Category: failure

“Depression Deceptions,” by James Winsor

“Pilgrim’s Progress” by Bunyan

Bryan’s Note: On many occasions I encounter a blog that communicates so well that I think about doing a re-post.  Today is one of those days. So, here is Pastor Winsor’s exceptional article on depression.  I hope that his perspective will bless you and give you a deeper understanding of this mental illness.

 

Depression Deceptions by Rev. James Winsor
Lots of people these days suffer from depression. Many of them are Christians. If you suffer from depression, I hope the following information helps you. If you don’t suffer from depression, then maybe this will assist you in understanding and helping those who do. Here is a list of three Depression Deceptions to avoid.

 

Deception #1: If you’re depressed, you’re not a strong Christian. 

On August 2, 1527, Martin Luther wrote these words in a letter to a close friend: “l have been thrown more than a whole week into death and tossed back and forth in hell.. .I have lost Christ totally and have been shaken by the floods and storms of desperation and of blasphemy against God.”Even strong, mature Christians like Martin Luther can suffer from depression. Depression is not a sign of unbelief or weak faith. It’s a sign of spiritual battle, and battles are for healthy soldiers.

This is a sin-sick world. You’d be crazy not to be depressed sometimes!

Deception #2: No one would understand. 

Holy Scripture tells Christians to “bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). We’re told to “mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). God doesn’t want you to carry your depression alone. God makes sure there are Christians around who understand.

You don’t have to be alone in your depression. Not all Christians will understand it, but some will. You just have to take a few risks until you find the ones who have experienced depression themselves and will understand what you’re going through. Your fellowship with those Christians will be tight. You may even end up being glad the depression brought the two of you together.

Deception #3: Depression is a Useless Detour in the Christian Life.

God has a purpose for the depression that falls on His children. In an Old Testament passage we’re told that “an evil spirit from the Lord tormented King Saul” (1 Samuel 16:14). God had anointed David to be Saul’s replacement as king. God wanted to save Saul’s eternal soul, but He also wanted to replace him as king. So God sent David as a music therapist for Saul. “Whenever the spirit from God came upon Saul, David would take his harp and play. Then relief would come to Saul; he would feel better, and the evil spirit would leave him” (1 Samuel 16:23).

God gave Saul a problem and sent David as the solution. Saul might have done the obvious thing – thank God for David and support him! But instead Saul tried to kill David because he was jealous of him. Saul missed the opportunity his depression offered him. He rejected both his depression and David as gifts from God.

St. Paul, on the other hand, had a similar experience of evil sent from God for a good purpose. He responded the right way and received the suffering as a gift from God. Paul wrote, “There was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.. .When I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10).

God presented Paul with a problem. Then He presented him with the solution, grace in Christ. Paul learned to be thankful for his weaknesses because his weaknesses made him need Christ.

Depression does that to and for you. It leaves you with nothing to hang onto, but Jesus. When you’re depressed, you can’t find anything inside to place hope in. All that exists is darkness and emptiness. You come to find your hope in something outside of you: Christ and His cross and pardon.

That’s not a detour from the Christian life. That is the Christian life, God has you right where He wants you.

I was really depressed one day. I told a pastor friend of mine, “Sometimes I don’t know whether I’m saved. All I know is that I have a Savior.” God had me right where He wanted me. I could actually rejoice in my weakness. Suddenly all I had was Christ. And, in a way, you don’t have Christ until Christ is all you have.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” 

Galatians 6:2

“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” 

Romans 12:15

NOTE: If you can’t seem to shake your feelings of sadness and depression after a few weeks, seek out help right away. Talk to your parents, a counselor, or your doctor to help you deal with these overwhelming emotions.

 

 

The Rev. James Winsor is pastor at Risen Christ Lutheran Church in Arvada, Colorado.

 

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Taken from the Spring 2002 edition of Higher Things magazine. You can write Higher Things at P.O. Box 58011, Pleasant Prairie, WI 53158-8011.

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When You’re Out of Control (A Reblog from 2013)

Originally written August 29, 2013 and shared today hoping it will bless someone.

 

“I’m must show myself; things are not going well, to be honest.  I’m becoming more and more fragmented.  And I can’t seem to hold it together.  Essentially, I mentally can’t keep it centered on the things I know are right and appropriate. My mind is in a muddle, and my heart is not far behind.

I can’t go on like this.  I have to confess that I’m spinning out of control.  There are too many issues that hammer me, without any resolution or finality.  I need a “booster shot” of grace. (Perhaps, maybe an I.V. would be better.)

All I want is to escape, and to shake off these ‘parasites’ that sap me of any strength I might generate.  Far too many things are draining me of any vitality and hope.  Despair and despondency have suddenly shown up at my door, but I treat them as unwelcomed visitors, and hope they will leave me alone.  All they want to do is take me apart, and dismantle me, and I seldom advance beyond this. I haven’t invited them.

This simple blog has kept me going.  The posts that I write are sincere, and I know for a fact they touch many hearts.  I’m astonishingly grateful for this.  But they can’t minimize my own issues.  I am constantly on the edge, a step one way or another could push into a desperate fall. (Funny, I’m starting to scare myself.)

I have a deep confidence in Jesus.  I believe that he loves me in the most intense way possible.  I trust in his deliberate and careful love.  Resting in his arms is the very best thing I could do.  He is the only one who can lead me through my mental illness.  Or to give me the grace to move above it.

I do not want to offend or alienate anyone.  That simply is not what I am about.  But I simply can not try to take Brokenbelievers much further in this ‘frame of mind.’  I will try to post as often as I can– but both my therapist and psychiatrist want me to go into a hospital.  I have already been there several times and I do not want to be admitted any time soon.

The next several days should be interesting.  I’m definitely committed to avoiding hospitalization.  The “professionals” I trust are trying to commit me, but I do intend to make a scrap of it.  “I will not go lightly.”

Please try to be patient with me.  I want to post, it runs through my veins.  But I simply don’ t  have the resources that extend into transparency and clarity.  Please forgive me. There’s is no way I can make this work without avoiding a “shutdown.” We will see.

***

kyrie elesion, Bryan

(Lord, have mercy on us.)

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Stability and Strength

bloodCovenant
“Is it not my family God has chosen?
    Yes, he has made an everlasting covenant with me.
His agreement is arranged and guaranteed in every detail.
    He will ensure my safety and success.

David’s last words, 2 Samuel 23:5, NLT

Covenant is a critical ingredient to our faith. Understanding it gives stability and a strength that can not be found anywhere else. Being in a covenant relationship with God Almighty gives us security and hope.

“Now may the God of peace—
    who brought up from the dead our Lord Jesus,
the great Shepherd of the sheep,
    and ratified an eternal covenant with his blood—
21 may he equip you with all you need
    for doing his will.
May he produce in you,
    through the power of Jesus Christ,
every good thing that is pleasing to him.
    All glory to him forever and ever! Amen.”

Hebrews 13:20-21

The nature of this covenant comes exclusively through the blood of our Lord Jesus. It simply can come in no other way. The spilled blood gives us all the benefits of a perfect man (even if we’re far from perfect).

The blood says everything about us. It definitively establishes us a righteous (and even holy) in God’s estimation. Once it flowed in Jesus veins and arteries, but now covers us completely. We have no righteousness apart from his death.

 “for this is my blood, which confirms the covenant between God and his people. It is poured out as a sacrifice to forgive the sins of many.”

Matthew 26:28

Our status as broken believers does not negate or diminish this covenant. If anything, it makes it easier to accept. We make no claims to any righteousness apart from his blood. We walk in covenant only because he makes it so. As outcasts we receive special grace when it comes to certain things. Trusting in His work means we forever give up our own claims to  ‘completeness.’

“For the mountains may move
    and the hills disappear,
but even then my faithful love for you will remain.
    My covenant of blessing will never be broken,”
    says the Lord, who has mercy on you.”

Isaiah 54:10

Stability and strength. Things we prize and seek. They come to us via the promises. They are only activated by the blood of Jesus Christ.

We apply this covenant by faith. Faith is the only way you can make this work. We dare not pretend there is another way, for there isn’t. We handle these promises of covenant, but we must believe them, and hold them to our believing hearts.

Being a struggling believer, I find myself looking for something (anything) that will work for me. Being included in this New Covenant eases the restlessness and calms my fears. I rest in his blood alone.

“I am ready to meet God face to face tonight and look into those eyes of infinite holiness, for all my sins are covered by the atoning blood.”

 R.A. Torrey

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There is a Crack in Everything

“Ring the bells that still can ring/Forget your perfect offering/There is a crack in everything/That’s how the light gets in.”

Leonard Cohen,  Anthem

A crack in everything. As someone who has experienced brokenness in my life,  I appreciate the wisdom of these simple words. You see, I am intensely aware of being different then others.

I had a night job working my way through school frying donuts.  I remember clearly an incident were I overheard my boss telling someone that, “Bryan is one of the most eccentric people I have ever met.” Now I honestly was not trying to be odd, or eccentric.

To put this in perspective, I just happened to be taking N.T. Greek at the time and knew that the word for eccentric was a contraction, (of ek, meaning “off, or off to one side, and “centros”, meaning, “center”).  He was saying that I was “off centered”. That really troubled me because I always felt like I was intensely stable, and very much a well-balanced person. (But I was just 22.  I guess that fact alone explains much.)

Cohen’s poem tells us certain things. First, he describes bells that can’t be used, they don’t work anymore. Second, he tells us of our need to get real and to understand that “a perfect offering” is beyond our capability. Maybe 30 years ago, ‘naive idealism’ might have carried the day for us. But now I’m in my mid-50s  and I have tried to figure out a thing or two.   By then we start to see the cracks in everything, nothing has gone by untouched. We live in a fallen and broken world.

But the poet delivers a paradoxical truth, he states, “that’s how the light gets in.”

To learn this deeply, is to turbocharge your recovery. You’re a broken person. But that is actually a good thing. It summons up a discernment of how we grow spiritually.

I find it quite astonishing that the broken, weak, and the burned-out are closer to the Kingdom then the strong, the sure, and the gifted. This is a rich and an incredible truth, we are to see our brokenness and ruination in a whole different perspective.  We must see that that is how the light gets in.

“Blessed are the poor in Spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of God.”

Matthew 5:3

“God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume. It is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever.”

Vance Havner

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