A Fog Like a Cage Without a Key

Walking-in-the-Fog“That’s the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it’s impossible to ever see the end. The fog is like a cage without a key.”

Elizabeth Wurtzel

Depression is a stealthy thief; anxiety is like an unwanted guest. Both are brutal companions to have skulking around. They carry misery wheresoever they go.

A good many people simply don’t understand you. They often chalk up feelings like this to a lack of faith. And true, there maybe these issues. We understand having faith to be healed. But what about faith to be sick? Isn’t this just as important?

I have to believe that being a broken believer, with a mental illness, is as formidable challenge. I have to believe that holding a faith in a merciful God in my depression is as critical as any miraculous healing. [It may even take more faith.]

I believe in supernatural healing. Jesus Christ is the same today as when He walked the shores of Galilee. I trust in His grace and know His power. Many are touched by His healing hand.

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” 

Hebrews 13:8

Depression comes– and it irrevocably changes me. But mixed with an ample dose of His love, it loses much of the sting. I know it is painful and seems endless. But the Lord promises to deliver me, and He is always faithful. Always faithful. Always.

Faith handles chronic depression quite handily. It has never lost a single bout. I want to encourage you today. If you’re not in the throes of deep depression now, begin to build your faith for those lean times ahead. Start to stock up provisions spiritually.

If I have throughly confused you, I apologize. Perhaps this post was meant for someone else, and that’s ok too. Oh, and that fog— there is a key.

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 1:6, NASB

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When Your Soul is Helpless

Psalm 86:1, A Cry for Help

(A prayer of David)

1″Lord, listen to me and answer me.
I am poor and helpless.”

There is a poverty that far exceeds anything physical.  It is not tied to our checking account or our investment portfolio.  We are poor people; quite destitute as a clear matter of fact.  We are penniless, and truly destitute of all things spiritual.  We don’t have, rather we  owe.

We are really nothing more than helpless beggars.  

Some of us gather at the King’s gate, truly assured we are nothing more than “sinners saved by a wondrous grace”.  We have to admit, we can never earn or achieve a spot in heaven.  This is quite embarrassing for us, that there is such a social pressure to be good and proper. (Funny, but yesterday I went out for a bit and when I got home I discover my pants were unzipped.  I was mortified.  But this brought home to me the embarrassment of being “undone”).

In some infinitesimal way, I was tapping into this deep feeling of being undone and shamed. But without knowing this sensation (spiritually speaking) we will go to our graves trying to excuse ourselves, and trying to avoid admitting our sin.  We point to our environment, trying to divert attention to something or someone else.

Jesus told us in Matthew 5, “Blessed are the poor in spirit… and blessed are those who mourn.”  It seems we are not suppose to attain, but obtain.  To take a certain forgiveness and a sincere mercy from Him.  He will give it freely to any who sense their need.  If you don’t ask, you simply will not receive.

King David spiritually understood his own poverty before the Almighty.  In spite of his deep weakness and evil, he knew that God was still approachable, and that He was listening to anything and everything David shared with Him.  This is a whole another level of faith.  It strikes us as arrogant and slightly outrageous.  “David, the cold and unfeeling murderer– the ugly adulterer?  How can this be?”

But it takes poverty to become “poor in spirit.”  What I mean is this.  To be a sinner, we must’ve sin.  We become beggars, by begging.  We need to stand at the corner, with our cardboard sign and our cup and confront others with our desperate need. We must do this spiritually.

In our discipleship, we simply can’t unhitch the wagon from our spiritual poverty.  We are exactly who we are.  Luther once said, “Sin boldly, but believe in God more boldly still.”  If we think that he was permitting sin, we are being astonishingly stupid.  Through this quote we come to a truth, allowing us to just accept who we are– “world-class” sinners! But also to believe, deep down, in a God who loves us profoundly and completely.

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5

Picking Out a Kitten

cute-kittensOne of the highlights in a child’s life is choosing a kitten, it will rank up there with many other memories. It’s often the first big decision they will make on their own.

The child will be introduced to a litter, and then be encouraged to choose. And typically there will be some hard picks, but often it comes down, not to the most playful and adorable, but the kitten in some way different from the rest. 

Often the kitten chosen will not be the prettiest or liveliest of the bunch. It maybe lame or “weak” in some way. However once that child embraces that kitten, the bond is irrevocable. We could insist they make a better choice– thrusting another kitten at them, but ultimately it’s their choice. We shake our heads, acquiescent to our child’s choice.

The bonding is surprisingly quick and strong. They’ve made their pick, and they won’t be persuaded to take another. The parent must be content that things will work out somehow. They have decided. 

“For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you, because our gospel came to you not only in word, but also in power and in the Holy Spirit and with full conviction.”

! Thessalonians 1:4, ESV

To be chosen is the highest privilege and honor there is.We may not be the best or the brightest but God has selected us to be his very own.

“For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth.28 God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, 29 so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.”

1 Corinthians 1:26, 28-29

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A little rough around the edges

We might be mangy,  flea-bitten. Many are deeply dysfunctional and profoundly flawed. Often we are the misfits and the loser. Yet he has chosen us to be his very own. He loves us not because we are special; but he makes us special because he loves us. 

Someone once said that if God had a refrigerator that your picture would be on it.

Beloved, this kind of love is good news for most of us. We are not chosen because we are pretty or talented, you see we are not vital to the kingdom. Rather we’re chosen because he wants us.

See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are!”

1 John 3:1, NLT

You are God’s choice. Now the trick is to learn about walking as it. Prayer, worship and fellowship with the many others who are also chosen will bring you understanding. The Holy Spirit will show you how.

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A 100% Authentic Sinner

‘This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them all.”  

1 Tim. 1:15, NLT

There are some things that can be easily understood, they are obvious.  As believers, there are certain things that are just written in stone.  They are revealed to us in a moment of time, and give us dimensions to a knowable truth.  In this case, ‘people sin all the time’. Our essential nature as a human being is to sin. We are “factories of sin.”

Paul’s relationship has its starting point in theology.  He declares to us directly the perhaps ultimate fact in the entire universe.  Jesus has come for sinners.  Sinners, transgressors, perverts, and the foolishly ignorant are special recipients of a grace that is irresistible.  This is why Jesus came, to find us who have been so twisted up by life, and left wrecked by the side of the road.

It’s funny but I have a point of departure with Paul’s proclamation of being the worst, or the chief of sinners.  I contend with it because I know and believe in my own wickedness.  (I’ve always felt Paul was a bit premature on this).  My own iniquity is such that I feel I can supplant Paul’s personal place.

But in this central verse in 1 Tim 1:15 lays out some vital truth.

  • Jesus has come.
  • He has focused on the “world.”
  • His purpose in coming was to save each of us.
  • Paul understands and thinks he is the ultimate sinner.

Who are we, exactly?  I think we need to realize that scriptural truth has come to us, and rather some diverse mist that just accepts all of us just as we are.  Rather, it’s more like each of us accepting God’s terms of what is theologically real and walking away from it, having absorbed the truth.

It is true, that united with Christ I live a resurrected life. But there can be no resurrection with something dying first. Both are needful. Both are to be part of our theology. Thats what is really important.

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