Category: kindness

The Lady and the Knight in Shining Armor

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Eph. 4:32

“It’s unfortunate and I really wish I wouldn’t have to say this, but I really like human beings who have suffered. They are kinder.”

Emma Thompson

She has nailed down a thought here.  It is only a starting point, a beginning that one should work-out, over and over.  We begin at this realization that there can be a definite link between suffering and kindness.  It’s like two wheels of a bicycle.

I’m in love with kind people.  All the people I have met who were truly wonderful, had very kind hearts.  Kindness set them apart.

Historically, kindness was regarded as one of the “Knightly Virtues” of medieval times.  Having it was to be a mark of chivalry.  In theology, it was one of seven virtues, that mirrored the “Seven Deadly Sins.” It seems to me that believers who practice kindness are to be regarded as part of a spiritual nobility.

This connection between suffering and kindness isn’t so much as a “cause and effect,” but rather a ‘fruit’ which has to ripen, or mature.  Pain is not always this productive in our lives.  It can bring bitterness and loss as easily as it can bring kindness and gentleness.  And many of us who struggle with mental illness or substance abuse understand this all to well.

The apostle Paul was right to link his sufferings to spiritual growth.  If you can do this you are moving in the right direction.  It will not lift you out of the pain; you will still have the sense of being overwhelmed, but you will see through it with the eagle eye of faith.

Why is it that so many who have suffered, will go on to become kind people?

It may have to do with two dynamic principles. The first metaphor would have to be the smelter/the potter.  These are significant because they illustrate how believers are always in process.  We are in flux, either moving under the hand or under the heat.

The second metaphor is the grape vine dresser/bread maker.  These strike me as harsh, although it may not always feel that way.  But both are definite “hands-on” from a supervisory source–the Holy Spirit.

Suffering is a lot like learning another language.  Some days it will just click, and then other days you can’t remember your previous lesson.  But if you are really patient you will learn to speak the dialect of suffering.  Learning languages can open up the world to you.  If you learn to speak “suffering” you will be able to touch the hearts of millions.

But there needs to be patience.  You must wait for “kindness.”  Transformation will never be smooth or easy.  There are no switches for God to flip to make you Christlike.  You will not wake up tomorrow morning with the character of Jesus–his mercy, love, wisdom and kindness.  I’m sorry.  (Choose to dispute this, and I will let you.)

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“I prefer you to make mistakes in kindness than work miracles in unkindness.”

Mother Teresa’s counsel 

“God has chosen you and made you his holy people. He loves you. So you should always clothe yourselves with mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”

Col. 3:12, NCV 

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Harmless Doves, [Opting Out of Cynicism]

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cynical, (a definition)

sinikəl/adjective

1.  believing that people are motivated by self-interest; distrustful of human sincerity or integrity. Contemptuous; mocking.
        “her cynical attitude”
        “he gave a cynical laugh”

2. concerned only with one’s own interests and typically disregarding accepted or appropriate standards in order to achieve them.

Dictionary.com

I want to speak from my heart. I woke up this morning intensely cynical about the world. I hate to think I’m becoming critical or judgmental, but whatever it is I must take it in prayer to Jesus. I feel like I’ve been bit by a snake– a venomous one at that.

When I think of our Lord’s example, it helps a great deal. He who knows every man’s heart and motives and that didn’t discourage him. He knew when he came what each of us had done, and was capable of doing.

There was this incident at the Temple:

23 Now while he was in Jerusalem at the Passover Festival, many people saw the signs he was performing and believed in his name. 24 But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people. 25 He did not need any testimony about mankind, for he knew what was in each person.

John 2:23-25, NIV

People can’t be trusted. Our motives and our desires, although hidden from men, are clear to God. And yet He loves us deeply. And love, “keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Cor. 13:5.) In his humanity, Jesus was tempted in every way. Discouragement and despair over the sin of men was resisted.

