Dismayed by My Own Fallenness

“As the Scriptures say,

“No one is righteous—
    not even one.
11 No one is truly wise;
    no one is seeking God.
12 All have turned away;
    all have become useless.
No one does good,
    not a single one.”

Romans 3:10-12

Scripture never, ever flatters the human ego.  It acts on us directly, “dividing the spirit from the soul.”  I find no glowing review of our “noble” humanity. The opposite is true.

At our deepest core, the Bible teaches that we are depraved—separated from truth and goodness.  In theology this is called, “original sin.”  (I don’t think there is really anything original about it.) There is also a concept called “contrition.”   It means, “having sorrow or sadness over sin involving making steps to amend your ways.”  Notice the definition instills a sense of action.  Perhaps the idea of penitence need a new emphasis?

Does your discipleship include the reality of you?

There are broad, generalized teachings that are woven into the Word— the iniquity and fallenness of men.  It consistently talks a seemless truth, without fail. ( That’s one of the reasons why I know the Bible is true.)  Yet the Father has made provision for our falseness and weakness, he sweeps nothing under a cosmic rug.  You might say the Scripture completely understands us, as us.  Our illusions and deceptions, blatant or subtle, do not confuse or mislead him.

Our discipleship must be “walked out” in brokenness. That is the only way it will work.

We have absolutely nothing to boast about.  I cannot point to this blog— or having been a missionary, a teacher and a pastor as my “good things.”  Today, I sat and became very aware of my inner wickedness. But because He directly intervenes in my life, I will not die in my sins like I deserve.

I am sad.  You see, I am fallen, a complete failure.  It’s easier to find water in the Sahara Desert than to find goodness in my heart.  As a matter of fact, I’ve taken evil to a new level.  I excel, and then I keep practicing it trying to squeeze out more and more power— pride— pleasure.

Those who mourn their contagiously evil hearts (Matthew 5:3-4) are the ones who God can comfort.  Our sadness over our sin (and the sin of the world)—is evidence of the Spirit’s action over our depravity. Look for it, and rest in the Spirit’s work.

“Original sin is in us, like the beard. We are shaved today and look clean, and have a smooth chin; tomorrow our beard has grown again, nor does it cease growing while we remain on earth. In like manner original sin cannot be extirpated [completely destroyed]  from us; it springs up in us as long as we live. Nevertheless we are bound to resist it to our utmost strength, and to cut it down unceasingly.” 

 ~Martin Luther

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He Won’t Give Up, [Patience]

 

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“But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners.”

1 Timothy 1:16, NLT

I find that I often worry about the patience of God. Not that my worrying makes any difference. But I am quite aware of my sin and my failure. I am definitely not a “model citizen” of the Kingdom of God. I believe I’ve committed more sin as a Christian, than I ever did as a pagan.

But I must insist on God’s patience. I would easily slide through His fingers if I didn’t. But it is good to pay attention to the fact of patience. It is a good thing for us that He’s completely patient.

“And remember, our Lord’s patience gives people time to be saved.”

2 Peter 3:15 , NLT

The very idea that God can be patient both chafes and comforts. We might see Him “tolerating” sinners. But yet we also see Him forgiving our sin. Patience gives Him the freedom to do both.

We could get critical, and maybe even frustrated with God’s love for lost people. He loves the world (John 3:16.)  However, our love doesn’t extend this far. We see the superficial, and believe that to be the whole story. But it isn’t. We give up on people, but He doesn’t.

Often, “sinners” will become disciples. (And mighty fine ones, at that.) The patience of God works effortlessly in the hearts of “sin-confused” people. At times it seems like it is “two steps forward and one back.” But that is ok. God will wait for sinners like us.

The patience of God draws us into a repentant life. He is “long- suffering,” which means that He will suffer long. But slowly, inexorably He brings us to His side. We offend Him, disregard Him, but He continues to love us. It makes no sense at all.

