Category: failure

My ‘Agape’ Jalopy

“Accepting the reality of our broken, flawed lives is the beginning of spirituality not because the spiritual life will remove our flaws but because we let go of seeking perfection and, instead, seek God, the one who is present in the tangledness of our lives. ”  — Michael Yaconelli

My “Agape” Jalopy

Accepting ourselves is a lifelong process.

We talk of “accepting Christ”, but for many that really is not the problem.  When we talk about Jesus, there is such an attractiveness about him, that makes ‘hard-boiled’ agnostics stand back and grudgingly admire.  But, to accept “me”, well that takes more then just a bit of imagination.  When your depressed or anxious it just escalates the problem.

We just don’t like ourselves.  Sometimes I think that if I met me, I would think, “What a jerk! ”  Having psychiatric issues only intensifies and focalizes my sin into a horrifying mess.  I’m not just a loser, I’m a loser on steroids.  A supreme loser!  I’m certainly not the red Ferrari, I am obviously the rusty Edsel with the balloon tires and a lousy heater.

The remarkable thing though is not my spiritual unattractiveness, but God’s irrational love for me.  The New Testament writers used the word we translate “love” as “agape“.  That Greek word meant a love without any conditions, a selfless love, a love that was passionately committed to the well being of the other.  Actually, it is a love that goes out of the way to care for its enemy.  That’s the audacity of agape.

We do the mental gymnastics to try to grasp the definition.  We strain and contort but it defies comprehension.  We grab, hold it, and then it gets loose and we clutch air.

“This is how much God loved [agape] the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life .”                                

 -John 3:16, MSG

When I tell you, “Jesus loves you”, you will probably smile politely, nod and say “I know,” and turn away.  But, once in awhile, “lightning will strike,” you will look up in stunned amazement, with tears in your eyes, and whisper, “I know”.

…………………………

“Spirituality is not about being fixed; it is about God’s being present in the mess of our unfixedness.” — Michael Yaconelli, Messy Spirituality

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Bragging Rights

 

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“Three times I begged the Lord to make this suffering go away. But he replied, “My kindness is all you need. My power is strongest when you are weak.” So if Christ keeps giving me his power, I will gladly brag about how weak I am.”

2 Corinthians 12:8-9

This is a very crisp idea, Paul flips things upside down and then gives it a shake.  His attention is directed at bringing clarity and understanding about these issues of pain, weakness and conflict.  There is an understanding that Paul passes on that has personally worked its way through his own heart.  Truth that has taken that pathway is very precious.

Paul shares a conversation he had with the Lord Himself.  It really does seem that this subject was a continual topic between them.  He mentions it to Jesus three different times.  This tells me,  that suffering and pain are issues where it’s hard to get resolution.  When we hurt, we want Jesus to intervene, asap.  It is a real riddle to us, “Why am not healed?”

It seems to me that Paul comes to the point over and over and its not resolved to his satisfaction.  When the Lord does bring Paul to an understanding; it is basically the whole dynamic of the Christian experience.  And it is this, when a believer is sick, or weak–it’s then the strength and power of Jesus can be accessed.  Simply put–No pain, no power.

Paul ‘begged’ for resolution, and the ultimate response was the Lord was showing him the secret for his strength was in that presence of pain.  It gave him a power and force and might that he would not have otherwise.  Now Paul had a very intense ministry.  He would deal with issues and conflicts that would shrivel up most believers.  The list is long (see 2 Corinthians 11:23-28) and painful.  But the gist of it was Paul being abused and attacked by other people, over and over.

Paul had to have an extra boost to fulfill his ministry.  He needed affliction and weakness to connect him to a  huge ‘underground river’ of grace and love that flowed under his feet unseen and unknown.  The difficulties that Paul dealt with were actually what propelled him in his ministry.

There can be no power without pain; no discipleship without some kind of ‘disability.’

Paul tells the truth, “I boast in my weaknesses.  Just tap me into His power”.  Trials are the power outlet for the believer.  When he says things like that, it is good to pay attention.  The earnestness of Paul’s language in these verses gives us a sense of what is real, and how we should trust these ideas, as we are propelled into our ministry to the Lord.

