Category: humility

Without Your Wound, Where Would Your Power Be? 

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The subject of “the pool at Bethesda” alludes to the Thorton Wilder play, “The Angel that Troubled the Waters.” 

The play is based on the biblical verses of John 5:1-4, however, it changes the end of the parable. 

The play tells of a physician who comes to the pool of Bethesda, hoping to see the stir, and then be the first in the water, and healed of his melancholy and debilitating depression.  An angel appears and troubles the water. Everybody at the pool hopes to be the first one in and to be healed of their disability.

…………………………………………………………………

An angel appears and blocks the physician at the very moment he is ready to step into the pool and be healed.

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Angel: “Drawback, physician, this moment is not for you.”

Physician: “Angelic visitor, I pray thee, listen to my prayer.

Angel: “This healing dear physician, is not for you.”

Physician: “Surely, surely, the angels are wise. Surely, O Prince, you are not deceived by my apparent wholeness. Your eyes can see the nets in which my wings are caught; the sin into which all my endeavors sink half-performed, cannot be concealed from you.”

Angel: “I know.”

Physician: “Oh, in such an hour was I born, and doubly fearful to me is the flaw in my heart. Must I drag my shame, Prince and Singer, all my days more bowed than my neighbor?”

Angel: “Without your wound where would your power be?” 

“It is your very sadness that makes your low voice tremble into the hearts of men. The very angels themselves, cannot persuade the wretched, and blundering children on earth, as can one human being broken on the wheels of living.

“In Love’s service, only the wounded soldiers can serve. Drawback.”

Later, the person who enters the pool first, and was healed rejoices in his good fortune, then turns to the physician before leaving and says:

“But come with me first, an hour only, to my home. My son is lost in dark thoughts. I — I do not understand him, and only you have ever lifted his mood.”

“Only an hour… my daughter, since her child has died, sits in the shadow. She will not listen to us, but she will listen to you.”

…………………………………………………………………

For me, the play pierces me with the understanding that comes from this wonderful line— “Without your wound where would your power be?“ That causes me to look at my many weaknesses with a very different perspective.

Paul’s teachings offer us a powerful revelation: it is through our weaknesses that we can authentically minister to others, just as Jesus did going to the cross. This concept, slowly permeating my understanding, emphasizes the transformative nature of my own pain and vulnerability.

Paul boldly declares that it is the very things we perceive as weak that have the potential to cultivate strength and truth within us and to others. It is my sincere hope that brokenbelievers.com, through its ministry, will impact lives by embracing this profound truth.

I hope so anyway. Pray for Linda. Pray for me.

I first encountered this excerpt in the book, “Abba’s Child: The Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging,” by Brennan Manning. The book is a worthy read, and if you can find it, you’ll be blessed.

Please check out Brennan Manning’s Facebook page for more info.

Please check out my newest, alaskabibleteacher.com.

 

Scandalous Joy

Do the Dance-- For Him

“And David was dancing before the Lord with all his might, and David was wearing a linen ephod.”

2 Samuel 6:13-15

“The most valuable thing the Psalms do for me is to express the same delight in God which made David dance.”

     C.S. Lewis

It seems I’m the world’s worst and the clumsiest of all.  And since my brain surgery, it has gotten even worse. I fall several times every month.  I need to use a cane now.  (And if you look up “klutz” in the dictionary you’ll see my picture, lol.) 😃

When I start to dance, you had better head for higher ground! 

Even so, I do love the idea of dancing, but I’m like Bozo, the circus clown, only wearing roller skates!  I lurch from side-to-side and I’m always on the verge of falling on someone’s lap, which is a real hoot!

But there is just one dance that I am waiting for.

It’s the dance I’ll have with my Savior.  There will be a day, in a place and time where He will call me home and He himself will teach me how to dance.  I know it’ll be incredible, and it’s a day that I anticipate, and honestly, I hope it comes soon. (He’s finally going to heal me!)

But to really dance you must first liberate your heart. 

You must cancel out all self-consciousness.  If you are self-aware, you will never enter into the joy and wonder of the true dance.  You will be a perpetual wallflower, living only on the edges.  And, you will be very sad.

It seems you must dance in your heart before you can ever dance with your feet.

I desperately would like to dance. And when I see Him clearly on that day, I’ll have no cane to slow me down. I will be as graceful, and to be perfectly honest, I won’t be watching you, (I’m sorry). I will see only Jesus. And I believe that my heart will beat for Him exclusively.

