Category: blessings

Tightrope Theology

As a person with a mental illness, it seems my issues are a matter of extremes.  Life seems uncontrollable; the wheels seem to always ready to come off of the wagon.  It strikes me as a semi-crazed place to be.  I look at the “norms” with envy, as their lives are crisp, healthy, and strong.

I once met a man that had a prophetic ministry who was speaking at a local church here in Alaska.  When I met with him, he looked at me intently.  He said many things, but the most significant was this. “You are an unstable man; you are like water.”  This was almost 30 years ago.  It has been an accurate prophecy and assessment since I heard it.  At first it stung, I hated it; but now, all these years later, I find a certain comfort in it.  God knows me; He understands.  I haven’t found any reason to be condemned for being Bipolar.

Those of us who walk the tightrope of sanity and insanity have One in heaven who not only knows us, but is on our side.  Hebrews 7:25 declares:

“Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them.”

I must realize that I am not the “bad apple in the barrel,” nor am I cursed.  Rather the opposite is true.  I am the richest of all men, because of His radical grace that gets extended to the weakest. Those who “touch” my life are blessed by their contact with me, and since I have been so unnaturally “graced,” they become blessed by His presence through me. WOW! I simply need to be me, and they are drawn to you.

The issues that a mentally ill person (and those who are often a struggler and a rascal) faces are formidable.  But without His promises they are impossible.  The secular view is just to create a “zero sum” game.  It is to bring a person to some stupefied place of stasis.  Not exactly up–but not down either.  Stable, sort of.

It is very good to be stable.  But my goal can not be stability, but an obedience to a supernatural God who loves me supernaturally.  I simply can’t live without knowing that.  However, when I know it, I can handle the tightrope.  I will start to walk a “supernatural” walk.

You could say that God has a hobby, or a specialty.  It is weak and handicapped people.

He loves working with us and in us.  And I have become very much convinced that He pours out special favor on those of us who struggle so difficulty, those of us who will never fit in or be ‘normal.’

We need to come to that real and authentically holy place where we see God. But also in that place, and at the same time, we need to see ourselves as well.  And actually, both are most critical.  They are done imperfectly— but both must happen, nevertheless.

I exhort you to take on your tightrope.  You will only stay upright and cross it if you are aware of His grand love and presence.  It is an amazing thing to balance and walk, and if we fall?  Well, we drop into His net.  Get back up, and get in line again.  Secure your heart into the love of God for your soul.

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The Voice

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“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”

John 10:27, NLT

Do you hear him? He is always speaking to his own; with many things, some pertaining to guidance, and other issues. He delights in teaching us– through words of wisdom that encourage us to follow, or how to really love your neighbor.

He desires to point out things as we encounter them; your curiosity in the natural is meant to be spiritual as well. His soul is that of a teaching shepherd, and he delights in his ministry to us. And we need his instruction.

Regular time with him can not be separated from our daily routine. I have learned that he accommodates himself to us, the ‘grist’ of life is his blackboard. The events that I encounter are his ‘lessons.’ As I move through my life I ‘hear’ his voice. I begin to sense the need of those who I encounter.

“When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.”

Matthew 9:36

I have learned the joy of praying in the moment with 10 second prayers. Praying continually as I see the needs. I pray for the man who bags my groceries; and lift up the young mother pushing a stroller. I believe his voice prompts me to lift each need I encounter. When the Bible tells us to ‘pray continually’ this is what Paul has in mind.

He becomes my teacher– compassionate and kind to those I meet.

He ‘tunes me’ to see people from his viewpoint. He shows me of their struggles, hopes, and aspirations. I try to never judge what I’m shown; actually the opposite is true– I’m learning to love like he loves. I’m seeing what he sees.

I’m a work in progress. Very often my cares, sins, and disobedience nullify the voice of Jesus, Sometimes my personal issues hijack me and I swirl down into depression or paranoia. I am intensely flawed, but the Holy Spirit is gracious. He always meets me where I am. Slowly, I’m learning to hear his voice.

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A Blessed Discomfort

Love One Another

What follows is NOT an ordinary, run-of-the-mill blessing.  Some would undoubtedly wish for one, and others anticipating what follows, will skip this blog.  It happens all the time.  But, at distinct times, the Holy Spirit surgically slices through our foggy-ness and illuminates us to ourselves.

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers,
half truths, and superficial relationships,
so that you may live deep within your heart.

 

May God bless you with anger at injustice,
oppression, and exploitations of people,
so that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace.

 

May God bless you with tears to shed for those
who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war,
so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them
and to turn their pain into joy.

 

And may God bless you with enough foolishness
to believe that you can make a difference in this world,
so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.

–From a Franciscan Benediction

Blessed with discomfort, anger, tears and foolishness.  Too often, we often think our discipleship as a massive undertaking for a personal renovation.  And when that does happen, thank God!   But we must drive this home, spiritual make-overs are not the point of holy living! 

We are directed to engage the world and to hammer away at the lies, in order to free people, under the direct supervision of the Holy Spirit.  When we serve, give, love, we will be surprised to find that our own lives will change, almost as an after-thought. Just maybe, that is what God intends? Maybe.

“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’

Matthew 25:40, NLT

 

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Written in Stone

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“Heaven and earth will disappear, but my words will never disappear.” Luke 21:33

Nothing is permanent– except God’s Word. He has left His message for us that each could understand how and why the universe exists. We read it to have life explained. When God spoke His Word, things came into being. He holds it all together by the Word. The Lord is a communicator and a revelator through the Word. “Your eternal word, O Lord, stands firm in heaven” (Psalms 119:89).

In biblical Israel, at a king’s coronation they were given direct access to the books of the Bible. In fact, it was insisted upon. In Deuteronomy 17:19,  “He must always keep that copy with him and read it daily as long as he lives. That way he will learn to fear the Lord his God by obeying all the terms of these instructions and decrees.”

Becoming a ‘person of stability’ involves direct contact with our Bibles. Over and over again, we are exhorted to study and listen to its message. Many of us struggle, and some of us have a mental illness. Depression usually pulls me away from reading the word. Sometimes reading just a verse or two helps me. I have a Bible ‘promise book’ which I recommend for ‘feeding’ your wounded heart. Sometimes, I must resort to a spoken format (which helps a lot).

“The law of Your mouth is better to me
Than thousands of gold and silver pieces.”

Psalm 119:72

The Bible has value; it is a book that has a true wealth beyond anything else. It can make the reader rich. There often is a real ‘spiritual poverty’ that can accompany our illness. We instinctively ‘batten down the hatches’ and throw over the non-essentials to ‘lighten the load.’ This is understandable, but tragically misguided. We need His word, more than ever.

“Understanding your word brings light,
    to the minds of ordinary people.”

Psalm 119:130 (CEV)

Do not neglect your spiritual walk while struggling. That is a major mistake. There is a spiritual dimension to this physical illness that you must acknowledge. There is a spiritual battle that can sweep you off your spiritual feet. Just a few words from Him, and His book can mean the difference between ‘squirming or soaring.’

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.”

Colossians 3:16

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