My Pretend Jesus [Reality]

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Question. Is the real you, touching the “real Jesus?”

For some time now, I am asking myself this simple question. I’ve had some convicting  moments as I swirled this question around in my heart. There is no condemnation in this; believe me– it’s just a question (But I think it has pretenses of being more.)

First, I truly believe that God does not hide Himself the way we might think He does. As new covenant people; those purchased through Jesus’ death and resurrection, there is no room for doubt about this. We now truly have access into the very throne room. We are free to come and go, according to our desire.

Second, I’m starting to realize that I want to approach Him, but I draw back in fear, guilt and doubt. I hide in the bushes when I hear Him approaching (sound familiar?) And although I have assurance that Jesus wants me, I’m not fully convinced that He likes being with me– deep down.

And I’m not sure I always like Him. So, all too often, I creep up (in my creepy kind of way) and try to get enough of His Holy Spirit, without getting pulled into anything too authentic. I’m of the (false) opinion that He will demand something for me I won’t like.

In the C.S. Lewis book, “The Silver Chair” we are introduced to Jill. She is thirsty, she looks for water and finds it in a nearby stream. But, there is a difficult problem. You see the lion Aslan is very close, and to drink would make her vulnerable. The Lion speaks. He invites her to come and drink all the water she wants. She stalls. He waits. The thirst quickly intensifies until she can think of nothing else.

I have a ‘Jill-heart.’  God is present, and quite eager for me to come satisfy my thirst. But it terrifies me to become open and vulnerable. It is hard. It seems I still have to work through this issue.

Sometimes, I find I construct a modified Jesus to allow me to cope with this problem. He is not the real Jesus, and somehow I know this. But encountering the real is a bit too much. So I have a Jesus that is really kind, and never corrects me. He lets me get away with a lot of things. And I don’t have to have contact with the homeless or tithe. I admit I’m fairly comfortable with Him. (He is like me, but more “god-like.”)

OK, new thought. Many centuries ago, a monk by the name of Lawrence wrote the classic book,  The Practice of the Presence of God. In it he directs the seeker to be in habitual awareness of God. And I’m thinking about this. I know it’s really not a fluid or unending experience, but throughout my day I take a moment and invite Jesus to come closer. And, it’s best if you don’t turn “the means into the end.” After  all, its the presence of God we seek– and not the mechanics of seeking.  Big difference.

I have gotten very dissatisfied with my fake Jesus. He’s not a bad guy, but he is only a “knock-off,” an imitation– an imaginary Jesus.

I’m coming to this place where I want the real Jesus– in contact with the real me, as often as I can. For years I have dodged Him, ducking in alleys and in dark places. I have propped up a Jesus that I found easier. Those days are done, I hope.

Question. Is the real you touching the “real” Jesus?

ybic, Bryan

 

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The Sinning Servant

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God responds to our personal falterings in an amazing way. The prophet Elijah had experienced considerable fireworks in his ministry. One could easily dismiss an incident when he failed big time.

“Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2 Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “So may the gods do to me and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by this time tomorrow.” 3 Then he was afraid, and he arose and ran for his life and came to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there.”

1 Kings 19:1-3, ESV

Up to this time:

  1. Elijah was coming off Mt. Carmel having witnessed fire from heaven.
  2. The 450 prophets of Baal had been executed.
  3. Rain was coming through his prayer, the long drought was ending.

Things seemed right on track for a nationwide revival. Life was good for Elijah, and for the Kingdom of Israel. “Laissez les bons temps rouler.”

But Queen Jezebel wasn’t about to give up her stranglehold on the kingdom. She threatens Elijah. A messenger is dispatched to him; and Elijah is completely intimidated. He reacts by running as fast as he can to get away. The prophet known for boldness and miracles flees for his life into the wilderness.

What was it about Jezebel that caused such a frantic and irrational move? Why didn’t Elijah’s faith stand this test? He had been in stickier places.

“But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.”

1 Kings 19:4

Fear and fatigue were working on Elijah’s mind. This is a fact, if you’re acting unscripturally you will behave irrationally.

