Category: life

Broken Heart of Love – A Poem

This poem was written for someone I love who struggles with bipolar disorder. Though I have suffered through depression, anxiety, and panic attacks, I can never truly understand her pain. I want to help but I am at a loss as to what to do.

I wanted to share this here so those who suffer from mental illness might know how your suffering breaks the hearts of those who love you but don’t know what to do.

A Broken Heart of Love

This searing pain in my heart
I wish it would go away
I pray for it to leave me
But it is love
I would be hollow without it

I watch you drowning
in a sea of turmoil and fear
I reach out my hand,
the one connected to my broken heart
“It’s okay, the sailing’s fine,” you say

I walk away, thinking perhaps
my eyes deceive me and you are not
drowning, or else why
would you say otherwise?
I know you would not lie

But still this pain
deep down inside my aching heart
reminds me
that you are not fine,
the sea is not calm

The storm rages
but I cannot rescue you
You cannot see my hand
reaching through the darkness
beckoning you to dry land

*

ysic, Linda K.

Linda’s website

He Wears the Crown

He Wears the Crown

“A Christian is not a person who believes in his head the teachings of the Bible. Satan believes in his head the teachings of the Bible! A Christian is a person who has died with Christ, whose stiff neck has been broken, whose brazen forehead has been shattered, whose stony heart has been crushed, whose pride has been slain, and whose life is now mastered by Jesus Christ.”

John Piper

“No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.”

John 15:15

It seems that the purpose of life is not to find our freedom,  it is really meant to find our Master.

The idea of being a slave to anyone is repugnant–a blow to our pride. We chafe at this, and yet man was never meant to be separated from the Lordship of Jesus. We’re instructed repeatedly with the New Testament idea that “our life is not our own”  Over and over God proclaims Himself as the King.

That really can trouble us somewhat.

Not so much when life is fairly good, granted, but in those hard moments when a decision must be made between enjoying the titillating “lusts of the flesh,” or accepting the fruits of the Spirit. This is one of those “lordship moments.” They come and go, and they show us exactly who we are. We cannot escape this–it’s part of our faith.

If you’re really going to be authentic–that is to be a legitimate and real disciple, then you must determine who is going to be in charge, and this isn’t one of those casual decisions. Your decision must become a settled issue.

You must fix your decision in your heart.

The thief on the cross knew salvation, he was promised an eternity with God simply by faith. But I submit to you that he had put himself under the Lordship of Jesus, simply by recognizing the sign, “the King of the Jews.” I believe he saw and understood its implications. Jesus was King! He knew and understood.

This is a very hard word for some, but so many of our personal issues hinge on this

I know this first-hand. It’s a monumental struggle. You must admit to not only having Jesus as your Savior, but you also must put your life under His total Lordship.  You need to pick up your cross daily in order to follow.  You need to learn how to kneel in total surrender to  Him.

I’ve chosen a crown to open up this post–it’s done on purpose.  I simply want you to understand the supreme call He has on your life.

You must learn here and now how to kneel before the Sovereign King. 

Your resistance to His lordship will end up bringing total pain. You MUST bow and accept Jesus’ crown– to recognize His lordship over every area of your life.

 If you look up into His face and say, “Yes, Lord, whatever it costs,” at that moment He’ll flood your Life with His presence and power.

     Alan Redpath

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Repeat Offenders

“Father, every family has a rascal someone who breaks the rules a juvenile delinquent of untold frustrations and sleepless nights a repeated offender and bearer of sad woe the problem child who needs the most discipline.

Is this why you love me most persistently? When you correct me, is it because I’m the one most contrary?

Or is it that you love me so much?”

 I wrote this thinking about Hebrews 12 and God’s purpose of chastening. I don’t pretend to understand this dynamic completely–all I can say is that my childhood was punctuated by much difficulty. But now, as a father (my two children are now grown), fatherhood has become far easier than my dad had with me.

7 “As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? 10 For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how.“

“But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. 11 No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.”

Hebrews 12:7, 10-11

I really think we understand our Heavenly Father when we spend quality time with Hebrews 12. We are given insight into His care and into our own issues. It is a good thing He gives us— it enriches our spiritual lives.

It’s never nice to be corrected.

It’s not pleasant. Part of being corrected is being reminded that we’re not as righteous as we think we are. To be corrected strikes us to a reprimand, an admonition that something isn’t right inside of us.

The Father corrects His children–in many ways through a myriad of circumstances. He loves us far too much to allow us to continue in our sin. He’s making us into the image of Christ.

We should welcome His correction. He has a plan for you.

When He disciplines you, it only proves that He is your Father. It’s critical to remember: God’s correction is always for our good. It may be painful yes, but it comes with real hope. It’s not to harm or punish you.

“Father, I’m so sorry that I grieve you as often as I do. I promise to behave. Thank you for being a faithful Father who cares deeply for my soul. Amen.”

“Look upon your chastening as God’s chariots sent to carry your soul into the high places of spiritual achievement.” 

 Hannah Whitall Smith.

Please check-out my other site: alaskabibleteacher.com.

An Attack of Panic

A panic attack affects one out of 75 people, and it often can be quite disconcerting.  My panic attacks occur roughly once a month and last for about 1/2 hour.  When the acute symptoms first appear my first reaction is to resist giving in to it.  I get the “shakes.” For a long time, I didn’t know what caused them or more importantly what could stop it.

A panic attack is a sudden surge of an incredible fear.

Typically it comes without warning and without any obvious reason. It is far more intense than the feeling of being ‘stressed out’ that most people experience.

As a believer in Jesus, the physical symptoms can be quite real, but the spiritual issues become obvious when we consider Satan’s attacks on our faith. Although we may have a proclivity, we don’t have to surrender to panic as the way of life.

Symptoms of a panic attack include:

  • racing heartbeat
  • difficulty breathing, feeling as though you ‘can’t get enough air’
  • a terror, that is almost paralyzing, a seeming irrational fear
  • dizziness, lightheadedness or nausea
  • trembling, sweating, shaking
  • choking, chest pains
  • hot flashes, or sudden chills
  • tingling in fingers or toes, (‘pins and needles’).
  • fear that you’re going to go crazy, or are about to die

You probably recognize this as the classic ‘flight or fight’ response that human beings experience when we are in a situation of danger. But during a panic attack, these symptoms seem to rise from out of nowhere. They occur in seemingly harmless situations–they can even happen while you are asleep.

In addition to the above symptoms, a panic attack is marked by the following conditions:

  1. it occurs suddenly, without any warning and without any way to stop it.
  2. the level of fear is way out of proportion to the actual situation; often, in fact, it’s completely unrelated.
  3. it passes in several minutes; the body cannot sustain the ‘fight or flight’ response for longer than that. However, repeated attacks can continue to recur for hours.

A panic attack is not dangerous, but it can be a bit terrifying.

Largely because it feels ‘crazy’ and ‘out of control.’ Panic disorder is frightening because of the symptoms associated with it, and also because it often leads to other complications such as phobias, depression, substance abuse, medical complications, even suicide.

Its effects can range from mild social impairment or just pretty a total inability to face the outside world.

As a follower of Jesus, I’m certain that Psalm 91 is written for me. If I may, attacks of fear shouldn’t be faced head on, rather we set our hearts on Jesus, and allow Him to defend and protect us. I suppose we’ll always be susceptible, but we dare not be defeated.

“You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day.”

Psalm 91:5, ESV

Further reading and help on panic attacks check out these sites: