Category: desperation

The God Who Sees Me

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“She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”

Genesis 16:13

Omniscience is an attribute of God. It states that God is all-knowing. He possesses a complete understanding of everything there is or will be. He knows and sees all of His creation. While we gradually accrue understanding, He fully knows absolutely. (Job 37:16).

In Genesis 16 is where we meet Hagar. She is an inconsequential figure. Her personal destiny is a secondary one. She is the Egyptian slave of Sarah, and the concubine of Abraham. Through a series of anxious maneuverings designed to produce a heir, Abraham sleeps with her and she conceives. Sarah goes ballistic, punishing Hagar. Sarah drives her slave from the camp.

As Hagar wanders the wilderness, she meets with an Angel of the Lord who speaks to her. He tells her to return. He also promise that her son will be amazing; he will do mighty things. Hagar is astonished that God would speak to her. She makes the following statement,  “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me” (v.13).

The One who sees me! I believe she finally understood that God was aware of her, an Egyptian slave girl. She was a ‘non-factor’ in the eyes of everyone.

“You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.”

Psalm 139:1-3

We maybe insignificant; we may see ourselves as inconsequential. But we are fully known. You might be a janitor, or a nurse, or fry burgers at McDonalds. But God sees you, even when others don’t. It means I have significance. This should be a point of worship, it was for Hagar.

 “And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.” (Matt.10:30).

“For your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” (Matt. 6:8).

Because God fully knows all about you, we can rest in being unknown. His complete awareness of us encourages us. We feel significant by His attention. He makes life purposeful. He sees me!

aabryscript

No Half Measures

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C.S. Lewis (1898-1963)

“Give me all of you! I don’t want so much of your time, so much of your talents and money, and so much of your work. I want YOU! ALL OF YOU. I have not come to torment or frustrate the natural man or woman, but to KILL IT! No half measures will do. I don’t want to only prune a branch here and a branch there; rather I want the whole tree out! Hand it over to me, the whole outfit, all of your desires, all of your wants and wishes and dreams. Turn them ALL over to me, give yourself to me and I will make of you a new self—in my image. Give me yourself and in exchange I will give you Myself. My will, shall become your will. My heart, shall become your heart.”

― ― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

This quote is striking, and a bit biting. As a “halfway” believer, a decision to do this is potentially damaging to my happiness. As I count the cost I start doubting my heart. I say to myself, “who can make this decision?” Can I really renounce my life like this? Perhaps this religion thing has gone too far?!

Then, I have to reflect that the Son of God has died for me. And that changes everything. Such a price, and such an investment was made. How can I resort to half measures? To respond like seems like to diminish His sacrifice.

I demand a religion that doesn’t demand anything. I want convenience, not commitment. (At least not total.) Yet the Lewis quote continues to maul me unmercifully. (How dare Lewis say such a thing?)

And yet I roll this truth around realizing that its logic is valid. The ‘pointy parts’ hook on me as I acknowledge their truth. There is a specific ultimatum that is inherent in this. If I don’t surrender, I will not be saved. Without denying myself, I will not be free. I can’t have it any other way.

I must surrender, and do it over and over again. I believe the basic terms of discipleship are as follows:

  • we must be under Jesus’ authority,
  • we must be seeking to follow His teaching,
  • we must actively be doing what He did.

From a secular viewpoint this is brutally outrageous. It seems I’m being forced into a decision– but after all, He did die for me. (This point cannot be understated.) The Son of God gave Himself so that I could live. Jesus said it best,

26 “If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple.”

Luke 14:26. NLT

Can anything so eloquent be so brutal? Jesus consistently demands everything. Perhaps this is the only way Christianity works? We must be renouncers as well as repenters. We must say, “Yes, God” when we want to live forever. In short, God must be all we live for.

A religion of half measures is not Christian, it is merely a convenience. To follow Jesus is to be radical; and perhaps insane (the worlds evaluation). But to love Jesus demands a “first-love” approach. Anything else is hardly adequate.

The gospel is radical, or it is nothing.

aabryscript

CLIVE STAPLES LEWIS (1898–1963) was one of the intellectual giants of the twentieth century and arguably one of the most influential writers of his day. He was a Fellow and Tutor in English Literature at Oxford University until 1954. He was unanimously elected to the Chair of Medieval and Renaissance Literature at Cambridge University, a position he held until his retirement. He wrote more than thirty books, allowing him to reach a vast audience, and his works continue to attract thousands of new readers every year. His most distinguished and popular accomplishments include Mere Christianity, Out of the Silent Planet, The Great Divorce, The Screwtape Letters, and the universally acknowledged classics The Chronicles of Narnia. 

