Life with Thorns

From desiringgod.org

Finding Strength in Physical Weakness

It’s easy to romanticize physical suffering — especially when you’re not the one experiencing it.

Saints like Amy Carmichael, who spent over twenty years bedridden, and Joni Eareckson Tada, a quadriplegic who lives in constant pain, can evoke peaceful images of unbroken communion with God. We may imagine that it’s easier for them to endure pain and weakness than it is for the rest of us.

Yet the reality of physical suffering is that it’s insistent and intrusive. No one gets used to it. Pain demands our attention. Time slows to a crawl, particularly in the middle of the night, when we’re begging God for the relief of sleep. We feel alone and isolated. No one else can enter the prison that our bodies have become.

Pain Accumulates

If that weren’t enough, physical pain rarely exists in isolation — it’s usually accompanied by loss, weakness, and dependence. Often, we require help with basic daily needs, and we worry about the burden we’re putting on others. We second-guess every request, not wanting to bother someone one more time. Will people get tired and think we’re “too much”? Do they resent their lack of freedom?

We longingly remember the carefree days before our physical struggles altered our lives, when we could do what we wanted. Now we measure our energy in teaspoons rather than buckets. We weigh every decision, every action. Saying yes to one activity means saying no to many others. It is hard not to envy those with fit bodies, who seem to have no cares.

Pain, loneliness, and longing can give way to depression and despair. We cry out to the Lord for relief, but relief doesn’t come. The cancer spreads. Sleep eludes us. The pain intensifies. The medicine stops working. The side effects multiply. Our caregivers grow weary. Our friends stop checking in. Our resources run dry.

Doubt Advances

The vibrant faith we once had begins to fade — which is exactly what Satan wants to happen as we suffer. He wants us to doubt and fall away from God, convinced that he is indifferent to our cries. Satan knows that we’re susceptible to discouragement when we’re physically depleted, so that’s when he attacks. As physical needs scream for attention, Satan whispers to us, “Does God even hear you, let alone really care for you? If he does, why isn’t he delivering you?”

Insidious doubts slip in, making us question beliefs we once held rock-solid: Are we deeply loved by an all-powerful Father? As soon as we recognize the mental shift, we need to stop and cry out to God, asking him to meet us in our sorrow, to deliver us from our pain, and to show us evidence of his goodness and love. Are we fixating on all that we’ve lost, on how God hasn’t delivered us, on how hopeless we feel? Or do we recognize that God is with us, working for our good, and caring for us each moment?

What we think about in the moments of our deepest pain is critical. Our mindset will determine how we approach the questions that bombard us. Here are three common questions I’ve asked:

  1. How can God be “for me” if I’m still suffering?
  2. How can God use my weakness for good?
  3. What good can come in moments of overwhelming pain?

How can God be ‘for me’ if I’m still suffering?

Sometimes God miraculously delivers us when we plead for relief, like at the parting of the Red Sea. Other times he sustains us, as he did with manna in the wilderness. The Red Sea deliverance freed the Israelites, but their need for manna kept them dependent on God. In gathering manna, they had a harder time forgetting their reliance on God. And if God’s greatest blessing is himself, then perhaps sustenance is a more precious gift than deliverance, since it can keep us in constant communion with him.

Take the apostle Paul. He begged God for deliverance from his thorn in the flesh, but instead he received grace — grace to bear the thorn, grace to be content with weakness, grace that would carry him through other trials as well (2 Corinthians 12:7–10).

When we realize that we can depend on God in our weakness, we learn to trust him in everything. Anyone can thank God for quick deliverance from physical suffering, but we often forget him until the next crisis. Yet when he sustains us in our pain, we’re confident that he is with us always.

How can God use my physical weakness for good?

We may think our physical weakness is keeping us from maximum fruitfulness, but that’s impossible. Our weaknesses are a part of God’s plan for our lives; they are intertwined with our calling. Paul thought his thorn was hampering his ministry, but God knew that it was the key to his strength: it forced Paul to be wholly dependent on God. When we are depleted and exhausted, lacking any resources of our own — it is then that we fully rely on God.

And in that reliance, we discover the power of God flowing through us — the same power that raised Jesus from the dead (Ephesians 1:19–20). This power keeps us enduring when we want to give up; it showcases God’s glory and brings lasting change. Because Paul relied on God’s provision, he accomplished more for the kingdom with his thorn than he could have without it. His greatest strength lay in his submission to Christ.

Even Jesus’s greatest strength appeared in his greatest physical weakness.

Throughout his ministry, Jesus impacted others by his actions. He calmed the storm with a word. He fed five thousand with a few loaves and fish. He cast out demons, healed the sick, and raised the dead. He turned the world upside down.

But at the end of his ministry, from the Last Supper on, Jesus allowed others to act upon him: he was led away, he was whipped and mocked, he was beaten and crucified. When he submitted to his captors, the crowds saw weakness rather than what was really there: Jesus’s strength and power.

Just before these horrific events, Jesus begged God to take the cup of suffering from him. But it was through Christ’s submission to the will of the Father — to torture and humiliation, to physical abuse and carrying his own cross — that God brought about the most astonishing display of his power and grace.

Article by Vaneetha Rendall Risner

Depression: A Few Questions

Here are things I’ve heard over the years that we must take a second look at. Here are some possible answers.

“There must be something wrong with your spiritual life.”

Yes, depression CAN be a result of sin. BUT depression is NOT always a result of sin! If it is, God will tell you loud and clear what the problem is. This saying piles on the guilt for the depressed Christian. It’s unlikely that their depression has a spiritual cause, and this implies that they are not good enough spiritually.  

“Repent and ask forgiveness for your sin!”

Depression is a result of sin, in that if there was no sin in the world depression wouldn’t exist. But then, neither would diabetes, cancer, or any other illness… Sin caused the world to be not-perfect, therefore illness exists. It’s a sin to be depressed, any more than it is to have any other illness. Depression can be used by God to encourage repentance, but in that case, it will be crystal clear exactly what sin you should repent of. If you don’t know or have just a vague sense of guilt, your depression is not the result of sin. 

You need to have more faith.” or  “Have faith in God.”

Hebrews 11:1, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” How much faith does it take to hold onto the Christian faith when emotions scream at you daily to give up, get out and turn against God? Very often a depressed Christian will be hanging onto faith by their fingernails in something that requires a ton of faith.  

“Taking antidepressants is playing God, He can heal you.”

Yes, God can heal. Sometimes he doesn’t just flick a switch to make the illness vanish, sometimes the healing comes through the conventional ways of doctors, psychiatrists, counselors, therapists, and medication. By persuading someone not to take their medicines in preference for a quick, supernatural healing that God may not have in store for them, the sufferer is being denied something that will help them, right now. 

“Scripture says everything that happens is for your own good!”

The actual verse found in Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” This verse in no way implies that the sufferer should sit back and accept the illness for the rest of their life. It also does not say that illnesses are not to be fought with the intention of a cure. While God may well have things to do with a depressed person, the illness is not a good thing itself, and it may take years before you see positive results from it.  

“You’ve been prayed for, why has nothing changed?”

This can be expressed in several ways and spoken by one of two different groups of people: either the person who asked for prayer or those who prayed for them. We’ll break the underlying situation into two areas: something definite was experienced in the prayer time: chains were obviously broken and new freedom gained, or, nothing apparently happened at all. That is, “I know God set you free,” why aren’t you free yet?

“Depression is a self-discipline problem.”

Self-discipline is important to a Christian. We have to be disciplined enough not to break the laws of the land, and to obey our God. But no amount of discipline will get rid of a medical problem. This statement implies that the sufferer is lazy and could become better by sheer force of will. This is not possible and causes a lot of guilt.

“You’re depressed because you choose to be.” 

Why would anyone choose depression? It is hell on earth. It destroys everything it touches. Families, marriages, jobs, churches, and ministries- faith, peace, hope, and love. Depression corrodes all that it touches.

Does a diabetic or cancer patient choose their disease? Does the blind or the deaf person wake up in the morning and decide they aren’t going to keep being handicapped? These are the questions I would ask.

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“You just need to rebuke that spirit of depression and tell it to leave you. Don’t let Satan steal your joy.”

There are two problems with this statement. One problem is the assumption that depression is caused by demonic oppression. The other problem is the assumption that joy and happiness are the same things. Blaming a “spirit of depression” can be a wonderful cop-out. Just cast out the spirit and you’re cured! No need for long-term support, prayer, counseling, or anything at all! And with this statement comes the implicit assumption that once again it’s your fault you’re depressed, this time because you’re not “spiritual” enough to get rid of the troublesome spirit yourself.

Yes, it is possible that demonic oppression can cause depression. No, demons are not responsible for every case of depression. Imagine what would happen if this statement was directed at someone with cancer, hemophilia, or osteoporosis (“Just cast out that demon attacking your bones and be strong again! God wants to see you running marathons!”).

The second problem with this statement is that joy is equated with happiness. People with depression are not going to be the happiest souls in the church. I’ve heard it said that happiness depends on what happens, whereas joy can exist in very unhappy situations.

