Having a Nervous Breakdown

nervous-breakdownThe phrase “nervous breakdown” is a common term used to describe any sort of severe mental distress. It can mean a variety of things: clinical depression, to manic episodes, to hearing voices (or schizophrenia). It is a broad term which can describe many different issues, but especially the most flagrant and public ones.

People who have had a nervous breakdown are very often considered flawed or weak. Their weakness has become public. And so often there is the need for secrecy. At all times and in all places, a solidity must be projected (even if it is unreal). So many don’t realize how much effort it takes some people to act normal.

We are what we are. And Jesus wants us to walk in the truth. Certainly we should never indulge in exhibitionism nor to flaunter our issues before others purposefully. Rather we “are to have the mind of Christ.” All we are is what he wants us to be, (Read Romans 8, and be encouraged).

I think “brokenness” is the only way to handle this spiritually.

We must see ourselves as broken people being made whole be the blood of Christ. We are twisted and torn with many issues and concerns. Perhaps genetically or socially flawed, yet we each stand open to God. It’s necessary is to see that his power and grace can never be restricted, no matter how complicated we are.

Just perhaps we are the modern equivalent of the biblical version of the leper. We are “unclean,” and must make it known publicly. But as lepers we are close to the heart of Jesus. He has always had mercy on such as we. And on the margins we find he is seeking us out. We will stand, because he makes us stand.

“Spirituality is not about being fixed; it is about God’s being present in the mess of our unfixedness.”

Mike Yaconelli

6 “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

Philippians 1:6

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My Secret Temptations

Adam and Eve in the Garden by Michelangelo
Adam and Eve in the Garden, by Michelangelo

First and plainly, God has never tempted me to do anything evil. All that has come has been a test– to see if I would respond to sin. Whatever has come has me accepting the dark things over the light. God has no intention of seeing me fail in this. By resisting sin, I become strong. It is a gym of the Spirit.

I sin, because I want to. I will not excuse myself in this. I can’t blame God.

There are certain issues that I need to understand.

One, I must know the difference between needs and desires. We have a real need to know all that God has for us. But what I need and what I desire are separate issues. I dare not confuse the two.

Second, I’m to fix my eyes on Jesus. His own trials are meant to give me strength and purpose. He was tempted, but never sinned. His deepest passion is for me to understand this dynamic, We are not supposed to become casualties in this war against sin,.

Third,  admit your weakness over a certain sin. God blesses those who can do so, Power is give to all who admit their weakness. He is waiting for us to admit to all our flaws.

Fourth, there must be a willingness to resist sinning. Many breakdowns will come to thus point. We must want to hate the sin, but many will breakdown at this point. You must resist doing this.

Fifth, we must decide to flee certain things. Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.” That is up to do whatever you decide.

Sixth, you must ally yourself to those who are focused on this process. Face it, “lukewarm” Christians will bring you down. But real believers will lead you to an authentic intimacy. Become a friend to all who stand against sin.

Seventh, meditate on what awaits you in this. The Word has certain promises for all who seek Him. Find them, and take them up as your own. Believe into them. Only this can truly protect you from sin. It’s like wearing sunscreen on a hot day, these promises help.

Eighth. Rejoice in the realization all this is temporary and victory is guaranteed. These all are only for a brief time. Someday we will be golden and stand clean before our Lord Jesus. Things will be understood, and we will shine like the stars in heaven.

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Evaluating Jesus Truly, [CS Lewis]

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“The Difference Jesus Makes,”  from C.S. Lewis

What are we to make of Jesus Christ? This question…has, in a sense, a frantically comic side. For the real reason is not what are we to make of Christ, but what is He to make of us? The picture of a fly sitting deciding what it is to make of an elephant has comic elements about it. But perhaps the questioner meant what are we to make of Him in the sense of  “How are we to solve the historical problem set us by the recorded sayings and acts of this Man?” This problem is to reconcile two things. On the one hand you have got the almost generally admitted depth and sanity of his moral teaching, which is not very seriously questioned, even by those who are opposed to Christianity….

The other phenomenon is the quite appalling nature of this Man’s theological remarks. You all know what I mean, and I want rather to stress the point that the appalling claim which this Man seems to be making is not merely made at one moment of his career. There is, of course, the one moment which led to His execution. The moment at which the High Priest said to Him, “Who are you?” “I am the Anointed, the Son of the uncreated God, and you shall see Me appearing at the end of all history as the judge of the Universe.”….

On the one side clear, definite moral teaching. On the other, claims which, if not true, are those of a megalomaniac, compared with whom Hitler was the most sane and humble of men. There is no half-way house and there is no parallel in other religions. If you had gone to Buddha and asked him “Are you the son of Brahman?” he would have said, “My son, you are still in the vale of illusion.” If you had gone to Socrates and asked, “Are you Zeus?” he would have laughed at you. If you had gone to Mohammed and asked, “Are you Allah?” He would first have rent his clothes and the cut your head off.  If you had asked Confucius, “Are you heaven?” I think he would have probably replied, “Remarks which are not in accordance with nature are in bad taste.”

