Category: an intense love

Making a List

This is a scary list. We’re told repeatedly that love is the evidence that disciples are to be identified. Love is the blood of the body. It’s that necessary. It’s critical. We’re called to love (one another) that proves we’re real and authentic.

Some of us are handicapped, either mentally or physically. Our issues are truly formidable, very few understand.

I pretty much live in physical pain now. I struggle with depression. I have some battles that few understand. And I get terribly self-absorbed by all of it. If love is the blood of the Christian then I absolutely need a transfusion. I’m anemic. I’m the proverbial 95 pound spiritual weakling! 😁

“Love one another.” I believe I’m missing this in my spiritual walk. For the most part I operate as “to tolerate one another.” It’s easy to love those who love me, but that’s not how discipleship to Jesus works. He wants us to find enemies to love. (At least I think it does.)

Our Teacher, the Holy Spirit, knows how ignorant we really are. But He is patient and oh so very kind. He has lessons that fit us and our needs. I want to love (usually) and I’m counting on Him to tutor me. How do I do this?

You learn to love by loving.

A few things (I know it’s a terribly incomplete list):

  • To love you must walk in discernment. Learn to “see” the needs of specific people. Contrary to church opinion, discernment is not to pass judgement on another, rather it’s all about seeing needs. Not everyone can do this.
  • To love takes availability. You need to be “ready for use.” This takes a certain amount of skill. I’m a terrible kind of introvert. Sometimes I won’t answer the phone or go to a home group. I sorta resent it. The Spirit keeps putting me in spots that require interaction with others, and I hate it.
  • Love creates humility in us (which takes some doing). As I learn to love I find myself stripped down and washing somebody’s feet. I become a servant who is learning to scrub between the toes if that’s what it takes.
  • To love you must love others just like Jesus loves you. (Yikes!) “The extra mile,” all of that. So tell me, how much has He loved you? Isn’t that supposed to teach you something? Remember, love is a fruit of Him living inside of you.
  • To love creates growing joy. This joy will protect us from legalism. When joy is operational every burden is light–we do our tasks smiling. I heard a preacher speak about J.O.Y. Jesus, Others, and You. In order of importance.
  • To love is to learn how to pray. Intercession is like oxygen to a fire. It’s like one of those old fashioned bellows to a sputtering flame. It pumps air into the pile of twigs and wood to spread the fire and ignite a blaze. We pray and love starts spreading.

To live with hard mental and physical issues as an authentic Christian is profoundly difficult. We get so self-absorbed at times. But being a disciple of love isn’t just for healthy believers, it’s also for us who struggle.

Grace is increased exponentially to those of us with deep physical problems.

I totally believe this. God takes special care as He works on and in us. We can count on Him to give us the extra attention we need as we learn love.

I’ve found that suffering is like learning another language. Changed by His love we are speaking to others in a way they understand. We can communicate with others because we’ve learned how to “speak their language.” We have been taught by God to speak into broken lives because we’ve been broken too.

“We love because he first loved us.”

1 John 4:19

2 Corinthians 12:9

I’m Tethered to His Cross

We live in this place.

St. Francis of  Assisi once wrote, “The devil never rejoices more than when he robs a servant of God of the peace of God.” 

Sometimes I think maybe I’ve made the devil dance far too many times.

I confess that peace has never been really high on my list. Love, joy, kindness, and even goodness are clear priorities. Peace… not so much. Until it’s not there. And then I get frantic by its absence and look for it with manic bewilderment.

Sometimes I don’t understand why God still loves me. At times like this anxiety eats at me. I beat myself up by my last failure. The guilt of my latest sin grows until it looms larger than the blood that saved me. Sometimes I suppose, religious people have the most neurosis.

I’m afraid that we are taking “the present tense’ out of the Gospel. The past tense is far preferable to us as we manage the Christian life. We like to make check marks on our list. Repentance– check. Baptism– check. Bible study– check. I think it gives me a definite feeling of ‘maturity.’

But these matter little without intimacy with Jesus.

I certainly haven’t arrived, and it seems at times I’m still the hideous sinner I always was. I cannot pretend otherwise, even with a truckload of cosmetics at my disposal. I know, I’ve tried. And I’m still ‘ugly.’ I do know forgiveness, and I do walk in its wonderful light (by grace.)

I read Luther 30 years ago. (And Bonhoeffer would say something similar.)

“When our Lord and Master Jesus Christ said, ‘Repent,’ he willed the entire life of believers to be one of repentance.”

Martin Luther

This is the first of his 95 Theses nailed to the door of Wittenburg. There is a present tense here we can’t ignore. I don’t just repent over smoking, beer drinking, fornication, or hypocrisy, once and done. But my entire way of living is to be one of repenting.

Repentance is your key to open up the door of grace.

“All of the Christian life is repentance. Turning from sin and trusting in the good news that Jesus saves sinners aren’t merely a one-time inaugural experience but the daily substance of Christianity. The gospel is for every day and every moment. Repentance is to be the Christian’s continual posture.”

John Piper

Luther’s last words, on his deathbed, was found written on a scrap of paper words, “We are beggars! This is true.” Thirty years before, he was only echoing his first thesis.

It seems dear ones, we are to live at the foot of the cross.

Everyday. Because we desperately need to.

‘Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep’

“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee.”

Isaiah 26:3

In times of sadness and feeling alone, we have to focus on God, trust Him, and find protection in His love. Remember how John sought his comfort in Jesus’ presence during the darkest night in history? He found his peace by leaning on Jesus’ chest. Simple? Necessary?

John was kept in perfect peace during all those terrible hours.

