Serving Rascals, Clumsy Disciples, and Physically and Mentally Ill Believers with the Unconditional Love of Jesus Christ
–James H. Aughey
1 Petter 4:3
As a person with a mental illness, it seems my issues are a matter of extremes. Life seems uncontrollable; the wheels seem to always ready to come off of the wagon. It strikes me as a semi-crazed place to be. I look at the “norms” with envy, as their lives are crisp, healthy, and strong.
I once met a man that had a prophetic ministry who was speaking at a local church here in Alaska. When I met with him, he looked at me intently. He said many things, but the most significant was this. “You are an unstable man; you are like water.” This was almost 30 years ago. It has been an accurate prophecy and assessment since I heard it. At first it stung, I hated it; but now, all these years later, I find a certain comfort in it. God knows me; He understands. I haven’t found any reason to be condemned for being Bipolar.
Those of us who walk the tightrope of sanity and insanity have One in heaven who not only knows us, but is on our side. Hebrews 7:25 declares:
I must realize that I am not the “bad apple in the barrel,” nor am I cursed. Rather the opposite is true. I am the richest of all men, because of His radical grace that gets extended to the weakest. Those who “touch” my life are blessed by their contact with me, and since I have been so unnaturally “graced,” they become blessed by His presence through me. WOW! I simply need to be me, and they are drawn to you.
The issues that a mentally ill person (and those who are often a struggler and a rascal) faces are formidable. But without His promises they are impossible. The secular view is just to create a “zero sum” game. It is to bring a person to some stupefied place of stasis. Not exactly up–but not down either. Stable, sort of.
It is very good to be stable. But my goal can not be stability, but an obedience to a supernatural God who loves me supernaturally. I simply can’t live without knowing that. However, when I know it, I can handle the tightrope. I will start to walk a “supernatural” walk.
He loves working with us and in us. And I have become very much convinced that He pours out special favor on those of us who struggle so difficulty, those of us who will never fit in or be ‘normal.’
We need to come to that real and authentically holy place where we see God. But also in that place, and at the same time, we need to see ourselves as well. And actually, both are most critical. They are done imperfectly— but both must happen, nevertheless.
I exhort you to take on your tightrope. You will only stay upright and cross it if you are aware of His grand love and presence. It is an amazing thing to balance and walk, and if we fall? Well, we drop into His net. Get back up, and get in line again. Secure your heart into the love of God for your soul.
As a rambunctious kid I’d be told by my mom, “This is going on your permanent record!” At the time I didn’t know what that was, but it sounded really scary. I remember debating myself of whether or not such a record existed– and if it did, well, I was in deep trouble.
There is the adult version of this permanent record. It is called the conscience. And it can be a ‘hell on wheels.’ Each of us have:
They don’t all have to be negative. As a matter of fact we have positive implications as well.
But like it or not, things get etched and colors become fast. Everything we are is a collection of past experiences. Some are godly, while others– not so much. Every decision you make determines your tomorrow. For some, this is a good thing, but a real terror for others.
“Come now, let us settle the matter,”
says the Lord.
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.”
Isaiah 1:18
The consequences and implications are staggering. Few can live with this kind of truth. But many do come to God for forgiveness.
There is provision for our permanent record. The Word of God (the Bible) has a built-in filtering system that pulls out all the nasty stuff. Sin can build up, even in the blazing light of the Holy Spirit.
Another issue is having the guilt removed from your record by a sovereign act of God. The death of Jesus Christ wasn’t a noble act of a ‘religious teacher.’ Rather it was an atonement for our sin. At this point ‘amnesty’ is given to everyone who believes in Him.
Our permanent record has been expunged— erased, if you will. In a meaningful way, our record has been changed by God.
1 John 1:9
Psalm 32:1-2
To have a clear record is a life-changing thing. To have the slate wiped clean is such a joy. God now shares His life with us, and enables us to redeem our yesterdays. Our past gets fixed by the only one who can fix it for us. Sin was never supposed to be permanent.
(Study scriptures: Ps. 32:5; 130:3-4; Acts 10:43; Eph. 2:8-9)
“He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more.”It takes a sharp eye and a sharper knife to do the Father’s work of cutting. He slices to the quick, and all that is not useful falls to the ground. The vine will produce grapes, and every bit of “grape-energy” will be used productively. Fruitlessness will be cursed, and sterility is condemned. It takes a decisive heart, as well as a wise hand to prune God’s own vineyard.
Fruitless believers may become fruitful ones. Understand, the vine dresser does not attack the vine. He is not malicious or vengeful. All that He does is for the good of the vine. He is motivated to produce fruit. That is what He thinks about; you could say that He is preoccupied with that singular end.
Pruning and fruit are concepts that we vacillate over, some days we understand and other days we blow it off. After over 30 years, I’ve heard every “John 15 sermon”. And most of the time I turn down my spiritual hearing aid. That is tragic, and shows my heart has become hardened.
I need to come on board with this particular imagery. For years I have asked God to “show me His ways”. I’d like to believe that this understanding of pruning has changed me. I would like to think that I have attained a clearer view of wisdom. This pruning business is all well and good. But being sanctified by the knife is decidedly unattractive and uncomfortable.
You must be pruned; pieces of your life are earmarked to be lopped off. (I always wonder if the trees that are spray painted are curious over the why and the when they are to be cut?) In regards to being fruitful we must accept the knife. If we want to be holy and conform to the image of Christ we will be cut. There is simply no other way.
Broken Believers 