faith – Page 3 – Broken Believers

The Awful Pain of Job

“Oh, why give light to those in misery,
and life to those who are bitter?
²¹They long for death, and it won’t come.
They search for death more eagerly than for hidden treasure.²²They’re filled with joy when they finally die, and rejoice when they find the grave.

²³Why is life given to those with no future,
those God has surrounded with difficulties?”

Job 3:20-23, NLT

Job begins to curse his very existence. Life has become far too brutal. He has lost everything. At this point Job is completely undone.

There is an endless grief that even his tears can’t help.

In Job’s first speech he asks some basic questions:

Why is light given to those who are full of pain?
Why does life unfold to the one who rather not live anymore?

There is a powerful wish or desire in this three verses. He wants to die, and end the charade. He wishes for non-existence and laments that he can not die fast enough. His terrible pain has taken his life.

People with disabilities and chronic pain can understand Job’s welcome craving for any sort of release. Once they were “whole” people. Death was something to be avoided at all costs. But now it is seen as an escape.

Job simply wants out.

Hurting people will often turn to drinking and drugging as a way of coping. We’ll try anything to numb our thinking. It’s what gets us through the day. We are bitter, and we are lost.

For Job (the patron saint of pain) finds that nothing will fix him. His friends have come, but they seem to only accuse and confuse job. Honestly he is better when they just sat with him in silence. If you read the book of Job you will understand.

“God wants us to choose to love him freely, even when that choice involves pain, because we are committed to him, not to our own good feelings and rewards. He wants us to cleave to him, as Job did, even when we have every reason to deny him hotly.”

–Philip Yancey

“Come quickly, Lord, and answer me, for my depression deepens. Don’t turn away from me, or I will die. Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you.”

Psalm 143:7-8

ybic, Bryan

What Not to Say to a Depressed Person

by Therese J Brochard

I’m always on the lookout for articles that touch on ways to communicate to a friend or family member who is depressed. It’s a delicate issue and one that deserves some serious attention. What follows is what you should, and should not say to a loved one struggling with depression. — Bryan

Nearly 21 million adults in the United States experience clinical depression (aka major depressive disorder) every year.

Odds are someone close to you is among them.

1. Snap out of it!

Your loved one hasn’t left the house in what seems like days. Should you tell him to pull himself up by his bootstraps and just snap out of it?

Don’t say it.

You may be tempted to tell someone who’s depressed to stop moping around and just shake it off. But depression is not something patients can turn on and off, and they’re not able to respond to such pleas. Instead, tell your loved one that you’re available to help them in any way you can.

2. What do you have to be depressed about?

In a world full of wars, hunger, poverty, abuse, and other ills, you may feel impatient when someone you love feels depressed. So do you remind him how lucky he is?

Don’t say it.

You can’t argue someone out of feeling depressed, but you can help by acknowledging that you’re aware of his pain. Try saying something like “I’m sorry that you’re feeling so bad.”

3. Why don’t you go for a nice walk?

Exercise is a known way to lift your mood. Is it a good idea to suggest that your loved one with depression go out and enjoy some fresh air and activity?

Say it — but with a caveat.

By definition, depression keeps you from wanting to engage in everyday activities. But you can show your support by offering to take a walk, go to a movie, or do some other activity with your loved one. How about: “I know you don’t feel like going out, but let’s go together.”

4. It’s all in your head.

Some people believe that depression is an imaginary disease and that it’s possible to think yourself into feeling depressed and down. Should you tell your loved one that depression is just a state of mind — and if she really wanted to, she could lift her mood with positive thoughts?

Don’t say it.

Suggesting that depression is imagined is neither constructive nor accurate. Although depression can’t be “seen” from the outside, it is a real medical condition and can’t be thought or wished away. Try saying instead: “I know that you have a real illness that’s causing you to feel this way.”

5. Seeing a therapist is probably a good idea.

You think your loved one could benefit from talking to a mental health professional. Should you say so?

Say it. And say it again.

Reinforcing the benefits of treatment is important. Encourage the idea of getting professional help if that step hasn’t yet been taken. This is especially important if your loved one has withdrawn so much that she is not saying anything. Try telling her, “You will get better with the right help.” Suggest alternatives if you don’t see any improvement from the initial treatment in about six to eight weeks.

For other suggestions on what to say and what not to say, check out Everyday Health’s post.

Also, see Psych Central’s our list of the worst things to say to someone who’s depressed.

****

Therese J. Borchard writes the daily blog, “Beyond Blue,” on Beliefnet.com.

God Really Wants to Forgive You

“But neither of them could repay him, so he kindly forgave them both, canceling their debts.”