“There’s no such thing as mental illness, it’s all in your mind”

Saying this denies that there is anything actually wrong with the depressed person, and implies that they are just making it up. This piles on the guilt again! A mental illness can be defined as one that affects the mind; the brain is allowed to get ill, just as the liver and lungs are.

“It’s your own fault you’re depressed”

This is the kind of thing that Job’s “comforters” said, and it didn’t help then either. Bad things can happen to good people. Denying this hurts the sufferer.

“Pull yourself together”

If you’ve been trying, someone saying this to you comes across as “You haven’t been trying hard enough, do more, and more, and more until you get it right.” So back you go, pushing more and more, and still getting nowhere because you cannot pull yourself out of depression by your bootstraps, and you can’t fix a medical problem by force of will.

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When God Doesn’t Heal You

Mike Mason

God heals. Of that I have no doubt. We have many promises and see so much actual healing in Scripture. Jesus’ ministry would connect with hundreds of people who would be physically touched. The Lord would pass the baton on to His Church. We’re called to “lay hands on the sick,” (James 5:14-15).

But not everyone who is sick will receive physical healing. Even those who were active in ministry knew sickness.

In the second episode of season 3 of “The Chosen,” Little James, who we’ve seen walks with a limp, comes to Jesus after He commissions the Apostles. He tells him he finds it hard to believe that he will be healing people, given that Jesus hasn’t healed him.

“Do you want to be healed?” asks Jesus.

“Yes, of course,” James says, “if that’s possible. Why haven’t you?” he asks Jesus—again, a question some of us would’ve asked.

“Because I trust you,” Jesus says. “Little James. Precious Little James. I need you to listen to me very carefully, because what I am going to say defines your whole life to this point and will define the rest of your life. Do you understand?”

Jesus tells James that he will heal many people, and they will have a good story to tell.

“To know how to proclaim that you still praise God in spite of this—to know how to focus on all that matters, so much more than the body—to show people that you can be patient with your suffering here on Earth, because you know you’ll spend eternity with no suffering—not everyone can understand that. How many people do you think the Father and I trust this with? Not many.”

“But the others,” James says, “they are so much more … stronger, better at this.”

“James, I love you,” Jesus says, “but I don’t want to hear that ever again.”

“I know how easy it is to say the Psalm of David, that I am beautifully and wonderfully made, but it doesn’t make this any easier,” says James, begins to weep. “It doesn’t make me feel like any less of a burden.”

“When you pass from this earth,” Jesus says to James, “and you meet your Father in Heaven, where Isaiah promises you will leap like a deer, your reward will be great. So hold on a little longer. And when you discover yourself finding true strength because of your weakness, when you do great things in my Name in spite of this, the impact will last for generations. Do you understand?”

James cries, and says, “Yes. Thank you, Master.”

I believe that there are two truths that every Christian can count on. These are solid, and completely trustworthy. They are forever fixed and will never change.

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4

     John Henry Newman  

Crisis Hotlines

Our List of Hotlines and 1-800 Phone Numbers and Websites

This list comes from brokenbelievers.com and is updated (we’re trying anyway.) We are not responsible for the validity of this info. These numbers, hotlines or texts may or may not work. We’re constantly adjusting/adding to this resource. As far as we know, this is the U.S. only for phone numbers. Additionally, many of these have regular office hours, and some are not staffed at night. Also, use this resource with caution.

This list isn’t complete yet.  If you have a contact that isn’t here, please email me that information.  I’m Bryan Lowe at slowe299@yahoo.com or brokenbelievers.com.

Mostly, these are organizations and ministries that are there when life gets challenging.  Use these phone numbers wisely, and I would encourage you to pray for those who are counseling you.  Also, I am not able to check each number.  These numbers are to be used with some precaution as a result. They may change without notice. This list was updated 11/28/23.

In general, these hotlines have three things in common:

1) they are available to call 24/7 in the USA
2) they are 100% confidential
3) they are free

If you are experiencing a medical emergency, are in danger, or are feeling very suicidal, call 911 immediately.

Suicide Hotline: 988

988 Lifeline Chat:

https://988lifeline.org/chat/

Los servicios de llamada, texto, y chat de 988 Lifeline se ofrecen en español.

