Tardive Dyskinesia (TD) is a condition of involuntary, repetitive movements of the jaw, tongue or other body movements. It frequently is a side effect of the long-term use of antipsychotic drugs used to treat schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. It is almost always permanent. I’ve been told Vitamin E might help a bit. Benzodiazepines have also been used with mixed results on a short-term basis.
Some examples of these types of involuntary movements include:
Grimacing
Tongue movements
Lip smacking
Lip puckering
Pursing of the lips
Excessive eye blinking
(Wikipedia)
I recently was diagnosed as having TD after the use of Zyprexa. My version is my lower jaw moves from side-to-side, unless I concentrate on not doing it. I quickly revert to this involuntary movement when I’m not aware of it. I recently saw a video of myself (with my family) and sure enough there I was, doing the ‘jaw thing.’ It was very obvious. It was also very embarrassing. (I have the ‘lithium jitters’— where my hands always shake, but TD is different.)
There are a couple of things I might mention:
1) I’ve discovered that there is a real social isolation with this TD stuff. To be doing this in public is “not acceptable.” I have had people come up to me wanting to know what’s my problem. Since I can’t control the movement I just say, “It’s my meds— they affect me this way.” In a way it’s like wearing a neon sign saying, “I’m a fruit cake.” Having a mental illness is stigma enough, but the TD just puts a new edge on it.
2) As a natural introvert the isolation has only deepened. (I avoid crowds and most social engagements.) I guess if the truth be told, I’m uncomfortable when others look at me strangely or whisper to each other. My standard ‘paranoia level’ has taken a new twist. I feel I’m compelled to explain. I guess I’m embarrassed when others are embarrassed.
3) I settle myself down in my faith to cope. I know I’m not alone in this– the Lord Jesus is always with me. He holds me tight through all these twists and turns. Since I isolate myself so much, I savor the connection I have with a few friends who have become inured to my condition. Social media helps out— Facebook is a big help, as well as my two blogs.
4) One of the things I try to remember are the issues of selfishness and pride. I keep reminding myself it’s not about me all the time. One of the significant areas mentally ill people deal with is self-absorbed thinking. It seems it comes with the illness.
5) I try to keep a sense of humor everyday. It breaks down the mental pain to tolerable levels. We can take ourselves too seriously sometimes. Be more patient with yourself. I know I have to.
I ask that you remember me in prayer from time-to-time. I’m in ‘uncharted waters’ (it seems) and I sometimes feel all alone with my mental illness and all its tangents. I want good to come out of this. (An instantaneous healing would be o.k. But, I’m not too finicky.) Sorry for so much.
If you can’t pray, don’t feel at all impinged upon.
This is a bit of a longish post. My apologies. I do think you’ll find it a blessing.
This is a perfect Psalm for broken believers–those who sometimes struggle to believe. We can understand because we each have encountered difficult things–hard things. So buckle up, here are my comments on Psalm 27. I really hope that they might help you through your personal mess.
I sometimes use the Message Bible:
Light, space, zest— that’s God! So, with him on my side I’m fearless, afraid of no one and nothing.
2 When vandal hordes ride down ready to eat me alive, Those bullies and toughs fall flat on their faces.
Man alive, we tolerate so much darkness. But the believer understands that God not only chooses him/her, but protects them. There is going to be difficulty, that much I understand. I can’t and won’t sugarcoat this. I’m not naive.
“Vandal hordes;” and “bullies and toughs” are motivated by darkness–Satan’s kingdom. The psalmist David sees trouble up ahead, he’s very real here and definitely not a ‘pie-in-the-sky’ optimist. But he’s very much convinced of their defeat.
When besieged, I’m calm as a baby. When all hell breaks loose, I’m collected and cool.
4 I’m asking God for one thing, only one thing: To live with him in his house my whole life long. I’ll contemplate his beauty; I’ll study at his feet.
There’s a place of safety for David. He’s being blasted right and left by the enemy, but in that place, he finds “calmness.” He’s protected and you could say he wears spiritual body armor. Wearing that David discovers that he’s bullet-proof, for he wears a vest of spiritual steel.
The house of God is crucial, and he wants to live in it, to “contemplate” the wonder of the Spirit of God. David sees it as his castle that stands in resistance against all those who want to destroy him. And believe me, it is his complete focus.
He injects the word “study” which tells us that he’s found Someone that teaches him the things he needs.