Everything appeared to have slipped away and there was nothing that seemed safe and solid. But John crept into the shelter of love and simply trusted, and was kept in holy peace.

Evil seemed everywhere that terrible night, but there was one real place of true safety. And John understood.

Jesus will not reject you. Healing broken hearts and minds are His specialty.

Once, while Rudyard Kipling was terribly sick, a nurse overheard him whispering the prayer of his childhood, “Now I lay me down to sleep.” When the nurse interrupted him, Kipling softly replied, “I want my heavenly Father. Only He can care for me now.”

In his great weakness there was nothing that human help could do, and he turned to God and crept into His bosom, seeking the blessing and the care which none but God can give.

That is what we need to do in every time of trial, of sorrow, – when the gentlest human love can do nothing, – creep into our heavenly Father’s bosom, saying, “Now I lay me down to sleep.” That is the way to peace. Earth has no shelter in which it can be found, but in God the feeblest may find it.

 “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Matthew 11:28

I really hope you find shelter in Jesus, He loves you so much. If you’re overwhelmed and bewildered, He is waiting. Tired and defeated–His arms are open. Just come, expect His grace.

Like John, lean hard on Him. Learn to hide. Draw very close–Jesus will dry your tears and cover you. You’ll be safe there.

“One of His disciples, whom Jesus loved (esteemed), was leaning against Jesus’ chest.”

John 13:23, Amplified Bible

I have a new discipleship teaching site. alaskabibleteacher.com

The Father is Running!

“So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.”

Luke 15:20, NLT

There comes a time when the prodigal stands up–looks around, and then decides he can’t live this way anymore, it’s now time to return home.  But he is no longer a ‘rich man’s son’, the pig-pen completely crushed that idea.  He returns home, thinking that at least he can be a slave.

The devastated prodigal now understands.

And it’s that which gives him the propulsion to leave the pigs behind, and begin to somehow be received by his father. The trip is a long one, lots of walking, and yes, it’s hard–he’s far from where he’s supposed to be. He is tired, ragged and worn.

But please dear one, you must understand this about Jesus’ parable–the story isn’t so much about the prodigal son, rather I think that the focus should really be on the father. Jesus is teaching us that the love of God is a searching/seeking kind of love, and it cannot be shut down, or go away over time. Not ever.

You see, it is a 24/7/365 day kind of love.

Think of it like high intensity radar that sweeps over extreme distances, it is always looking, seeking, and it won’t be denied.  The Father is seeking for His sons and daughters.  He intends to find them. If we refuse we will continue to feed pigs, over and over, and we will starve.

The running love of the Father is strenuous and reaching. 

The Father never sits on His backside, calmly watching from His throne. He reaches out and runs to us. God doesn’t sit. He is far from passive, rather He intensely yearns for His son. And God is fully into reclaiming His missing sons and daughters, just like in Jesus’ story.

He continues to search, even in when things get really bad.

Sin disfigures
Sin disfigures, a meth addict’s mug shots over time

The Father recognizes His prodigal son.  It’s funny, but gross sin often has a way that disfigures a person’s countenance. Look at the wino or meth addict on the street.

The boy who abruptly left home is not the son who returns.  There has been damage done.  His face has changed.  The Father understands this, and yes, it has been terribly hard and brutal. But that hardly matters.

I believe that this parable is the greatest of them all. 

Jesus is explaining the deep love the Father has for prodigals like us. This story is so revealing, in it we see that the Father who is running. We must know this about Him. We must internalize it and understand the compassion He has. If we stall in our discipleship it’s because we don’t grip the awesome depth of His love.

There seems to be very few people who understand a running God.

The prodigal son is a timeless parable that transcends generations, holds within it a profound message of forgiveness, redemption, and unending love. As we delve deeper into the intricate layers of this tale, we discover a powerful metaphor that illuminates the human experience and the unwavering compassion of the Father.

As the prodigal hits bottom he realizes the futility of his choices and yearns to return to the forgiving embrace of his father. Overwhelmed by guilt and shame, he makes the long journey back to the home he once took for granted. Little does he know it, behind the scenes, his father has been watching, waiting, and hoping for his return.

And then, in a moment that encapsulates the beauty of unconditional love, the father catches sight of his boy from afar. Without a second thought, the father runs towards him with outstretched arms, his love insisting on forgiveness.

We see a love that surpasses human understanding.

The parable teaches us about the power of redemption and forgiveness, reminding us that no sin is too great to be forgiven, and no distance is too far for reconciliation. It emphasizes the importance of humbly seeking forgiveness and shows that love is always within reach.

Jesus teaches us a different kind of love. It’s not based on achievements or what society says. This love is given to everyone, regardless of their flaws, but in order to have it, they must leave the pigs behind. Sometimes that isn’t always easy.

This profound depth of His love often leaves us feeling totally doubtful or skeptical.

Our logical minds struggle to grasp how such boundless love can exist, especially when we witness the failings and flaws of human love. Yet, it is precisely because love transcends logic that it is so powerful. It operates on a different plane, bypassing our human limitations and revealing a deeper truth about the nature of God’s infinite compassion.

So, let us tell others about this love that Jesus spoke of.

Let’s begin to see that this compassion will transform lives, heal wounds, and bridge divides. For when we approach Jesus’ parable with humility and faith, we may just catch a glimpse of its power and appreciate its profound beauty in a new way.

If the Church can just keep up with our running God, we will finally understand who He really is. And if we only accept the love of the Father towards prodigals—no matter what the sin—it’s then we will finally understand the white-hot love of the Kingdom of Jesus.

And the Church will finally be doing His will in the world.

Finally.

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