Seeing Suffering Work in Me

“We were promised sufferings. They were part of the program. We were even told, ‘Blessed are they that mourn.'”

     C.S. Lewis

This post and poem were originally written while I waited in my doctor’s waiting room to talk to her about my pain medication. When I told her I was writing a thankfulness poem titled “Pain and Suffering” she was skeptical, until I told her the perspective from which it was written.

James 1:2-3

Although I would love to live a life in which I experienced no pain or suffering, that is not my lot. (I’ve never actually met anyone who did live a life with absolutely no pain or suffering.) I know that those who find their way here to Broken Believers have often had more than their fair share.

I have finally come to a place in my life where I can find the good in all my pain and suffering – the “silver lining” if you will – in that it has taught me perseverance and compassion.

For that I am very thankful.

I am also thankful for God’s promise that my perseverance will finish its work so that I will be mature and complete. It will happen, I know it! God promised.

Pain and Suffering

I will pray
because I care
as the pain drags
you down
Exhausting
endless
pain

I understand
how you feel
I’m exhausted
just like you

I have no power
to eliminate
the pain
Yours or mine

Will you let
compassion blossom
from the compost
of your pain?

Or will bitterness
engulf your soul
as pain ravages
your body and mind?

Because I care
I will pray
that we persevere
that the pain
will be eased

I will remind you
this, too, shall pass
someday

It might not be
until Jesus returns
or calls us
home

But we’ll make it
We’ll persevere
and become mature
and complete
I will pray
because I care

Will you pray
for me, too?

James 1:12

Linda’s site can be found at anotherfearlessyear.net

Finding Your Way Out

 Edna St. Vincent Millay

The critical issue many face is trying to survive the next episode of depression or mania.  Somehow I think that cohabiting with something that is trying to kill you is especially disturbing.  Depression is my mortal enemy and here I am, giving in and actually allowing it to destroy me. How crazy is that?

Some of us get absorbed into a dark melancholy. We instinctively carry despair and despondency wherever we go. It’s hard, but I really believe it’s crucial for afflicted believers to begin to worship again (and again, and again).

I’m totally convinced that the Holy Spirit absorbs much of the venom Himself.

When my depression slumbers, life proceeds fairly well.  I can play with my kids, and be a good husband, friend, and neighbor.  Everything seems quiet and normal.  But when the dragon awakes, watch out, there’s going to be ‘hell to pay.’ 

There were many terrible, dark days that I simply couldn’t get out of bed. I was plagued with awful, dark thoughts. Meds didn’t seem to help me. I felt completely lost.

Depression might strike at any time, and exactly when, you can never be too sure.

“How will I handle it next time? Will I be in shape for Christmas, or will I lose it again this year? I just don’t know.” That’s the depressive way. But you know, the Holy Spirit ministers yet, and He will touch my heart again. He gently cares for the depressed.

2 Corinthians 7:6, AMP

My wife and I were missionaries in Mexico for almost three years.  We lived in a “burnt out” and very small trailer, with very sporadic electricity, and no running water. We had a 55-gallon drum for our drinking water, and we tried our best to avoid the mosquito larvae. And part of that time we had to park on the slanted slopes of a dormant volcano.

Sometimes it feels like that, I’m just waiting for the next eruption.

I am glad that God decided to intervene in my life.  Without question, I need Him to watch over me. I have to believe that He will keep rescuing me over and over. As a believer in Jesus, I know he has put his hands on me.  He shields me from the dragon. 

And I have to believe that He protects me from the worst of it. 

Christians in Cages

Psalm 124

We can play “the what if game.” We can think backwards, and hit replay, and pretend alternate realities. What if, I didn’t join the army? What if I died on that last drunken binge, choking on my own vomit? What if I would’ve died on that last suicide attempt?

David asks an enormous “what if” in Psalm 124:1-2

He poses this question. He wants Israel to understand what he is saying. He asks the people to repeat after him. He then re-frames the question in verse 2. “What if God had not stepped into the situation?

David insists that his listeners think this through.

And this trip down ‘memory lane’ examines what would of (or could have) happened if God would have simply taken His hand off Israel as a nation.

I truly believe that we should do the very same today. Just pause to reflect on His grace and care. Simply try to understand that it was God’s hand holding you in place all along. All that He does for us is very good.

There is also can be a sense of being overwhelmed by your enemies.

The malevolent forces of the enemy have a ministry. And that ministry is to ‘steamroll’ and crush out the light. Satan hates the truth and he hates you.

David is a very vivid writer, he had a fantastic gift–a great flair of choosing the best words and images. He weaves a song and we see God intervening, protecting, and preventing Israel from becoming a Satan’s snack.

Psalm 124:6-7

I love these 2 verses. “Escaped” is emphasized twice–the bird catchers have collected many small birds, snared by a little food and a strong net. They keep them in a cage. But wait! Something has just happened, and the birds have somehow escaped!

Have you been wounded inside? Do you struggle hard with depression and loneliness?

There is so much ugliness. The enemy can throw so much at us. Many of us lack the strength to resist him. We can fight and flap and throw ourselves at the bars, but we are trapped. But then Jesus comes, He smashes cages, and frees birds like us.

Verse 8 is the final thought of this psalm.

It sums up everything so wonderfully. There is help. Our Creator deeply cares for us. He has ultimate strength. Put your heart in His hands. We read the last verse…

“Our help is in the name of the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.”

Psalm 124:8

brokenbelievers.com

 

Repeat Offenders

“Father, every family has a rascal someone who breaks the rules a juvenile delinquent of untold frustrations and sleepless nights a repeated offender and bearer of sad woe the problem child who needs the most discipline.

Is this why you love me most persistently? When you correct me, is it because I’m the one most contrary?

Or is it that you love me so much?”

 I wrote this thinking about Hebrews 12 and God’s purpose of chastening. I don’t pretend to understand this dynamic completely–all I can say is that my childhood was punctuated by much difficulty. But now, as a father (my two children are now grown), fatherhood has become far easier than my dad had with me.

7 “As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? 10 For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how.

But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. 11 No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.”

Hebrews 12:7, 10-11

I really think we understand our Heavenly Father when we spend quality time with Hebrews 12. We are given insight into His care and into our own issues. It is a good thing He gives us— it enriches our spiritual lives.

It’s never nice to be corrected.

It’s not pleasant. Part of being corrected is being reminded that we’re not as righteous as we think we are. To be corrected strikes us to a reprimand, an admonition that something isn’t right inside of us.

The Father corrects His children–in many ways through a myriad of circumstances. He loves us far too much to allow us to continue in our sin. He’s making us into the image of Christ.

We should welcome His correction. He has a plan for you.

When He disciplines you, it only proves that He is your Father. It’s critical to remember: God’s correction is always for our good. It may be painful yes, but it comes with real hope. It’s not to harm or punish you.

“Father, I’m so sorry that I grieve you as often as I do. I promise to behave. Thank you for being a faithful Father who cares deeply for my soul. Amen.”

 Hannah Whitall Smith.