taste and see – Page 7 – Broken Believers

Animated Dust

¹^{8 “}I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, ¹⁹and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired servant.”’

Luke 15:18-19, NLT

“In the same way, when you obey me you should say, ‘We are unworthy servants who have simply done our duty.’”

Luke 17:10

I admit it. I am flawed. I am a contradiction inside of an enigma– at times more a devil than an angel. And today I fancy no pretenses to righteousness. But I can tell you all about sin, I’m thinking that maybe I’ll sell tickets. I’m the spiritual version of “the elephant man.” But yet, I still know that I’m completely loved and secure through faith.

I’m convinced that God’s ability to hold me outweighs all of my sin. His mercy is continually refreshed and continues to exceed my iniquity by a massive margin. I can try to blame my erratic behavior on my mental illness, as I’m reasonably certain that it has something to do with things.

“At best we are but clay, animated dust; but viewed as sinners, we are monsters indeed. Let it be published in heaven as a miracle that the Lord Jesus should set His heart’s love upon people like us.”

Alistair Begg

I will never have it together. At best I can only keep coming back to this Grace that has decided “to never let me go.” I only stand, only because He makes it so. I’ve given up trying to be worthy enough. I seem to chase a ‘laser pointer’ like a over-caffeinated cat, and it is starting to get a little old. (But maybe this time I’ll finally catch it.) Writer Anne Lamott wryly explained her own issues:

“I thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish.”

Anne Lamott

The Holy Scriptures never put human beings on a pedestal. We are never seen as noble or excellent specimens of righteousness. We sin in deed and in thought continually. The parable of the Pharisee and the Tax-collector tells us that a consciousness of sin and a holy God is the only way to be declared just. Both men were rascals, but only one admitted it.

We sin sins of commission and also of omission daily. In fact, I have determined that I have sinned more as a believer than I ever did as a non-believer. This shouldn’t be a surprise, but it is. I’ve been pretty busy the last 32 years. I have been ‘ungodly,’ on more than one occasion.

I want to encourage you today in Him. Life can be such a grind, and your hope anemic. But consider Him who has come for you. Let Jesus take your heaviness, ask Him for His peace. A fair exchange, don”t you think?

Something Out of the Ordinary

“You feed them from the abundance of your own house,
letting them drink from your river of delights.”

Psalm 36:8, NLT

God is the exclusive source of everything good. His goodness is quantified in the word “abundance.” We have made the discovery, that the spring from which all want to draw from is actually a full fledged river full of wonderful things. We come thirsty for something, anything that will quench our terrible yearning for the real and true.

God’s extravagance is unduly excessive it seems. It is limitless in scope, and endless in imagination. There is food and drink (of the Spirit) that constantly pours out on His people. All we can do is to revel in His grace, and receive from His mercy.

The children of Israel was supplied with manna while in the wilderness. Our Father provided for them, and provides for us as well. Let no one leave His pantry without filling their pockets with His outrageous grace. We receive all that He gives.

“And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others.”

2 Corinthians 9:8

Imagine winning the Lottery, a phone call tells you that you’ve just won 325 million dollars! If it was me I suppose, that once the shock wears off, I would be ready to be a financial blessing to my friends, family and Church. Having been the recipient of incredible wealth, I want to share with others. However wonderful that might seem, we really shouldn’t put God’s grace is such worldly concepts.

Yet sometimes we need to step back and look again at God’s generosity to us. Sometimes we lose track of all that He has done. It is good to reacquaint ourselves to this incredible thing He has done on our behalf.

“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.”

Ephesians 3:20

We have been internally altered by the presence of God. Our genetic code has been changed. He has done something amazing in our hearts. What He has done is described as ‘infinitely more’ than our wildest dreams. I believe that some have ‘hijacked’ these kind of verses to teach that “God wants you rich.” This is called ‘the prosperity gospel’ and it really can be a bad thing. I believe in His prosperity, but it certainly isn’t linked to my material possessions. To do this distorts the message of the Gospel.

Our blessings come, and come some more, and keep coming. Everywhere we look we should see a spiritual blessing. It’s like we live with a God that can’t contain Himself. He rushes to pour out on us significant promises. My Bible becomes a ‘treasure map’ leading me to my true destination.

The Power of a Soul’s Gaze

“One thing I ask from the Lord,
    this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
    all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
    and to seek him in his temple.”

Psalm 27:4, (NIV)

One thing: Not two or three. One. Something extraordinary. Not something noble or even praise-worthy things, however exceptional. But just a singular sight of Him, in His house and in His beauty. In other words,

“I’m asking God for one thing,
    only one thing:
To live with him in his house
    my whole life long.
I’ll contemplate his beauty;
    I’ll study at his feet.”

Psalm 27: 4, (The Message)

There can be a multitude of options for us– and many of them are good and true. We are very adept at finding other alternatives; the enemy will even suggest things to usurp the believer’s gaze.

I once knew a small congregation in Pacifica, California. They were tremendously gifted at combining worship with evangelism. We would get permits to close a street in San Francisco, and they would bring us a deep anointing. They were remarkable. We all looked forward to their ministry.

But something happened. That church is no more. They got involved in activism, and over time they focused on politics and soon became disenchanted with pure worship. I was told that their church services became saturated with many other things. They stopped looking at Jesus, and turned their gaze on other things. I have no idea where they are at today. This seems to be the ‘price of distraction.’

To gaze is defined as, “a steady or intent look. Often with great curiosity, interest, pleasure or wonder.” It combines the sensory of sight with a thoughtful contemplation. Often we see, but do not understand. A combination of the physical and the mental is necessary. But we also must ‘see’ the spiritual side as well.

I suggest that we set our gaze on our God. After all, this is where we will spend eternity. And more so, He is and will be spiritually ‘intriguing’ and a source of endless joy for the believer. God alone is worthy of our gaze. Let’s not be satisfied with mere trifles.

“And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,²fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.”

Hebrews 12:1-2

Jesus alone must satisfy. To keep him always ‘front and center’ must be our total focus. Plans and methods and mechanisms can’t save you from your sin. Only Jesus can do this. To God alone belongs salvation. (Ps. 72:18).

Spilling the Apple Cart

“Buy the truth and do not sell it— wisdom, instruction and insight as well.”

Proverbs 23:23

“May it be the real me, that seeks and finds the real You.”

I’m not much for ‘written’ prayers. I guess it’s an ingrown reaction to ‘religion,’ of which I’m highly suspicious. But I’m willing to accept reciting prayers and even liturgy, if only they don’t develop into a ‘replacement’ for the Holy Spirit. And that is hard to do. The last couple of months, I started praying this ‘one sentence’ prayer. It came to me, out of the blue, but has echoed through the deepest part of me. It is a desire to be real– authentic, and true.

“May it be the real me, that meets with the real You.”

The last several months have been difficult for me. I suppose I was going through the motions: writing, praying, reading. Spiritually I guess, feeling kind of phony and ‘detached’ from anything real. You can only varnish something for the 1000th time before you really need to take it back to bare wood. I feel like that was what I was doing. But I couldn’t figure out ‘how.’

Lately I feel ‘brand new.’ Issues that have plagued me for years are being stripped away. When I started praying with this ‘new’ prayer, and combined with meaning, the heavens just seemed to open up. It’s not the ‘pretend’ me, seeking a ‘pretend’ God anymore.

I sincerely hope, with all my heart, that just maybe this will touch you. I’m not into ‘knocking over any apple carts.’ But I feel compelled to share this experience with the hope you might walk into something real. May the ‘real’ God reveal Himself to the ‘real’ you.