bipolar disorder – Page 25 – Broken Believers

Of Promises and Plans

To understand this truth is to be set free.

We live in sort of toxic atmosphere that ‘leeches’ out of us God’s sure promises. But we do have significant resources that will keep us secure. What has been given is fortified promises and plans.

“And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.

2 Peter 1:4

Every believer has been given these strong promises. It doesn’t matter if you have a physical or mental illness. God is for you in the midst of your pain and disability. You may be miraclously healed, or you may ‘carry the load’ on a daily basis; God is for you regardless.

“What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us?”

Romans 8:31

When a believer is in a storm, sometimes God will calm it, and other times He will calm the child. Either way we are remarkably protected in His hands. God is for us. We are given ‘promises and plans.’ We may traverse through much difficulty— that seems to be the normal state of things. It seems some will travel from crisis-to-crisis, yet God holds them secure. We will trust Him in the storm.

Think of all you have already been through— search your memories. You will undoubtly recall some hard times, yet you have survived the awful storms.

“I will trust Him. Whatever, wherever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him; in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him; if I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. My sickness, or perplexity, or sorrow may be necessary causes of some great end, which is quite beyond us. He does nothing in vain.”

John Henry Newman

Anchored to Him

“Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. ¹⁹This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary.”

Hebrews 6:18-19, NLT

“Every thing that is done in the world is done by hope.” ~Martin Luther

“To live without hope is to cease to live.” ~Fyodor Dostoevsky

We must never give up our hope. In some sense we must guard our tether that reaches into heaven. The writer of Hebrews develops this idea into an exhortation. We are linked by hope as an “anchor for our souls.”

Many years ago I signed on as a deckhand fishing ‘long line’ for halibut in the Gulf of Alaska. We had to fish for 24 hours straight, we couldn’t put the long line into the water until midnight, and then we went all out until midnight the next day. It was brutal and cold work.

The ship’s anchor was vital. We ‘holed up’ in a sheltered cove were we spent a day resting up near Kodiak Island. I was as green as they come; I dreamed that we would make a fortune the next day. I suppose I was a bit deluded.

Anchors come in a dozen shapes and sizes: some are for muddy bottoms, others for sand or rock. The anchor is the only tether or connection to the ocean floor. It allows the ship to be fixed in one spot temporarily. The open sea is always churning and tides and currents are almost always running; the wind is always a factor.

Waves can get rather dangerous. There can be sense of riding a roll-coaster. I have been at the wheel when water broke over the cabin. I knew real fear. (Watch the movie, “The Perfect Storm.”)

Our own hope is a ‘strong’ and reliable anchor for our souls. Let’s face reality. The storms we are traversing through can be formidable. Sometimes, we honestly wonder if we are going to make it. Having a mental or physical illness gives more credence to the power of the wind and waves.

But we have an anchor; it holds and tethers us to that which is solid and eternal. Our hope is in Jesus; he is both eternal and tender, and ever-present for us. Our anchor holds.

Animated Dust

¹^{8 “}I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, ¹⁹and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired servant.”’

Luke 15:18-19, NLT

“In the same way, when you obey me you should say, ‘We are unworthy servants who have simply done our duty.’”

Luke 17:10

I admit it. I am flawed. I am a contradiction inside of an enigma– at times more a devil than an angel. And today I fancy no pretenses to righteousness. But I can tell you all about sin, I’m thinking that maybe I’ll sell tickets. I’m the spiritual version of “the elephant man.” But yet, I still know that I’m completely loved and secure through faith.

I’m convinced that God’s ability to hold me outweighs all of my sin. His mercy is continually refreshed and continues to exceed my iniquity by a massive margin. I can try to blame my erratic behavior on my mental illness, as I’m reasonably certain that it has something to do with things.

“At best we are but clay, animated dust; but viewed as sinners, we are monsters indeed. Let it be published in heaven as a miracle that the Lord Jesus should set His heart’s love upon people like us.”

Alistair Begg

I will never have it together. At best I can only keep coming back to this Grace that has decided “to never let me go.” I only stand, only because He makes it so. I’ve given up trying to be worthy enough. I seem to chase a ‘laser pointer’ like a over-caffeinated cat, and it is starting to get a little old. (But maybe this time I’ll finally catch it.) Writer Anne Lamott wryly explained her own issues:

“I thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish.”

Anne Lamott

The Holy Scriptures never put human beings on a pedestal. We are never seen as noble or excellent specimens of righteousness. We sin in deed and in thought continually. The parable of the Pharisee and the Tax-collector tells us that a consciousness of sin and a holy God is the only way to be declared just. Both men were rascals, but only one admitted it.

We sin sins of commission and also of omission daily. In fact, I have determined that I have sinned more as a believer than I ever did as a non-believer. This shouldn’t be a surprise, but it is. I’ve been pretty busy the last 32 years. I have been ‘ungodly,’ on more than one occasion.

I want to encourage you today in Him. Life can be such a grind, and your hope anemic. But consider Him who has come for you. Let Jesus take your heaviness, ask Him for His peace. A fair exchange, don”t you think?

Whim-Whams

“In our family “whim-wham” is code, a defanged reference to any number of moods and psychological disorders, be they depressive, manic, or schizoaffective. Back in the 1970s and ’80s – when they were all straight depression – we called them “dark nights of the soul.” St. John of the Cross’s phrase ennobled our sickness, spiritualized it. We cut God out of it after the manic breaks started in 1986, the year my dad, brother, and I were all committed. Call it manic depression or by its new, polite name, bipolar disorder. Whichever you wish. We stick to our folklore and call it the whim-whams.”

— David Lovelace, Scattershot: My Bipolar Family

Speaking in code is often our way of communicating to those who are curious. We seldom tell anyone we have bipolar disorder outright. Some of us tried, and failed; we fall back to “I’m just a little blue today,” or the classic, “I’m just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” We really can be somewhat disingenuous.

All too often these are half-truths that deflect the sticky issues of a mental breakdown. We seek to salvage some kind of dignity, or evade the inevitable stigma that would certainly come if we told the truth. We choose to evade, but at a cost.

I struggle with the stigma of both bipolar disorder and epilepsy. I’m still uncomfortable when others seem uncomfortable with me. So, I have developed a general rule:

Bryan’s Rule #14, “Never reveal your illness, except to qualified people.”

I suppose this adds a layer of personal security. The occasions I have violated this rule have resulted in awkward pauses and odd looks. Afterwards, the relationship changed. It was as if I suddenly sprouted a second head, or something.

As Christian believers, I know we are supposed to walk in the truth. But exactly how truthful am I supposed to be? I’ve always had an iconoclastic streak, and I love stretching the social boundaries of others. Bipolar disorder has been an illness made-to-order for people like me.

Bryan’s Rule #15, “Openness can be a true step toward my healing.”

But it take truth to change. We really need to be honest by bringing things into the light. Obscuring the truth keeps us isolated and distant from others. Will speaking forthrightly about my bipolar disorder be a challenge? Of course. But necessary if I want to heal and cope.

I’m not advocating making a big sign and parading down Main Street. Just to be a bit more honest with others, and ultimately with ourselves. Let’s be comfortable with our own personal “whim-whams.”

To understand this truth is to be set free.

Share this:

“Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. 19 This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary.”

Share this:

Share this:

Bryan’s Rule #14, “Never reveal your illness, except to qualified people.”

Bryan’s Rule #15, “Openness can be a true step toward my healing.”

Share this:

“Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. ¹⁹This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary.”