Category: darkness

Seeing Things from Both Sides

“The Great Depression” Sandstorm

There was a time when I was in the midst of major depression that I believed that surviving that deep darkness was the hardest thing I would ever do. And it was a great struggle. It was especially difficult to comprehend when people would say things like, “If you didn’t want to be depressed you wouldn’t be.” Or they would say, “Just snap out of it and be happy.” As if being depressed was a conscious choice when I knew that it was not.

In retrospect I can see that to some extent my depression was the result of conscious choices, but I had no idea those choices would lead me to the pit of darkness and despair. Once there, I still could not see that it had been my choices that brought me there and I was not able without the help of God to see my way out.

Yes, I once thought the pit of depression was the worst place I could ever be. But I have recently come to realize that there is another place that is, if not worse, at least as bad as being depressed. That place is standing beside a family member or loved one who is caught in the stranglehold of this terrible condition of the mind and soul, and not being able to help.

There is more than one person in my life right now who is struggling as I once did to be free of the darkness of depression. I long to simply reach in and pull them out, but I can’t. Having seen things from the other side, I do at least know what NOT to say, but I don’t always know what to say or do. I understand their pain and their struggle, and it hurts to see them in that place of despair and hopelessness that I once traveled.

Why do I share this observation? Because I want you who are suffering from depression to understand that your loved ones mean well and want what is best for you. Seeing you in pain and hopelessness is difficult for them, too.

The problem is they simply do not know what to do. We who are on the outside can pray and offer encouragement, but only God can truly rescue you from the pit and pull you from the depths of despair. Only our Savior Jesus offers the hope of Light eternal that will shine into the darkness and show you the way out.

I can tell you about how He shone His Light into my darkness and revealed the choices that led me there, but my experience and my choices may not be the same as yours. Only God sees into the heart of a person to know what healing they require. It is only the hope that Jesus brings that makes seeing the pain of a loved one struggling with depression bearable.

The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of deep darkness
a light has dawned.

Isaiah 9:2 (NIV).

Find Linda’s Home Page : http://lindakruschke.wordpress.com/
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Hope in the Darkness

Winter can be a particularly trying time for those who struggle with depression and bipolar disorder. The increased darkness outside can begin to reflect in our hearts and so increase the darkness within.

I know Pr. Bryan has posted here before about the challenge of winters in Alaska where the days are extremely short. But even in the Pacific Northwest, Seasonal Affective Disorder is a big problem. When you drive to work in very little light and drive home again in pitch dark, which is even darker when it is raining, it is hard to remember the long days of summer.

It is during this dark season that we must cling even more to the Light of Christ so that the darkness does not overcome us. We must cling to the faithfulness of our God who brings the sun every morning and the seasons in their turn, so that we know spring and summer will follow the darkness.

Thinking about this one dark night earlier this week, I wrote a poem, which I posted on my blog, Linda Kruschke’s Blog, as a Thankful Thursday post. I hope you like my ode to God’s promise of hope and light that stands firm even in the darkness, and that it reminds you of the hope we have in Jesus.

Hope in the Darkness

Sun sinks below the horizon
Darkness envelopes all life in my view
Each night the darkness comes sooner
Each morning the sun arises anew

This season, winter, brings darkness
It seems to engulf the light of my soul
Sometimes the darkness is deeper
And blacker than the blackest mine of coal

But winter does not last forever
Spring and summer bring sun ever near
Hope of a Light everlasting
Is all that my darkened soul needs to hear

In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

John 1:4-5 (NIV).

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Lonely, or Just Alone?

“Loneliness was the first thing that God saw that was not good”

John Milton

Are you lonely? It really doesn’t matter if you are married or single. Frankly, those who have a spouse can be powerfully affected by a sense of loneliness. (They obviously are pressured to suppress this.) But they truly feel very much alone.

When we find ourselves affected by this issue, we think a lot about being alone. We become an ‘island,’ isolated and separate, and the intense figure of this is the ‘castaway’ of those who, somehow end up completely alone on a deserted beach. 

There is nothing ‘romantic’ or ideal about this experience.

After a week, we start to feel the isolation. It creeps in on us, expands, and begins to ‘feed’ on our perceptions. And that can poison us.

To define it, to be lonely is the absence of human relationships. But to be alone is to be without connections.  They can overlap sometimes, but they are very separate issues. The unmarried 40-year-old could be free from loneliness, and the person who is married (with several kids) feels quite lonely.

We cannot attribute our ‘heart issues’ to our response to isolation.

Some will thrive, and others chafe. Many derive a sense of well-being by becoming married. Essentially they choose the fallacy that this may just solve their feeling of loneliness.  If I cut my hand, a band-aid will not heal the wound, it can only help (on a superficial level,) but the healing comes from within us.

There is a definite need to see the unique situation and understand how it does fluctuate. Things will move and our attitudes may change. We can cross back and forth, and that is quite understandable. But embedded sadness over being alone can be disastrous to a full and amazing life with Jesus.

