Animated Dust

face

18 “I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, 19 and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired servant.”’

Luke 15:18-19, NLT

“In the same way, when you obey me you should say, ‘We are unworthy servants who have simply done our duty.’”

Luke 17:10

 flourish14

I admit it. I am flawed. I am a contradiction inside of an enigma– at times more a devil than an angel. And today I fancy no pretenses to righteousness. But I can tell you all about sin, I’m thinking that maybe I’ll sell tickets. I’m the spiritual version of “the elephant man.” But yet, I still know that I’m completely loved and secure through faith.

I’m convinced that God’s ability to hold me outweighs all of my sin. His mercy is continually refreshed and continues to exceed my iniquity by a massive margin. I can try to blame my erratic behavior on my mental illness, as I’m reasonably certain that it has something to do with things.

“At best we are but clay, animated dust; but viewed as sinners, we are monsters indeed. Let it be published in heaven as a miracle that the Lord Jesus should set His heart’s love upon people like us.”

Alistair Begg

I will never have it together. At best I can only keep coming back to this Grace that has decided “to never let me go.” I only stand, only because He makes it so.  I’ve given up trying to be worthy enough. I seem to chase a ‘laser pointer’ like a over-caffeinated cat, and it is starting to get a little old. (But maybe this time I’ll finally catch it.) Writer Anne Lamott wryly explained her own issues:

“I thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish.” 

Anne Lamott

The Holy Scriptures never put human beings on a pedestal. We are never seen as noble or excellent specimens of righteousness. We sin in deed and in thought continually. The parable of the Pharisee and the Tax-collector tells us that a consciousness of sin and a holy God is the only way to be declared just. Both men were rascals, but only one admitted it.

We sin sins of commission and also of omission daily. In fact, I have determined that I have sinned more as a believer than I ever did as a non-believer. This shouldn’t be a surprise, but it is. I’ve been pretty busy the last 32 years. I have been ‘ungodly,’ on more than one occasion.

I want to encourage you today in Him. Life can be such a grind, and your hope anemic. But consider Him who has come for you. Let Jesus take your heaviness, ask Him for His peace. A fair exchange, don”t you think?

Pastor Bryan Lowe
Pastor Bryan Lowe

aabryscript

Whim-Whams

getty_rm_photo_of_woman_seen_through_eyeglasses_of_another

“In our family “whim-wham” is code, a defanged reference to any number of moods and psychological disorders, be they depressive, manic, or schizoaffective. Back in the 1970s and ’80s – when they were all straight depression – we called them “dark nights of the soul.” St. John of the Cross’s phrase ennobled our sickness, spiritualized it. We cut God out of it after the manic breaks started in 1986, the year my dad, brother, and I were all committed. Call it manic depression or by its new, polite name, bipolar disorder. Whichever you wish. We stick to our folklore and call it the whim-whams.”

— David LovelaceScattershot: My Bipolar Family

flourish2

Speaking in code is often our way of communicating to those who are curious. We seldom tell anyone we have bipolar disorder outright. Some of us tried, and failed; we fall back to “I’m just a little blue today,” or the classic, “I’m just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” We really can be somewhat disingenuous.

All too often these are half-truths that deflect the sticky issues of a mental breakdown. We seek to salvage some kind of dignity, or evade the inevitable stigma that would certainly come if we told the truth. We choose to evade, but at a cost.

I struggle with the stigma of both bipolar disorder and epilepsy. I’m still uncomfortable when others seem uncomfortable with me. So, I have developed a general rule:

Bryan’s Rule #14, “Never reveal your illness, except to qualified people.”

I suppose this adds a layer of personal security. The occasions I have violated this rule have resulted in awkward pauses and odd looks. Afterwards, the relationship changed. It was as if I suddenly sprouted a second head, or something.

As Christian believers, I know we are supposed to walk in the truth. But exactly how truthful am I supposed to be? I’ve always had an iconoclastic streak, and I love stretching the social boundaries of others. Bipolar disorder has been an illness made-to-order for people like me.

Bryan’s Rule #15, “Openness can be a true step toward my healing.”

But it take truth to change. We really need to be honest by bringing things into the light. Obscuring the truth keeps us isolated and distant from others. Will speaking forthrightly about my bipolar disorder be a challenge? Of course. But necessary if I want to heal and cope.

I’m not advocating making a big sign and parading down Main Street. Just to be a bit more honest with others, and ultimately with ourselves. Let’s be comfortable with our own personal “whim-whams.”

aabryscript

 

*Dis–joint-ed Ideas* Out of Matthew 25:1-13

Ten-virgins-parable
 
KJV—————————->
 
Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom.

2 And five of them were wise, and five were foolish.

3 They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them:

4 But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps.

5 While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept.

6 And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him.

7 Then all those virgins arose, and trimmed their lamps.

8 And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out.

9 But the wise answered, saying, Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves.

10 And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut.

11 Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, Lord, Lord, open to us.

12 But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know you not.

13 Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.

King James Version

 
 
NLT—————————>
 
“Then the Kingdom of Heaven will be like ten bridesmaids who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. 2 Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. 3 The five who were foolish didn’t take enough olive oil for their lamps, 4 but the other five were wise enough to take along extra oil. 5 When the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and fell asleep.

6 “At midnight they were roused by the shout, ‘Look, the bridegroom is coming! Come out and meet him!’

7 “All the bridesmaids got up and prepared their lamps. 8 Then the five foolish ones asked the others, ‘Please give us some of your oil because our lamps are going out.’