God ministers to his sinning servant with a powerful and formidable gentleness. It takes awhile for Elijah to react to this tenderness. But there is a no condemnation, no recrimination, no words of rebuke; all we hear is God’s still small voice. God doesn’t chide, but quietly asks his prophet to consider. All Elijah does is accept a certain grace. That’s it.

“And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 

1 Kings 19:13

Fear, defeat, and self-pity were real issues for Elijah (the man of God). Scripture tells us that, “Elijah was a man with a nature like ours” (James 5:17). We are not machines, but mere men who falter and trip. That is good to remember.

In 2 Corinthians 12:10 Paul comments, “For when I am weak, then I am strong.” The Gospel is predicated on human weakness and flaws. It reaches us consistently where we need it most. The God of Elijah still whispers to broken hearts.

aabryscript

 

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Get Away From Me

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 “And the crowd began pleading with Jesus to go away and leave them alone.”            

Mark 5:17

This has to be one of the saddest verses in the whole of scripture.  Yet, it is so true today.  People refuse the only presence of him who can save and deliver.  The very idea of the powerful Jesus creates too many waves, and the implications go beyond what can be envisioned.  It is so much turmoil, and so much has to be dealt with. 

Quite frankly, ‘it is better if he would leave us alone.’ These people have no issues regarding what Jesus can do.  They have seen it with their own eyes.  They understand more than I.  Yet they choose to have Jesus leave, and not come back.  He creates far too many problems, and they don’t want their lives disrupted.  “I beg you sir, please leave us alone.”

This is very often the issue in our world today.  Communities try to make “a no-Jesus zones” such as taverns, and casinos, media, ‘porn parlors.’ They find themselves in conflict with Jesus. There is a suppression of goodness in a society, and the truth becomes slandered and mocked. But the core issue is often the deliberate blindness of those who, by their rejection, claim their allegiance to the dark.

To ask Jesus to leave, is to invite darkness to follow.  There can be no vacuum.  If he is not present and active, darkness is sure to pour in.  There is so much at stake here.  It essentially boils down into a quasi-apocalyptic issues.  Evil begins to triumph, and darkness tries to pour into the throne room. 

But asking Jesus to leave us alone creates a brand new set of problems. All too often (way too often) we stumble with what we think is quite important. We exalt the reasoning power of our intellect.  We feel that we should not be manipulated or controlled.  We bar the Holy Spirit‘s activity.  We don’t want to see or hear of it.  We create a dark immunity that hides us from reality.

The heart of Jesus looks for us—- you and me.  He very much wants to reside with us, and teach us out of this wicked trap.  His love is quite real, and it is an intense power that enters into our weakness without judgement or condemnation.  We must invite him to come.  We need to become hospitable and welcoming to the Lord. We need Jesus.

Discipleship for the Brokenhearted

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“Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering.

There is a crack in everything.

That’s how the light gets in.”

 –Leonard Cohen, Anthem

“A crack in everything.” As a broken person I appreciate hearing the wisdom of this particular poet. I am intensely aware of being very different then others. I worked my way through college frying donuts and it was a challenge. After about six months my boss was telling everyone that, “Bryan is one of the most eccentric people I have ever met.”

I was not trying to be odd, or eccentric. I was taking “Greek” at the time and knew that eccentric was a contraction (of ek, meaning “off, or the one side,” and “centros,” meaning, “center”). He was basically saying that I was “off centered”. That really troubled me because I always felt like I was a very well-balanced person and fit in.

The above poem tells us certain things, it holds a simple truth. First, there are bells that can’t be used, they don’t work anymore. Second, we need to “get real” and to understand that “a perfect offering” is beyond our capability.

Maybe 20 years ago idealism would’ve carried the day for us. But, as we get older, we have figured out a thing or two, but by the time you turn 50, you start carrying a total other awareness of things. By then we see the cracks in everything, nothing has gone by untouched, or unscathed.


But the poet states a paradoxical truth, “that’s how the light gets in.” To learn this is to turbocharge your recovery. It takes your recognition of the reality of being a broken person. It also summons up a discernment of how we must grow spiritually.

I find that the broken, weak, burned-out people are closer to the Kingdom then the strong, suave and gifted. This is an incredible truth, we must see our brokenness is in all the right places. You see, that is how the light gets in.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
    he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”

Psalm 34:18

ybic, Bryan

 

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