But He teaches us, by example to be long-suffering. We see in Him such kindness and mercy. His love for us is immeasurable. He takes it far, far beyond human reason. His patience is illogical. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them — every day begin the task anew.”

Francis de Sales

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Feeding the Dogs, [Choosing Holiness]

A toy I grew up with, they were magnetized pushing against each other.

There is a story of a Native American elder who once described his own inner struggles to understand the Bible and Christianity.

“Inside of me there are two dogs. One is black, and the other is white. The black dog is mean and tries to talk me into making the wrong choices. The white dog is good and encourages me to make the right choices. The black dog fights the white dog all day.” When asked by the friend which dog wins, the elder reflected for a moment and replied;

“The one I feed the most.”

White Dog: As a believing Christian, there is a part of us that is Christ-spirited, compassionate, trusting, open, abundant and focused on helping others. We pray and are being filled with the Holy Spirit.

Black Dog: The other part is our flesh. We can be proud, evil, self-centered, greedy, manipulative, sullen, promiscuous, drunken, and only wants to he served by others.

“An analogy is made between the good white dog, our new nature in Christ, and the bad black dog, our old fallen nature. While we cannot eliminate the old nature, we can choose to feed the white dog.”

(From “The Holy Spirit: Activating God’s Power in our Life,” by Billy Graham 1978.)
 

howlingwolf3-300x281The main key for us to remember is that these two parts are in constant struggle.

Two Scriptures to help: One– “If you use your lives to do the wrong things your sinful selves want, you will die spiritually. But if you use the Spirit’s help to stop doing the wrong things you do with your body, you will have true life.”   Rom. 8:13, NCV

Two– “Our sinful selves want what is against the Spirit, and the Spirit wants what is against our sinful selves. The two are against each other, so you cannot do just what you please.”   Gal. 5:17

In thinking this through this analogy might help.  I’m inclined to think that holiness is not so much like an “on and off” switch.  But I think it’s more like a “dimmer” switch is turned to brighten or darken a room.  I actually think there are times when we should make a deliberate decision for God.  And yet other times we just need to turn up the dimmer from 30% to 80%. Maybe all the way?

I’m just thinking out loud here.

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My Secret Temptations

Adam and Eve in the Garden by Michelangelo
Adam and Eve in the Garden, by Michelangelo

First and plainly, God has never tempted me to do anything evil. All that has come has been a test– to see if I would respond to sin. Whatever has come has me accepting the dark things over the light. God has no intention of seeing me fail in this. By resisting sin, I become strong. It is a gym of the Spirit.

I sin, because I want to. I will not excuse myself in this. I can’t blame God.

There are certain issues that I need to understand.

One, I must know the difference between needs and desires. We have a real need to know all that God has for us. But what I need and what I desire are separate issues. I dare not confuse the two.

Second, I’m to fix my eyes on Jesus. His own trials are meant to give me strength and purpose. He was tempted, but never sinned. His deepest passion is for me to understand this dynamic, We are not supposed to become casualties in this war against sin,.

Third,  admit your weakness over a certain sin. God blesses those who can do so, Power is give to all who admit their weakness. He is waiting for us to admit to all our flaws.

Fourth, there must be a willingness to resist sinning. Many breakdowns will come to thus point. We must want to hate the sin, but many will breakdown at this point. You must resist doing this.

Fifth, we must decide to flee certain things. “Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.” That is up to do whatever you decide.

Sixth, you must ally yourself to those who are focused on this process. Face it, “lukewarm” Christians will bring you down. But real believers will lead you to an authentic intimacy. Become a friend to all who stand against sin.

Seventh, meditate on what awaits you in this. The Word has certain promises for all who seek Him. Find them, and take them up as your own. Believe into them. Only this can truly protect you from sin. It’s like wearing sunscreen on a hot day, these promises help.

Eighth. Rejoice in the realization all this is temporary and victory is guaranteed. These all are only for a brief time. Someday we will be golden and stand clean before our Lord Jesus. Things will be understood, and we will shine like the stars in heaven.

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