That’s the only quiet, secure place in a noisy world, The perfect getaway, far from the buzz of traffic.
6 God holds me head and shoulders above all who try to pull me down. I’m headed for his place to offer anthems that will raise the roof! Already I’m singing God-songs; I’m making music to God.
Outside of the Church, there is very little that can protect a straying believer!
David is aware that the world is a noisy place (v. 5). But he knows that the very presence of God is a place of quiet and security, it’s “the perfect getaway,” that exists for everyone who believes.
Worship is critical here.
I think it not only exalts and glorifies God but it also is the best way of protecting himself. David is exuberant here, he can hardly contain himself! Perhaps we really don’t understand–it seems rather excessive–may be too zealous for us.
In v. 6 we see the spiritual effort of God holding David in place. He understands that there are many who are trying their best “to pull” him away from the security of God.
7-9 Listen, God, I’m calling at the top of my lungs: “Be good to me! Answer me!” When my heart whispered, “Seek God,” my whole being replied, “I’m seeking him!” Don’t hide from me now!
9-10 You’ve always been right there for me; don’t turn your back on me now. Don’t throw me out, don’t abandon me; you’ve always kept the door open. My father and mother walked out and left me, but God took me in.
Wow! “the top of my lungs” is pretty intense. The passage speaks of seeking–that’s the key of this whole thing. To be an authentic seeker has to be a “heart” issue, and never a brain thing. Heart followers certainly understand the difference.
Note that the presence of God is David’s entire focus. One of his petitions here is “don’t hide from me now.” As a New Testament guy, I know that it isn’t really possible. Jesus promised me He would dtay with me. See John 14:15-17.
If you’re struggling, like David did, you’re in good hands. Even though it seems like God is distant, He’s not. “God took me in” is a statement of real faith. David knows that the Father’s love is beyond the love of a father or mother.
And now the comes the finale!
11-12 Point me down your highway, God; direct me along a well-lighted street; show my enemies whose side you’re on. Don’t throw me to the dogs, those liars who are out to get me, filling the air with their threats.
13-14 I’m sure now I’ll see God’s goodness in the exuberant earth. Stay with God! Take heart. Don’t quit. I’ll say it again: Stay with God.
“Point me” and “direct me” is David’s discipleship to his Father’s ways. He speaks of enemies (“dogs” and “liars”) who are trying very hard to destroy him. “Out to get me” is David’s assessment of the hard things that come.
David is convinced that God is always very good to him, he understands this. It’s the same for the NT believer, although Satan nips at our heels, God protects us–He’s on our side.
He exhorts us twice to “stay with God.”
Maybe that’s where a lot of issues come. “Don’t quit” is David’s plea. This is stated throughout Paul’s epistles written for us.
What a wonderful Psalm. So much security here (as well as the opposition). Psalm 27 is written to us rascals and inconsistent believers in Jesus. I exhort you to spiritually digest this passage. It’s yours!
Illustration: Solomon’s Temple. I’m using “The Message,” a translation by Eugene Peterson.
“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.”
Proverbs 25:28
The writer of Proverbs can be blunt. He makes the cold observation that people can often be like a city that has no walls.
The city he alluded to was completely defenseless, vulnerable and wide open to a marauding enemy. It no longer is protected. It can be assaulted from outside and is no longer safe. It can be easily defeated by its foes.
The description is used to describe a spiritual condition of danger and defeat. A real potentiality exists of a helpless invasion by evil forces. It has no protection to speak of.
Proverbs uses this imagery to state a fundamental truth about some people.
We live in an age when everything is “open.” Seldom do we see protecting walls around the perimeter of our lives. We are open to the demonic forces of darkness. We move from crisis to crisis because we are not protected.
Nehemiah faced the stark reality of Jerusalem without walls of protection. His first order of business (before anything else) was to rebuild them. He mobilized work crews that immediately went to work restoring the cities safety.
“I went out by night by the Valley Gate to the Dragon Spring and to the Dung Gate, and I inspected the walls of Jerusalem that were broken down and its gates that had been destroyed by fire.”
Nehemiah 2:13
He knew what he was up against; a discouraged people who were extremely vulnerable. It’s also interesting that the cities enemies resisted at this crucial time. They wanted the people to fail so they would continue to defeat them.
Our culture today is no longer protected by the evil of the day. We’re victims for the most part by Satan’s tactical assaults. A generation has come and gone that has not known the defense of personal walls.