9 “But the others replied, ‘We don’t have enough for all of us. Go to a shop and buy some for yourselves.’

10 “But while they were gone to buy oil, the bridegroom came. Then those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was locked. 11 Later, when the other five bridesmaids returned, they stood outside, calling, ‘Lord! Lord! Open the door for us!’

12 “But he called back, ‘Believe me, I don’t know you!’

13 “So you, too, must keep watch! For you do not know the day or hour of my return.

 New Living Translation

In recent years I have heard nothing relevant from Matthew 25. Zilch. Why? I honestly don’t know.

The language he uses in this chapter is not only important– but also quite evocative. Even winsome, like the resplendently gorgeous flowers you just have to pick from your neighbors flowerbed. They are the solar plexus kind of trouncingly beautiful.

goldilocks_tarrantWhichever version you like best must carry the authority of the original speaker– his imprimatur if you will– to be real, and valid and even significant. Now Jesus Christ is not speaking out some “weirdy nursery tale” to comfort us. This isn’t “Goldilocks and the Three Bears.” Not even close.

This group of parables, spoke from the mouth and mind of the Lord Jesus Christ (the Creator and Savior and Lord) is meant to connect with us. Try running out in a empty field, with a steel fence post in a the middle of a fierce, lightning storm– you’ll get connected with– real quick! Now back on the farm, you know that you take the needed shelter in a bad storm. One of my great-Aunties was electrocuted in a cast iron bed while sleeping (this led to the conversion of my Uncle Art, who became a prolific evangelist.)

The words of Jesus are not meant to be ignored, or even trifled with. Maybe minimized or entertained or even played with. His words are meant to sizzle, or “crisp us up.” Either way we dare not disregard, or demean them. If we even try, we will end up as very foolish virgins. gotoil

It must be duly noted that 50% missed it completely. But to their credit they really tried to make it work, having the awareness to try to “fix” things, and become available. But the painful part of these 13 verses was the stark-mad fear of not being able to “catch up.”

idea-light-icoBut run this through your “hopper.” MAYBE, I am missing something here? (It wouldn’t be the first time.) Let me know, ok?

 

*
kyrie eleison, Bryan

(Lord, have mercy)

*

Tobacco Use: Putting Down the Cigarette

By Brendan McLean, NAMI Communications Manager

Studies have shown that individuals living with mental illness die 25 years earlier than the general population. Part of the reason is due to smoking related diseases. At the end of July, the Smoking Cessation Leadership Center held a webinar on the importance of quitting smoking.

“Peers Helping Peers: Ways to Quit Tobacco with Rx for Change” consisted of a panel of experts from around the country, including Ken Duckworth, M.D., medical director of NAMI, and discussed the addictive power of tobacco, ways that will help people quit smoking and the role peer counselors can play.

Individuals living with mental illness are disproportionately represented among those who smoke. Forty-four percent of people who smoke have a mental illness. However, this percentage can be much higher when compared to a specific mental illness. For example, studies have shown that between 62 and 90 percent of individuals living with schizophrenia smoke.

This high rate of smoking means that one-half of the 435,000 tobacco related deaths that occur in the U.S. each year are people who have a mental illness. NAMI Hearts & Minds was created to offer resources on quitting smoking and other healthy lifestyle choices that promote wellness in both mind and body.

So why is smoking common among people who live with mental illness? As Frank Vitale, the National Director of the Pharmacy Partnership for Tobacco Cessation, states in the webinar , smoking was often used as a reward in psychiatric hospitals. “The culture has promoted smoking in a sense,” he said. “I remember working in a psychiatric hospital and we were literally told to tell patients that if you take your medication you can smoke. Or if you go to group you can smoke.”

Helping individuals living with mental illness who smoke can produce a number of benefits. As described by Vitale in the webinar, there are six benefits.

  1. It can improve the overall quality of life.
  2. It can increase the length and number of healthy years of life.
  3. It can improve the effects of medication. Hydrocarbons, which are produced when anything is burned, cause the body to metabolize medications faster than you normally would. As a consequence, many people who smoke often need more medication than if they did not smoke. However, if the individual decides to quit, their clinician should be alerted so they can adjust the amount of medication the individual is receiving.
  4. It can decrease social isolation. Many people who don’t smoke are often hesitant to socialize with those who do.
  5. It can save money—lots of money. Cigarette packs cost nearly $8 in D.C. and upwards of $15 in Manhattan. Over the course of 50 years, if a person were to only smoke one pack of cigarettes a day, at $6 a pack, one would spend nearly $110,000.
  6. It helps promote recovery.

The problem is that there has been lack of focus on smoking cessation by mental health providers. Some providers believed that doing so caused an increased risk of relapse: symptoms would worsen or the individual would return to abusing drugs or alcohol. However, research has shown that there is no truth to either of these claims.

The truth, though, is that people want to quit. Nearly 75 percent of current smokers have said they want to quit and 65 percent have tried to quit in the last year. But sometimes you just need a little help. To learn more about the importance of quitting smoking and how peers can help, listen to a recording of the webinar online.

Thank You, Nami

This is a terrific post dealing with a major issue with those of us who struggle so hard, with mental illness. Think this through and let me know what you think. Pastor Bryan can be reached at,  flash99603@hotmail.com

“How I finally quit smoking!” A Great Blog and a Super Post.

http://wp.me/p1rYch-ZN