“And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever.”

John 14:16, NASB.

We certainly need each other. That is ‘how we roll.’ But what is necessary and for certain is, “We are not alone, never.” The deep presence of Jesus can be profoundly close, and all we need is His nearness and our awareness, and it’s going to be ok.

There is so much we can do.

The first is to get real about the issues that are involved.  Go ahead and acknowledge the struggle you encountering.  Secondly, we need to admit the sin of harboring this, and even letting it to take control of our thinking. Thirdly, to actively turn away from sin, and then focus on Jesus as our dear companion and friend.

These three are just focal points. They will often take very different adjustments for each person. But they are definitely a starting point. Even as you work through this, allow the Holy Spirit to be your faithful guide.

 

When Demons Rule People

by Julie Anne Fidler, BB Weekly Contributor

   1 They went across the lake to the region of the Gerasenes.[a] 2 When Jesus got out of the boat, a man with an impure spirit came from the tombs to meet him. 3 This man lived in the tombs, and no one could bind him anymore, not even with a chain. 4 For he had often been chained hand and foot, but he tore the chains apart and broke the irons on his feet. No one was strong enough to subdue him. 5 Night and day among the tombs and in the hills he would cry out and cut himself with stones.

 6 When he saw Jesus from a distance, he ran and fell on his knees in front of him. 7 He shouted at the top of his voice, “What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? In God’s name don’t torture me!” 8 For Jesus had said to him, “Come out of this man, you impure spirit!”

 9 Then Jesus asked him, “What is your name?”

   “My name is Legion,” he replied, “for we are many.” 10 And he begged Jesus again and again not to send them out of the area.

 11 A large herd of pigs was feeding on the nearby hillside. 12 The demons begged Jesus, “Send us among the pigs; allow us to go into them.” 13 He gave them permission, and the impure spirits came out and went into the pigs. The herd, about two thousand in number, rushed down the steep bank into the lake and were drowned.

 14 Those tending the pigs ran off and reported this in the town and countryside, and the people went out to see what had happened. 15 When they came to Jesus, they saw the man who had been possessed by the legion of demons, sitting there, dressed and in his right mind; and they were afraid. 16 Those who had seen it told the people what had happened to the demon-possessed man—and told about the pigs as well. 17 Then the people began to plead with Jesus to leave their region.

 18 As Jesus was getting into the boat, the man who had been demon-possessed begged to go with him. 19 Jesus did not let him, but said, “Go home to your own people and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.” 20 So the man went away and began to tell in the Decapolis[b] how much Jesus had done for him. And all the people were amazed.

– Mark 5:1-20

I have often wondered about this demon-possessed man. The image is striking – he was held captive by demons, and yet no earthly chains could hold him. His behavior sounds familiar to many of us who have lived in the grip of mental illness. Crying out? Cutting himself? I’ve been there. I’ve done that. Is this a story about mental illness before anyone could prescribe drugs to treat it?

I think the wording of this story is especially interesting – the Bible here refers to the demons as “impure spirits.” The King James Version refers to the demons as “unclean spirits.” It seems to indicate that Satan is much more than horns and a pointy tail. “Unclean” and “impure” could mean so many things.

The first time someone suggested I might be dealing with some form of demonic oppression in my life I thought they were crazy. Horror films have made us believe that people who “have demons” always kill people with their minds or cause things to catch on fire by pure will. The Bible includes some scary images of demons, but Satan does his best work by being subtle. It’s a lot harder to believe in demons if they’re not spitting blood directly in your face.

Satan uses daily life against us. He uses our professional struggles to make us think we’re unworthy of success; he uses our financial problems to make us believe we’re not as good as other people; he uses our painful pasts to make us buy the lie that we will never be able to overcome who we used to be.

Mental illness alters the way we see ourselves and the world around us. It makes everything seem dark even though there is reason to rejoice. It robs us of stability and even the ability to reason. I truly believe that mental illness is the enemy’s way of fighting against everything that Jesus really wants us to be. What could be more impure or unclean than that?

The King James Version of verse 20 uses the word “publish” instead of “tell”. The man began to publish in the Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him. I can relate to the demon-oppressed man’s pain but I can also relate to his healing. Jesus might drive all of my demons into the bodies of pigs someday, but for now He has quieted my unquiet mind with the right medications, counseling, and a support system. I rejoice in that, and I publish how much Jesus has done for me.

That’s how we can kick the devil back – by being thankful that help is available. I am thankful that Jesus Christ has quieted the stormy seas in my soul. I know that Satan wants to use mental illness against me, and knowing your opponent is half the battle.

Get grounded in the truth, draw close to God, and let Him cleanse the impure and unclean things that have kept you bound but crying out for so long.

Julie Anne Fidler is a contributing writer for Brokenbelievers.com.  She comes with a humble and understanding heart for those with a mental illness.  Her writing gift is valued greatly.  Look for her post weekly, on this blog.   She keeps a personal ministry blog at www.mymentalhealthday.blogspot.com.  Read more there.