“The star appeared again, they could hardly contain themselves: They were in the right place! They had arrived at the right time!”
Matthew 2:10-11, MSG
Today is Epiphany...the day we commemorate the revelation of Christ to the three wise men who came from a foreign land. They saw the manifestation of the star over Bethlehem and connected it to prophecy.
But it was all far more than simply following prophecy and eastern mysticism.
Who else but God could transform their Gentile devotion to reveal to their hearts and minds the awesome reality of a living and breathing human God. He was now being cradled in the arms of a human mother, and guarded by a human father? He is now God with us.
It is the same power of God that realizes an epiphany in us of who He is and converts our empty spirit into the home of the very Holy Spirit…God Himself!
I have grown in my spirit and walked the healing path intertwined with my walk with Jesus. Over time He has made known to me, His desires for all of His children, to continue to give us epiphany moments.
He wants to open our eyes and allow us to realize that it’s Him in us that really matters.
We all have dark closets in our lives that often we are not aware of. As a survivor of abuse, it seems I had to experience unique issues. For healing to happen, I have to allow Jesus access to those basements. It is difficult for anyone to admit they have a dark place that hasn’t been fully turned over to God.
Places where we go to sin, make excuses, hide, plaster a smile over the pain, walk-in anger, fear, and lies. Often we’re still in the dark because subconsciously we’ve justified what is there. Jesus can and does reveal it to us when we are ready.
He makes us ready when we continue to submit to Him and ask Him to show us those places.
I know I don’t deal with people very well. I feel quite stressed working with the public. I am an introvert so that explains some of that. Sometimes people have disrespected me, perhaps aggravated me in some small way. I have found some resentment inside that I can’t explain but that I don’t want to hinder me.
I also have a deep well of anger that I can’t connect to specif1c events. I’m inordinately angry with my therapist and sometimes others who are trying to help me. The offenses loom larger than any good things that have come out of these relationships.
This is not uncommon for survivors of various types of abuse.
Having survived abuse, I discover a few altars I still can’t integrate. Perhaps I can’t link with anyone but there are others who need to hear my unique story. I admit that I don’t always like my therapist. But these things need to be dealt with. Each needs to be framed within the truth.
Sometimes it’s because I don’t like being told what’s wrong, I realize I can do the “now things. ” It’s these things God has chosen to heal me. Maybe that’s why I like an epiphany.
“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” –ESV
“Teach us how short our lives really are so that we may be wise.” –NLT
“Oh! Teach us to live well! Teach us to live wisely and well!”– MSG
Psalm 90:12, three different translations
Growing up we must learn different things.
We’re taught the alphabet, how to brush our teeth and use deodorant. We need to be educated, or tutored into many different skills. Our teachers direct and guide us, they provide for us an understanding of the skills we need to acquire. As we advance through their instruction, we grow in proficiency.
The Psalmist comes to the realization that he needs to develop a particular skill. He desperately wants to craft his life to be honorable and obedient. He turns to God and seeks His aid. The psalmist seeks a ‘teacher’ who will instruct him.
Our own lives are often chaotic and foolish.
We live in a great deal of ignorance, strained relationships and bad decisions. Most definitely we are ‘saved by faith,’ but the course of our lives can still be difficult. There is much to be learned in the spiritual world. We’ll make many mistakes.
The author of Psalm 90 doesn’t want to continue doing stupid things. He has a need, and he is pretty adamant that God will help him. Part of what he understands is that he needs to get ahold of the reality of the ‘shortness’ of his life. That’s a good start.
He must understand that he has a limited lifespan–an expiration date.
He refuses the deception that life will just always continue unfolding. He doesn’t buy it. He counts on God to pace him, and to keep him from recklessly wasting his life. He is asking for restraints. He must learn to say “no” and say “yes” to many things.
I encourage you to consciously make this step. Be deliberate in this. If we lack wisdom, we need to ask Him for it. Apart from His presence, our lives grow increasingly irrational. Living without restraints will lead us into more foolishness and despair. We must learn to say “no.”
“Making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.”
Every now and then, I come across something that will not fit into the scope of Brokenbelievers. This is one of those times. I share it with my brothers and sisters who serve Jesus in any leadership capacity in the Church. I think it’s fitting that this be shared as we step into 2022. These are challenging times to serve him; but not dangerous–at least not yet.
The Prayer of a Minor Prophet was originally written on August 18, 1920. It still means a lot to ordained/non-ordained serving in the ministry. I suppose it still speaks to every leader in every Church. You may want to copy and keep this for those hard times that will come to each of us.Could it be that you might want to share this word with the leaders of your local fellowship?
The article was written on the day of Tozer’s ordination into the ministry.
O Lord, I have heard Thy voice and was afraid. Thou has called me to an awesome task in a grave and perilous hour. Thou art about to shake all nations and the earth and also heaven, that the things that cannot be shaken may remain. O Lord, my Lord, Thou has stooped to honor me to be Thy servant. No man taketh this honor upon himself save he that is called of God as was Aaron. Thou has ordained me Thy messenger to them that are stubborn of heart and hard of hearing. They have rejected Thee, the Master, and it is not to be expected that they will receive me, the servant.
1897-1963
My God, I shall not waste time deploring my weakness nor my unfittedness for the work. The responsibility is not mine, but Thine. Thou has said, “I knew thee – I ordained thee – I sanctified thee,” and Thou hast also said, “Thou shalt go to all that I shall send thee, and whatsoever I command thee thou shalt speak.” Who am I to argue with Thee or to call into question Thy sovereign choice? The decision is not mine but Thine. So be it, Lord. Thy will, not mine, be done.
