Serving Rascals, Clumsy Disciples, and Physically and Mentally Ill Believers with the Unconditional Love of Jesus Christ
“Fine, I’ll Do It Broken
If you want a woman torn apart inside, weeping at the drop of a pin, confused in her own identity, disqualified in every sense of a leader…you got it!
A great link to a special teaching by Cheryl Meakins. This will bless you.
Matt. 3:8, NIV
When we evaluate change, the Biblical definition is crisp and solid. It has everything understood in results (or fruit) and less to with my posturing. Just simple words or emotions aren’t enough when we consider authentic transformation. We can’t relate to feelings, they need actions to become visible. You may feel ‘warm and fuzzy’ when you think about Jesus, and yet somehow that’s not enough. Especially if you’re beating your wife.
Actions do matter. Your actions will define what you believe about God. What you decide to do, will delineate what is really real. Jesus made it clear to his congregation that their definition of repentance needed adjusting.
I struggle with many things, I seem to be a magnet for all things dark and lost. So this proper way of evaluating reality will become a tremendous blessing those of us with ‘mood disorders.’ My feelings are definitely mercurial. I really can’t trust them. So I won’t.
Thomas Merton once said that we’re so motivated to climb the ladder of success that when we finally get to the top we discover it’s leaning against the wrong wall all along! To waste your life to climb one more rung is incredibly tragic.
And yet, down deep, I do understand. I don’t like it, but it truthfully seems oddly rational and real. It seems to be something God would do to lovingly correct us. If I place my bets on what I think God wants, and behold, I discover am completely mistaken. He delights in confusing the proud in heart.
We need a basis on what is real, and important. It may shake us, but the result is being able to realize what is the truth. Our feelings, and idealistic ideas are like a bucket with many holes. What we receive from Him can’t be maintained–it runs out almost as fast as it collects.
We must recalibrate our senses. We need to rearrange many things, and completely reevaluate our momentum and focus. These seem to be abstract and vague ways of making determinations like this, but if we get honest we realize that these things are critical.
“No one can sum up all God is able to accomplish through one solitary life, wholly yielded, adjusted, and obedient to Him.“
–D.L.Moody
“So Naomi and Ruth went on until they came to the town of Bethlehem. When they entered Bethlehem, all the people became very excited. The women of the town said, “Is this really Naomi?”
“Naomi answered the people, “Don’t call me Naomi. Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very sad.”
“When I left, I had all I wanted, but now, the Lord has brought me home with nothing. Why should you call me Naomi when the Lord has spoken against me and the Almighty has given me so much trouble?”
Ruth 1:19-21
Naomi has traveled from Moab to her hometown of Bethlehem. People were pretty excited and her arrival must’ve brought out the crowds. It’s great for her to be around happy people who were genuinely pleased to see her again.
But a new Naomi returns. She makes it clear that something has happened. She has been fundamentally changed by the Lord. She can no longer be called Naomi (“Pleasant”) but insists she is now “Mara”. Her reasoning is painfully clear, she grasps the reality of her condition. “I am now Mara (“Bitter”), that is my new name. It’s what I’ve become.”
“Call me by this new name, because the Almighty has acted “bitterly” against me. I am not the same person I was went I left here. I am different, when I left here I was prosperous, everything was going very well. But now, its different, and I come home with absolutely nothing. And it’s all because the LORD has hurt me deeply.”
I read Ruth the other day, and something intrigued me by her perception, and of her theology that recognized God’s handprints on her life. I believe she was a broken person, and therefore essentially changed. I believe she had a measure of peace in seeing the Lord was in control of her life. She was becoming aware. Ruth was now attuned to the deep purposes of God.
With my many, many issues, I find a comfort in this. God has touched me, and I am not the same person I was five years ago. I know hard things, even bitter things, about myself and the world around me. I went out healthy and strong and have returned weak and empty. Bipolar disorder will do that. Pain will do that. God’s dealings will do this. He loves us far too much to allow us to go unchanged.
There are distinct times when the Lord works to bring us to Christlikeness. That involves a refining and the smelting process. Crisis becomes the ‘new normal’. This is never “pleasant” and it’s almost always “bitter.” Naomi was finding this out first-hand, to the point of even changing her name.
“I have refined you, but not as silver is refined.
Rather, I have refined you in the furnace of suffering.”Isaiah 48:10
I’d like to encourage you to recognize (and announce) your weakness and your brokenness to the Lord in prayer. See God’s hand in your bitterness. You’ll be surprised at the release that will come to you. It shouldn’t engender anger, but surprisingly it can bring you healing and salvation. It helps to understand. Consider the following:
–A. W. Tozer
“These little troubles are getting us ready for an eternal glory that will make all our troubles seem like nothing.”
2 Cor. 4:17, CEV
“Before God could bring me to this place He has broken me a thousand times.”
Smith Wigglesworth
As we move toward maturity, over time and through circumstance, we will start to develop exciting new ways of thinking. We engage the Word and combined with our relationships with people we start the work of God. We soon learn that the Kingdom of God flows through relationships, almost exclusively.
Pain and sorrow are some of the more intense ways the Lord reaches down and into our lives.
Rick Warren has written, “God intentionally allows you to go through painful experiences to equip you for ministry to others.”
I think that as we dwell on this we will start to see the hand of God, moving things around in our complicated lives. As we attend class in this school of the Spirit, we learn things that will change our life and ministry.
But we must consider that we can waste our pain and sorrows by not engaging the issues properly. Will I submit, or will I grow sullen and cynical? Will I worship through my tears? Surrendering to Christ is not a once-in-a-lifetime event. It is a daily, and even hourly process. I regard any kind of cynicism though, as a hungry predator who is hunting me. Very dangerous, and I am highly suspectable.
Pain is the way the Father reaches me, he isn’t too concerned about our comfort (it isn’t the real issue, after all.) When I hurt, I invaribly look for Jesus. And that cannot be all bad. Through the trials and pain I begin to reconnect with my Father. Without the trials, I doubt we would ever call out for His help.
“Don’t waste your sorrows.” It is easily said but seldom done. We start to stagger by the weight of our personal issues. Overwhelmed by the pain we start to panic and grab things, and throw them overboard, to lighten the load. We can be confused, and will do whatever we must do to stay afloat. But unless we take these sorrows well, we are just short-circuiting God’s intentions.
C.S. Lewis once commented on our issues,
“Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn—my God do you learn.”
The darkness intends to absorb us. Satan uses our own bitterness and frustration to do this. Our discipleship is no longer valid if we commence doing our own will and desires. Even though we get “flaky” the Father will always love us. But we dare not waste our pain, it comes at too big of a price.
Broken Believers 