shepherd – Page 4 – Broken Believers

Melancholy in Amber

Edgar Degas, Melancholy/ c. 1874, oil on canvas, Phillips Collection, Washington D.C.

The sadness flows from this painting. Degas caught the dark despondency of his model. Her inertia becomes something we can gaze on carefully and at leisure.

This is one of my favorite paintings. For me, it captures an essence of what depression “looks” like. The anguish and the whole sense of being is seen in the expression of her face. She is frozen in her despair.

Depression immobilizes and then lays waste all that it touches. It is a vicious blight on the human soul.

I remember as a boy seeing a prehistoric bug caught in amber. It struck me as a bit macabre. This poor insect frozen for all to see.

Little did I realize that this was going to happen to me.

For almost 20 years I’ve tangled with clinical depression. It was initiated by a brain tumor in 2002 and has been evident since then.

Depression to me is like being frozen in a deep sadness that clings to my soul. It shows me no mercy when it is active, but I can go several weeks at a time without it being an issue.

There is a dual aspect to this. My experience is like a complete suppression of the good and optimistic, combined with an increase of despair and despondency. I despair of any future good that might occur. Everything becomes bleak and black.

My life becomes a meltdown; a cascading effect of worsening feelings.

A few points that have helped me:

A main point for me is to doubt the “certainties of despair.” I believe that God’s promises to me contain a “future and a hope.” This is vital. At times I feel too far gone, and completely irredeemable. I must doubt the lies of the enemy.
Freedom come through a real faith in God’s grace. I believe that His Holy Spirit empowers the weak. He holds my hand as I stumble in the path. My confidence is in His promises to this “weak lamb.”
Scripture tells me that Jesus’ present ministry is one of intercession for my soul. “Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us” (Rom. 8:34.)
Jesus has the power to keep His flock. He also gives me a few select companions. I meet with some of “my fellow sheep” at my local church. These know me, and their friendship encourages me. They don’t condemn.

I hope that some of this helps, if anything I hope you have a window into my convoluted faith. I don’t want pretend to have all the answers. I’m not a guru. I’m a “work in progress,” and some ways far behind you, the reader.

“Wherefore he is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them.”

Hebrews 7:25

ybic, Bryan

He Has Come For Us

“I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep.”

John 10:14-15 ESV

Jesus declares and reveals something substantial here. He is the “good shepherd.” If we split this statement apart, we get “good.” We also get “shepherd.” And we simply must insist on both. Somehow, deep down, these two ‘particulars’ take on the most definite positions in our lives. We are desperate for anything good; and we know our need for a shepherd. We struggle so hard, and this understanding will carry us a very long way.

This verse tells us– He knows us!

He is fully aware of you in this present moment. This is amazing, to be aware that He engages us on the level were we are now at. Think about, its like He has our ‘x-ray’ in front of Him. He knows and understands us completely and fully.

The remainder of this verse goes on to suggest that we (yes, we) know Him. Now I have a multitude of issues, but when I sift them out, there is a deep awareness of His presence. I completely understand (as much as I’m able) of who He is, and I can’t shake Him. Once touched we’ll never be satisfied with anything else (and Lord knows we will try.)

While visiting this planet, Jesus maintained His connection with the Father. He would take this sense of intimacy with His Father down ‘into the stretch.’ And that pattern of love would take place in our hearts and minds. And now we have finally found our place– with him, with the Father.

The very last part, v. 15, places itself right in the middle of our understanding. He will definitely die for us. He wants to, and is eager to lay down His life to make us His own. It all seems foolish, I know. But He very much wants to bring us into His deep presence.

The idea that we are sheep is factored in. He dies for us. The Shepherd will now face crucifixion in order to claim His sheep. He will go to a painful and ugly death to give us life that is eternal.

Interruptions: A Litmus Test for Disciples

“May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you.”

1 Thessalonians 3:12

“Our love to God is measured by our everyday fellowship with others and the love it displays.”

Andrew Murray

There is an awesome need for Christians who can be interrupted. They have learned that their personal plans and agendas should be set aside for the acute need of the moment. People like that are becoming receptive people–people who have learned to submit their wills to the Lordship of Christ.

There seems to be a lot of believers who have isolated themselves in order to avoid ‘complications’ of the Spirit. Over the years they have cultivated a life without entanglements from others (at least, greatly reduced). The basic root of this is not sin, but it quickly slides into an isolation that is not just threatening, but dangerous.

We are built for fellowship. We need it— like my goldfish needs its water.

Our brothers and sisters need us, and we most definitely need them. In the Apostle’s Creed we read, ‘I believe in the Communion of the Saints’. This takes a supernatural faith. This dynamic of the Body calls us to fellowship with other believers, which is our desperate need of the moment. Deep within, we crave human contact. We need to touch someone else.

Being interruptible establishes several things. I think these questions are a simple starting point.

First, I have become approachable and tractable?
Second, is Jesus really Lord over my life? (Or do I have my ‘own thing’ going?)
Third, do I really believe ‘something’ is going to happen when I begin to fellowship?
Fourth, is it really worth it?
Fifth, what is more important: People or my schedule?

Years ago I learned that every servant who really excelled had become a man or woman that could be interrupted. And they respond in grace and kindness to every issue that came. You’ll never hear them get frustrated or even irritable over being disturbed. They simply have surrounded themselves in the will of God, and are His servants.

What is more important: a schedule or people?

There are ‘skills’ we need to learn for Christian community. We have touched on some as we have matured. We have practiced with this holy concept, and caught glimpses, many which translate into our present spiritual lives.

“Some Christians try to go to heaven alone, in solitude. But believers are not compared to bears or lions or other animals that wander alone. Those who belong to Christ are sheep in this respect, that they love to get together. Sheep go in flocks, and so do God’s people.”

Charles Spurgeon

God’s great quest is to make those who have been redeemed into a cohesive body. He takes a special delight in the harmony of His Church. He is very passionate about this. His proclivity to unity must be noted. We must adjust and do all that is necessary to make it happen. This dear one, is His will.

Whose Example Do You Follow? (preacheroftruth.com)
Thank God for the Communion of Saints (revivalandreformation.wordpress.com)
Sisters (leaveyourbeautymark.com)

He Was at Home

“A few days later, when Jesus came back to Capernaum, the news spread that he was at home.”

Mark 2:1

You can’t hide the presence of Jesus. There is a ‘built-in’ need for Him in the hearts of men and women. You can’t keep it quiet, it is an open secret. Believing people let it out in many ways. You can see it in their faces, and hear it in their voices. They become gentle and caring, where once was selfishness and anger. Peace is present, and a wonderful new thing called joy. They can’t help but share about their new guest, when they speak it spontaneously spills out.

Spring flowers can’t help their beautiful fragrance. There is a fragrance that announces that He is present. You might say that He takes over, just as a bright light takes over the darkness. When Jesus is present, His brightness pushes through the cracks and shines out every window. He cannot be contained or hidden. Love itself is invisible. But it has an effect on all who take it in. The very presence of Jesus transforms us.

My heart is now His home.

People travel and gather great works of art. They collect these things of beauty and culture. They will go out of their way to search for paintings and statues of grace and elegance, and finding them they will spend a great deal of money to obtain them. But no one or nothing can compare to having Christ as the honored guest. The poorest farmer can be the wealthiest man. No matter how quietly Jesus enters, His presence will soon make itself known. Where Christ truly abides, nothing but good will be observed.

“Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.”

Ephesians 3:17, NLT

Category: shepherd