Category: mental illness

Broken Dreams, On a Friend’s Suicide

This is a guest post from TheNorEaster, hope it blesses!

A TheNorEaster Post.

An old buddy of mine from high school recently committed suicide.

I cried myself to sleep the night I got the news, praying passionately and begging God to have mercy upon him.

John was the last person I would ever expect to take his own life. He always was quick with a joke, and his laughter was contagious.

When I got the news, I was fortunate enough to be with my best friend, who eventually asked, “How many is that?”

“Exposures?”

“And the people you were especially close to.”

“Mike shot himself, Ken’s two neighbors had some kind of ritual, Adrian stabbed his social worker to death to get shot by a cop, Judy’s killer hung herself in prison after beating her to death with a sledgehammer, Neal’s father-in-law shot himself, I don’t know how Kim did it, and then there was Britany, Terry, Nancy.

“And now, John. That’s ten, I think. It wouldn’t be so bad if there weren’t so many.”

Each new loss compounds the previous ones. And I kept wondering when it all would end, when my grief would finally pass — when I could, at long last, get on with my life.

As I write these words now, I realize these trials are my life. And that the only way anyone can ever avoid grief is pure apathy.

I grieve because I care. And I mourn because I have loved.

If there ever was a way to love somebody without ever getting hurt, or burned, even betrayed — Well, I sure wish somebody would put it in The Suggestion Box.

I’d be lying if I said that I am not angry at John. He left behind a wife. Two children. But, I also know, from what I know, that John covered his own wounds very well.

Until the blood of his wounds soaked through the bandage.

It has been said that America is “The Land of Opportunity.” And we are taught to pursue our dreams with ferocious tenacity — be it writing a book or making music or simply starting a family.

In the midst of it all, we sometimes forget that life is not, at all, fair. That those who live good and respectable lives come upon atrocious times. And that those who do achieve their dreams — even one as seemingly simple as starting a family, like John — do indeed have their own wounds with which to contend.

As I consider this, I cannot help but wonder — What is the purpose of a dream?

To achieve? To inspire? To be rich? Or famous?

“Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave — just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
~Matthew 20:26-28

God sure does everything backwards, doesn’t He?

So, is it just possible that the relentless pursuit of a dream is a symptom of our spiritual poverty? Doesn’t Scripture tell us to be content? And yet, how can we possibly be content if we always want to be where we are not?

I am very much aware that those questions do sound discouraging. And, in fact, they are discouraging — until we consider the truth behind Psalm 37:4:

“Take delight in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

For the longest time, I thought that passage was some sort of trade off, that if I took “delight in the LORD” then my dreams certainly would come true.

But, I realize now that what I have wanted — and even what I still do want — is so very rarely what God wants.

And that is why, to be sure, that delighting in the Lord does not mean getting what we want, but instead means that God gives us desires in our hearts to serve Him — in humility, with gratitude, and, above all, out of love.

“Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant.”

And if my dreams must die that I may yet have a measure of greatness in the eyes of God, if I still must endure the terrible loss of my old buddy, if I need struggle with depression to run the race, if I must face my own foolishness in my fourth suicide attempt last year, if being broken is the cross I must carry in this life to see my precious Father face to Face…

…I’d say a few broken dreams cannot possibly compare to such heavenly glory.

“Sunset is Morning.”

Please check out TheNorEaster’s terrific blog at: http://thenoreaster.wordpress.com/

Deciding What Makes Up Wisdom

kind-words1

“Often wise sayings fall on barren ground; but a kind word is never ever thrown away.” Sir Arthur Helps

There are so many things to grasp. Our own recovery practically insists we grab vital truths. When we latch on them, we must stick to them no matter what. When we lose someone, or even lose ourselves, we must listen so much closer– the Lord will send someone to our side.

Some rules though:

  • Curiosity is not ever the same as caring.
  • Losing ones balance is never the same as losing ones testimony.
  • A gentle touch can mean more than a powerful revelation.
  • Words of kindness are better than cold truth.
  • To really hear is better than a speech of true words.
  • We must live out the questions we whisper to God
  • Practising prayer is better than just simply praying.
  • Similar experiences that emphasize a connection is never the same as the individuals.
  • Our questions to God reveal far more than His answers.
  • When we do decide to dance, our true friends will dance too.

Ok, I must admit these are not always true and concrete in my heart. My life seems to be a cavern of emptiness; there is little inside but a silly reputation. But it’s a blanket that can’t warm my chilly heart.

12 “Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.”

Colossians 3:12-14, NLT

“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.”

Galatians 6:2

“It is a sin to belittle one’s neighbor;
    blessed are those who help the poor.”

Proverbs 14:21

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Tobacco Use: Putting Down the Cigarette

By Brendan McLean, NAMI Communications Manager

Studies have shown that individuals living with mental illness die 25 years earlier than the general population. Part of the reason is due to smoking related diseases. At the end of July, the Smoking Cessation Leadership Center held a webinar on the importance of quitting smoking.

“Peers Helping Peers: Ways to Quit Tobacco with Rx for Change” consisted of a panel of experts from around the country, including Ken Duckworth, M.D., medical director of NAMI, and discussed the addictive power of tobacco, ways that will help people quit smoking and the role peer counselors can play.

Individuals living with mental illness are disproportionately represented among those who smoke. Forty-four percent of people who smoke have a mental illness. However, this percentage can be much higher when compared to a specific mental illness. For example, studies have shown that between 62 and 90 percent of individuals living with schizophrenia smoke.