The idea of a great moral teacher saying what Christ said is out of the question. In my opinion, the only person who can say that sort of thing is either God or a complete lunatic suffering from that form of delusion which undermines the whole mind of man. If you think you are a poached egg, when you are looking for a piece of toast to suit you, you may be sane, but if you think you are God, there is no chance for you….

Now, as a literary historian, I am perfectly convinced that whatever else the Gospels are they are not legends. I have read a great deal of legend and I am quite clear that they are not the same sort of thing. They are not artistic enough to be legends. From an imaginative point of view they are clumsy, they don’t work up to things properly…

[Take, for example] the strangest story of all, the story of the Resurrection. It is very necessary to get the story clear. I heard a man say, “The importance of the Resurrection is that it gives evidence of survival, evidence that the human personality survives death.” On that view what happened to Christ would be what had always happened to all men, the difference being that in Christ’s case we were privileged to see it happening. This is certainly not what the earliest Christian writers thought. Something perfectly new in the history of the Universe had happened. Christ had defeated death. The door which had always been locked had for the very first time been forced open. This is something quite distinct from mere ghost-survival. I don’t mean that they disbelieved in ghost- survival. On the contrary, they believed in it so firmly that, on more than one occasion, Christ had had to assure them that He was not a ghost. The point is that while believing in survival they yet regarded the Resurrection as something totally different and new. The Resurrection narratives are not a picture of survival after death; they record how a totally new mode of being has arisen in the universe. Something new had appeared in the universe: as new as the first coming of organic life. This Man, after death, does not get divided into “ghost” and “corpse”. A new mode of being has arisen. That is the story. What are we going to make of it?

The things He says are very different from what any other teacher has said. Others say, “This is the truth about the Universe.  This is the way you ought to go,” but He says, “I am the Truth, and the Way, and the Life.” He says, “No man can reach absolute reality, except through Me. Try to retain your own life and you will be inevitably ruined. Give yourself away and you will be saved.” He says, “If you are ashamed of Me, if, when you hear this call, you turn the other way, I also will look the other way when I come again as God without disguise. If anything whatever is keeping you from God and from Me, whatever it is, throw it away. If it is your eye, pull it out. If it is your hand, cut it off. If you put yourself first you will be last. Come to Me everyone who is carrying a heavy load, I will set that right. Your sins, are wiped out, I can do that. I am Re-birth, I am Life. Eat Me, drink Me, I am your food. And finally, do not be afraid, I have overcome the whole Universe.” That is the issue.”

– Asking Them Questions, Third Series, edited by Ronald Selby Wright (OUP, 1050), also reproduced inUndeceptions (Geofffrey Bles, 1971) and God in the Dock, Chapter 9 (Fount, 1979)
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How God Guides Rascals [Direction]

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These are rough notes I just compiled. They seem to be the different ways God guides the broken believer into His purposes and into His Will. I simply hope you’ll be able to extrapolate off them to find a personal direction. These have worked for me for over 30 years of following the Lord Jesus Christ.

“I will lead the blind by a way they do not know,
In paths they do not know I will guide them.
I will make darkness into light before them
And rugged places into plains.
These are the things I will do,
And I will not leave them undone.”

Isaiah 42:16, NASB

I want to lay out some practical ideas for those who desire to hear God. The following are principles to be considered.

A Rascal’s List of Guidance

  1. Discipline, Hebrew 12:5-11, the “woodshed.”
  2. Wisdom (a.k.a., yours and other people’s mistakes) Ps. 73:24
  3. The Word, logos and rhema— corporate, and personal understanding, Isa. 30:21
  4. Counselors, and advice– Luke 14:31
  5. Supernatural means, dreams or prophecy seen many times in scripture
  6. Peace, joy and brokenness, humility— Ps. 25:9
  7. With His eyes on us, God’s attentiveness to our path
  8. The church, and its pastors and elders. Jeremiah 3:15
  9. Opposing counsel from a respected leader helps you count the cost, Agabus in Acts 21
  10. Family, close friends, relationships (can be secular)
  11. Duty and loyalty, a requirement for future insight, also faithful in little things
  12. Quietness and alertness, through prayer/worship. Wait, and wait some more.
  13. Circumstances, positive or negative, Ps. 32:8
  14. Testing, temptation– toward godliness always
  15. Greater servanthood to be had– which way makes me serve in a greater way?
  16. To give a future and a hope always, Jer. 29:11
  17. The Book of Proverbs (31 chapters in 31 days is no coincidence)
  18. Travel, seeing needs of others, and discerning real needs of overseas work
  19. God’s very nature is to reveal (and He knows your inadequacies)
  20. Away from error, especially religious cults or the occult, horoscopes, etc.
  21. God’s glory and for His honor only, Ps. 43:3

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In discerning the will of God, you should line up as many as possible— not just one, but several. He sees your eager heart, and He will make things clear. Remember, you must proceed in faith, (Hebrews 11:1, 6), “for we walk by faith, not by sight,” 2 Cor. 5:7.

Any deficiencies or short-comings of this list are exclusively my own. I’m certain you can make your own list and a better version. Feel free to distribute or use as you see fit. “Eat the meat, and spit out the bones.” Remember this verse: “It is God’s privilege to conceal things, and the king’s privilege to discover them.” Proverbs 25:2, NLT.

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