A Broken Brokenbeliever

inconsistent1I am a premium blend of paradox and inconsistencies. I make no claim at all to being anything but. I’m afraid my bipolar has marked me.

But I’m finding victory in Christ, For me discipleship is simply being close to Jesus. I come with baggage which I give to Him. He insist on taking all of it.

I’m discovering that my Christian walk is not some sort of comprehensive  self-improvement plan to overcome whatever particular sin which is bothering me at the moment. Rather it is choosing to be filled with the Spirit of Holiness.

That is a big deal. I’m not out to achieve but to “abide.” The fundamental difference is profound. The ministry of the Holy Spirit activated in my heart creates the energy to please God. His work is impeccable and true, and it’s the only way it’s going to work.

In my mind may be confusion (I lose my way so quickly) but His presence is both gentle and strong. I can “turn off” His kind guidance. However if I do I “crash and burn” every time.

Jesus is not shocked by my wilfulness. He doesn’t fret over my sin. He deals with me without doubt and discouragement. He doesn’t ever regret taking me on as a believer. My disruptive walk doesn’t tarnish His love for me. I know this.

I may be far behind you in this discipleship. So far I’ve led a muddled life. When I act independently I get confused. I have a “checkered” track record that bars me from making any claim toward success. I am a broken brokenbeliever,

“It’s not about perfection; it’s about our intimacy with God, or our connection, our relationship with God. Once we get through that, once we realize that we can be imperfect, flawed, broken; those kinds of things are the ingredients of spirituality.”

–Mike Yaconelli

The Lord has broken me a thousand times, and I anticipate there will be thousands more. He is faithful to keep His promise to present me one day holy and true. I am trusting Him.

“Now all glory to God, who is able to keep you from falling away and will bring you with great joy into his glorious presence without a single fault. 25 All glory to him who alone is God, our Savior through Jesus Christ our Lord. All glory, majesty, power, and authority are his before all time, and in the present, and beyond all time! Amen.”

Jude 24-25, NLT

ybic, Bryan

 

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Pray Like You Mean It

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I’m convinced that nothing confuses Christians like prayer. When it’s brought down to its basic level we’re still not sure what is acceptable.

I suspect that what He is seeking is a broken heart. If we’ve got it it’ll probably matter little what position we pray from.

We may sit, kneel, stand or lay prostrate— if our heart is right it will make no difference. Very often we “elevate” a person’s spirituality by what physical position they will take when they pray.

But this is wrong. Sincere prayer doesn’t come from such evaluations. It is the heart that matters, not the position of one’s body. We dare not take another view on this.

In the Scriptures would pray from different positions. Some sat, others kneeled, and some might lie prostrate on the ground. But all should pray.

Don’t you see? Prayer can’t be defined by a spiritual location or posture, rather it is the spiritual location of own’s heart that is vitally important.

Our hearts are a critical place— Satan seeks to erode our hearts and extend his kingdom. We determine who gets heard. We decide who will rule. The enemy of our souls makes a compelling case.

Our prayerlessness is inexcusable but understandable. Perplexed we take whatever we get. We might try to offer a facsimile, and we might generate life apart from Him, but that will never ever be real.

And we must be real.

Who are we really? Do we commune with an Almighty God, or do we simply content ourselves with considerably less?

We face a crisis of holiness in theses simple days. It boils down to what is real and what is false. What is false, seduces– and yet what is truth illuminates. You must decide.

Ybic, Bryan

 

 

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Ignoring a Mentally Ill Believer

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45 “And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’”

Matthew 25:45, NLT

The truth of the matter is that the Church can be the wrong place to have a mental illness. This is a generalization, I know. But many times it is true. We have a strong tendency to offer only token acknowledgement of “the least among us.” We will smile and nod, and, oh so quickly move away; we feel we’ve performed our ‘duty’ as a Christian. We are somewhat relieved to ‘get away’ and dodge the problem person.

Stereotypes abound for the mentally ill. Afterall, they can be demanding, unpredictable, and dangerous. The worst are those who are dirty, unkempt. They say things that are odd and out-of-place. Have weird delusions and paranoia. They move to the margins, and usually sit in the back. But as a general rule, the mentally ill get ignored.