Jesus shed His blood for me.

I belong to Him. He forgave all my sin and has given me eternal life. Knowing this fills me with such joy that my feet won’t stand still. He redeems me, and is this not a cause for a dance, or two, or maybe three? Maybe eternity will be filled with more joy than we ever dreamed possible?

Some of you have been damaged; mashed up in the grinding gears of life, chewed up and spit out. It’s hard to dance. I understand.

But I also know that your life can be astonishingly full of grace– you have endured so much, and yet Jesus intends to occupy your thoughts and vision with real hope. As His disciple, you’ll discover your special dance. And when you finally see Him, your heart will finally be free to spin and twirl.

He after all is the dancing Lord.

“Young women and young men, together with the elderly, will celebrate and dance because I will comfort them and turn their sorrow into happiness.”

Jeremiah 31:13

Grinding It Out

 Sometimes the only way out is through. 

Often there is so much of  ‘life’ that we must try to handle. There’s far too many things that confuse us. Faced with many issues beyond our control, we seldom seek the best answer. We are hoping just to survive reasonably unscathed through the latest intense conflict.

Mental illness has its unique trials. Those of us afflicted know the instability it brings us. We go from crisis-to-collapse everyday, (and sometimes even before lunch-time!) Some people have no concept of how much energy it takes just trying to appear ‘normal.’

Sometimes sadness is the best we can do. Trying to find a positive note seems empty and futile. I know a woman who must battle with pain every day. She has to manage every minute of every day with her handicap. She is a wonderful Christian, and she still exudes a gentle faith in her Savior.

We may seem cursed in this life. But Jesus died for this. His love for you is constant and sure.

Sometimes however the only way out is through. We simply must go through the many issues that face us. We must plow through such darkness, that has no precedent. We are the rescued ones, but only because he has made us so. The lost are now found. And we were really, really lost.

We go through, but not without grace. We may step through, but not without pain. So much of our confusion rides on a fascination with the ways of sin and darkness. The ways of the “dark one” may enchant us, but never fulfill us.

We can rest in that we are our Father’s foremost concern.

“He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake”

We can puncture the surrounding evil by a simple decision to be faithful to Jesus. Darkness may pursue us, but it will never defeat us. We advance through this pain to the glory of God. He alone can make us triumph. Only Him.

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus”

Philippians 1:6

“I do not understand the mystery of grace — only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us.”

— Anne Lamott

Doctor’s Orders

 “And hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

Mark 2:17

I am convinced that as “master strugglers,” who just happen to be believers, that there is a deep truth we must understand. In a nutshell, the terribly weak get sprinkled purposefully into our churches–they have a much needed ministry, a honest calling to become the ‘audio-visual’ (AV) department of our churches.

Remember “show-and-tell’ in grade school?

We display for all who can see, especially us, the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. We can be really mixed up, and really confused. But in contrast, He has become our everything, Jesus is now our all in all. As AV people, we show and declare the deep kindnesses of God. We stumble more than others, and we definitely display His grace.

We are meant to be seen and heard, because that is what the AV department does best.

But that is really not our natural tendency. We hate our many failures. But Jesus spoke of becoming a “candle on a lamp stand,” that gives light into the house. I suppose because of all our inconsistencies, this is often frightening–but this is our certain place in a dark, and very foolish world.

We’re now on display, whether we like it or not.

Because we belong to the AV department, we’re compelled to announce the solid mercy and kindness of God. Maybe in this short life, that is all we can really do. Fair enough. But still we hear that frightening call to become visible for Him, and to point to His fantastic glory. Jesus deserves this, and it seems He uses the worst He can find.

It seems we know far more about sin than we do about holiness.

We may become quite intimidated by this ‘special ministry.’ It seems we know far more about sin than we do about holiness. Quite a few of us are expert sinners. Some of us have our  Ph.D in sin and failure. We have taken training in failure, and are quite proficient in it.

“This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them all.”

1 Timothy 1:15, NLT

Our sins and weaknesses, depressions and sicknesses, have become even more evident over time. We are the ones who walk with a definite limp. We will falter, and we stumble. But we continue to turn to Jesus–over and over. And in this persistent action, others will see the immense mercy that is poured out on rascals such as us. We will be those AV people.

As messed up as we are we keep coming repeatedly, over and over and over. We keep hanging on, and keep finding forgiveness and grace.

We dare not let go.

“Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.”

John 6:68

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