We can become cynical and jaded over the wrongs of others– it’s easy to do. There can become a ‘coarsening’ and a hardness of heart. That is dangerous. It requires a touch from Jesus. It means its time we get on our knees.

dove_peace_black_white_line_art_christmas_xmas_peace_on_earth-1979pxWhen Jesus sent out his disciples he encouraged them, ““Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.” (Matt. 10:16.) He knew the hostile human heart had its own agendas– people would be like wolves. But though they would see first-hand the deceitfulness of many, they were to be wise, and be completely harmless.

The Holy Spirit will keep us close as we seek his victory in this matter. We will be transformed into the likeness of Christ. Exchange your attitude with His. He will strengthen you. We can renounce the spirit of judgmentalism that is so pervasive. We will love the way he loves.

I know there is much more to say about this. But now the Spirit is prompting me to pray through this issue myself.

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Our Gentle God Loves Kindness

His hands are gentle
His hands are gentle

When I think “gentleness”, what pops into my mind is my wife holding and caressing my infant daughter almost 20 years ago.  Her touch is soothing.  She softly hums a lullaby.  The farthest thing from her thinking at that quiet moment, is anything  harsh or cruel. 

One of my favorite verses telegraphs the wonderous news, “He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle.”  (Isaiah 42:3, NLT).  God’s temperament is gentle and kind.  He is patient far beyond any human logic.  As a matter of fact, his love seems to be borderline ridiculous.   As believers, we need to get used to His strange proclivities of loving all and turning away none.  I really believe that harshness and cruelty are the furthest thing from His mind or heart.

I for one, am glad God is like this.  When I’m depressed or manic, paranoid or confused, I am so glad that God is not a man.  He doesn’t give up on me, others have marked me off as a discipleship failure, and let me go.  But He loves me even more than a mother loves the baby on her lap.

A.W. Tozer writing on Psalm 18:35: “Your gentleness has made me great.”

“God is easy to live with. Satan’s first attack upon the human race was his sly effort to destroy Eve’s confidence in the kindness of God. Unfortunately for her and for us he succeeded too well. From that day, men have had a false conception of God, and it is exactly this that has cut out from under them the ground of righteousness and driven them to reckless and destructive living.

Nothing twists and deforms the soul more than a low or unworthy conception of God. Certain sects, such as the Pharisees, while they held that God was stern and austere, yet managed to maintain a fairly high level of external morality; but their righteousness was only outward.

Instinctively we try to be like our God, and if He is conceived to be stern and exacting, so will we ourselves be. The truth is that God is the most winsome of all beings and His service one of unspeakable pleasure.

The fellowship of God is delightful beyond all telling. He communes with His redeemed ones in an easy, uninhibited fellowship that is restful and healing to the soul.

He remembers our frame and knows that we are dust. He may sometimes chasten us, it is true, but even this He does with a smile, the proud, tender smile of a Father who is bursting with pleasure over an imperfect but promising son who is coming every day to look more and more like the One whose child he is.”

………………………………

– A.W. Tozer in The Root of the Righteous, pp. 13-16. As quoted in the Banner of Truth Magazine (issue 531; Dec. 2007).

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Limits of Mental Illness

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Mental illness is so limited,

It cannot cripple love, 

It cannot shatter hope.

It cannot corrode our faith.

It will never destroy peace.

It cannot.

It will never kill friendship, 

It cannot suppress memories. 

It cannot invade the soul.

It cannot steal eternal life.

It cannot conquer eternal life.

It cannot conquer your spirit.

Amen.

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 P.S. I have received some criticism over the contents of this post. The argument is that mental illness is very destructive, and that I’m misleading others by suggesting it isn’t. The thinking is that we dwell on the past and how it effects the present moment. I believe we have a mental illness. But I also believe more strongly so that Christ redeems us completely. “Because he lives,” goes the old hymn, “I can face tomorrow.”

In the “heat of the moment” the situation can seem overwhelming. Our illness can be completely devastating. However the Holy Spirit is yet to fully redeem us, yet we still must view this coming event as something triumphant and total. This life is not the end. What a relief to shed this mortal darkness!

“Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. 4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Revelation 21:3-4

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