The Sterile Curse of Social Isolation

“Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.”

Proverbs 18:1

Research reveals the reality of social isolation.  It seems more and more people are veering away from social contact. A Duke University study found that Americans are choosing to become more solitary than ever. Many are eschewing all relations all together.  This is a problem, socially and spiritually.

I’ve seen some of the statistics– fully 25% of people have no relationships at all, and something like 50% have no relationships outside of their spouse and children.  This disturbing trend is building momentum.  In 1985 the figure was just 15%.

I think that a lot of pressure may be coming from the internet, although Facebook and Twitter have reconfigured social connections. Longer work hours, the phone and streaming video, all contribute to the move away from human contact.

The commute time is also a factor.  For every 10 minutes stuck in traffic there is roughly a 10% drop in social relationships.  So if you have a bad commute on I-80 you are more likely not to want to have a friend over.

Hundred years ago our society was far more geared for personal contact.  People would regularly visit each other.  Neighbors knew each other.  There were parlor games and dinners.  Music recitations and skits.  Card parties. Television and radio had not yet grabbed the countries psyche.  Sociologists and anthropologists confirm that our history was deep in contact with each other.  We were not built for solitary living.

With community life disappearing people are turning to online relationships. Our churches are trying to adapt, as even Christians are not connecting like they should.  I have been out in the Alaskan bush villages, and the older generation is frustrated because the younger generation seems to be in trouble.  “They don’t pick berries, or hunt; all they do is sit in front of the TV playing Nintendo, or their laptops.”

We need fellowship with others, and God as well. There are very few solitary believers.

I guess the biggest issue of all is mental illness.  Social isolation is a direct part of depression and other disorders.  In order to get better, people must reach out and connect.  There is no substitute, no other option.

I see the shift in my own life. I am seeking to back off from being online 6-8 hours a day.  I am trying to be around flesh & blood as often as possible.  I am personally trying to consciously maximize that time.

It keeps me healthier.

To be healthier, we think its physical.  We have our gym memberships and we run on the treadmill.  That is good.  But I’m thinking we are losing out if we don’t workout socially (and spiritually) as well. Christians are  a special species; we need fellowship with others, and God as well. There are no solitary believers.

“A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire: To cut one’s self off from family, friends, and community is often to express a selfish desire. It shows an unwillingness to make the small (and sometimes large) sacrifices to get along with others.”

David Guzik, enduringword.com

“This is the message you have heard from the beginning: We should love one another.”

1 John 3:11, NLT

Tears Do Things

I’ve been thinking a lot about tears lately—in part because Pastor Bryan pointed out to me how many hits my post titled God Keeps Your Tears in a Bottle has had, in part because I’ve cried more than a few tears this year, and in part because I’ve been listening to Johnny Cash’s Cry, Cry, Cry in my car all week—and I thought I’d share my thoughts with you all here.

First of all, people cry for a lot of reasons.

Earlier this year my sister died of breast cancer at only 61 years old. I cried, a lot. It’s normal and even helpful to shed tears over the death of a loved one even if we know where they are going when they die, because it allows us to express the grief we feel over not having them in our lives any more here on earth.

I remember a time I had a previous boss say some very cruel things to me in front of other people. She accused me of having done things I had not based on motives I did not have. I was very angry, hurt, and frustrated. And I cried, a lot. I didn’t cry in front of her, mind you, but afterwards I did. And it was good to express that anger to others.

Just yesterday I experienced unexpected tears.

I was reciting the prayers of the people in church, which I’ve done many times. Our church has many prayer concerns for members, family, and friends with health concerns and more. Towards the end of the prayer I began to lift up prayers for a church member’s brother-in-law who is a pastor back in New York because he is faced with conducting the funerals of two teens who had been killed in an accident last week.

I recently wrote this poem.

Tears

Tears of sorrow, anger
drench my soul
course without end
eroding pain, anguish

Where once only aching
occupied my heart
now is a deep empty ravine
carved by a river of tears

Tears of forgiveness
water my soul’s riverbed
allowing flowers of love
to flourish and grow

Peace arises in my heart
held aloft by God’s promises
the fragrance of sweet alyssum
blossoms of my soul

I think the saddest tears of all, though, are the tears of major clinical depression. These tears are so sad because the one who cries them doesn’t know what purpose they serve.

I remember when I was suffering from depression sitting in a chair and just crying. When someone asked me why I was crying all I could say was, “I don’t know.” And I truly didn’t. The tears didn’t wash away pain; they only seemed to make it all the worse.

In the midst of such tears, there is One who knows their purpose.

Romans 8:26 says: “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” Through prayer God can sometimes lead us to an understanding of the purpose of the tears of depression, and ultimately to healing.

That makes your tears a good thing.

Henry Ward Beecher

Check out Linda’s site.

To Be, Rather Than Seem to Be

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“When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.”

