Melancholy Beckons Me

melancholy-tree

Objectively speaking, my life is pretty good, for the most part. I have a good job, been married 25 years, have a wonderful creative son, a terrific church home and family, blood family that I love, a cute loveable dog, a nice house, plenty to eat — I could go on and on about the blessings in my life, and I do try to focus on the greatest blessing of all, my dear Jesus.

And yet melancholy beckons me. It bids me turn my gaze from the Lord and my blessings, and instead focus on the one thing that is not as I would like it to be.

I feel a bit like Peter must have felt when he looked down at the crashing waves instead of at Jesus. Yes, there was a storm all about Peter, but he was standing safely above it as long as he kept his eyes on Jesus. Looking at the scene with the benefit of hindsight, I know that Jesus eventually calmed Peter’s storm. It was only when Peter looked away that he began to sink into the deep.

I know, too, that He will calm my storm. As the tempest rages and melancholy beckons, I know it is essential to keep my eyes on my Savior lest I sink into the deep. I know that I must trust in Jesus, and trust I do.

Still trust is so hard when tears well up behind sad eyes, when nothing changes and the storm continues to howl all around me. But in fact, upon closer examination, something has changed, and that is the tempest within. It is me He has changed as He strengthens my faith. He has changed violent anger and indignation to sadness and compassion, to melancholy.

Standing in the wings is indifference, worse even than melancholy, because indifference means giving up hope. It clings to pride and indignation, not wanting to let go. Indifference means a deliberate decision to not care about another, only self. But the change my Lord has wrought in my heart bids me stay clear of indifference. Melancholy is at least useful for self-examination and for reminding me of how desperately I need Jesus.

The Psalms are wonderful for times like this. Just this morning as I began my prayer time, I read Psalm 28 and came to these words of encouragement:

Blessed be the Lord,
Because He has heard the voice of my supplications!
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped;
Therefore my heart greatly rejoices,
And with my song I will praise Him.
Psalm 28:6-7 (NKJV).

Melancholy beckons me, but though I succumb for a while I remember that my Redeemer will never leave me. Though my mind reflects with melancholy on what I pray He will change, my heart rejoices that He is faithful to keep His promises.

 

Scare the Bullies: Psalms 86

14 O God, insolent men have risen up against me;
    a band of ruthless men seeks my life,
    and they do not set you before them.
15 But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious,
    slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me;
    give your strength to your servant,
    and save the son of your maidservant.
17 Show me a sign of your favor,
    that those who hate me may see and be put to shame
    because you, Lord, have helped me and comforted me.

Ps. 86:14-17, ESV

This the last of three parts, and we should be impressed with its diversity. There are vista points here, where we can stop and wonder. I remember lounging in the California redwoods, just meandering and soaking it in. It basically undid me. And after awhile, I found it hard to speak. (Itself a minor miracle!)

But scripture can do this as well. When we really start looking, and praying, and meditating we start to appreciate all the Father has done for us. And it’s not just “deep thinkers,” who can do this.  Actually, deep thinking is a liability. It is the simple, the humble, the slow, those who have absurd patience– they are the ones who can do some serious reflecting. Children do it best I think.

Commentary

V. 14, is pretty much David’s reality. He is on Satan’s “hit list.” He has a “contract’ on his life. He must deal with this as he moves through his day. I can imagine that this could be quite corrosive and detrimental to your soul; your heart and your mind. He must have thought, ‘Can I really trust this person, does he have a dagger?’ I would have been a mess, twisted up with paranoia and fear.

V. 15, each word used in this verse is quite precise, each phrase carefully used. This is not David flattering God, it is not “boot-licking” mush. Rather, this verse is an accurate portrayal of the Lord God’s character. It is David’s appraisal of how he has experienced God, the things he has found out about Him. David has a long history with the Father, and he reminds himself of how good God really was.

V. 16, in this verse we see David appealing to God on the basis of relationship. Also, David speaks of a kind of “future grace.” Yes, good things have happened in his life, God things. But that isn’t enough for the present moment, and the future. David needs freshness, a grace tailored just for today, custom built.

David’s source for his survival is in God’s cupboards. He knows this, and boldly steps up and asks for it. Interestingly David doesn’t come as an anointed king, having a majestic aura. When he refers to himself, it is as ”the son of your maidservant.”