Main Helpline: 988

Crisis Text: 741-741

Chat 24/7 at http://www.thehopeline.com

General and Suicidal Prevention Numbers

  • Main suicide prevention line: 988
  • 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or TTY 1-800-799-4TTY (4889)
  • Spanish, Red Nacional de Prevencion del Suicidio 1-888-628-9454
  • Los servicios de llamada, texto, y chat de 988 Lifeline se ofrecen en español.
  • Veterans Suicide Prevention: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and press 1
  • Suicide Hotline Listings by State http://www.suicidehotlines.com
  • Veterans Suicide Hotline, 1-800-273-8255
  • Online Chat, 24/7: https://988lifeline.org/chat/

More General Numbers

  • General needs 24/7: 1-888-NEEDHIM
  • NAMI Hotline, 1-800-950-6264
  • Suicide Hotline, 1-800-273-8255
  • DGCC Prayer Line, 708-512-7011, (can Skype also)
  • Prayer and General Counseling www.prayerandhope.org, 1-866-599-2264
  • New Life Clinics 1-800-NEW-LIFE
  • National Prayer Line 1-800-4-PRAYER
  • Bethany Lifeline Pregnancy Hotline 1-800-BETHANY
  • Liberty Godparent Ministry 1-800-368-3336
  • The 700 Club Hotline 1-800-759-0700
  • Want to know Jesus? 1-888-NEED-HIM
  • Biblical help for youth in crisis 1-800-HIT-HOME
  • Rapha National Network 1-800-383-HOPE
  • Emerge Ministries 330-867-5603
  • Meier Clinics 1-888-7-CLINIC or 1-888-725-4642
  • Pine Rest 1-800-678-5500
  • Timberline Knolls 1-877-257-9611

Abortion Help & Counseling

Abuse of Any Kind

  • National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
  • Stop it Now! 1-888-PREVENT
  • United States Elder Abuse Hotline 1-866-363-4276
  • National Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-4-A-CHILD (422-4453)
  • Child Abuse Hotline / Dept of Social Services 1-800-342-3720
  • Child Abuse National Hotline 1-800-25ABUSE
  • Children in immediate danger 1-800-THE-LOST
  • The exploitation of Children 1-800-843-5678
  • Missing Children Help Center, Thursday’s Child, 1-800-USA-KIDS
  • http://www.ThursdaysChild.org

Helpline – Provides referrals to local facilities where adolescents and adults can seek help. Brief intervention only, 1-800-821-4357

Drug & Alcohol

  • Alcohol Treatment Referral Hotline (24 hours) 1-800-252-6465
  • Families Anonymous 1-800-736-9805
  • Cocaine Hotline (24 hours) 1-800-262-2463
  • Cocaine National Hotline 1-800-COCAINE
  • Drug Abuse National Helpline 1-800-662-4357
  • National Association for Children of Alcoholics 1-888-554-2627
  • Ecstasy Addiction 1-800-468-6933
  • Alcoholics for Christ 1-800-441-7877

Battered Women

  • Friends of Battered Women or Children, 1-800-603-HELP
  • Domestic Abuse, 1-800-799-7233

Bullying

Cancer

  • American Cancer Society 1-800-227-2345
  • National Cancer Institute 1-800-422-6237
  • Cancer Information Service: 800-422-6237
  • http://www.cancer.org

Caregivers

  • Elder Care Locator 1-800-677-1116
  • Well Spouse Foundation 1-800-838-0879

Child Abuse

  • Child Abuse National Hotline, call 1-800-252-2873, 1-800-25ABUSE
  • Child Abuse: To report call 1-800-4-A-CHILD
  • Children in immediate risk or danger 1-800-THE-LOST
  • CyberTipline for reporting the exploitation of children, 1-800-843-5678
  • Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline Call 1-800-422-4453 (24/7)
  • National Safe Place  Text SAFE and your current location to the number 69866 (24/7)
  • Child Abuse Hotline, 1-800-422-4453
  • Center for Missing or Exploited Children, 1-800-843-5678

Crisis Numbers for Teens (Under 18)

  • Girls and Boys town 1-800-448-3000
  • Hearing Impaired 1-800-448-1833
  • Youth Crisis Hotline 1-800-448-4663
  • Teen Hope Line 1-800-394-HOPE

Crisis Numbers for Help (Any age)

  • United Way Crisis Helpline 1-800-233-HELP
  • Covenant House Hotline: 800-999-9999
  • Christian Oriented Hotline 1-877-949-HELP
  • Social Security Administration 1-800-772-1213

Crisis Pregnancy Helpline

  • Crisis Pregnancy Hotline Number 1-800-67-BABY-6
  • Liberty Godparent Ministry 1-800-368-3336