Well do I know, Thou God of the prophets and the apostles, that as long as I honor Thee Thou will honor me. Help me therefore to take this solemn vow to honor Thee in all my future life and labors, whether by gain or by loss, by life or by death, and then to keep that vow unbroken while I live.
It is time, O God, for Thee to work, for the enemy has entered into Thy pastures and the sheep are torn and scattered. And false shepherds abound who deny the danger and laugh at the perils which surround Thy flock. The sheep are deceived by these hirelings and follow them with touching loyalty while the wolf closes in to kill and destroy. I beseech Thee, give me sharp eyes to detect the presence of the enemy; give me understanding to see and courage to report what I see faithfully. Make my voice so like Thine own that even the sick sheep will recognize it and follow Thee.
Lord Jesus, I come to Thee for spiritual preparation. Lay Thy hand upon me. Anoint me with the oil of the New Testament prophet. Forbid that I should be come a religious scribe and thus lose my prophetic calling. Save me from the curse that lies dark across the modern clergy, the curse of compromise, of imitation, of professionalism. Save me from the error of judging a church by its size, its popularity or the amount of its yearly offering. Help me to remember that I am a prophet – not a promoter, not a religious manager, but a prophet. Let me never become a slave to crowds. Heal my soul of carnal ambitions and deliver me from the itch for publicity. Save me from bondage to things. Let me not waste my days puttering around the house. Lay Thy terror upon me, O God, and drive me to the place of prayer where I may wrestle with principalities and powers and the rulers of the darkness of this world. Deliver me from overeating and late sleeping. Teach me self-discipline that I may be a good soldier of Jesus Christ.
I accept hard work and small rewards in this life. I ask for no easy place. I shall try to be blind to the little ways that could make life easier. If others seek the smoother path I shall try to take the hard way without judging them too harshly. I shall expect opposition and try to take it quietly when it comes. Or if, as sometimes it falleth out to Thy servants, I should have grateful gifts pressed upon me by Thy kindly people, stand by me then and save me from the blight that often follows. Teach me to use whatever I receive in such manner that will not injure my soul nor diminish my spiritual power. And if in Thy permissive providence honor should come to me from Thy church, let me not forget in that hour that I am unworthy of the least of Thy mercies, and that if men knew me as intimately as I know myself they would withhold their honors or bestow them upon others more worthy to receive them.
And now, O Lord of heaven and earth, I consecrate my remaining days to Thee; let them be many or few, as Thou wilt. Let me stand before the great or minister to the poor and lowly; that choice is not mine, and I would not influence it if I could. I am Thy servant to do Thy will, and that will is sweeter to me than position or riches or fame and I choose it above all things on earth or in heaven.
Though I am chosen of Thee and honored by a high and holy calling, let me never forget that I am but a man of dust and ashes, a man with all the natural faults and passions that plague the race of men. I pray Thee, therefore, my Lord and Redeemer, save me from myself and from all the injuries I may do myself while trying to be a blessing to others. Fill me with Thy power by the Holy Spirit, and I will go in Thy strength and tell of Thy righteousness, even Thine only. I will spread abroad the message of redeeming love while my normal powers endure.
Then, dear Lord, when I am old and weary and too tired to go on, have a place ready for me above, and make me to be numbered with Thy saints in glory everlasting. Amen.
AMEN.
Written in 1950, Aiden Wilson Tozer was 23 years old when he was called to pastor a new church in Clarksburg, West Virginia. On August 18, 1920 at a campground a few miles outside Cleveland, Ohio, leaders of the Christian and Missionary Alliance scheduled an ordination service.
After the formal ceremony, Tozer slipped away from the crowd and found a quiet place to be alone with God. He never forgot what he prayed that evening and years later as the new editor for the Alliance Weekly, Tozer published his prayer in an article “For Pastors Only: Prayer of a Minor Prophet” (May 6, 1950).
“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”
2 Corinthians 12:9, NLT
“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.”
— C.S. Lewis
I think I am often a creature of habit, far more than I’d like to admit. I rather think we choose our habits and inclinations. They, in turn, decide our paths. But I suppose we give ourselves too much credit, to decide and direct. Simply put, we are not that big. I honestly don’t think we have the power to steer our lives the way we like. That is what I’m thinking about today anyway.
Somebody once told me, “The purpose of life is not to find your freedom, but to find your master.”
I don’t live that way, at least my inner propensity does not include God. Did you ever think something like this? “I wish God did not exist. I want to be in charge, and I want to do, how I want to do, when I want to do it!”
Living it all with no rules and no accountability! Somehow I still seem to find myself sitting on my throne. I like this!
But as we get older, our hair goes gray and we look in the mirror and see bags and wrinkles, we realize how vulnerable and how tenuous life really is. If we are honest and sufficiently self-aware, we understand that we will never be able to seize control of the known universe.
“Life is what happens while you are making other plans,”John Lennon observed.
It seems that reality springs on you, and you have this bolt out of the blue that shocks you to the core. Life has happened, and you didn’t even realize it.
I sometimes look at myself in the mirror, not in vanity, but in steady amazement. The ugly tattoos, and the ‘track marks’ are from another life. I have scars on my wrists from a couple of suicide attempts. I have an amazing surgical zipper scar from a brain tumor. I have severe ataxia that makes me walk with a cane. I have lost the use of my right hand in an accident. But I am also learning how to be broken. And everything that has happened has happened for a reason.
C.S. Lewis once said, “Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn.”
I sense that he did learn, otherwise he couldn’t have said that.
Re-reading this I decided that I ramble a lot. Forgive me. Maybe there is scrap or two in it for someone.
Broken Believers 