Memories Haunt in the Light

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For many who have struggled with depression, as I have, often suffer from an underlying brokenness that stems from past tragedies that we can’t seem to completely forget. We try to understand why and pray for forgetfulness that never seems to come. But even so, when we know Jesus as our Savior the Light is never extinguished.

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Memories Haunt in the Light

I stand upon the solid Rock
I’ve found my firm foundation
Living each day in the Light
Being sure of my salvation

I know His words of grace are true
‘Cause I feel them deep in my heart
I rise each day, out into the world
And that’s when the memories start

The sky is blue, the sun is bright
A chill wind stings my face
I should be happy and light, but cold
Triggers thoughts I seem to chase

Like Paul with his thorn, I pray the Lord
Would remove the pain today
“My grace is sufficient,” He replies
As over and over I cry and pray

But what if grace is not enough
As this memory haunts the light
This is when I must trust and believe
To escape the darkness of night

He uses this memory of pain
To teach me compassion and grace
For the bruised and the broken
Haunted by memories of disgrace

He’s made me merciful and kind
This lesson is not meant to destroy
But some days I’d rather be less caring
And remember only love and joy

My Rock remains firm beneath me
In spite of my doubt and fury
His grace will suffice, I rest in His Light
One day this memory He’ll bury

aasignLinda

The God Who Sees Me

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“She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”

Genesis 16:13

Omniscience is an attribute of God. It states that God is all-knowing. He possesses a complete understanding of everything there is or will be. He knows and sees all of His creation. While we gradually accrue understanding, He fully knows absolutely. (Job 37:16).

In Genesis 16 is where we meet Hagar. She is an inconsequential figure. Her personal destiny is a secondary one. She is the Egyptian slave of Sarah, and the concubine of Abraham. Through a series of anxious maneuverings designed to produce a heir, Abraham sleeps with her and she conceives. Sarah goes ballistic, punishing Hagar. Sarah drives her slave from the camp.

As Hagar wanders the wilderness, she meets with an Angel of the Lord who speaks to her. He tells her to return. He also promise that her son will be amazing; he will do mighty things. Hagar is astonished that God would speak to her. She makes the following statement,  “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me” (v.13).

The One who sees me! I believe she finally understood that God was aware of her, an Egyptian slave girl. She was a ‘non-factor’ in the eyes of everyone.

“You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.”

Psalm 139:1-3

We maybe insignificant; we may see ourselves as inconsequential. But we are fully known. You might be a janitor, or a nurse, or fry burgers at McDonalds. But God sees you, even when others don’t. It means I have significance. This should be a point of worship, it was for Hagar.

 “And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.” (Matt.10:30).

“For your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” (Matt. 6:8).

Because God fully knows all about you, we can rest in being unknown. His complete awareness of us encourages us. We feel significant by His attention. He makes life purposeful. He sees me!

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Accommodating Life

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“How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.”

James 4:14

The story is told of a man who went to a toy store to buy something suitable for his young son. He looked high and low for something just right; he wanted a gift that would be perfect. Perhaps an educational toy? The sales girl was helpful. She steered him to many different toys, but nothing was what he was looking for. He didn’t want just any toy– he wanted a memory maker, and something that would last.

Then at last he saw a rather plain-looking box. It wasn’t shiny or glossy like some. But the description on it was interesting, and it said it was suitable for ages 5 through 95. That kind of intrigued him and he read the fine print. It seemed to be a puzzle or game of some kind or another. He shook the box and heard the pieces rattle inside. It seemed to captivate him.

The box said that it came unassembled. Parental help was helpful. There also was a statement that the contents were designed to teach a person how to deal with life, and required some diligence and intelligence to put it together. But there in the smallest fine print, “this toy was never intended to be put together perfectly.”

The man realized that this was the ideal gift for his son. It would teach him that life really never can be assembled quite right. There will always be something missing, or a critical flaw. And there is very little we can do about it. Perhaps the most significant lesson learned is “humility.”

That is why we must turn to God. He alone can make our lives work. The father wanted to teach his son that critical lesson. He wanted to prepare him for failure and frustration. Life never works out the way we want it to, and we should accommodate that idea.

“All have been given a box of tools, a formless rock and a book of rules. And each must make in his life, a stumbling block or a stepping stone.” 

~unknown

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12 “In the few days of our meaningless lives, who knows how our days can best be spent? Our lives are like a shadow. Who can tell what will happen on this earth after we are gone?”

Ecclesiastes 6:12

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Be Alert– Very Alert!

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“He will speak out against the Most High and wear down the saints of the Highest One.”

Daniel 7:25, NASB

“Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold.”

Matthew 24:12, NIV

Sometimes, we think it would be a fine thing to be able to tell the future. We could gaze into a crystal ball, and see exactly what is going to happen next. We would just love to tell this to our family and friends.

In a sense, the Holy Spirit has already shared the experience of believers in the modern church. And we have been told repeatedly not to consult the occult. It is forbidden– plain and simple. It’s not for us.

Once I was preaching on street corner on Telegraph Ave., in Berkeley, California. There I encountered a tarot card reader. People were everywhere. She was telling everyone’s future from a card table. Provoked by the Lord’s Spirit she went “gonzo.” She picked up her metal chair and began to smash it repeatedly against a big garbage can. It was a scene and a half! But it taught me the true nature of demon activity.

The future has been clearly predicted to us. We will enter a time of extreme difficulty. Daniel speaks of believers being “worn down.” Christians will start to crumble and erode away. It appears that this satanic assault will take apart the lives of most believers, leaving them in a compromised heap on the kitchen floor.

Jesus declares the future as well. He says that in our future we will see the love of many to grow cold. These ‘frigid believers’ will be troubled by sin and darkness. Evil will be more common, and saturate everything. The coldness will creep in.

In 1983 I was hitch hiking in Alaska. My heart was not in a good place. (I had just graduated from Bible school and I felt I had given God enough.) As I walked I saw a red piece of paper in the ditch. Retrieving it I opened it up to read simply, “Be Alert.” I felt a distinct connection to His presence. Walking another 30 yards or so, I spotted another red note. Again, “Be Alert.” I had no doubt God was speaking. When I finally got to my cabin, a call came. It was my mom who just got back from the doctor who had given her a diagnosis of cancer. I was heart-broken, but not ready to pray.

This morning I wish for you the discernment to see what is happening all around. In so many ways, the church is like the prophet Eli. We have lost our sight, and most of our discernment. (1 Samuel 2). I certainly mean no harm by this post. All I have wanted to do is give you a “heads up.” I don’t know what situation you are in at this time. But, Be Alert!

God loves those who struggle. It seems they are in a continual trouble, but the Father’s love will hold them. Their sin will remain, but they’ll be forgiven.

“But you, dear friends, must build each other up in your most holy faith, pray in the power of the Holy Spirit, 21 and await the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will bring you eternal life. In this way, you will keep yourselves safe in God’s love.”

Jude 20-21

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