Genesis 3:6-7

The broken believer survives because he or she is constantly having to move toward “authenticity.” There exists a credibility and a realness about them. You’ll suddenly realize that you’re talking with someone who is real. They’ve stepped out of the wreckage and have survived their personal catastrophes. This doesn’t come easy.

It is a rarity and a gift.

On the other hand, we see those wrapped up in so much self-imposed deception that can’t admit anything is wrong. Like the problem drinker who denies he has a problem, we can’t handle the reality and drink to alter it. The addicted are compelled to live a delusion of their own choices, and soon discover they are hopelessly trapped. And so we hide under our favorite bush.

(Euphoria was my favorite.)

“When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”

Genesis 3:8

There is a Latin phrase, esse quam videri; to be rather than seem to be.” We would rather be “seeming to be” than actually just “be.” The sons of Adam and the daughters of Eve are still using “fig leaves.” We don’t want to deal with the truth about ourselves and face the sin of our lives. But it seems to be more than that.

The struggler and the broken believer may try to conceal themselves.

They may hold up an image that deflects the curious onlooker from seeing the real them. We won’t deal with the truth, and we choose to hide ourselves. We want to be seen as “together” even if we are not. It is all about looking good. This is pretense and sham. We dodge and deflect.

“And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil.”

John 3:19

 This was Jesus’ indictment of the human heart. I wish it was otherwise.

Each day I must put to death my old self. Take my meds, and ask the Lord for strength to stay real. No more pretense, and no more projecting a false self to others (and myself.) I choose reality over fantasy.

The Holy Spirit is eagerly waiting to fill me. In this I discover I can live well with the strength and joy He gives me.

“The God who can change a sinner into a Christian by giving him His life can equally transform the fleshly Christian into a spiritual one by giving him His life more abundantly.”

—Watchman Nee

Lord Jesus, may it be that the real me meets the real You. Keep me real and authentic. Amen.


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The Glory of Gripping Things

Acts 17:33 Artwork | Bible Art

I never had an opportunity to attend a seminary, and only have a three year diploma from a Bible Institute. But I’ve had to rely on the Holy Spirit in ways that a seminary trained pastor will never really understand. I’ve come to see the wisdom in the way God has led me.

“It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out.”

Proverbs 25:2

Concealing things and searching for things are contrasting actions. God hides things purposefully–they are sort of like a spiritual version of “Where’s Waldo.” Certain things are hidden, but always in plain sight.

Searching for things should definitely be our own response. The word used in Hebrew means to investigate, but with a planned purpose. It’s more than curiosity, rather it’s a passionate curiosity. And the Holy Spirit is always pleased with that.

In the New Testament book of Acts (17:11) we can see this attitude of the Bereans. They were the only ones in Scripture to be called “noble minded” for their serious study and thought. When they heard Paul’s teaching they sat down, opened their Bibles and began to investigate for themselves.

But it will always take humility. Always.

Intellect is important but it’s not enough. The list seen below is something to work through, and the issue is one that has been a challenge for me through 40+ years of following Jesus.

Here’s a study that I’m confident will bless you.

Justification & Sanctification– Gripping the Two
  •  Justification is free (John 4:1)
  • Sanctification is costly (Lk. 14:25-33)
  • Justification is instantaneous (Jn. 3:8)
  • Sanctification is a lifelong process (Jn. 8:31)
  • Justification is by faith (Eph. 2:8)
  • Sanctification is by faithfulness (1 Cor. 4:2)
  • Justification is not of works (Eph. 2:9)
  • Sanctification is of works (Eph. 2:10)
  • Justification involves Christ’s love for me (Jn. 3:16)
  • Sanctification involves my love for Christ (1 Jn. 4:19)
  • Justification concerns Christ’s righteousness (2 Cor. 5:21)
  • Sanctification concerns my righteousness (Lk. 14:25-33)
  • Justification involves my position in Christ (Col. 2:11-14)
  • Sanctification involves my practice (Col. 3:1-11)
  • Justification considers what God has done (1 Cor. 15:3-4)
  • Sanctification considers what I am doing (Lk. 14:25-33)
  • Justification is God’s commitment to me (1 Jn. 5:9-13)
  • Sanctification is my commitment to God (Jn. 14:15)
  • Justification requires obedience to one command: to believe the Gospel (Ac. 6:7)
  • Sanctification requires obedience to all of Christ’s commands (Matt. 28:19-20)
  • Justification focuses on the cross which Jesus took up once and for all (1 Cor. 1:18)
  • Sanctification focuses on the cross which I am to take up daily (Lk. 9:53)
  • Justification is finished at the moment of faith (Jn. 5:24)
  • Sanctification is not finished until I go to be with the Lord (1 Cor. 9:24-27)

Discerning between the two should only be a blessing. In some sense working through the differences between justification and sanctification should energize you, and bring truth to your walk. Now you might disagree, but let it be after you’ve worked through this list.

“I have more understanding than all my teachers, for your testimonies are my meditation.”

Psalm 119:99

The author of the above ‘list’ is unknown. May they be blessed by this if they should read this post.
 
 
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