“…they should be gentle and show true humility to everyone.”
Titus 3:2
“Humility is perfect quietness of heart. It is for me to have no trouble; never to be fretted or vexed or irritated or sore or disappointed. It is to expect nothing, to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me and when I am blamed or despised.
It is to have a blessed home in the Lord where I can go in and shut the door and kneel to my Father in secret and be at peace as in a deep sea of calmness when all around is trouble. It is the fruit of the Lord Jesus Christ’s redemptive work on Calvary’s cross, manifested in those of His own who are definitely subject to the Holy Spirit.”
—Andrew Murray
As believers who have been broken on the wheel of life, we will sometimes struggle with “the what-ifs”. What if I could have stayed stable, we ask ourselves. We are so busy thinking about what-could-of-been and we miss the opportunities we now have as a broken person. Murray apparently reached a place where he could find peace with whatever happened.
We who struggle with depression, or with mania or delusions have much to deal with. We are not really accepted by our pastors and church and it seems we fight a very private battle. It seems that we will never reach our potential. Humility becomes a way to escape many of these issues.
But no matter what happens, through whatever misunderstanding I must endure, peace is found in humbling myself. Without humility there will not be any peace.
Someone once told me, “always try to do someone else’s will rather than your own.”
“How great victory was that which Jonathon must have gained over himself, when he rejoiced to see David raised above him! He discerned the mind of God in David, and had so learned to delight in God, that he did not see in David one who was to outshine him, but another faithful man raised up for God and Israel.”
–Robert C. Chapman
Someone once told me, “always try to do someone else’s will rather than your own.” I think that is excellent advice.
“Messy Spirituality:” A Book Excerpt by Mike Yaconelli
“For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a godly person. Yet when I look at the yesterdays of my life, what I see, mostly, is a broken, irregular path littered with mistakes and failure. I have had temporary successes and isolated moments of closeness to God, but I long for the continuing presence of Jesus.
Most of the moments of my life seem hopelessly tangled in a web of obligations and distractions. I want to be a good person. I don’t want to fail. I want to learn from my mistakes, rid myself of distractions, and run into the arms of Jesus. Most of the time, however, I feel like I am running away from Jesus into the arms of my own clutteredness. I want desperately to know God better. I want to be consistent. Right now the only consistency in my life is my inconsistency. Who I want to be and who I am are not very close together. I am not doing well at the ‘living-a-consistent-life’ thing.
I don’t want to be St. John of the Cross or Billy Graham. I just want to be remembered as a person who loved God, who served others more than he served himself, who was trying to grow in maturity and stability. I want to have more victories than defeats, yet here I am, almost 60, and I fail on a regular basis.
If I were to die today, I would be nervous about what people would say at my funeral. I would be happy if they said things like “He was a nice guy” or “He was occasionally decent” or “Mike wasn’t as bad as a lot of people. ”Unfortunately, eulogies are delivered by people who know the deceased. I know what the consensus would be.“Mike was a mess.”
You might say Christianity has a tradition of messy spirituality. Messy prophets, messy kings, messy disciples, messy apostles. From God’s people getting in one mess after another in the Old Testament to most of the New Testament’s being written to straighten out messes in the church, the Bible presents a glorious story of a very messy faith. Sounds like you and I are in good company.
A few years ago, I was introduced to a group of uncouth Christians who call themselves “the Notorious Sinners.” These are men from all walks of life who meet once a year to openly share their messy spirituality with each other. The title ‘Notorious Sinners’ refers to the scandalous category of forgiven sinners whose reputations and ongoing flaws didn’t seem to keep Jesus away.
In fact, Jesus had a habit of collecting disreputables; he called them disciples. He still does. I like people who openly admit their ‘notoriousness’—people who unabashedly confess they are hopelessly flawed and hopelessly forgiven. Graciously, these men invited me to be a part of their group. The ‘Notorious Sinners’ meet yearly at spiritual-retreat centers, where from the moment we arrive, we find ourselves in trouble with the centers’ leadership.
We don’t act like most contemplatives who come to spiritual-retreat centers— reserved, quiet, silently seeking the voice of God. We’re a different kind of contemplative— earthy, boisterous, noisy, and rowdy, tromping around our souls, seeking God, hanging out with a rambunctious Jesus who is looking for a good time in our hearts.
A number of us smoke cigars, about half are recovering alcoholics, and a couple of the men could embarrass a sailor with their language. Two of the ‘Notorious Sinners’ show up on their Harleys, complete with leather pants and leather jackets. I admit I run with a rough crowd—Christians whose discipleship is blatantly real and carelessly passionate, characterized by a brazen godliness. Unafraid to admit their flaws, unintimidated by Christians who deny their own messiness, these guys sometimes look like pagans and other times look like Jesus.