“The power of the Church is not a parade of flawless people, but of a flawless Christ who embraces our flaws. The Church is not made up of whole people, rather of the broken people who find wholeness in a Christ who was broken for us.” –Mike Yaconelli

 

 

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What I Must Have

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Our lives can get quite complicated. This goes for our Christian walk as well. It seems what is simple is what is lacking, and we entertain a bedlam of confused priorities and misguided principles. It seems a wonder that we are still walking with Jesus at all. The clear wisdom of the first commandment is as true as it was when it was spoken:

 “You must not have any other god but me.”

Exodus 20:3, NLT

Things go quickly awry when we violate this. We get lost in anxiety, worry, ego, and envy when we seek other things before we seek the Lord.  The Church in Ephesus was a blessed church. Paul seems to set them apart in his dealings and pastoral care. The letter to the Ephesians is ‘the crown jewel’ of the entire New Testament. Revelation 2 are Jesus’ words to his special ones:

“I know all the things you do. I have seen your hard work and your patient endurance. I know you don’t tolerate evil people. You have examined the claims of those who say they are apostles but are not. You have discovered they are liars. 3 You have patiently suffered for me without quitting.”

4 “But I have this complaint against you. You don’t love me or each other as you did at first! 5 Look how far you have fallen! Turn back to me and do the works you did at first. If you don’t repent, I will come and remove your lampstand from its place among the churches.”

Revelations 2:2-5

There were two sisters. Martha and Mary. Martha was the busy one, she busied herself with making a special dinner for Jesus. Mary, on the other hand, sat at Jesus’ feet and hung on every word. It so exasperated Martha that she brought her complaint to Jesus. (You can read this in Luke 10).

” But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! 42 There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Luke 10:41

We do well if we keep this in our minds and our hearts.

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A Stranger to Your Holiness

Below are the lyrics to a CCM song that I listened to over and over, circa 1982-83. The album is Steve Camp‘s, “Shake Me to Wake Me“, and there are several songs of reasonable significance on it.  Unfortunately, I no longer have a copy, if you should find one, I’d be happy to take it off your hands.  You’d make this “Jesus Freak” a happy man. Even if you can’t do YouTube, I encourage you to read these lyrics as if it were a poem.

Lyrics to “Stranger To Your  Holiness,”  by Steve Camp

Looks like the boy’s in trouble again
Living much too close to the edge of sin
Now he finds himself where he should not have been
Oh God, why is Your peace so hard to find
And the answer to the questions that haunt my mind
Oh Lord, Your ways are not like mine
And it pounds like thunder within in my breast
All the anger of my humanness
And though I call You “Lord” I must confess
I’m a stranger to Your holiness, a stranger to Your holiness
Can we really be what we were meant to be
Jesus’ people, living by the Spirit and living free
My heart longs to serve, but wanders so aimlessly
Oh Lord You deserve every part of me
Hear my cry of desperation as I see the wickedness of my ways
You alone are my salvation, and Lord I’ve learned this one thing to be true
Is that the closer I get to You, I see I’m a stranger (to Your holiness)
Don’t wanna be no stranger, and it burns like a fire…

As I follow Jesus as His simple disciple, I’m very aware of the issues that tangle me. It is like a net that drops and I get quite caught in it. But we really are asked to shake these things off. In 35 years of following Him, I find my personal sin is more clear to me then ever as I follow Him. “Ye shall be holy, for I am holy.” Lord hold me close as you continue to deal with me.

“Such a large crowd of witnesses is all around us! So we must get rid of everything that slows us down, especially the sin that just won’t let go. And we must be determined to run the race that is ahead of us. 2We must keep our eyes on Jesus, who leads us and makes our faith complete.”

Hebrews 12:1-2, CEV

Mr. Camp reaches into places that the average Christian musician misses, and communicates relevance to all those who seek His face.  This particular song has a lyrical integrity and sensitivity that makes it stellar.  As I ponder the words I find myself with someone who understands me and my issues.  I hope this blesses.

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