Luke 7:42

When you are in debt, whether $50 or $50,000 there’s that anxiety of being in slavery to the lender. And yet when we begin to line up the spiritual with the physical we learn that we are all in debt. We all owe more than we have. Most of us realize this, and many just “turn off the spiritual apparatus” that seems to keep harping on this, and then we tell ourselves repeatedly that it really isn’t true.

But all of us are in debt.

Of course not everyone is the same, we have different sins. Some have lived a deliberately dark, prodigal life (as in “drugs, sex and rock-n-roll”). Others, embracing a strained moralism of some kind, have apparently sinned less (think choir boys, or “Snow White”). But no matter, for “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23)

And “all” means all. “Fallen” means a complete collapse.

In this parable, Jesus adroitly tells the story of two men who were indebted to a very rich man. One owed a relatively small amount, but yet it was significant enough for this man to worry and to hope maybe for some mercy. He knew that he owed, and knew he lacked the means to pay what was required.

The second man owed far more, many times beyond the first man. This guy was very deep in debt. The modern equivalent was close to $500,000, and in ancient times this would have been a staggering amount of money. But he too held out for mercy; and hoped for the forgiveness of his debt (stranger things have happened).

The astonishing thing is that the rich man completely and unreservedly forgave both.

Kindness alone was what moved the Lender. These two men would be released without any conditions, liens, or liabilities. They walked into the room expecting imprisonment, and they walked out with all their debts forgiven. Plain and simple. The amazing fact for you and I is this– we have been released from the ponderous weight of our sins, and yet we are really confused. Our sins have been taken from us and we bear them no more! The guilt of our transgressions has been cut away from our souls.

What Jesus did, dying on that cross, not for His sin, but for mine, ours and theirs, allows even the most nasty and vile of us to walk out scot-free.

Some who read this have committed spectacular sins.

You have piled up more sin and evil than others around you. But no matter, it’s all forgiven. It’s time to believe this, repent and then take your pardon and walk out into the bright sunshine as a free man or woman. There is no record of your sins, you can scour heaven and earth looking for it, and yet there is no evidence it ever existed.

Except for His nail-prints.

&

The Micro and the Macro: An Understanding

10piper — John Piper, Pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis. Writer and Speaker, DesiringGod.org

Originally dated, July 14, 2008 | By: John Piper

One of the reasons God rarely gives micro reasons for his painful providences, but regularly gives magnificent macro reasons, is that there are too many micro reasons for us to manage, namely, millions and millions and millions and millions and millions. God says things like:

These bad things happened to you because I intend to work it together for your good (Romans 8).
These happened so that you would rely more on God who raises the dead (2 Corinthians 1).
This happened so that the gold and silver of your faith would be refined (1 Peter 1).
This thorn is so that the power of Christ would be magnified in your weakness (2 Corinthians 12).

But we can always object that there are other easier ways for God to accomplish those things. We want to know more specifics: Why now? Why this much? Why this often? Why this way? Why these people?

The problem is, we would have to be God to grasp all that God is doing in our problems. In fact, pushing too hard for more detailed explanations from God is a kind of demand that we be God.

Think of this, you are a blacksmith making horseshoes. You are hammering on a white hot shoe and it ricochets off and hits you in the leg and burns you. In your haste to tend to your leg you let the shoe alone unfinished. You wonder why God let this happen. You were singing a hymn and doing his will. Your helper, not knowing the horseshoe was unfinished gathered it up and put it with the others.

Later there was an invasion of your country by a hostile army with a powerful cavalry. They came through your town and demanded that you supply them with food and with shoes for their horses. You comply. Their commander has his horse shod by his own smith using the stolen horseshoes, and the unfinished shoe with the thin weak spot is put on the commander’s horse.

In the decisive battle against the loyal troops defending your homeland the enemy commander is leading the final charge. The weak shoe snaps and catches on a root and causes his horse to fall. He crashes to the ground and his own soldiers, galloping at full speed, trample him to death. This causes such a confusion that the defenders are able to rout the enemy and the country is saved. Now you might say, well, it would sure help me trust God if he informed me of these events so that I would know why the horseshoe ricocheted and burned my leg. Well maybe it would help you. Maybe not.

God cannot make plain all he is doing, because there are millions and millions and millions and millions of effects of every event in your life, the good and the bad. God guides them all. They all have micro purposes and macro purposes. He cannot tell you all of them because your brain can’t hold all of them.

Trust does not demand more than God has told us. And he has given us immeasurably precious promises that he is in control of all things and only does good to his children. And he has given us a very thick book where we can read story after story after story about how he rules for the good of his people. Let’s trust him and not ask for what our brains cannot contain.

http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/1307_why_god_doesnt_fully_explain_pain/

Tag: faith