They are spiritual troublemakers, really, which is why they look like Jesus (who was always causing trouble himself ). They are full of mischief, laughter, and boisterous behavior, which is why they look like pagans. Truly messy disciples. The ‘Notorious Sinners’ are definitely a bizarre mix of the good, the bad, and the ugly, living a spirituality which defies simple definitions.
Oh, and they are some of the most spiritual men I know.”
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Messy Spirituality [Book] by Michael Yaconelli, Karla Yaconelli in Books
By Michael Yaconelli, Mike Yaconelli, Karla Yaconelli – Zondervan (2007) – Paperback -192 pages-ISBN 0310277302
I Guess I’m Not a Very Good Christian . . . Do you feel like: I don’t pray enough I don’t read my Bible enough I don’t share my faith enough I don’t love God enough I’m not committed enough I’m not spiritual enough Then this book is for you.
Messy Spirituality was written for the silent majority of us who have been convinced that we just don’t do Christianity right. We spend most of our lives worried about what we don’t do instead of what we have done, focused on our imperfections instead of God’s fondness for the imperfect. Why?
Because we’ve been bombarded with books, tapes, talks, seminars, and movies convincing us that real Christianity is all about perfection. Michael Yaconelli dares to suggest that imperfection, infiniteness, and messiness are, in fact, the earmarks of true Christianity; that real Christianity is messy, erratic, lopsided . . . and gloriously liberating.
What if genuine faith begins with admitting we will never have our act completely together? Maybe messy disciples are exactly the kind of imperfect people Jesus came to earth for and whose company he actually enjoyed–and still enjoys.
If you want to find Jesus today, look for him in the midst of burned-out believers, moral misfits, religious incompetents . . . men and women whose lives are, well, messy.
Messy Spirituality is a strong antidote for the spiritual perfectionism in us all. Here are truths that can cut you loose from the tyranny of ought-to’s and open your eyes to the deep spirituality of being loved, shortcomings and all, by the God who meets you and transforms you in the midst of a messy and unpredictable life.
When Bartimaeus heard that Jesus of Nazareth was nearby, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”
Mark 10:47
What a gritty, hard life Bartimaeus lived. How terribly desperate and lost he must have felt. He has spent years and years without any real hope. The future to him had been emptied of all purpose and meaning. Life, from his point-of-view was worse than non-existence. It was brutal and vicious, and when he had bad times he could barely look up.
He had a customary spot beside the busy road. Routine had become his coping skill. As a blind man knew that routine kept him from really losing it. Seated on a dirty mat, he focused in on the voices of the passing crowds. There seemed many more than usual and Bartimaeus began to try to piece together what was happening.
Someone to the right of him, shouted “Hosanna, Son of David”! In that stark moment Bartimaeus jumped up and began to shout himself. He shouted and shouted until he was hoarse. He waved his hands, desperate to be seen. There were those around him who told him to sit-down and shut-up. There were hundreds of people reaching for Jesus, arms outstretched and pleas being made. In this crazy and confusing scene Bartimaeus will not comply, he must speak, he must, he is desperate!
Jesus doesn’t walk alone, but is mobbed by well-wishers. But suddenly He stops, Jesus can hear the voice of Bartimaeus. Jesus wades partly into the jumbled mass and asks someone to bring Bartimaeus into the open. We see him wriggle through the crowd, he is shaking and he is filthy. His hair is matted and he has rotting teeth. He hasn’t bathed for several months. A filthy rag is wrapped over his eyes.
Is Jesus passing by? Do you call out for Him? Does he call for you? He often touches His most needy disciples, outside of the confines of the Church. Jesus’ travels wherever He wants, He goes where He wills. Jesus passes by us as we sit in our youth meeting, our marriage counseling or on a short-term missions project to Mexico. He interrupts and pulls you out of the crowd. All to heal you, for Himself.
Each of us who are broken believers will take the following steps. This is simple discipleship. These four will be at the root of everything we do. Our mental illness may influence this walk, but it can’t derail the process. Because it is a supernatural one, everyone starts at the same spot— whether we’ve an illness or not. Each of us must take these four steps and engage them:
Come to Me
Learn of Me
Follow Me
Remain in Me
Disciples will build their lives on these. They are solidly basic but extrapolated out into different unique variations. Each one will be uniquely yours.
COME TO ME:
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28, ESV
The source is Jesus, and his presence is sought. Our heavy issues are relieved by his nearness.
LEARN OF ME:
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:29
Jesus shares his yoke with every disciple. We are to learn at his feet, and it’s there we learn of his humility. Rest is your evidence of his proximity.
FOLLOW ME:
“Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” Matthew 16:24
A cross awaits every disciple. Self-denial is critical for every believing disciple. Jesus will show us how it’s to be done.
REMAIN IN ME:
“Remain [abide] in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.” John 15:4
This involves drawing and extracting life from him. We are a branch that pulls its life essence from its core, he is our vitality and our strength.
“Whatsoever one would understand what he hears must hasten to put into practice what he has heard.” –Gregory the Great
Broken Believers 