Deciding What Makes Up Wisdom

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“Often wise sayings fall on barren ground; but a kind word is never ever thrown away.” Sir Arthur Helps

There are so many things to grasp. Our own recovery practically insists we grab vital truths. When we latch on them, we must stick to them no matter what. When we lose someone, or even lose ourselves, we must listen so much closer– the Lord will send someone to our side.

Some rules though:

  • Curiosity is not ever the same as caring.
  • Losing ones balance is never the same as losing ones testimony.
  • A gentle touch can mean more than a powerful revelation.
  • Words of kindness are better than cold truth.
  • To really hear is better than a speech of true words.
  • We must live out the questions we whisper to God
  • Practising prayer is better than just simply praying.
  • Similar experiences that emphasize a connection is never the same as the individuals.
  • Our questions to God reveal far more than His answers.
  • When we do decide to dance, our true friends will dance too.

Ok, I must admit these are not always true and concrete in my heart. My life seems to be a cavern of emptiness; there is little inside but a silly reputation. But it’s a blanket that can’t warm my chilly heart.

12 “Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.”

Colossians 3:12-14, NLT

“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.”

Galatians 6:2

“It is a sin to belittle one’s neighbor;
    blessed are those who help the poor.”

Proverbs 14:21

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Hell and Hope

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Sometimes, I feel like a tour guide for believers that are walking through hell. I point out the different strugglers, and urge each one not to linger too long but to keep moving. We look on those trapped (they have no hope within them) but we hope that they are yet to reach out for the Savior. It is distressing, and yet somehow we understand them just a little bit.

Our journey out and down each sad corridor can be painfully disturbing for us. There are so many different types of prisons and chains used to confine and control. Dante wrote his “Inferno” (Italian, for hell), and somehow he in some curious way walks through the different levels (varieties) of hell with us. Virgil (Dante’s own tour guide) takes Dante through some pretty hairy stuff, and they pass through the very gate, which bears an inscription, of the infamous phrase “Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch’intrate“, or “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.”

Our own rescue from this dreadful place is based on that singular word, “hope”. Somehow, hope has distilled inside us, and that alone can enable us to walk out as the freed. We have chosen not to abandon hope, but to use it as our passport out of the bottom of hell itself. We show it to each guardian, and then pass through without any hinderance.

  • And so at last the poor have hope. (Job 5:16)
  • Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. (Job 11:18)
  • Lord, you know the hopes of the helpless. Surely you will hear their cries and comfort them. (Ps. 10:17)
  • All day long I put my hope in you. (Ps. 25:5)
  • Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in you alone. (Ps. 33:22)
  • O Lord, you alone are my hope. (Ps. 71:5)
  • Your word is my source of hope. (Ps. 119:114)
  • “Listen to me, all who hope for deliverance— all who seek the Lord!” (Isa. 51:1)
  • And his name will be the hope of all the world.” (Matt. 12:21)
  • Even when there was no reason for hope, “Abraham kept hoping.” (Rom. 4:18)
  • We, too, wait with eager hope. (Rom. 8:23)
  • Rejoice in our confident hope. (Rom. 12:12)
  • The Scriptures give us hope and encouragement as we wait. (Rom. 15:4)
  • Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love. (1 Cor. 13:13)
  • That you can understand the confident hope he has given us. (Eph. 1:18)
  • Our hope is in the living God, who is the Savior of all. (1 Tim. 4:10)
  • In order to make certain that what you hope for will come true. (Heb. 6:11)
  • This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. (Heb. 6:19)
  • Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm. (Heb. 10:23)
  • They placed their hope in a better life after the resurrection. (Heb. 11:35)
  • You have placed your faith and hope in God. (1 Pet. 1:21)
  • If someone asks about your Christian hope. (1 Pet. 3:15)

I suppose we must say (it’s clear) that hope is what sets us free from the difficulty that rests in our minds. Whatever DSM-IV has branded us, whatever a psychiatrist has declared us to be, and whatever our therapist has told us– our hope, that’s in Christ, will open all doors that are closed and locked.

Hope really is the Christian’s freedom from hell. Those of us who have been freed from our incarceration from our mental illness are amazingly liberated. I know the lostness of being very much lost. But hope is everything. When our hope somehow connects with Jesus, our souls are set free. We walk out of hell, with our souls soaring clean.

kyrie elesion, Bryan

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