We are desperate of the ministry of Nehemiah. He is a type of Christ. Protection can only come from faith and blood of Jesus. He alone is our safe place. He alone can defend us from this present darkness.
If your life is characterized by oppression I urge you to erect a safe place for yourself and for your family. Being specific in prayer is very often your sheltered place. Take a stand and drive the enemy away. Resist him and he will flee from you.
“The world’s battlefields have been in the heart chiefly; more heroism has been displayed in the household and the closet, than on the most memorable battlefields in history.”
I must tell you this right from the start! You must believe it before we can go any further.
God is not against you because of your repeated sin. Rather He is for you against that repeated sin.
(I want to apologize for my brother pastors who may have told you otherwise.)
“Anyone who continues to live in him will not sin. But anyone who keeps on sinning does not know him or understand who he is.”
“7 Dear children, don’t let anyone deceive you about this: When people do what is right, it shows that they are righteous, even as Christ is righteous. But when people keep on sinning, it shows that they belong to the devil, who has been sinning since the beginning. But the Son of God came to destroy the works of the devil. 9 Those who have been born into God’s family do not make a practice of sinning, because God’s life is in them. So they can’t keep on sinning, because they are children of God.”
1 John 3:6-9
Over and over, we sin the same sin until it has become habitual. It is exactly the opposite of godliness (that’s why we call it ungodliness.) It’s truly the other side of the proverbial coin. It haunts everyone who sincerely wants to follow Jesus.
Let’s understand these things. I’ve listed seven consequences of repeated sin.
It creates hypocrisy and self-hatred.
It nullifies witness, and the work of missions.
It cancels out real praise, worship, and Bible reading.
It destroys real fellowship between other believers.
Any personal ministry is degraded and turned upside down.
It blinds others, and deceives them to who we really are inside.
It always engenders guilt and unworthiness, especially toward God.
I once lived in a house that had a severe mold problem. The previous owner, in an attempt to make things liveable, painted over the offending walls. He meant well, of that I am sure, but the problem of the mold was never dealt with properly. No matter how much you slathered on the paint, the mold was still alive and well. It simply worked its way to the surface. Sin is like this.
Paul’s letter to the Romans, chapter 7, gets to the root of our “mold.” If we read it carefully (as we should) we’ll start to grasp what it means to walk biblically.
“I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. 16 But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. 17 So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.”
“And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. 20 But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.”
Paul floats different concepts our way. Law, sin, nature. Each word must be processed.
“Law” is something that is always true. (Think of the Law of gravity.) “Sin” or falling short. The Greek word is pretty descriptive–it means “an arrow that misses the target.” “Nature,” or the intrinsic character of something.
We use these words so seldom that they seem archaic and outdated; but not so. Understanding these three opens up the entire realm of spiritual holiness. When we realize that the Word explains our situation so clearly we become convinced that holiness is possible. We begin to hope again.
Tolerating repeated sin is a terrible form of “spiritual suicide.” It always breaks fellowship with the living God. But as a believer, God doesn’t break fellowship with us, rather He comes closer and patches up our self-inflicted wounds. But even then we will not understand Him.
The Father’s heart is for us to be heart-holy. This is His perfect plan for us.
“So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then. 15 But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. 16 For the Scriptures say, “You must be holy because I am holy.”
1 Peter 1:14-16
You must become convinced. You dare not continue to sin and live in terrible guilt and risk “spiritual suicide.” You must decide that the Spirit of holiness is in residence in your heart, and live willingly as true saints.
But there is an all powerful remedy to our sickness-plague of repeated sin. Almost always we stare at this ugliness, it seems we’re fixated on it. Often there are two approaches we take regarding repeated sin. 1) We ignore and flail out a life of “holiness.” We minimize this. 2) We become hyper-aware of our sin and guilt. We maximize sin to the point where we lose all joy and peace.
“Looking at the wound of sin will never save anyone. What you must do is look at the remedy.”
I need to stop teaching now. Rereading this has made me slightly frustrated about what I’ve written. If any of this has helped, I’m glad. I’d like to close this with a Billy Sunday quote. He explains the seriousness of repeated sin.
“I’m against sin. I’ll kick it as long as I’ve got a foot, and I’ll fight it as long as I’ve got a fist. I’ll butt it as long as I’ve got a head. I’ll bite it as long as I’ve got a tooth. And when I’m old and fistless and footless and toothless, I’ll gum it till I go home to Glory and it goes home to perdition!”
Broken Believers 