This high rate of smoking means that one-half of the 435,000 tobacco related deaths that occur in the U.S. each year are people who have a mental illness. NAMI Hearts & Minds was created to offer resources on quitting smoking and other healthy lifestyle choices that promote wellness in both mind and body.

So why is smoking common among people who live with mental illness? As Frank Vitale, the National Director of the Pharmacy Partnership for Tobacco Cessation, states in the webinar , smoking was often used as a reward in psychiatric hospitals. “The culture has promoted smoking in a sense,” he said. “I remember working in a psychiatric hospital and we were literally told to tell patients that if you take your medication you can smoke. Or if you go to group you can smoke.”

Helping individuals living with mental illness who smoke can produce a number of benefits. As described by Vitale in the webinar, there are six benefits.

  1. It can improve the overall quality of life.
  2. It can increase the length and number of healthy years of life.
  3. It can improve the effects of medication. Hydrocarbons, which are produced when anything is burned, cause the body to metabolize medications faster than you normally would. As a consequence, many people who smoke often need more medication than if they did not smoke. However, if the individual decides to quit, their clinician should be alerted so they can adjust the amount of medication the individual is receiving.
  4. It can decrease social isolation. Many people who don’t smoke are often hesitant to socialize with those who do.
  5. It can save money—lots of money. Cigarette packs cost nearly $8 in D.C. and upwards of $15 in Manhattan. Over the course of 50 years, if a person were to only smoke one pack of cigarettes a day, at $6 a pack, one would spend nearly $110,000.
  6. It helps promote recovery.

The problem is that there has been lack of focus on smoking cessation by mental health providers. Some providers believed that doing so caused an increased risk of relapse: symptoms would worsen or the individual would return to abusing drugs or alcohol. However, research has shown that there is no truth to either of these claims.

The truth, though, is that people want to quit. Nearly 75 percent of current smokers have said they want to quit and 65 percent have tried to quit in the last year. But sometimes you just need a little help. To learn more about the importance of quitting smoking and how peers can help, listen to a recording of the webinar online.

Thank You, Nami

This is a terrific post dealing with a major issue with those of us who struggle so hard, with mental illness. Think this through and let me know what you think. Pastor Bryan can be reached at,  flash99603@hotmail.com

“How I finally quit smoking!” A Great Blog and a Super Post.

http://wp.me/p1rYch-ZN

Hell and Hope

inferno

Sometimes, I feel like a tour guide for believers that are walking through hell. I point out the different strugglers, and urge each one not to linger too long but to keep moving. We look on those trapped (they have no hope within them) but we hope that they are yet to reach out for the Savior. It is distressing, and yet somehow we understand them just a little bit.

Our journey out and down each sad corridor can be painfully disturbing for us. There are so many different types of prisons and chains used to confine and control. Dante wrote his “Inferno” (Italian, for hell), and somehow he in some curious way walks through the different levels (varieties) of hell with us. Virgil (Dante’s own tour guide) takes Dante through some pretty hairy stuff, and they pass through the very gate, which bears an inscription, of the infamous phrase “Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch’intrate“, or “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.”

Our own rescue from this dreadful place is based on that singular word, “hope”. Somehow, hope has distilled inside us, and that alone can enable us to walk out as the freed. We have chosen not to abandon hope, but to use it as our passport out of the bottom of hell itself. We show it to each guardian, and then pass through without any hinderance.

  • And so at last the poor have hope. (Job 5:16)
  • Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. (Job 11:18)
  • Lord, you know the hopes of the helpless. Surely you will hear their cries and comfort them. (Ps. 10:17)
  • All day long I put my hope in you. (Ps. 25:5)
  • Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in you alone. (Ps. 33:22)
  • O Lord, you alone are my hope. (Ps. 71:5)
  • Your word is my source of hope. (Ps. 119:114)
  • “Listen to me, all who hope for deliverance— all who seek the Lord!” (Isa. 51:1)
  • And his name will be the hope of all the world.” (Matt. 12:21)
  • Even when there was no reason for hope, “Abraham kept hoping.” (Rom. 4:18)
  • We, too, wait with eager hope. (Rom. 8:23)
  • Rejoice in our confident hope. (Rom. 12:12)
  • The Scriptures give us hope and encouragement as we wait. (Rom. 15:4)
  • Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love. (1 Cor. 13:13)
  • That you can understand the confident hope he has given us. (Eph. 1:18)
  • Our hope is in the living God, who is the Savior of all. (1 Tim. 4:10)
  • In order to make certain that what you hope for will come true. (Heb. 6:11)
  • This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. (Heb. 6:19)
  • Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm. (Heb. 10:23)
  • They placed their hope in a better life after the resurrection. (Heb. 11:35)
  • You have placed your faith and hope in God. (1 Pet. 1:21)
  • If someone asks about your Christian hope. (1 Pet. 3:15)

I suppose we must say (it’s clear) that hope is what sets us free from the difficulty that rests in our minds. Whatever DSM-IV has branded us, whatever a psychiatrist has declared us to be, and whatever our therapist has told us– our hope, that’s in Christ, will open all doors that are closed and locked.

Hope really is the Christian’s freedom from hell. Those of us who have been freed from our incarceration from our mental illness are amazingly liberated. I know the lostness of being very much lost. But hope is everything. When our hope somehow connects with Jesus, our souls are set free. We walk out of hell, with our souls soaring clean.

kyrie elesion, Bryan

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