Disciples Who Can Stay Afloat

22 “Immediately Jesus told his followers to get into the boat and go ahead of him across the lake. He stayed there to send the people home.23 After he had sent them away, he went by himself up into the hills to pray. It was late, and Jesus was there alone.24 By this time, the boat was already far away from land. It was being hit by waves, because the wind was blowing against it. 25 Between three and six o’clock in the morning, Jesus came to them, walking on the water.26 When his followers saw him walking on the water, they were afraid. They said, “It’s a ghost!” and cried out in fear.

27 But Jesus quickly spoke to them, “Have courage! It is I. Do not be afraid.”28 Peter said, “Lord, if it is really you, then command me to come to you on the water.” 29 Jesus said, “Come.” And Peter left the boat and walked on the water to Jesus. 30 But when Peter saw the wind and the waves, he became afraid and began to sink. He shouted, “Lord, save me!”

31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught Peter. Jesus said, “Your faith is small. Why did you doubt?” 32 After they got into the boat, the wind became calm.33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped Jesus and said, “Truly you are the Son of God!”

Matthew 14:22-33, New Century Version

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When I am in the storm, when the waves are breaking into my boat, my faith is shaky, and I feel abandoned, I turn to Matthew 14.

Jesus sees his disciples in mortal danger.  The overloaded boat has been caught in a ferocious storm.  It is 3 a.m., and the darkness just makes their situation that more desperate. The idea of imminent drowning has passed through their thoughts. They are terribly afraid.

Suddenly Jesus comes near, he is walking on the water!  Their fear turns to stark terror, they want to bolt but there is no place to go.  They are thinking that Jesus is a ghost, and that he is coming to escort them to the grave.  So Jesus calls out through the raging storm, “It is just me.  Do not fear!  Have courage.”

Brash Peter (bless him, Lord) yells to Jesus, “If it is you, really you, let me come to you, on the water!”  The word ‘if’ is very telling, and it explains much. Peter is soon on the edge of frantic hysteria when he begins to sink while walking to Jesus.

If it was me, I would have let Peter drown.  (What an object lesson to teach the 11 sitting in the boat.  “See what happens when you have weak faith, you drown!”)

But Jesus is not teaching here, He is loving.  He grabs Peter and pulls him out.  I find it interesting that the rock on whom Jesus is to build his Church upon sinks like a stone. Peter shows his faith for a brief shining moment, and when he falters and sinks, Jesus catches him.

aabryscript

A ‘Slipping Down’ Life

“When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he touched his hip socket, and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him.”

Genesis 32:25

There is no question that we each want a wonderful life.  Young and strong and very idealistic, we brew dreams that we will become persons of wonder and deep significance.  After all, anything less would be a denial of what we believe.  In our youthful zeal we more or less insist on our own success.  We just know, deep down, that we are God’s special gift to the world.

All of a sudden we strike reality’s iceberg.  It is very bitter, and it hurts us.  Then things unfold around us that are difficult and quite challenging to process.  But as it ‘sifts out’ we realize that we find we are severely mismatched by what we must face.  It is at this point things will proceed from ‘difficult to ugly.’

We discover that our life is ‘a slipping down’ sort of kind.  Twenty years ago, we would never admit this.  But our vision and expectations have shrunken, and we’ve become less than we imagined than we would be. We have ‘slipped down.’ Living this kind of life, inserts a humility in us. We have aspired, but have not attained. We discover that we haven’t met our earlier expectations. We are woefully short.

But if we are honest with ourselves (and others) we find ourselves– subtracted.  We wrestle with our angel, and he pulverizes us. We discover that we now limp, but this is a necessary step for us to take.  Sometimes “Christlikeness” must be beaten into us by life itself.

There are those among us who profoundly struggle with pain and illness are expected to join with millions that have gone before us.  Loss and ugliness pay a visit to our lives.  There are those of us who fight with a mental illness, (sometimes winning, and often losing) have to sift through all that remains.  But this is all ‘injected humility.’ This experience does teach us, like nothing else can.

“Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God– Oh my, but you do learn.  C.S. Lewis

Personal brokenness requires that we pick-up the pieces.  And that in itself works something in us.  On our hands and knees we have an epiphany.  We are not what we thought we’d be.  But humility, the soil that grows our spirits, finally has begun to work in us.

A ‘slipping-down life’ brings us to the ‘bitter-sweet place’ where the Spirit can reach into us to do His work.  It is the ‘operating room’ where He works deep inside us.  None will truly know the Lord’s touch without this deep work. I strongly encourage you to submit your hearts to His precise work.  After all, you really don’t have a whole bunch of viable options. aabryscript

Memories Haunt in the Light

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For many who have struggled with depression, as I have, often suffer from an underlying brokenness that stems from past tragedies that we can’t seem to completely forget. We try to understand why and pray for forgetfulness that never seems to come. But even so, when we know Jesus as our Savior the Light is never extinguished.

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Memories Haunt in the Light

I stand upon the solid Rock
I’ve found my firm foundation
Living each day in the Light
Being sure of my salvation

I know His words of grace are true
‘Cause I feel them deep in my heart
I rise each day, out into the world
And that’s when the memories start

The sky is blue, the sun is bright
A chill wind stings my face
I should be happy and light, but cold
Triggers thoughts I seem to chase

Like Paul with his thorn, I pray the Lord
Would remove the pain today
“My grace is sufficient,” He replies
As over and over I cry and pray

But what if grace is not enough
As this memory haunts the light
This is when I must trust and believe
To escape the darkness of night

He uses this memory of pain
To teach me compassion and grace
For the bruised and the broken
Haunted by memories of disgrace

He’s made me merciful and kind
This lesson is not meant to destroy
But some days I’d rather be less caring
And remember only love and joy

My Rock remains firm beneath me
In spite of my doubt and fury
His grace will suffice, I rest in His Light
One day this memory He’ll bury

aasignLinda

The God Who Sees Me

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“She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”

Genesis 16:13

Omniscience is an attribute of God. It states that God is all-knowing. He possesses a complete understanding of everything there is or will be. He knows and sees all of His creation. While we gradually accrue understanding, He fully knows absolutely. (Job 37:16).

In Genesis 16 is where we meet Hagar. She is an inconsequential figure. Her personal destiny is a secondary one. She is the Egyptian slave of Sarah, and the concubine of Abraham. Through a series of anxious maneuverings designed to produce a heir, Abraham sleeps with her and she conceives. Sarah goes ballistic, punishing Hagar. Sarah drives her slave from the camp.

As Hagar wanders the wilderness, she meets with an Angel of the Lord who speaks to her. He tells her to return. He also promise that her son will be amazing; he will do mighty things. Hagar is astonished that God would speak to her. She makes the following statement,  “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me” (v.13).

The One who sees me! I believe she finally understood that God was aware of her, an Egyptian slave girl. She was a ‘non-factor’ in the eyes of everyone.

“You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.”

Psalm 139:1-3

We maybe insignificant; we may see ourselves as inconsequential. But we are fully known. You might be a janitor, or a nurse, or fry burgers at McDonalds. But God sees you, even when others don’t. It means I have significance. This should be a point of worship, it was for Hagar.

 “And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.” (Matt.10:30).

“For your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” (Matt. 6:8).

Because God fully knows all about you, we can rest in being unknown. His complete awareness of us encourages us. We feel significant by His attention. He makes life purposeful. He sees me!

aabryscript