Cult Information

Cutting

  • SAFE (Self-Abuse Finally Ends) 1-800-DONT-CUT, 1-800-366-8288

Depression 

  • National Suicide Prevention Helpline 1-800-273-8255 (1-800-273-TALK)
  • National Hopeline Network 1-800-784-2433 (1-800-SUICIDE) http://www.hopeline.com/
  • The Trevor Project, 866-488-7386 (24/7) Live Chat  with the Trevor Project (Fridays 4pm- 5pm EST)

Domestic Violence

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE
  • National Domestic Violence Hotline Spanish 1-800-942-6908
  • Battered Women and their Children 1-800=603-HELP
  • Elder Abuse Hotline 1-800-252-8966
  • RAINN 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

Eating Disorders

  • Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention 1-800-931-2237
  • Eating Disorders Center 1-888-236-1188
  • National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders 1-847-831-3438
  • Remuda Ranch 1-800-445-1900
  • National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Eating Disorders
    630-577-1330, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. EST, Monday to Friday, http://www.anad.org

Elder Abuse

  • Elder Abuse Hotline 1-800-252-8966

Family Violence

  • Family Violence Prevention Center 1-800-313-1310

Gambling

  • Compulsive Gambling Hotline 410-332-0402

General Issues and Problems

  • CBN, 700 Club,  Call our 700 Club Prayer Center, or http://www.CBN.com , 1-800-823-6053

Homeless/Shelters

  • Homeless 1-800-231-6946
  • American Family Housing 1-888-600-4357

Homosexual/Lesbian

  • Helpline: 1-800-398-GAYS
  • Gay and Lesbian National Hotline 1-888-843-4564
  • Trevor Hotline (Suicide) 1-866-4-U-TREVOR

Online Issues

Cyber Crime Response Agency has a 24-hour call center for reporting online crime and online predators. 1-888-798-2272.

Parents

  • Hotline for parents considering abducting their children 1-800-A-WAY-OUT
  • The United States Missing Children Hotline 1-800-235-3535

Poison

  • Emergency: 911
  • Poison Control 1-800-942-5969
  • Poison Control: 1-800-222-1222

Porn Addiction

Pregnant & Scared?

Runaways

  • Boystown National Hotline 1-800-448-3000
  • Laurel House 1-714-832-0207
  • National Runaway Switchboard 1-800-621-4000
  • Teenline 1-888-747-TEEN
  • Youth Crisis Hotline 1-800-448-4663
  • Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline, 1-800-422-4453 (24/7)
  • National Safe Place  Text SAFE and your current location to the number 69866 (24/7)
  • National Runaway Switchboard Call 1-800-786-2929, (24/7) Live Chat  with the Veterans Crisis Line (24/7)

Salvation

  • Grace Help Line 24-Hour Christian Service 1-800-982-8032
  • Want to know Jesus? 1-888-NEED-HIM
  • Eternal Life Line 1-888-KNOW-Him, http://www.theFathersFriends.org

Self-Injury, “Cutting”

  • S.A.F.E. (Self Abuse Finally Ends) 1-800-DONT-CUT

Sexual Abuse

Sexual Addiction & Porn

  • Focus on the Family 1-800-A-FAMILY

Suicide, 9-1-1

  • Emergency, dial 9-1-1
  • Suicide Hotline 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)
  • 1-800-723-TALK (8255)
  • Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-827-7571
  • Deaf Hotline 1-800-799-4TTY
  • NineLine 1-800-999-9999
  • Holy Spirit Teenline  1-800-722-5385
  • Crisis Intervention 1- 888- 596-4447
  • Crisis Intervention 1-800-673-2496
  • Suicide Prevention hotline 1-800-273-825
  • Feel like someone is thinking about suicide, 1-800-273-8255
  • Check out, Heartcrossers: http://www.heartcrossers.org

The American Counseling Association recommends:

“Five Ways to Help with Coping AFTER a Crisis Situation.”

  1. Recognize your own feelings about the situation and talk to others about your fears. Know that these feelings are a normal response to an abnormal situation.
  2. Be willing to listen to family and friends who have been affected and encourage them to seek counseling if necessary.
  3. Be patient with people; fuses are short when dealing with a crisis and others may be feeling as much stress as you.
  4. Recognize normal crisis reactions, such as sleep disturbances and nightmares, withdrawal, reverting to childhood behaviors, and trouble focusing on work or school.
  5. Take time with your children, spouse, life partner, friends, and co-workers to do something you enjoy.

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”

(Philippians 1:6, NLT)

This resource is found at brokenbelievers.com and is subject to change at any given moment. You may email us at commentsbb@yahoo.com. You may copy this (in its entirety please) and distribute it freely.

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