“People with mental illness sometimes behave in ways other people don’t understand and can’t make sense of. People with severe depression sometimes stay in bed all day, unable to manage the most basic motivation to move. People with anxiety disorders can be gripped by irrational or even unidentifiable fears that don’t incapacitate other people. Those affected by psychotic disorders may see things that aren’t real, hear voices that don’t exist, and sometimes lose the ability to discern reality at all.”

Amy Wilson, Christianity Today, 4/10/13

Often, a believer must find valuable help outside ‘the four walls’ of the Church. Some resources are often found with wise psychiatrists and caring therapists in clinical care. Medications (which are a godsend) give the afflicted much relief. The local Church just don’t always have the resources but that is o.k. It isn’t their role exactly.

However, the Church of Jesus has the only ‘real corner’ of the spiritual side of things. The body of believers encourages, teaches and guides. Without it, the mentally ill Christian would be severely effected. The local church feeds us spiritually. It can’t be replaced. It has ‘the goods’ for discipleship. It has the Word of God and motivating worship. It has elders and other leaders who shepherd each believer, into a holy life. It provides fellowship which the believer with a mental illness must have.

It’s also a place of ministry: each one using his/her gift in the corporate body of the saints. This is vital. The broken believer has an opportunity to serve, which is such a factor in the walk of the disciple. We need them in our fellowships, and they need to be there too. God blesses those who will serve Him in this. Fellowship is critical for disabled believers.

As Jesus’ representatives in this present moment, we need to extend our hands. We may not fully understand the afflicted, but we can reach through the issues (ours and theirs) and administer the love of Jesus. We might pray that this scourge of mental illness be lifted out of our society.

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Please follow this post up. Check out: https://brokenbelievers.com/the-weak-treasures-of-the-church/

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A Comment From a Reader

The following email conversation took place recently. The topic was the post, entitled, “Loneliness and Depression are Best Friends.” I offer it to you today as an encouragement to you.

A Comment to BrokenBelievers Post,

Submitted on 2012/02/10 at 2: 59 a comment,

“I totally agree to that title and most of the content. But in fact, my conclusion is that it might be the best to die”.

Cause not only oneself isolates from the others, the others do the same with oneself. And among the worst “helpers” are people from churches.
(Still) being a believer, I asked for support in my church. Nothing happend. I asked at other Christian places. Guess what happend. Nothing.
In a real psychic crisis (not a physical one), even christian people tend to let you alone. It is better to face that and commit suicide.”

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Submitted on 2012/02/10 at 8:19 am | In reply to w******.

Oh dear one, three things…
1) You are in the cross hairs of the enemy. Satan is getting into your head, and it is vicious isn’t it? He isn’t fair or truthful in his efforts. Satan and God are opposites, just as God loves you intensely…Satan hates you passionately.

2) Even in Church we need to build our friendships. They are not automatic, even with so much commonality between saints. There’s a proverb that talks about if you want friends you need to be friendly. That requires that you “double” your efforts. By the way, everyone loves a servant. Often friendship will develop out of your servanthood. I know this is not what you signed up for.

3) The majority of church people haven’t a clue about mental illness, depression or anxiety. They often don’t truly understand how disabling our illness is, even as a believer. It’s a good thing to read, talk, and drink coffee with the few that seem “to get it,” or almost get it.

I believe you will walk through this season of conflict. You will make it through. One of my favorite verses,

“Who is that coming up from the wilderness,
leaning on her beloved?” Song of Sol. 8:5

The world is a wilderness, the presence of Jesus is so close, but we must lean! We have to take His grace as far as we can.

Praying today,
Bryan


There is so much in that first initial comment from the reader. I certainly know that they are not unique, nor are they alone. It is a heated battle, and sometimes it seems we have one hand tied behind our back. Endurance only comes by enduring, unfortunately. Phil. 1:6 has kept me personally from much frustration and given me confidence through my hard times.

6 “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”

Phil. 1:6, NLT

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