V. 17, “The Message” Bible is interesting in how it translates this particular verse:

“Make a show of how much you love me 
      so the bullies who hate me will stand there slack-jawed, 
   As you, God, gently and powerfully 
      put me back on my feet.”

ybic, Bryan

kyrie elesion. (Lord, have mercy.)

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I wrote this on Feb. 21, 2012 and it was posted on my second website, “Psalmslife.com.” If you happen to like this kind of teaching, there is a “whole boatload” on that site, 70-80 posts just on the Psalms. I would be honored if you would check it out.  –B.

The Wonder of It All

Fairy Blue Wren
Fairy Blue Wren

This day– this wonderfully good day, has been a flood of kindness for my soul. Sitting on my deck soaking up the Alaskan sun, I’m jolted by a considerable awe at the created world that swirls around me.

I haven’t though these thoughts for a long time. But now they visit me, and I think it may be time to entertain them.

If creation is wonderful, the Creator is more so. He is responsible for everything I see. And living in Alaska gives me ample things to see and ponder.

I sat and mulled over a very persistent question. “Why is there ‘something’ instead of nothing?” There is nature that we see and touch. We take pictures of it. Our artists and writers and poets work out of this wonder that surrounds us all.

I was stunned when I first saw this picture of this wren. He is so wonderfully blue– a masterpiece meticulously ‘manufactured’ by Someone. I am left with an authentic awe and reverence that is left behind like when the tide goes out.

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” Genesis 1:1, NLT

“Be glad; rejoice forever in my creation!” Isaiah 65:18

“For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are.” Romans 8:19

“He existed before anything else, and he holds all creation together.” Colossians 1:17

What we see and touch is full evidence of God the Creator. He reveals himself– what he is like. His character is seen all around us. We describe His faithfulness which is like the mountains. His love is like the ocean, and He also finds time to feed every sparrow that He has made. His fingerprints are on everything.

We enter a classroom, when we step outside our house. My problem is my “drone-ability.” (I just invented a new word.) I move through the creation blind, without really perceiving it. I can be completely impervious to the glory of God swirling around me. And I really don’t want to be this way. I want to live in wonder.

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ybic, Bryan

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Profound and Certain Issues

Walking through a wasted world

As stumbling and struggling believers in God’s grace, we gather in a simple circle and wonder out loud.  There are many things that perplex us.  We share notes and try to make sense of our Father’s sovereignty and grace.  Sometimes, it seems He is out to get us.  I remember reading a saint, she said something like, “[God] no wonder you have so many enemies, when you treat your friends so shoddily.” (You can tell that I’m working on my attitude here.)

But it isn’t that he is out to “get” us.  It is more like he is out to “make” us.  A distraught woman who just lost her children in a house fire sobbed bitterly. It was obvious that she was completely broken and shattered. She turned to a close friend,  “What is God doing to me?”  Her dear friend, an older saint, quietly spoke with a profound wisdom. “Honey, He has just now started to make  you.”

Beware of giving counsel.  As I age, I’m starting to see how stupid that really is.  The human heart has pain that only God, the Father can discern.  I really think it is more  important to love, than to be right.  It has taken me decades to come to this place, and I’m still not sure I’ve settled into this. (But isn’t something God might come up with?)

We can guide, but we can’t direct.  We can give out a road map, but honestly it seems that is the best we can do.  I’m of the opinion that Job’s friends have a real need within themselves– to be “counselors.”  They seem to fulfill a selfish interest when the give their friend directions.  They want so much it seems, to be regarded as perceptive and astute.  They seem to be like Boy Scouts trying to get their “merit badges.” Often people in ministry are this way.  It’s like it is an occupational hazard, that pastors, elders and counselors must be aware of.

We live in a twisted world, and we are all trying to make our way through it. We often are clumsy and bumbling. But there is an acquired humility and a gentleness that drips slowly on our own hearts. This how wisdom is secured. This is a wonderful work of God’s grace that ends up changing us.  Surely He is making us, and the promise is that when it is all said and done–we will be like Jesus.

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”

Philippians 1:6, NLT

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ybic, Bryan