come a thousand times–

And this is what always happens:

Your response is immediate

You open your arms unhesitantly

You draw me to yourself

You clasp me to your father-heart

Then reaffirm my position:

 

I am a child of the King

And all that is yours is mine

When I begin my stammering account— of gross unworthiness

Your gentle smile hushes me.

With endless patience

You remind me once more –that my value never determines Your love.

Rather your love determines my value.

–Ruth Harms Calkins

” And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”                            

Philippians 1:6, NLT

1 Corinthians 1:9

When God Leads You, [Surprises]

I’ve had several experiences with His presence. These are quite astonishing, and I really can’t minimize any of them. What the Father gives, I certainly accept.

#1, We were at language school, and broke. We had nothing extra to spend. My son, Benjamin came down with a fever. It was a formidable one. It was a 103 F or more. We didn’t know what to do.

I went up to his bedside, completely overwhelmed. And I laid my hands on him and prayed. It was a simple prayer, actually quite pathetic. But it was sincere. Ben was blazing hot, and I ventured into that. I prayed, and then took my hands off him. There was nothing significant about it all, just an overwrought father going through the motions. A few minutes later, I laid my hands on him and he was cool. I can’t explain it.  God touched Benjamin, and I simply can’t understand it.

#2, We were heading to Mexico, with a overloaded car without A/C. We were traveling from Texas to San Diego. It was terribly hot. We were travelling with another couple, from Canada. We sort of decided to convoy together. But somewhere in Arizona, we decided to split up. It was way too hot, and the Canadians could only go 40 miles per hour, pulling their trailer.

I looked back at my kids, and they were comatose. The heat had wiped them out. At this point, I decided to break up the convoy. We would now cross Arizona at 80 mph. Enough was enough.

I was very anxious. I was taking my family across the border, and I was quite intimidated. I remember praying a desperate prayer for guidance. It was short and simple, without any “flowery” language. It was just me, praying for help. I just want to make that clear.

After a night in a San Diego hotel, we went shopping for things we would need in Mexico. We then headed for the border crossing. I was still anxious and fearful. As we approached the border, there was several lanes. I chose a lane, and all of a sudden I heard a horn beeping. I looked back and saw our Canadian friends directly behind us! In that instant, I understood the Father’s care for my family. What we were experiencing was a million to one shot.

#3, While in Mexico I had decided that we would support the local  ministries whenever we could. A pastor pulled up, his car tank was quite empty. I went out to greet him, and realized I needed to give him gasoline. He pulled in and I decided to siphon from my car to his.

As I worked the hoses, I inhaled a great deal of gas. I started to choke, I couldn’t draw in any air. I remember falling to my knees in our trailer. My wife could only watch, as I struggled for air. I very well could have died. As I gasped for air, I realized His deep care for me. I realize now that He truly loves me. (But I did “burp” a lot of gasoline for several weeks.)

These three examples are quite intense. I suppose that I couldn’t fabricate any of them. Each of them is a drastic example of God’s goodness.  All that I have experienced I pass to you. Just know that God is very good, and He loves you. You belong to Him.

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Restrain Them: Psalms 141:8-10

8″ I look to you for help, O Sovereign Lord.
    You are my refuge; don’t let them kill me.
Keep me from the traps they have set for me,
    from the snares of those who do wrong.
10 Let the wicked fall into their own nets,
    but let me escape.”

 Psalms 141:8-10, NLT

Spoken like a man who knows and has experienced a whole lot of trouble. David speaks from the matrix of his heart. In this day of cool indifference and sterile objectivity, you rarely see a passionate life being lived.

Perhaps we need a baptism of trouble and woe. I like softness, and love comfort. I am easily taken in by a menu at my favorite diner, and I adore Starbucks. I seem to have an “instant Christian” mentality. I want patience, and I want it now!

Commentary

V. 8, “I look to you for help, O Sovereign Lord.
    You are my refuge; don’t let them kill me.”

This is one of those deep, “rock-bottom” prayers. There is no flowery elegance in this verse. I can smell the sweat, and see the grime. There is dirt under the fingernails of David. It is a cry of somebody in trouble.

But David’s vision is full of God. He chooses to call on the Lord for the help he must have. People want to kill him, and David needs a temporary restraining order desperately.

As I read these verses, there is an absence of anxiety. This man has taken his refuge in the cave of God’s heart. David will be kept securely and safely in that place. He is aware, but he also trusts.

V. 9, “Keep me from the traps they have set for me,
    from the snares of those who do wrong.”

The nature of traps and snares is that they must be hidden. A snare only works by surprise. They must be stealthy. The psalmist doesn’t rely on his own abilities to detect and escape these traps. Rather he reaches out to his Father, and he relies on God’s abilities.

V. 10,  “Let the wicked fall into their own nets,
    but let me escape.”

What we see around us must be (and will be) reversed. The righteous and the wicked will switch places. We need to believe this. Those who have buried themselves in darkness are the ones caught. We must understand this transforming “swap.” It happens when embattled hearts seek the Lord, just like David has done.

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Please Shut the Door, [Prayer]

“When you pray, go into a room alone and shut the door. Pray to your Father in private. He knows what is done in private, and he will reward you.”

Matthew 6:6, CEV

“We are to be shut out from men, and shut in with God.”

Andrew Murray

Prayer is a deep and awesome thing.  And yet in a sense our physical life must have cheeseburgers and spaghetti.  Food powers us, and we are fueled by it’s energy.  Prayer is also necessary to propel us, for it is our spirit’s nourishment.

We cannot survive without food. We see pictures of emaciated children in some African country, and they are just  skin and bones.  It is a sick evil.  But there are Christians who are like this spiritually.  They are starving because they are not praying.

Jesus told His followers, to go into a room alone.  Then shut the door.  We must learn that God is in the secret.  If we should meet with Him, we must be as secretive.  “Shut the door,”  what happens in there is not for public display. We must be quite discrete in our times with Him.

When I was at in my first year at Bible school, I heard a guest speaker teach from Matt. 6:6.  I was pumped up by it, praying with the door shut was a new idea for me.  When I got to my dorm room, I went straight for my closet to put this new revelation into action. Kneeling there in the closet, with the door slid shut, I tried to pray.  And after a bit I fell asleep, still on my knees.

About an hour later I woke up with a start.  I had no idea where I was, and in my disorientation I slid open the closet door with a loud bang.  I tried to stand, but my legs couldn’t support me.  I lurched out in the room and fell in a pile.  My roommate was startled to say the least.  He had been in the room studying quietly by himself, when suddenly this ‘wildman’ burst out of the closet and immediately collapsed.  It was hysterical!

So much for my first attempt at praying in secret.

The quest for spiritual growth will have to lead us into the closet.

The injunction to close the door can be understood in a variety of ways.  The act of isolating ourselves is a physical one.  But we must understand we need to shut up all our social entanglements and obligations.  We isolate ourselves so we can be intimate with Him.

We just need to figure out just how we are to do this.  We shouldn’t give up when it doesn’t bring wondrous results.  We are all students in this, we will advance at times, and then retreat.  But every second in the closet can be an intimate blessing to our souls.

“He that loveth little prayeth little; he that loveth much prayeth much.” 

– Augustine

 

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